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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/22/2011 9:28:10 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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That's what I thought you meant, but wasn't sure.

I want to know what's with the guy on the left is on in that pic! He looks...well just plain dangerous

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 2:56:05 AM

Arpig

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quote:

I want to know what's with the guy on the left is on in that pic!

PCP. Lots and lots and lots of the old horse tranq would be my guess.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 3:23:09 AM

ranja

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We bought all our things together... He says His flogger is His and He will keep it if we would ever split... sometimes i imagine Him using it on another... it hurts so much that it turns me on too

i did have a dildo before i met Him... it was bought for me by a previous boyfriend... i never liked the thing and dumped it

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 6:17:17 AM

DomImus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
The last thing I want is when he is hitting me with that cane is for all those memories of that person to come flooding back into his head. I want those thoughts to be of me and of us, not a third party.

I am not trying to be facetious -I am trying to make a point. Unless you are into virgins you do realize that he has dipped his proverbial wick elsewhere before he met you, right? I see your point but it's not about the thought flooding his head. It's about the thoughts flooding yours.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 7:11:48 AM

LadyPact

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I'm half debating whether to put this comment here or on the 'gift' thread.

I can appreciate the comments from those who don't like the idea of toys that were used on other people to be used on them. I'm not in the position of bottoming, so I have no place to say that folks aren't entitled to those feelings. I just wanted to share a word from the other side.

I'm getting the feeling that people are going on the association of memories that this certain toy was used on this other person and you did that to them, and so on. It's not like that for all tops and certainly not for all toys. For some, it's about where they came from, who made it, and how much they put into it's creation. Where some folks are seeing a toy that's been used on someone else, I'm seeing a gift from a dear friend who made it just for Me. I might be seeing the first crop that was passed down to Me from someone that I greatly respect or the quirt made by the leatherman who taught Me so much. It might be the flogger made by the gal who did so much for the community before she died or the pair that I bought from the person who took the time to teach Me how to use them both at the same time and was such a good friend to Me all of those years.

I'm thinking it would be a real challenge to add someone to My life who thought those things shouldn't mean anything to Me after all of this time. I might just be a little sentimental for that.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 7:25:04 AM

NuevaVida

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It doesn't bother me that he smacks me with stuff he smacked others with. He's with me now, and smacking me, and they're gone. He also smacks me with stuff my ex smacked me with. There are some pretty cool tools in that toolbox, so why not take advantage of them?

Now, regarding energy/memories attached - - Yes, sometimes he'll pull something out of the "old" toy box that my ex used on me, and a memory of the ex using it on me with hits my mind, and then I let it go, and focus on the hand it's in now. I've only had two items which were difficult for me - one is a glass studded dildo (which I bought, years ago), which was used to hurt me pretty badly, and I don't mean in a BDSM'y way. So when he pulls that out, I sometimes cringe and cry before reminding myself that I'm in safe hands now, and letting go. And then just last night I was on the floor in front of the bed and he emptied a bag of nipple clamps on the bed which I have bad memories of. Before even realizing what I was doing, my instant reaction was to swipe them all off the bed and quickly fling them UNDER the bed. We both burst out laughing at that and when he went to retrieve them I shrieked, "No....please don't!!" and he could tell there was some bad juju behind them, so he let it go.

We won't be tossing those items; we'll be working through them.

We have bought new items together, and I suppose either of us could get bothered by the past items being used, but we don't let ourselves go there. We are together, life is good, and the whacking implements are enjoyable for both of us. There are things he made and things I've made - so while we might remember them being used in the past, our experience with them now is together.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 8:03:08 AM

popularDemand

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no more than about seven inches I reckon.

pD

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 8:08:16 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm half debating whether to put this comment here or on the 'gift' thread.

I can appreciate the comments from those who don't like the idea of toys that were used on other people to be used on them. I'm not in the position of bottoming, so I have no place to say that folks aren't entitled to those feelings. I just wanted to share a word from the other side.

I'm getting the feeling that people are going on the association of memories that this certain toy was used on this other person and you did that to them, and so on. It's not like that for all tops and certainly not for all toys. For some, it's about where they came from, who made it, and how much they put into it's creation. Where some folks are seeing a toy that's been used on someone else, I'm seeing a gift from a dear friend who made it just for Me. I might be seeing the first crop that was passed down to Me from someone that I greatly respect or the quirt made by the leatherman who taught Me so much. It might be the flogger made by the gal who did so much for the community before she died or the pair that I bought from the person who took the time to teach Me how to use them both at the same time and was such a good friend to Me all of those years.

I'm thinking it would be a real challenge to add someone to My life who thought those things shouldn't mean anything to Me after all of this time. I might just be a little sentimental for that.

I think for you this makes sense. Your toys are not only connected to those who you have played with, but they are also connected to people within your social network. This is a completely different place than I come from, so that is why I feel differently than you do about it.

I gave Sinergy back the restraints he gave me. I gave back the toys he bought for me. I know he tossed them, because that is his way. It was one of the things i liked about him... he did not recycle gear. I have my own insertables that I have purchased for myself. Those that were purchased for me, I tossed those. I gave back the cuffs, etc.

I do not want the stuff that was used on someone else used on me. I wouldn't wear their underwear, why would I want to use their toys? For me, that is what it is like...Now I am not saying it is literally like that, but it is the way I feel about it.

I do not date lifestyle doms. I am not attracted to photos showing large toy collections. I do not see this and say to myself "I can picture those being used on me", I think that person probably enjoys public play and a social life in the scene... neither of those things is bad, it just doesn't feel right for me.

I am the person that wants this in the context of a loving relationship... and I want a fresh start with the person, and for me a used toy bag isn't going to get us there.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 9:30:57 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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juliaoceania, you nailed it with 'insertables'.

Other things such as floggers, paddles, restaints.. All the bondage and S&M gear, is a whole different matter.

I myself have had no desire to hold onto 'insertables' and I tend to believe this holds generally true for most people.

When it comes Bondage and S&M gear...it becomes rather different. Stuff people hate to see some items wear out or break even. Let alone dream of parting with. Even with these things, there are almost always favorites (prized items). While other things can be parted with more easily.

Then there's the sublime things such as; Candles, Feathers, partially used containers of body oil. Things one could care less about one way or another.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 5/23/2011 9:45:47 AM >

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 9:42:53 AM

Tantriqu

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I'm the same. I throw away everything that was used, and generally retain only massage oils. Sure, it irks me that I can't always find the same flogger that fit my hand and my swing so perfectly or the strap-on harness I customised, or the strapon vibe that they've stopped making, you know, the blue one with the dip in the head, but safety first, and as has been said, I don't want anyone to think anything I've used has been used on anyone else.
It's very sad, and expensive, throwing stuff out that had made two people very, very happy, but if there's something in particular I want to remember, at least now I take a digital photo of it before tossing.
But it's also fun shopping for new toys, that sometimes, shocking I know, they improve on!

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 10:00:10 AM

juliaoceania

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Perhaps the expense is a form of commitment to the new relationship, too. In other words, you are saying "You are worth investing in emotionally, sexually, and economically". Toys represent an investment on all of those levels for me. If I buy it on my own, and it was only used for my pleasure, that is different...

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 12:57:27 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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The problem with one toy = one person is that you have to start all over again every time you move on. The last two times, I let them have all the toys, and then regretted it afterwards (I still want my white dressage crop back, damnit!) This would be even more difficult with my Owner, as we have invested thousands of pounds in beautiful, handmade toys and leather, wood and steel furniture to play on at home. One time, a year ago, we broke up for a few weeks, and were totally bewildered about what to do with them all. He loves the floggers, I like the canes, I would hate to think I would never feel my favourite canes on my body again. But when I think about somebody else using them on me, it makes me feel terribly sad, how would they know what they meant when they didn't know all the history behind them, how we'd grown with them? I didn't want to give them away, yet couldn't imagine ever playing with them again, what else was there, just throw them away?

So anyway, the only option is - we decided that we can never break up, for the sake of the toys :-D

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 4:00:44 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Perhaps the expense is a form of commitment to the new relationship, too. In other words, you are saying "You are worth investing in emotionally, sexually, and economically". Toys represent an investment on all of those levels for me. If I buy it on my own, and it was only used for my pleasure, that is different...

This exactly.

Thank you.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 5:18:25 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I have a very soft chenille blanket that I have used for aftercare since I entered the scene, I have poured so much energy into that blanket anyone who touches it smiles, it is imbued with me, I have a picture of BSB asleep with it wrapped around her and I don't tend to use it with just anyone.

Oh hell YEA I got me a blankie!!! I curl up with it at night... suck my thumb in a fetal position ...

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 6:44:29 PM

ThundersCry

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gee...I got a little teary eyed over it...can`t say I have a special blanket I would consider a toy -L-

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/23/2011 11:53:25 PM

TheShrew

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I have items that are well worn, and items that have never touched flesh. One means no more or less to me than another, because they were all created by my hands. Each time I create a toy it feels like a small part of me, and it remains true with items I've gifted to friends in the lifestyle. If I give a gift and later see it in use, I still feel a sense of pride in what I'd created.

As for the rest of your post ... very true. You cannot "really" flog [cane, crop, spank etc] anyone long distance, via IM chat phone etc. All you can really do is instruct them to perfrom an act upon him/herself, and I can't imagine that would be fulfilling in a long term situation. Eventually, you need the physical presence.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/24/2011 3:08:12 AM

LillyBoPeep

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while i like toys, i don't see going out and buying a bunch of new ones as a sign of his commitment to me. i figure he could show that to me in other ways. when i first got with M, he had clamps (totally cleanable ones) that he'd used before, that became some of my favorite things in his bag. i was glad he didn't get rid of them. =p he showed his commitment to me through his chosen allocation of time. when it went from "i'm free at X time on X day" to "you can come over anytime," that was what made the difference, not "i went out and bought all new stuff, just for you." i don't care about stuff that much.

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/24/2011 7:50:23 AM

juliaoceania

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I hope you did not take what I posted personally. I was just saying how I feel about it. My feelings have nothing to do with anyone else, nor do I think that other people who feel differently than I do lack commitment....

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/24/2011 8:15:51 AM

Londonpupboy

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I love just playing/fiddling about with my floggers and also my nice jute rope, I don't get it as much with other toys, perhaps that's to do with seeing rope play and flogger play as a form of the metamorphic extension of ones hands?

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RE: The depth of toys. - 5/24/2011 3:28:08 PM

ThundersCry

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ohh and one last thing...a trunk full of toys does not always mean someone is a great top...

I get a chuckle out of those that shoe a flogger and some handcuffs as their *pic*...

It`s like...so. you own a few toys whoopie...Its almost like an ego *thing*

Now, I do have a trunk load plus some but it really means nothing unless I am able to make someone fly...thats all they are is....toys.

Insertables...well, they are used for one person and if that relationship ends I toss them out -L- which usually pisses me off.

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