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aromanholiday -> RE: sub being needy (5/27/2011 9:37:49 AM)
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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
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ORIGINAL: aromanholiday
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ORIGINAL: Ravensnake
A needy sub can be his/her own worst enemy.
Firstly because it can put pressure on or scare off a Master/Mistress
Scaring off the incompatible? (amused) That's a needy submissive being his/her own best friend, IME (in my experience).
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Secondly because the sub can disregard safe limits in their eagerness to please.
Your point?
Seriously, it's only unsafe if the person they're pleasing is a moron or (cough) "abusive." Some of us needy types come equipped with moron detectors in excellent working order, I'll have you know!
And some of 'you needy types' toss an outright hissy fit when, after only a few emails, you begin proclaiming your undying devotion and love, ready to move right in...........and the person they are communicating with won't give the home address for them to move to.
I hate to be the one to clue you in but some of you 'needy types' are outright lunatics with no thought for safety, either your own or that of others. And many of us M or D types, have other people in our lives we care deeply about. People we do not want to expose to lunatic 'needy types'. It's called being responsible and thinking with the big head. Respecting others.....I am sure these are not invaluable qualities in a M or D type and I am sure, as an s type, you can appreciate that in the M or D type you submit/belong to. As you would also be one of those that are benefitting from those qualities.
Well, not to worry. You don't have to hate yourself as you offer absolutely no clues in this area that I didn't already know. My former owner liked to assist people and he specialized in the hardest cases out there, the sub female "lunatics." (Perfect word for them, btw.) He did not avoid them: he took them under his wing, where they frequently tried to peck him (and occasionally me) to death. Life was quite "interesting" for many years. We could probably trade "war stories." I wonder whose would top whose? [;)] I suspect my own, because you claim not to deal with such people beyond a certain point of "discovery." My master, however, did, and therefore so did I.
Of course, the people you describe exist. That is obvious to anybody who's been around this scene for very long. Perhaps my past experience biases me, but I would have absolutely nothing to do with them were I dominant. But I fail to see how anything you say contradicts what I've said. You claim you want to inform me of something, but it sounds like we've both been on the same page--for years (well, decades in my case). Just like you, I steer utterly clear of those who are incompatible with me, those luke-warm dominants who cannot abide my intensity to serve and be enslaved or who do recognize what I am best for. I am quite skilled at sniffing them out and also quite skilled at quietly making them think that it was their idea not to pursue me. :) It sounds as if you do the same: you steer clear of immature types that are incompatible with what you want. Perhaps the difference here might be that we are defining the term "need" in radically different ways?
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