RE: sub being needy

RE: sub being needy (Full Version)

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gothikbutterfly -> RE: sub being needy (5/25/2011 6:22:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: xssve Can't speak for your dom, but I love neediness, it's one more excuse to discipline you! Sheesh. She's an owned piece of fuckmeat. Who needs a reason to do anything to the cunt? Note-all ordinarily derogatory terms are used only in the very best manner and highly complimentary meanings possible You need to be slapped upside the head with a brick Kana. Sometimes I wonder about you...

Kana -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 3:24:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gothikbutterfly quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: xssve Can't speak for your dom, but I love neediness, it's one more excuse to discipline you! Sheesh. She's an owned piece of fuckmeat. Who needs a reason to do anything to the cunt? Note-all ordinarily derogatory terms are used only in the very best manner and highly complimentary meanings possible You need to be slapped upside the head with a brick Kana. Sometimes I wonder about you... The line is real long and starts round the corner... :-)

aromanholiday -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 6:04:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss <<<<< posts perfectly... he he he (can't even say that without laughing) "Perfect Postage" would make a nice, if annoying title. People would be peeping and picking your posts in order to prickily point out the imperfections.

aromanholiday -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 6:13:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Edit: Now I know people I tend to stay way from that are "needy" as I see it..The ones who are overly dramatic emotionally. That I guess would be my idea of a bad needy...Not unhappy about the needy part though so just want to make it clear. That's a good point. I've never thought of that as neediness before, but it fits. The "need" for emotional drama seems a compulsion: the people who I've seen expressing it didn't seem to have much control over it, sometimes not even awareness of it.

aromanholiday -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 6:18:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep honestly there's a boatload of negativity in some of the earlier posts. "been there, done that, then i got a life" -- how is that not negative? =p if it's really that impossible for the lot of you to see when you're being a bunch of negative nancies, well then no wonder it's so easy! sheeeeeeeesh!!! You got it. That's what I was referring to: those earlier posts. Quite crushing remarks, I thought. More importantly, potentially untrue.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 6:21:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gothikbutterfly quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: xssve Can't speak for your dom, but I love neediness, it's one more excuse to discipline you! Sheesh. She's an owned piece of fuckmeat. Who needs a reason to do anything to the cunt? Note-all ordinarily derogatory terms are used only in the very best manner and highly complimentary meanings possible You need to be slapped upside the head with a brick Kana. Sometimes I wonder about you... Why? What he says it Hot and what he does with needles is hotter...

Ravensnake -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 7:40:25 AM)
A needy sub can be his/her own worst enemy. Firstly because it can put pressure on or scare off a Master/Mistress Secondly because the sub can disregard safe limits in their eagerness to please.

PhilSlave -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 8:05:44 AM)
Surely subs are supposed to be needy. :/

LadyPact -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 8:11:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Hi LadyPact - In my experience, it's not that people don't love each other and get excited about being with their loved one as time passes. It's more like... it's not necessary to shout it from the mountaintops once a relationship meets a certain maturity level. There's a different kind of passion. (There are actually studies on this - it was part of one of my classes.... took a huge chunk of the magic/mystery of love away from me... but that's another thread!) I think sub-frenzy within the context of an actual relationship is kind of odd - in the way I understand the term. I see it as ... I neeeeeeeeeeed to get a little kinky loving... or I'm a die! That may not be the way others see it. But if I'm with someone, I sure hope I don't have sub frenzy... 'cause if I do, The Mayun isn't doing what he needs to do in order to keep me. It's the same sort of thing with sex. I'm I'm desperately in need of getting laid, then we have us a serious relationship problem. And if I'm this gushy gushy verbally about getting laid, then there is again a problem. Am I making sense? Must make another pot of coffee... When she first posted, I thought they were new in their relationship and therefore figured it was sub-frenzy. I still wonder how long they've been together in real life because it does have the whiff of new, romantic kind of love. (Which is different than sub-frenzy in my understanding). best, sunshine Hi sunshine. How was your day? I don't think we're on the same page here. If I'm understanding you, I think you're talking about how things mellow as time passes, which isn't abnormal at all. If it doesn't and people stay in the honeymoon or new relationship energy stage, I figure, rock on! That's a great way to feel about the person in your life. However, when both people feel that way, the word "needy" doesn't seem to fall into the equation. That word tends to come up when one person wants, but isn't getting some form of 'enough'. You can have two people who love each other very much, but when their wants of signs of physical affection don't match up, there can be a disconnect. When it's lopsided, that's when we run into that word "needy". When wants for our displays of affection are satisfied, we don't tend to use that word at all.

LadyConstanze -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 1:49:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ravensnake A needy sub can be his/her own worst enemy. Firstly because it can put pressure on or scare off a Master/Mistress Secondly because the sub can disregard safe limits in their eagerness to please. I'd say is the worst enemy, in vanilla terms, it would be that damned annoying stalkerish person you went out with once and they start ringing you every 10 minutes, send flowers, plan the wedding and all that. Seriously, if somebody is too needy, I think it's a flaw in their personality and they can't be happy on their own, now I can't be the person responsible for somebody elses happiness, if I'm the sole reason why somebody exists, I want out, it's just not good. I prefer to be involved with grown ups.

mummyman321 -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 1:56:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Seriously, if somebody is too needy, I think it's a flaw in their personality and they can't be happy on their own, now I can't be the person responsible for somebody elses happiness, if I'm the sole reason why somebody exists, I want out, it's just not good. I prefer to be involved with grown ups. God only knows how much I like clingy things plastic wrap or duct tape [8D] But a clingy sub or Domme is too much to take :)

LaTigresse -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 1:58:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: Ravensnake A needy sub can be his/her own worst enemy. Firstly because it can put pressure on or scare off a Master/Mistress Secondly because the sub can disregard safe limits in their eagerness to please. I'd say is the worst enemy, in vanilla terms, it would be that damned annoying stalkerish person you went out with once and they start ringing you every 10 minutes, send flowers, plan the wedding and all that. Seriously, if somebody is too needy, I think it's a flaw in their personality and they can't be happy on their own, now I can't be the person responsible for somebody elses happiness, if I'm the sole reason why somebody exists, I want out, it's just not good. I prefer to be involved with grown ups. My feelings exactly.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 2:05:08 PM)
I've just two plus two together after reading another thread. Needy Subs that intentionally misbehave /Epic Fail/

coookie -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 2:59:35 PM)
lol Now THAT i can agree to!!

littlewonder -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 4:52:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance quote: ORIGINAL: gothikbutterfly quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: ORIGINAL: xssve Can't speak for your dom, but I love neediness, it's one more excuse to discipline you! Sheesh. She's an owned piece of fuckmeat. Who needs a reason to do anything to the cunt? Note-all ordinarily derogatory terms are used only in the very best manner and highly complimentary meanings possible You need to be slapped upside the head with a brick Kana. Sometimes I wonder about you... Why? What he says it Hot and what he does with needles is hotter... Works for me <G>

uncertainlyizzy -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 5:01:25 PM)
I think needy is a term everyone has a different definition for. And a different threshold for where someone starts being needy and then another one where the needy becomes a problem. I'm high-maintenance and I know this and am quite honest about it before entering into any relationship. I don't want people to get into something they weren't expecting. D thinks I'm more than worth the effort and he likes that I keep in constant contact and that I need him. He says that some people just need to have more help than others. That that's ok and it doesn't make me worthless or less than or bad like I've been taught and that he's more than happy to help me because he loves me. He's also not one to mince words so I'm positive the moment I start bugging him in some situation he'll let me know it and fast. Drama is another one that is like needy. I have lots of "drama" but none of it is made up. D hates drama vehemently but he doesn't consider my issues to be drama because I don't cause them and I don't play them up or blow them out of proportion. Drama isn't not having problems. It's how you handle those problems. A lot of people don't see it that way though. Which is why I'm not with a lot of people. I'm with D. lol It's all in the person and there wants and needs and definitions and tolerances and preferences. That's why relationships are about. Finding someone whose values and needs sync up with your own.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 6:22:29 PM)
Izzy, I loved your description of yourself and your relationship. I'm not high maintenance but I can be needy. And I don't go looking for drama, it seems to find me. I don't know how many friends I've had to drop because there was just too much going on in their lives for me to deal with. Having said that, I have to find someone who'll be able to deal with clinical depression and understand that sometimes my moods go up and down. There's good days and bad days. I take meds, and will for the rest of my life, but a lot of it is due to brain chemistry and things up there don't fire like they should. I'm happier when I'm with someone who's loving and comforting and makes me feel like that. Being made to feel safe in expressing my emotions is something that I require. If I'm shut down, then I shut down and hesitate about communicating because I don't want to be made to feel that I'm less than I am.

uncertainlyizzy -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 7:28:49 PM)
That's my thing. I have chemical issues in my brain-ness. So I have what a lot of people consider to be drama. D just sees it as being me and he's willing to work with that. He doesn't think my anxiety attacks are drama. Drama is something you cause to happen or is the act of making something worse than it normally would be. My anxiety attacks are just a misfire in my mental workings and since I'm more than willing to do breathing exercises and to talk it out with him and to do everything I can to calm down as quick as I can D doesn't see them as drama at all. It's the same with the needy. When I'm down? I can be really down and really need a hand to either pull me back up or if that's not possible to simply hold onto as a lifeline. That too can be classified as needy and too much by a lot of people. Again D just sees that as part of who I am. It doesn't hurt his feelings to tell me he loves me extra on the bad days or to make even more decisions than he usually would if I'm having problems. Doesn't hurt his feelings one little bit. I'm blessed in a way I've never been before in my life and I'm thankful every day for that.

aromanholiday -> RE: sub being needy (5/26/2011 8:57:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ravensnake A needy sub can be his/her own worst enemy. Firstly because it can put pressure on or scare off a Master/Mistress Scaring off the incompatible? (amused) That's a needy submissive being his/her own best friend, IME (in my experience). quote: Secondly because the sub can disregard safe limits in their eagerness to please. Your point? Seriously, it's only unsafe if the person they're pleasing is a moron or (cough) "abusive." Some of us needy types come equipped with moron detectors in excellent working order, I'll have you know!

Ravensnake -> RE: sub being needy (5/27/2011 2:25:23 AM)
I speak from experience. When I was pro domming, I had a sub visit who insisted he had 'no limits' It didn't take me long to find them and for him to learn a valuable lesson. If I had been a sadist, his 'moron detector' wouldn't have been of much use as he was restrained at the time. Thats my point. quote: aromanholiday Your point? Seriously, it's only unsafe if the person they're pleasing is a moron or (cough) "abusive." Some of us needy types come equipped with moron detectors in excellent working order, I'll have you know!

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