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asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 6:45:12 AM   
subshine2005


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/17/2005
Status: offline 		when a submissive asks a Master if there is another sub and He does not answe how shoud she feel?
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 7:20:14 AM   
merrymasochist


Posts: 156
Joined: 9/2/2004
Status: offline 		It would depend on how important the question is to you. A serious question merits an equally serious answer. Yours is a legitimate question as the answer could have a direct effect on y'all's dealings with one another. Personally, I would take a lack of answer as a small red flag and proceed with sensible caution. I would then politely and specifically repeat my question again with the reasons as to why the question was important to me and my need of an answer, because sometimes questions can be missed and we are all human. If there were still no reply after my second asking, that would raise a major red flag with me and would probably cause me to halt my dealings with them. Good communication is too important to me to let something like that slide. 

Just my thoughts. I wish you well.

Sincerly,
merry 

_____________________________

"What hath night to do with sleep?"
J. Milton

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 7:23:40 AM   
Merritt27


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		That is dependant upon the sub.  If i asked my Daddy if there were another i did not know about, there would be hurt feelings no doubt....not because there was another, but because it was a secret.  i'm not sure how you worded the question, if it were me i would ask Him for permission to speak freely and then explain my feelings to Him...he may be more inclined to discuss it then, rather than feeling like you are demanding an answer.  i dont envy your situation.....good luck!



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Proud Partner to PlayfulOne

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 9:09:49 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I would watch his mannerisms and what he does. If he changes the subject or averts his eyes, then you have his answer; if he gets quiet, you have an answer. Not saying anything is just as bad as saysing 'yes.'

I would feel betrayed if I found out my parnter had someone else; thats me though. I don't [and won't] be shared, and I won't share either. Their are too few female bottoms and too many male tops anyway.

{{hugs}}

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http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Merritt27)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 9:18:48 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I couldn't agree more...if he doesn't answer the second time, you have your answer.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 9:25:50 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not sure that any feelings are "shoulds". To me, they just are.

If I were getting involved with someone I would want to deal with the whole "how many are you planning on and how do I fit" question before going too far. It's one thing to become part of a poly situation if you know about it. It's something totally different if it suddenly just pops up. Giving consent to poly is much different than having it thrust upon you. This is why I don't play with married Doms unless I know for absolutely certain that it's not a problem with his wife. If she's not giving consent, then it's cheating in my mind.

I think a respectful question should be answered respectfully. If he's not capable of doing that, then why would you want to be with him?

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 3:49:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The fact that you had to ask the first time is telling.  The fact that he didn't just answer is telling.

There's a 95% chance that there's another sub.

There's a 100% chance that there's a lack of security and communication between you and your dom.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 6:00:19 PM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		Isn't the the OP the one that started the thread about the "collar of protections" and if any "slave/subs had been hurt by them in the past"... or am I wrong ?

*sniffs the air and notes the unmistakeable stench of an online player "dom"*

T.R.

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Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 6:05:32 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My issue if I were you would not be "is there another" but why do I not trust him enough and have to ask these sort of things.  If you haven't spelled out what the boundaries are as far as other partners, you don't have much going.

Am I right in assuming this is some sort of long distance "real time" relationship?

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 6:08:00 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subshine2005

when a submissive asks a Master if there is another sub and He does not answe how shoud she feel?


Like he doesn't want to talk about it ..... YET!

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 6:12:30 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, but I've been called to task on this same topic.
He should let you know if there is someone else he is interested in, this I have learned...The Hard Way!
However, in time I sure he would not only tell you what was going on, but also why it was going on. Some Master's/Doms do not mean to hurt a submissive, but go about things wrong. We are all human. Having said all that, I'm sure he loves you, be patient with him too.
Scorned, Burned and pretty despite the scars, Kevin

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 6:23:20 PM   
OhBeMyMind


Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline 		Is it really you Sherlock??????

quote:

ORIGINAL: TolerableCruelty

Isn't the the OP the one that started the thread about the "collar of protections" and if any "slave/subs had been hurt by them in the past"... or am I wrong ?

*sniffs the air and notes the unmistakeable stench of an online player "dom"*

T.R.


_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 7:18:15 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		Betrayed.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 7:36:43 PM   
piscess


Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		Ask him again, if he still doesn't answer.....
 
follow your gut instinct.
 
piscess

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 7:38:31 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babysburnin

Betrayed.


How do you feel?  That is what is important.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to babysburnin)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 9:20:59 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		subshine2005, in your heart you already know the answer. All you are getting from the rest of us is confirmation of what you are feeling and thinking already. Trust your heart and what your intuition is telling you.

{{hugs}}

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to babysburnin)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/13/2006 9:45:42 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would agree. As LA usually says, if you're asking has anyone else ever___ the ansewr is likely yes.
If it looks like a skunk and smells like a skunk...it ain't a freakin pony. the big question is how you feel about it.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/14/2006 5:27:46 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		To my mind a red flag has already went up. The number one keys to this lifestyle are communication and honesty. It appears to me both are lacking here.

You need to ask to speak to him about this in a clear concise manner explaining what you are feeling and why.

If he refuses to be honest or to communicate either way you have a problem.

You also need to ask yourself why this matters so much to you. Are you feeling insecure or jealous? Be prepared to state the truth of your emotions and why.

Personally jealousy was never an issue for me, being lied to was. I always felt that if there was no trust there was no relationship. 



_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to subshine2005)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/14/2006 11:23:58 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		You "should" feel how you "do" feel.

And I have found that guys who don't answer a question usually "would" answer it with the answer you don't want.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to twicehappy)
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RE: asking a Master a question - 5/14/2006 1:56:32 PM   
nslut4whtmaster


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		i have been in this same situation before where there was another submissive but Himself was not ready to tell me about the other. During this time of His failure to disclose things there was talk of Him getting me a sister. When i first came to Him, being in a poly situation was not something i wanted at all, so i understood the reluctance to disclose the other. i would have left the situation all together. However, now i have a wonderful sub sister. Neither one of us like how we came to exist as sisters but the fact is we are here now. we had two choices, leave or stay we both chose to stay. Sometimes DOMs need some forgiveness too, they are not perfect and can make some serious errors in judgement. you just have to decide what is a forgiveable offense.

peace and respect,
ns

< Message edited by nslut4whtmaster -- 5/14/2006 1:57:11 PM >

(in reply to subshine2005)
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