RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 11:44:16 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do that too, even emails, etc... I may "dump" them one day... but I may not.

I saved my ex husband's emails as evidence.

Other than that, the only thing I regretted dumping was that I had dumped all the emails between the ex owner and I, and when it was too late to retrieve anything, I realized those emails contained all the journals I kept while on my (life-changing) month long trip back east. Ugh. I had not saved them on my hard drive - only in emails to him. Drat. Oh well, they're gone and there's nothing I can do about it now.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 11:49:28 AM

ranja

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i have been with someone so jealous and insecure who really would have preferred it if i had not had a past... every thing and every body was a threat...
it was so tiresome and unrealistic

and i like collecting things
but i have been with my Husband for so long now that there really is no momentum left of old lovers save for a few faded pictures... tucked away in the bookcase... earrings have been lost, clothing worn out, trinkets broken
just the memories remain

all the things about us are about us
oh... He does have children from a previous engagement though...

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 1:47:26 PM

DesFIP

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I will say about jewelry, I've taken the stones out and have them put into new settings. This allows me to remake them into things I like and would have bought myself. I have a pair of really fabulous earrings now having done this.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 2:07:17 PM

NuevaVida

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Re jewelry, I have a beautiful set of emeralds - earrings, necklace, tennis bracelet - that my ex husband gifted me. Except he gifted it (shortly before we split up) using my Visa card, so basically I bought them, he just picked them up for me lol. I'm going to have them all reset to something I like better. I don't consider them a gift, though, because I actually bought them.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 4:13:03 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I guess for me it depends on the item and do they go on an on about the x all the time, or expect the item to have a prominent place of display in our home.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 4:30:16 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
Well I have no past relationships to clutter up my life, but Hanners does. She has lots of mementos and little gifts that previous partners have given her. They don't bother me in the least. They are like a roadmap of how she came to be who she is, and I like looking at them and hearing about the lovers who gave them to her. I love her, all of her. Her past is part of her, so I love that too.

I'm not threatened by her old lovers either, not even the ones she's still close friends with. If Hanners didn't want to be with me she wouldn't be with me, but she is. That's all the reassurance I need.

Beautiful :-)

I agree - absolutely spot on.

Yup, I'll pile on with that one too.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 4:59:57 PM

CreepyStalker

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All my girlfriends are much more concerned about gifts and things from other current girlfriends. I like to have some healthy competition between them see, so when I want presents I just start mentioning all the nice things my other girlfriends have bought me and lo a cascade of trinkets appear as they all try to out-do each other.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/23/2011 11:39:36 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

All my girlfriends are much more concerned about gifts and things from other current girlfriends. I like to have some healthy competition between them see, so when I want presents I just start mentioning all the nice things my other girlfriends have bought me and lo a cascade of trinkets appear as they all try to out-do each other.

I don't doubt that for a minute, but then again you have this crazy psycho hottness thing going on that makes me need fresh panties.

Oh and.....
Thank you Whiplashsmile4, crazyml & leadership527. I'm glad you liked my point of view. Sometimes I think I see things a little too simply, that I don't think deeply enough about things. I was a little worried that would show here.

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/24/2011 12:06:05 AM

TheShrew

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Naturally, every relationship that ended did so on either good or bad terms.
If it ended on good terms - I returned everything because I felt it was the right thing to do.
If it ended on bad terms - I returned everything because I had no desire to retain a negative reminder.
When I divorced, I packed all my clothes into my car and left. His home/cars/toys were his before he met me so I would have felt like an evil wench for stripping him of what he worked for.. before I arrived. I'm just not that vindictive type of person who can break someone .. just because the legal system would allow me to do so.

I realize everyone is not designed exactly the way that I am. Some people want or need reminders, and have a positive experience with retaining certain items. So, if I date someone who is the type to retain any tangible reminder, this does not bother me because it has nothing to do with me.

< Message edited by TheShrew -- 5/24/2011 12:11:22 AM >

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/24/2011 3:38:22 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I saved my ex husband's emails as evidence.

ooohh forgot that one i hae them all saved for same reason

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RE: Gifts and Touchstones from the past. - 5/24/2011 6:07:44 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

They are like a roadmap of how she came to be who she is

This.
Every woman I have loved has left footprints on my heart and I have been altered as a result of loving them.
I'm not an overly sentimental guy (shock), but the things that I save have value to me, emotional value. They are touchstones to my past, to the molding I have undergone, the lessons learned and have led to the me that I am today-in disrespecting these things, the other person would be, in a roundabout way, disrespecting me and the journey of my life.

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