Aneirin
Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
I wanted to add this quote from a magazine article about John Elder Robison:
In Look Me in the Eye, Robison described why he felt more comfortable around machines than people: “No matter how big the machine, I am in charge. Machines don’t talk back. They are predictable. They don’t trick me, and they’re never mean. I have a lot of trouble reading other people. I am not very good at looking at people and knowing whether they like me, or they’re mad, or they’re just waiting for me to say something. I don’t have problems like that with machines.”
One day, a longtime friend who was also a therapist handed him a copy of Tony Attwood’s Asperger Syndrome and said, “This book describes you exactly. You could be the poster boy for this condition.” Robison was skeptical only for the few moments it took him to glance through the pages and realize that his friend was right. Robison asked him if there was a cure.
“It’s not a disease. It doesn’t need curing,” his friend replied. “It’s just how you are.”
Oops, me too, machines are my thing, and especially restoring old machines. Right now I have a 75 hp outboard motor in my bathroom getting a repaint and part of a 1962 marinized BMC diesel in my living room getting painted in mowog green, (if I could haul the whole thing in here I would as the machine definately needs a stripping to check the bearings and cylinders or at least a decarbonize, as only last year I restored a motorcycle in my living room). The rest of the motor is in an ex admiralty pinnace I am helping to restore, a new venture for me, marine systems, but I find I need constant input via challenges, so I can appear quite fadish, but in my fads, I am learning and absorbing information all the time. I can also repair all manner of machines and many electrical appliances, oh and I do not discard anything until I have totally exhausted all possibilities for repair. I seem to need constant input of mechanical information, and even a password on a forum I use, is the engine number of a 1955 sidevalve engine I used to own twenty years ago, and a chassis number for another forum password, I remember obscure information like that, but forget what happened yesterday.
You see, aspies although with difficulty in the communication area of life like to please and it is said aspies can never be leaders, so as far as BDSM is concerned, aspies make perfect subs and since I have done the sub bit, I have found I am totally comfortable in that role, it appears natural and the person I sub for has commented that they have never had it so good,( I massage well, but have never taken courses, when asked how I do so well, my answer is I project myself into the receiver and feel where I would like attention) ,which I take as them just being nice, but perhaps there is something in it, for the communication aspect is if misunderstood adds to the fun. But as a sub, the attention one so desperately wants but cannot communicate in more nilla circumstances is overcome.
I know where I might find what I desire, it is in the BDSM world, but my problem is to get to that world one has to do the preliminaries first and that is the problem, do I admit up front that I am aspie or leave others to find out for themselves ? Admittedly, I am totally honest if a little harsh sometimes, but it is my nature to be honest and I would prefer to be upfront as I do not wish to repeat past mistakes and lead someone else into a situation they may regret through not knowing. I in that wish to find an other who accepts me as who I am and what I am, not what they would like me to be, as in my past marriage, my ex always said although I was not perfect, she thought she could change me.
Edited to add, my ex said she suspected me to be aspie and knowing of my difficulties in my work, she contacted my employer unknown to me and said what she believed I was, the first I knew of it was my employer giving me grief for not saying such on my application for the job, to which I replied as far as I am concerned, I am totally normal until a professional diagnosis is made. In that job, like many jobs before it, I was aware I was disliked, but in that job, I created an extra £150k per annum profit on ideas I tried but did not run them by the boss first, my experiments in customer service, customers they lost when they refused to give me a pay rise after five years of the same pay and 150k per annum unexpected profit, the company folded six months after I quit and took my customer base with me.
When I was finally informed by my ex that she believed I was an aspie, I gathered the funds to get a diagnosis and announced my desire to which I was told, cool do it, but don't expect my wife to be there when I come back, for she does not want to be married to a loony. This told me the marriage vows I had so struggled to understand and implement meant nothing, the sickness and in health aspect, furthermore in her response to my desire to know one way or another, she was indicating I was mad because she in her unqualified capacity said I was and that was that, which I now understand to be a form of bullying and control. Dominant is ok, I can accept that, but domineering is something different I will avoid in future, as all it does is bring back negative memories.
So on here, the thought is on my profile to admit my diagnosis, but I resist and that because of the reason for this topic and the fact that I believe some might think I am seeking special considerations because I have what is in the UK called a learning difficulty.The other reason is I believe I have discerned that there are a lot of needy people on the other side, not needy in the fact that they need BDSM so much, but they need an other and if one is so needy, do they want a person who admits they have problems before they start ?
< Message edited by Aneirin -- 5/26/2011 2:26:41 PM >
_____________________________
Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha
Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone
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RE: Would you date an Aspie ? - 
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