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Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:14:59 AM

andi41

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why would a slave girl want to share a Master with another? Especially when the first girl does not welcome her to the relationship? what makes a slave girl go after a Master who owns one already?

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:21:07 AM

mixielicous

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because it was His decision and He will do as He pleases. slave should welcome the other with nothing but smiles b/c it is what He wants. she is a slave, isnt she? jealousy is natural, but she chose to serve Him, in a way which He desires.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:21:17 AM

kisshou

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because she wants to be with the Master and does not care about the first girl. With the first girls shitty, unwelcoming attitude she probably figures it is just a matter of time before the Master releases the fist girl.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:29:49 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: andi41

why would a slave girl want to share a Master with another? Especially when the first girl does not welcome her to the relationship? what makes a slave girl go after a Master who owns one already?

Sharing often gives one more to love than less. It can lessen the burdens of caring for a Master's home and self considerably.

Perhaps the slave doing the pursuing (are you sure the slave girl is not the one being pursued by aforementioned Master?)believes this man to be the correct Master for her.

More to the point; has the Master named the girl already in the relationship as first girl? Is the Master aware of the original girl’s feelings? Is the Master aware the original girl has communicated (if she has) these feelings to the perspective new girl?

From the little you have written i gather you are the original girl in the relationship. The very best thing you can do is communicate your feelings to your Master. Better still have a three way sit down discussion of the issue so all are heard. Depending of course on the nature of your relationship it may well be the Master's decision in the end.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:34:49 AM

bandit25

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I think many find themselves in this situation. Yes, he is Master and he is doing what pleases him. I agree with all the replies, but must say that's why I don't consider myself a slave. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I tried and just can't.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:36:55 AM

slaverosebeauty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: andi41

why would a slave girl want to share a Master with another? Especially when the first girl does not welcome her to the relationship? what makes a slave girl go after a Master who owns one already?

Personally, I don't share. Not gonna happen. I don't want to be shared and won't be. I fall in the the catagory of 'marry your Master' though. So, I have a bit of a bias. A Master needs to have his focus on the slave he is with, if their is not agreeement to be 'exclusive' then, one may want to bring that up and talk about it. Communication is the best thing, especially if you are sharing.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:54:09 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: andi41
why would a slave girl want to share a Master with another?

There's lots of reasons for this- mostly "because it feels right and makes her fulfilled to do so."

quote:

Especially when the first girl does not welcome her to the relationship?

Well that tends to be a big problem right there and no I don't know why someone would come into a relationship knowing this- unless they had some misguided notion that they could work it out and make it all better and that "love conquers all."

quote:

what makes a slave girl go after a Master who owns one already?

Oh lots of reasons- again, mostly because it fulfills her.

Lots of people are in relationships with multiple slaves and are very happy and functioning.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 8:58:41 AM

EndConfusionIL

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Not to say what is right or wrong for any individual, and not to say monogamy, polyandry, polyamory, polygyny, swinging or anything else is right or wrong..... rather, to point out that this forum is, at least in large part, a d/s internet place. For the submissive to say, "I will not share" is two things. First, it shows an assumption of a proprietary relationship. The submissive somehow owns, possesses or has some claim to the dominant. How can one refuse to share something unless they possess it? Second, "I will not share" is dominance. It is "my way or the highway". It is setting the rules and parameters of the relationship, at least insofar as "sharing" is concerned. It is a reversal of the agreed upon, defined roles within the relationship.

Personally, I have found that inconsistency complicates life. Especially, inconsistency complicates relationships, usually ending up making them unhappy and unsuccessful. Your experience may be different.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 9:04:29 AM

bandit25

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Yes, but let's be realistic. If you don't want to share Master, then you have to ask to be released. For me, poly is a choice...you do it or you don't. Personally, I don't. but that's just me. I don't think it makes me less of a submissive, but again, that's just my opinion.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 9:12:55 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EndConfusionIL

The submissive somehow owns, possesses or has some claim to the dominant. How can one refuse to share something unless they possess it? Second, "I will not share" is dominance. It is "my way or the highway". It is setting the rules and parameters of the relationship, at least insofar as "sharing" is concerned. It is a reversal of the agreed upon, defined roles within the relationship.

Personally, I have found that inconsistency complicates life. Especially, inconsistency complicates relationships, usually ending up making them unhappy and unsuccessful. Your experience may be different.

I more or less agree with your statement here, though it depends on their pre collar agreements. Did the Master in question agree there would be only one slave or not? Even if he did agree though at this point he can still insist he has it his way, the original girl always has the option of leaving said collar.

That she appears to be(i may be wrong we did not get much of the story)stamping her foot over the girl instead of the Master seems to indicate as she agreed to obey him in all things and is now trying to top from the bottom. Or is simply attempting to rid herself of the new girl by her behavior.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 9:21:08 AM

bandit25

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That was my point, twice. If there was a precollar agreement, then she has a reason to question. And my solution...she can simply leave. What bothers me is the thought the one has no option but to obey...the option of leaving is ALWAYS there. Yes, I understand the concept of obeying, but for some, poly simply is not something they choose. I don't see how that implies dominance...simply a different lifestyle choice.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 9:34:15 AM

littleone35

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Well i told my Master before i was collared that i wanted to be his only girl and he agreed. I did not want to share and he will not share. That was one of my hard limits that neither one of us would share. And i am glad he agreed.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to bandit25)

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 10:08:34 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Saying that one should do this because it's as Master wishes is all fine a good...until you find that you're not wired to be polyamorous. If you know that you are NOT, don't enter into a relationship where you will expected to be (this applies to both you and the other girl). If the Master is poly, he/she should say so. But, sometimes, we don't know and must test. If this happens, the Master has to be prepared to loose slaves they already have if the slave decides they are not poly. slaves have to be prepared to leave a relationship if they find they can't handle the established poly relationship.

That all being said, the only true way I've seen poly work well is when all involved know each other and much care is given to those who are feeling jealous and/or envious. If one partner is uncomfortable, everyone should be uncomfortable. If it is to truly be a loving relationship between all partners, communication needs to happen between all partners. I've seen this work for several poly families, one of which contains 8 people (no, not 7 people for one Master). I'm happy to explain that web, given my friend's permission.

Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 5/12/2006 10:09:49 AM >

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 10:41:17 AM

andi41

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this was just a question as i have seen it many times. a lonely slave girl finds a Master that she likes to chat with and then bam she thinks she will become His when there is no way she will be . she doesnt let go..she continues to think that one day the first girl will be gone and she will become the one to serve Him. i was just curious why would a girl feel that she should be second choice? i know for myself i would never want to be second..leftover..it just amazes me sometimes how some of these girls think because a Master talks to them they will be His..even if they meet in rl, it doesnt mean anything.. the first girl is most likely there to stay if in the relationship the Master adores His slave and the slave loves her Master. why would someone wish to be a third wheel? yes even in this type of relationship there are human emotions, yes the Master should be happy in all ways and if He chooses to have a second slave why would he take the risk of losing His first girl? Just something to think about i guess..

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 10:49:11 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: andi41
why would someone wish to be a third wheel? yes even in this type of relationship there are human emotions, yes the Master should be happy in all ways and if He chooses to have a second slave why would he take the risk of losing His first girl? Just something to think about i guess..

There is a large difference between "being a third wheel/hoping to usurp someone else's place in a relationship" and "being a valued, welcomed and cherished member of a relationship."

Many second slaves are the latter.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 11:17:00 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: andi41

this was just a question as i have seen it many times. a lonely slave girl finds a Master that she likes to chat with and then bam she thinks she will become His when there is no way she will be

There must have been a reason the girl thought this to begin with. There are many Masters out there who will share advice and lend a helping hand to a slave they have no interest in. They are generally very explicit in telling the girl this. And there are just as many that will lead them on.

quote:

she continues to think that one day the first girl will be gone and she will become the one to serve Him. i was just curious why would a girl feel that she should be second choice? i know for myself i would never want to be second..leftover..i

.
Second? Leftover? OUCH!!!!! Really bad choice of words!

In the 1st place what makes you think if a Master chooses to add another slave to his house she would be his second choice or a leftover. In the best case scenario he would love and care for both equally. This does happen and it works very well for those into poly.

I was in a poly relationship of many years; at one time there were five other women in the house, were any of us less than the others? Hell no! We were the happiest puppy pile of women in the world. Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

I am in a poly relationship now, and, well, let's just say we never run out of cake.

In the worst case scenario maybe the original girl is no longer pleasing or was a stopgap measure until the Master found the one he could truly love.

quote:

the first girl is most likely there to stay if in the relationship the Master adores His slave and the slave loves her Master. why would someone wish to be a third wheel?

You are assuming the slave would be a third wheel. Why could the new slave not become an equal loved and loving member of this group?

quote:

yes the Master should be happy in all ways and if He chooses to have a second slave why would he take the risk of losing His first girl?

That you would have to discuss with the said Master. Perhaps he is displeased with the original girl, perhaps he thinks he should have his way and if the original girl is not amenable to his desires he would rather replace her with someone who is.

All of this should be discussed openly with the parties involved. If your Master is poly and you are not one of you is going to be miserable. Poly is not for everybody. That does not make you or the other girl a bad slave or a bad person. It only means not everybody is into the same thing.

You are putting way to much personal feeling into this and spending way too much effort making derogatory remarks about this other slave for this not to be personal. You need to go talk to your Master

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 11:25:27 AM

andi41

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of course it would be personal for those involved..i just cant understand the thinking of a girl wanting to be third or fourth or second for that matter...coming into a relationship knowing the Master loves His first girl and just wants another ..because He is the master and deserves this...not that the Master loves the second or third or fourth but that he wants that..why would a girl choose that is all i am asking...and actually i am the second girl and have no idea why i choose this for myself..why i am putting pressure on myself knowing that he will never love me the way he loves His first girl, knowing that i am just there to please Him in the areas outside of His first girl relationship.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 11:28:38 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: andi41
why i am putting pressure on myself knowing that he will never love me the way he loves His first girl, knowing that i am just there to please Him in the areas outside of His first girl relationship.

If you know this is how you will be fulfilled, even as wacky as it sounds, then it simply is what it is.

However, if the first is not interesting in being welcoming or cooperative, and if you do not believe you will be fulfilled in a relationship where you do not have that "same sort" of loving connection- then yeah it seems like a pretty stupid decision to get into the commitment.

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 12:04:26 PM

littleone35

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Hi all after reading my post to this thread Master pointed out to me that I apeared to be Dom in this relationship nothing could be further from the truth my point was Master and I discussed this and agreed that I would not be shared and Master will be mine alone because we agreed before I was collared I belive that if Master did bring in a second I would ask to be released but I am not sure of that. I would not want to leave Master with a new submissive. I would lose him and she would get him that does not appeal to me at all so lets hope Master never chooses to break our agreement because I love him so much it would be hard to leave him
Matt's littleone

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RE: Sharing a Master? - 5/12/2006 12:08:09 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
Hi all after reading my post to this thread Master pointed out to me that I apeared to be Dom in this relationship nothing could be further from the truth my point was Master and I discussed this and agreed that I would not be shared and Master will be mine alone because we agreed before I was collared I belive that if Master did bring in a second I would ask to be released but I am not sure of that. I would not want to leave Master with a new submissive. I would lose him and she would get him that does not appeal to me at all so lets hope Master never chooses to break our agreement because I love him so much it would be hard to leave him
Matt's littleone

Sorry your master felt like he needed to justify his choice here.

Remember- no matter WHAT you do, someone is going to tell you that you are wrong.

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