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DeviantlyD -> RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex that wronged them? (5/29/2011 7:16:34 PM)
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I didn't read all of the posts on here...today, I just don't have the attention span to do so, but let me answer your OP, as well as some of the other questions you've posed in other threads you've started.
The world in general is comprised of a variety of people types: those who have different opinions, different experiences, different outlooks on life and more. We all have similarities - we all want to have a home that protects us from the elements, where we can sleep safely, where we can clean ourselves, where we can eat, etc.; we all want to have a good life; we all want to have at least one or more people to share our lives with...there are more similarities, but I'm sure you get the idea.
The differences and similarities don't go away just because someone may find a certain aspect of life (BDSM, kink, however one wishes to describe it) speaks to them. So in that way, sure, there are going to be people whose behaviour and possibly how they define themselves falls into the dominant realm, which they could attribute to someone wronging them...that they no longer want to place themselves at anyone else's mercy but feel they need to be the one in control. However, this doesn't apply to everyone who identifies as a dominant. I would hazard a guess that it comprises a small fraction and certainly not the majority.
This same reasoning applies to the other situations you've brought up in threads - yes, there may be some female dominants who are no different than beggars when it comes to financial domination, but I would guess this stems from something unhealthy in their lives, and certainly cannot apply to the majority. People need to use their own common sense! Common sense dictates that if someone you meet online is expecting money from you up front, that this person is into the money and not into you. Why would anyone involve themselves with someone who they know is not interested in them?
And as for your thread asking if kinky sex is "an attempt to fill a void caused by an inability to love in an equal way?" I would say yes, this may apply to some. How can it not, considering the variety of people and experiences out there? But I don't believe it is typical, nor is it the majority.
I read your profile. In it you made some judgments based on (I'm guessing) a few experiences on one web site. Truly, if you want to find a woman willing to dominate you in a way that appeals to you, get out in real life and don't rely on a web site. And use your common sense!!!! If someone is probing for information that you don't feel comfortable revealing, then don't! Being a submissive doesn't mean you give up your opinions and your wants and needs. Being submissive doesn't mean you kowtow to every person who gives themselves the description of dominant. You aren't their submissive and don't have to behave as such until you have reached that stage in the relationship. I'm certainly not going to give anyone I have only messaged with online that power over me. This site may be a place for some to meet a person(s) they are compatible with, but I think the best way to approach it is for the discovery phase, to get an idea of whether there may be more between you and another in order to know if you want to explore things further in real time. And if real time is what you're looking for, online isn't the place to realistically "do" a dom/sub relationship.
Hopefully you aren't like me, because if you are, you won't be able to get through this post before losing interest. ;) But if you do get through this post, I hope it will make you realize that a lot of the questions you are asking are ones you already know the answer to. To me, it seems as if the types of questions you are asking are really more of a form of venting and less to do with not having an answer. I can also tell you this little truth we all tend to forget: be the type of person you want to be with. Would you respond to a dominant female's profile who complained that they won't find anyone on here and that there are so many scammers out there? I can tell you it's a turn-off to read - regardless of whether it's true or not. No one wants to read whining in a profile. So I would recommend redoing your profile, pointing out the positive aspects of who you are as a person and who you feel you would mesh with.
That's my take on the whole thing.
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