Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself?

Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 7:29:08 AM)
Who do you submit to and why? Can you only submit to someone you perceive as being stronger than yourself? Physically? Mentally? Financially? Do you submit because of weakness in some areas of your life and you are looking for someone more competent than yourself in those areas? Submit because they pay your bills? Because they are more intelligent? Do you perceive yourself as the "weaker" one of the relationship? Another thread got me wondering. Talk of superiority, inferiority, weaker genders...... For myself, I submit to a Dominant partner when I find someone who has the strength of character, integrity and levels of intelligence that I find to be appealing. This does not mean that they have those characteristics at levels that exceed my own. Those who know me will tell you that you would be hard pressed to find anyone more secure in who they are than I am. I can not imagine submitting to someone who I felt somehow inferior to. That to me, is not submission....that is being overpowered. To me submission is a choice....one that is inspired by finding someone who has traits that you personally value...and who will be a compliment to your life and who you are. It's not something that someone will get from me because they can overpower me, buy me or outwit me.

OnyxGoddess -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 7:46:11 AM)
I concur. I cannot submit to a man that I felt wasn't superior to me in certain important areas. I'm a person where strength matters. If he is superior to me physically and mentally I can submit. I think it has something to do with my Aries nature. I'm just plain stubborn. LOL. I do not percieve myself as "weaker" though. Because I know he may be superior in some areas and I am superior in other areas. That being said...I will not allow him to treat me as if I am inferior to him. I prefer to be his equal. -If that makes any sense.

bandit25 -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 7:47:20 AM)
I can only submit to one who is my equal mentally and stronger physically. Financially? As long as I don't have to support him, it's of no consequence to me. I feel much the same way as you do, erin. It's my choice to submit and I chose one who compliments me. I make a very good living and certainly don't need anyone to pay my bills (although all cash donations are accepted...lol). I am very intelligent also and I do look for the same in my partner as I enjoy stimulating conversation. I must admit, tho, I do like to be physically overpowered, but that alone is not enough for me to submit.

PlayfulOne -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 8:22:29 AM)
Not being submissive I can't answer you directly, :). I know my little one needs someone stronger than her. She likes big strong men, but the mental part is even more important. They need to be mentally strong, that doesn't mean stronger or superior to her, just able to handle the situation. She has always pushed and when they showed any sign of weakness she was done and they were out the door. The funny part is she has never tried to push or test me like that. I asked her once why not and she just looked at me and said, "I knew better,". She has said from the first moment we were in the same room she knew how strong I was so there was no need to test and she better behave, lol. K

nicolerose -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 11:00:00 AM)
i don't necessarily need someone stronger than myself, but they need to have a certain inner strength. with it a Dom/me is appealing, and without it i can't see myself submitting to them.

Raethepain -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 11:04:41 AM)
Physically, he doesn't have to be stronger than me. Financially, no. But he has to be wise... It's just something I've always craved. Someone who is intellectually dominant to me. And it's pretty hard to find when you're two marks off MENSA.

meatcleaver -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 11:10:41 AM)
We all submit to Mamon, or just about all of us, that is why we accept a capitalist society. Most subs submit for romantic love if you believe the threads on CM. Read them! Money does play a part in submission or at least to my experience. I'm going through a period of my life where I've had unprecidented financial success (in my own terms) and I've never had so much success with women. I don't think that is pure chance. I am no stronger physically or psychologically but I sense I am damn well perceived to be stronger in both areas.

Quivver -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 11:30:01 AM)
Stronger? naw..........Mentally? that's a 4 sided coin....Financially? Oh F that, I'll starve before I fall to that. I'll submit when a certain Honor and Integrity is time tested. They don't need to be superman, but as you said, I look for those characteristics at levels that meet or exceed my own. Sure I like big strong men, I like intelligent men, and........ I like nice things, but all those things pale in time along with my interest.I'll take back bone and Integrity every time Thank You.

RavenMuse -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 11:30:11 AM)
OK I'm not who you aimed the question at, but since when has that stopped me throwing my opinion into the mix [:D] I've always been the stronger physicaly, 6'2" ex-bouncer, thats pretty much a given. Mentaly, Do you mean inteligence or emotional stability? I've usualy been the more emotionaly stable one, the rock they held onto if the world got crappy..... but I've never gone for emotional fuck-ups, I helped but they always could have stood on their own two feet if they had to. Inteligence, mostly they have been bright, the sort of girl I could discuss metaphysics with as easily as current affairs or what was on at the cinema! Financialy, I'm stable, good with money and even where they have earned more than I it hasn't been an issue. That said, those are mearly looking at those aspects individualy... I've never viewed a girl of mine as weak in any respect (I don't go for weak girls!) and I most certainly don't equate submission with weakness.

zumala -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 12:01:29 PM)
I suppose my perspective may be a little different, but I can't resist adding my two cents. [:D] For anyone who's seen my profile, you already know my situation. For those who haven't, here is a brief rundown. I married before I was really cognizant of being submissive. My husband also feels like he would prefer to be submissive (but he may be able to dominate me, we shall see). We are monogamous. I've come to realize that I wouldn't have married someone that I didn't have great respect for. And I couldn't submit to anyone that I didn't have great respect for. My husband has a lot of traits that I admire. He's also a very smart individual (I think he's probably smarter than I am, but he won't hear me say so). He's stronger than I am, but that's not hard, given my small size. So, yes... I would say that equal or greater intelligence is necessary for me to submit. Being stronger than me physically is a turn on. zuma

slaveladyj -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 12:58:54 PM)
It's funny, but I often feel the reason I need to submit is because I have so much of the control in real life. Everyone always comes to me for everything. Finding someone whom I could respect, who equal or surpassed me in intelligence is difficult. But I would definitely need an intelligent male to dominate me.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 1:01:57 PM)
I think for a while in my teens I submitted because I felt inadequate. I knew that I was better than these guys, but I didn't feel I could do better than them. It wasn't that they were stronger than me in any way, just that I felt like less than I am. I don't know if that makes any sense or not. Now I've grown up a bit, and I'm well-adjusted, so submission has nothing to do with that sort of self-deprecation. I do it now because I enjoy it. I'm the equal of my husband in every way, and I'm happy with that. Edited to add: As for physical strength, if it ever came down to it, I'd be able to take out most of the guys I've dated in a fist fight. Come to think of it, it has come down to that before. I won every time. K.O.! I think my husband would give me a run for my money, and he'd probably win. We're comparable in size. I'm a tall, very strong girl. LOL. I'll admit I like feeling a little weaker than my man, physically.

juliaoceania -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:13:54 PM)
I need to feel I am with someone who is my intellectual equal or superior. In all other traits and characteristics it does not matter much to me if they are less or more talented than myself. People have different characteristics they find "dominant", for some it is economic power, for others it is physical strength, for me it is intellectual. It is the way I am wired. This does not mean I feel "inferior", it is just that I like to have my mind fucked as much as the rest of me fucked, if that makes sense... One cannot fuck my mind unless they are intelligent. My mind is always working on something, and I guess I need someone more intelligent to understand that and help me shut my mind off and just submit? Im not sure. For me D/s is not about inferior, superior, weak, strong... It is a power and control thing. Have you ever heard the expression "Your possessions end up owning you"? it means that those who claim to own another are actually in some ways owned by them....lol. Be careful what you possess, because it ends up possessing you...It is kinda an Asian concept, and goes with the whole Ying Yang thing.

slaverosebeauty -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:21:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Who do you submit to and why? I submit to the man that I believe will not abuse nor make me reconsider my trust. Its a matter of getting along on more than one level. If we cannot get long or have a vanilla conversation, then I cannot and will not submit. quote: Can you only submit to someone you perceive as being stronger than yourself? Physically? Mentally? Financially? Yup. He has to be stronger than I am in some way, or at least be able to calm me down and get me to relax so that his dominance will take over and I can relax into submission and not want that control back. Someone being phsycailly stronger than I am is not a big deal, most men are; its mental, emotional and psychologial that are where true strength and domincance come from. quote: Do you submit because of weakness in some areas of your life and you are looking for someone more competent than yourself in those areas? Submit because they pay your bills? Because they are more intelligent? Nope. I my vanilla life I am very dominate, because I have to be. I am a single mom and I have to be 'take charge' otherwise their would be chaos. At work, I have to maintain control and keep my wits about me. quote: Do you perceive yourself as the "weaker" one of the relationship? Nope. It takes a strong person to give up control to another person. That takes a lot of trust and it's nothing to do lightly or without making sure.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:41:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Can you only submit to someone you perceive as being stronger than yourself? Physically? Mentally? If you mean submission outside of a little bit of kinky sex, then yes. It's one reason I have yet to meet the person I could call master. I take that word rather literally. He will not be my master until he has actually mastered me. I'm pretty damn strong, and finding someone stronger to submit to has been a challenge. quote: Do you submit because of weakness in some areas of your life and you are looking for someone more competent than yourself in those areas? Submit because they pay your bills? Because they are more intelligent? No, I submit because I'm compelled by my nature to do so. But, I'm also compelled by my nature to only allow myself that submissive response when it's healthy for me to do so. And that means someone strong enough, and intelligent enough, to channel my submission wisely. Are there any weak areas in my life I'd like my dom to take charge of? Sure. It would be great if I had someone I could turn my paycheque over to, who would enjoy helping me handle my finances better. I hate dealing with money, but I also know I'll likely never be able to give up complete responsibility that way. Being an adult sucks, sometimes. We all have weaknesses. In any relationship I think duties ahould be shared but wherever possible go to the one who is best at it. I'm also happiest with a partner who cares about my writing, and enjoys helping me find the discipline I need to keep at it, and someday become published. I don't see this as uniquely a submissive thing, really. In any good relationship partners should care about, and support, each other's passions. However, in a D/s relationship that support might just take the form of consequences and deadlines, things that might be perceived as bullying in a vanilla relationship. quote: Do you perceive yourself as the "weaker" one of the relationship? Hmmm, this is a hard one to answer, because I never see myself as weak. Yet, I do crave to be with someone I see as stronger. I suppose it's more a matter of us having different strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other. Good questions, Erin Cin

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:44:00 PM)
I just LOVE the Gumby avatar, PlayfulOne!!! So domly!!

OhBeMyMind -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:44:44 PM)
He is stronger than I am, mentally and physically. He is more intelligent that I am, in that he has been more places and experienced more things. When he speaks of the places he has been, his job, etc. he holds my attention, doesn't matter that my insides are a mushy pile of jello and my breath feels caught in my throat. Imagine the mess I am when we are doing more than having casual conversations. LOL I do not ever see myself being able to submit to someone I felt was weaker than I, less intelligent than I, and especially if they are not mentally stronger than I am....what would be the point? However those are not the only things I look for either.....I mean he could be all of those things and still be a lieing, thieving, low-down scumbag....how attractive is that? Sooooooo, to the question "Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself?" My answer is: yes.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:52:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania My mind is always working on something, and I guess I need someone more intelligent to understand that and help me shut my mind off and just submit? Oh, can I relate to this!! A man who can shut my brain down earns some pretty undying devotion from me!! And a lot of men think all it would take is a gag for my mouth, how mistaken they are! Cin

BitaTruble -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:58:19 PM)
I submit to Himself who was able to take my power with the second sentence he ever spoke to me. I didn't know anything about him other than what I had from second hand information from a mutual friend and I take such information with a grain of salt and a heavy dose of skepticism. In areas other than physical strength, we are fairly comparable, but those things were discovered afterwards and merely solidified what my inner slave figured out long before my brain did. Celeste

impishlilhellcat -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 2:58:46 PM)
With my previous Master he was much stronger than I. That was one of my favorite things about him. When I felt weak he was strong and I felt so safe and comfortable being able to lean upon him. I do feel that I was the weak one in the relationship. I don't think I could submit to someone who was weaker than I am.

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