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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 9:12:40 AM

sexyred1

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Jeff, I would say that when you have rich fantasies and you are lucky enough to find someone to make that happen, that is where the most primal sex and passion occur.

I think many people on the thread seem to think that a script is given out during a scene, when that is ridiculous. I am talking about how you might share a fantasy you have had and then unexpectedly, out of the blue, your partner brings it to life, no props, costumes, nothing.

Just the connection between you that made him find my fantasy so damn not that he instinctively knew how to make it happen, just between us.

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 11:24:29 AM

leadership527

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Thank you Sexy... that made an awful lot of sense to a guy who has never really understood what is meant by "a scene". Yup, I had visions of some event which had a start and a finish and a reasonably detailed script that went along with it. You've at least given me one other possible interpretation and one I can easily identify with. To me that's just what happens when two people love each other and aren't very inhibited sexually... one thing leads to another.

For Carol and I, expanding our sexual horizons largely means making them less defined rather than more. It's about getting down to that absolutely primal state of "here and now". Any sort of "script" or "plan" would very definitely be WAY too civilized and intellectual. Sometimes we foolishly try to start with some sort of plan in mind, then we end up laughing later at how it got jettisoned in the first 5 minutes.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Post #: 22

RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 12:37:40 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

For me, I'm not much interested in fantasy so we don't do "scenes". I'm much more interested in exploring the primal side of sex rather than the fantasy side. When we're fucking, neither of us has enough attention span to follow a "scene". We're both very much in the moment.

Insofar as others who DO have rich fantasy lives, my opinion of them is that they have rich fantasy lives. I see that as a generally good thing so long as fantasy and reality stay clearly demarcated.

It's not an either/or necessarily Jeff.

When we really get into what we're doing, it takes on a life of it's own......it is us at our most raw, it has often meant that all sorts of *wonderings* get a free rein and we go down all sorts of rabbit holes, some of which might just happen to be part of any *fantasy* we might have had.

We CAN do a scene and have.......but they are a different thing altogether to *losing our religion* in a sexual way :)

agirl

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 12:55:34 PM

NuevaVida

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I don't think theatrics would do it for me, but then I've never had the experience.

Years ago I did have a gang bang fantasy played out, but not through an element of surprise and not a rape-type thing. I wanted (and got) the opposite of theatrics. I was blindfolded throughout. Never saw the men. He knew them, picked them, and organized it. They came in and used me like a fuck toy, shared a few laughs, and left.

Being blindfolded and not even knowing what they looked like heightened the whole thing for me and it was a wild and amazing experience. Beforehand, I told my friend who organized it that I was unsure how I might respond to it (along the lines of what aromanholiday said), and he did check in regularly, sometimes just whispering in my ear that he was right there.

For me, theatrics would have taken away from that experience.

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 1:07:25 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527.

For Carol and I, expanding our sexual horizons largely means making them less defined rather than more. It's about getting down to that absolutely primal state of "here and now". Any sort of "script" or "plan" would very definitely be WAY too civilized and intellectual. Sometimes we foolishly try to start with some sort of plan in mind, then we end up laughing later at how it got jettisoned in the first 5 minutes.

We plan some things, but dont script them. For example, sometimes he'll say "I want to enjoy Goldie tonight" and that means the blonde wig is coming on, the skimpy get up, the slutty make up, etc.

While I know this will mean beatings, raunchy sex and photos, what comes to pass comes from our genuine raw passion. It's still us, just playing in a differently decorated playground.

It unfolds as we go. The only thing that's been planned with "Goldie" was a Clinton moment with his cigar.

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Post #: 25

RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 1:30:33 PM

leadership527

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*nods* I think I get that Nueva... it is similar to what Red said. I just never would've interpreted "Goldie" as a scene or a fantasy. I wouldn't have seen the wardrobe as a "costume". In fact, I've often thought that's where I get messed up doing my interpretations from BDSM speak. To me, telling Carol to dress in her silks or whatnot is simply "commanding my slave to dress in a way which is appealing". It may or may not lead to sex. It isn't a "scene"... it's just using what's mine -- girl and silks both. It's as real as it gets. I have a slave and I've dressed her decoratively for my enjoyment.

@agirl
Good distinction. I think Carol and I are too busy, at least currently, exploring "losing our religion" to have the attention span and neurons for some "scene". That may or may not change in the future. In large part I think that's because I spent way too much of my life over-civilizing sex. It's only a recent discovery of mine that some things... sex high on the list... do not benefit from all those higher brain things like "civilization" hence the focus on primal sex. Perhaps when we come full circle there'll be more room for scenes and other higher brain things.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 26

RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 1:37:00 PM

NuevaVida

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Jeff I think the Mister views it the same as you do. We have never talked of having a "scene" before - it's all in the context of enjoying what's his. The fantasy part does come into it, though, when he's imagining someone other than me while he takes "Goldie." Yet, that still falls within the context of using what's his.

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 2:25:47 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

*nods* I think I get that Nueva... it is similar to what Red said. I just never would've interpreted "Goldie" as a scene or a fantasy. I wouldn't have seen the wardrobe as a "costume". In fact, I've often thought that's where I get messed up doing my interpretations from BDSM speak. To me, telling Carol to dress in her silks or whatnot is simply "commanding my slave to dress in a way which is appealing". It may or may not lead to sex. It isn't a "scene"... it's just using what's mine -- girl and silks both. It's as real as it gets. I have a slave and I've dressed her decoratively for my enjoyment.

@agirl
Good distinction. I think Carol and I are too busy, at least currently, exploring "losing our religion" to have the attention span and neurons for some "scene". That may or may not change in the future. In large part I think that's because I spent way too much of my life over-civilizing sex. It's only a recent discovery of mine that some things... sex high on the list... do not benefit from all those higher brain things like "civilization" hence the focus on primal sex. Perhaps when we come full circle there'll be more room for scenes and other higher brain things.

NV's *Goldie* is as close to the idea of a scene as we come....Me in collar and cuffs, hung from some bit of kit from the ceiling isn't a *scene*.........it's a kick off for *whatever takes place*. It's not exactly civilised and to be frank, we don't overthink sex or bdsm.

You're overthinking it Jeff :) grin

agirl

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 3:32:32 PM

DesFIP

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I actually like costumes. It's usually too cold at Halloween for me to dress up and join the parade down Main Street, so this gives me a chance to wear one. It really is as simple as that.

However if you reread the op, you will note that she hasn't asked him to make the fantasy real. I really got the idea that she doesn't know he's planning this and hasn't been asked if she wants it to happen.

And as far as expecting her to safeword while she's listening to strange men talk about how they're going to kill her and dispose of the body, don't expect her to realize this is something you've arranged, don't expect her to be able to safeword. She could very well come out of it and go straight to the cops or a psych hospital. Do talk to her first.

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 3:41:03 PM

InCogNeato

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I guess my real question is how much realism do the collective "you" like when it comes to fantasies? Since she has already experienced them to some degree, I don't want to bore her with the same old same old.

Just to be clear, my girl is very experieced and well known in the regional community. She has played out these fantasies before spererately with previous partners, but when we first started seeing each other she would suggest them to me one at a time so I had her give me her top ten list. She loves agressive rough sex and to be taken and used which suits me just fine. We have discussed each of them individually along with her facination with kidnapping which did not make it to the list, but was the real catalyst for the idea of combining the other fantasies into one long ordeal. She has given me some details that she hasn't experienced and wants me to try, like what to wear etc... and all of these scenes go together like a movie.

I know she wants to experience/share them individually, and this is someone I am very serious about, so we will do them individually, over and over (except the multiple partner one).

I was just curious if the theatrics and staged reality would add or detract from the experience. It's one thing to play out each fantasy one at a time in your living room, and then go to sleep or watch TV, its another to kidnap her, take her to a unfamiliar location, rape her, bind her, gang bang her, cage her, torture her, give her the hose, rape her some more, talk about how to dispose of her body within earshot (for the full effect) etc.... over a period of a couple days. (talk about sub drop)

I was very careful concerning the "legal" stuff when we first started seeing each other. We are a very good match and she is very special to me. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, or go to jail. She works very hard at making me very happy and I was thinking about this as a special event to show her how much she means to me and that her efforts do not go un noticed and to let her know that what she wants is as important to me as her affection, service and obedience.

I have not discussed this with her becuase if I do decide to do this, I don't want her to see it comming.

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/25/2011 10:24:49 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

NM

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 5/25/2011 10:25:45 PM >

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Post #: 31

RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/26/2011 12:16:20 AM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
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Unfortunately, theatrics can backfire terribly... here's an example:

Wanting to surprise her Master, one weekend, she gathers all their BDSM gear (cuffs, rope, whips, floggers, crops, dildos... you name it), arranges everything in a large circle inside the entry way to their home, then strips and kneels naked in the middle of her arrangement -- awaiting her Master's arrival. Soon, he comes home, opens the door, and is pleasantly startled to witness how his slave has spent her morning. Before he can say a word, she purrrrrs... "Tie me up, Master, and you can do ANYTHING you want!!!" So he did... and then went golfing.

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/26/2011 5:27:50 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: petmonkey

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
(in reply to petmonkey)

Uh, Was that fast reply or did my post sound snarky? It wasn't meant to be a snark. my examples were meant to be light-hearted and not much more than that. i was a bit disappointed when i discovered that fantasy-dressing up-total roleplay doesn't do anything for me except give me the giggles. And i absolutely do not think people are drama hogs if they enjoy such things.

Well, it initially did not have to do with you, but then again, you sort of said that, but nicer than the other person who said. :)

Oh and Kana, you can have raw passion and animalistic sex even during role play. Believe me!!!

Not me. On the occasions I've tried role play I've just felt like a dork pretending to be something I'm not.
Not knocking RP, just saying it doesn't do much for me.
Course, Kana really likes being Kana, and that may have something to do with it.

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/26/2011 6:07:37 AM

ranja

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everybody to their own but
i am not into the kidnapping and rape scenario as role play at all, it is too depressing for my liking to be made 'real'... as a fantasy however i cut and paste along happily

For real i would much more like being corrupted... my rapist should take his time and make me beg for it... how embarrassing

and while a dirty weekend is fun... for a role play scenario to last two days might be just too long and restricting.

(in reply to InCogNeato)

Post #: 34

RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/26/2011 12:46:11 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

Course, Kana really likes being Kana, and that may have something to do with it.

It's a role you play so well

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RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/26/2011 6:28:04 PM

InCogNeato

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And on that note, I have decided that too much realism would probably just cause problems neither one of us may want to deal with. Thanks for all of the feedback.

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Post #: 36

RE: theatrics. what's your opinion? - 5/27/2011 4:46:13 AM

DesFIP

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The fact that she's done it before doesn't mean she found it that satisfying, or she might still be with that past partner. And asking her now if she would like to sometime have it happen doesn't mean she will see it coming when it occurs in three months.

I'm wondering if you feel a need to somehow live up to her past experiences in order to keep her with you. If so, please discuss that with her. She chose you for a reason. She's at a different place in her life than when all she wanted was to experience edgier and edgier play. She may appreciate you because you keep her on an even keel instead. Don't make these sorts of assumptions, talk to her about feeling that you can't compete with all her exes.

Communication is always the first tool.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 5/27/2011 4:49:36 AM >

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Post #: 37

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