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how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 3:28:35 AM

highhopes4us

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greetings to all....

I have been collared to my Master for 1 1/2 {year} and i have to say that i find myself being naughty on purpose...just for the punishment.....is that not right? i spoke to Master abt this,for i tell him everything....HELP....

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 3:47:33 AM

sunshinemiss

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Ok. Look. You are talking about "funishment" which is exceedingly different from "punishment" - one is fun and sexy, the other one you avoid like the plague.

If you are acting up because you want FUNishment, and it is playful, and y'all play and have a good time, YAY. If however you are acting up to get PUNishment, it's 'cause your man isn't running the relationship.

sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 5/25/2011 3:50:33 AM >

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 3:48:15 AM

BeIgnited

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Some will say it's "not right", others are going to say it keeps things exciting and they like it.

What did your master say when you spoke to him?

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 3:49:51 AM

PdxJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Ok. Look. You are talking about "funishment" which is exceedingly different from "punishment" - one is fun and sexy, the other one you avoid like the plague.

If you are acting up because you want FUNishment, and it is playful, and y'all play and have a good time, YAY. If however you are acting up to get PUNishment, it's cause your an isn't running the relationship.

sunshine

That about covers it.
Sunshine is good, Sunshine is wise!

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 3:51:29 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

Sunshine is good, Sunshine is wise!

That ought to be the quote of the day! *I crack me up*

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 3:56:19 AM

DesFIP

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Your relationship sounds very new. Most of us settle into what works for us after a while.

If you have pain needs and he isn't meeting them except as punishment, then of course you'll misbehave to get those needs met. If so, this is his fault for not meeting your needs after promising to (assuming he did so) or your fault for not making your needs clear upfront. Around here, if I want a spanking, I ask for it. I also wander out naked, drape myself over his knee and wait to see what happens.

If however, you're teasing him as a way to initiate play and this works for both of you, then congratulations on finding a successful way to integrate more play into the relationship.

Oh and btw, it isn't usually a good thing for such a new relationship to be seeking others when you haven't worked things out between yourselves yet.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 4:22:29 AM

Charnegui

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Well I'm as new as the OP is in a relationship with my Man and so far I've been naughty, disobediend, but I listen well

Didn't have punisments or funishments at all, but then, we are not living together.

But I agree with DesFip, if you want to have a spanking, ask Him for it

or talk everything through, about your and his expectations in this relationship.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 4:30:09 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: highhopes4us

greetings to all....

I have been collared to my Master for 1 1/2 {year} and i have to say that i find myself being naughty on purpose...just for the punishment.....is that not right? i spoke to Master abt this,for i tell him everything....HELP....

What did your master say?

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 5:03:10 AM

highhopes4us

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SUCH GREAT advice..it is all in funishment.....thanks for the response

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 5:49:31 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: highhopes4us

SUCH GREAT advice..it is all in funishment.....thanks for the response

In my dynamic with my Master, funishment would have to be negotiated in advance.
Misbehaviors to get spankings are disallowed... and within this relationship there is a vast difference between the kind of spanking I like and punishment which I don't.
It isn't just the type of pain, it is the headspace that goes along with it: knowing I disappointed Him.

So my advice for the future is to communicate about your needs so that there is no question about misbehaviors.
Ask him to set perameters so you know where the lines are that you can not cross within the constraints of funishment scenarios.
Funishment is supposed to be fun for both of you.
It would be a shame to inavertently make it not so, for either or both of you.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 6:19:33 AM

littlewonder

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If I did that I have a feeling he wouldn't have me around for very long. That's not something he stands for around here.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 6:21:16 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

If I did that I have a feeling he wouldn't have me around for very long. That's not something he stands for around here.

*chortles*
And after he's done wearing her ass out with a cane, she won't be sitting for much either!

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 7:04:54 AM

coookie

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Someone somewhere along the line called it funishment and thus it has stuck but really it is a punishment dynamics with behaviour that will get you punished but not severe enough to put the relationship in trouble. It is a fun term though.

Personally i have never been comfortable with walking up to N and saying "May i please have a spanking?" but there are plenty of playful ways in which i can get taken over his lap and get a red bottom.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 7:39:15 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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I would call it being a 'brat'. That is - you're acting up, in a cheeky or testing way in order to get attention / punishment from your Dom. According to BDSM gospel this is not good submission, but that opinion varies from one couple to another. Some Doms hate it, and will put you on ignore, others enjoy it as it lets them be more sadistic with you.

owned xxx

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 7:48:04 AM

poise

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The title of this thread is "How To Be A ?"
What? A better slave? A slave that gets punished more?
Are you asking us this question because you didn't like his response?
Since none of us are in this relationship with you, it's impossible for
us to say if it's right or wrong.
I know in my relationship, it wouldn't bode well.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 7:53:54 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: highhopes4us

greetings to all....

I have been collared to my Master for 1 1/2 {year} and i have to say that i find myself being naughty on purpose...just for the punishment.....is that not right? i spoke to Master abt this,for i tell him everything....HELP....

What's your master doing about it?

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 8:13:25 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: highhopes4us

greetings to all....

I have been collared to my Master for 1 1/2 {year} and i have to say that i find myself being naughty on purpose...just for the punishment.....is that not right? i spoke to Master abt this,for i tell him everything....HELP....

Your couples profile was made less than a month ago, so that makes me think you are new to this...

As long as you are happy with what it is you are all doing in your relationship (as you said on the other thread you started) I wonder why you are asking these questions, it only matters what makes y'all happy, right?

If you are wanting to see what other people do, perhaps a question about that might be more productive?

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 8:25:10 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

I would call it being a 'brat'. That is - you're acting up, in a cheeky or testing way in order to get attention / punishment from your Dom. According to BDSM gospel this is not good submission, but that opinion varies from one couple to another. Some Doms hate it, and will put you on ignore, others enjoy it as it lets them be more sadistic with you.

owned xxx

I want one of the gospel books OFF has. Yes, I do. I have my crayons ready to cross out all the parts I don't like.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 8:30:19 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

Someone somewhere along the line called it funishment ...

I believe it was CalifChick. I could be wrong. It happens.

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RE: how to be a ? - 5/25/2011 8:44:59 AM

lizi

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Your other thread was about needing attention, I'd say you're acting up to get more. You know how kids will act out because negative attention is better than none. If it bothers you and you don't like behaving badly, you could try negotiating with your partner for some extra attention or maybe an activity with him as a reward for behaving yourself.

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