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Sinergy -> RE: Can you only submit to one stronger than yourself? (5/13/2006 3:22:35 PM)
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Hello A/all,
I have never met anybody I felt I wanted to / trusted enough to submit to, and since my proclivities seem to lie with the other side of the flogger, Im not sure how much help I can be on this thread.
However, the problem I have with this question is the use of the word "stronger."
How does one define that word? Physically, I have been a martial arts and self defense instructor since college. The man who trained me once said that the best approach to doing this is using the "iron fist in a velvet glove" approach. He was never discourteous or unkind to anybody, yet by his mannerisms and demeanor it was obvious that he was the one in charge in the room. I have been told by many that I seem to have that trait as well.
Intellectually, I work a job I could train a monkey to do. I read incessantly and tend to prefer to read things which expand my horizons or are outside my comfort zone. My most recent book was a dissertation on chaos theory as it applies to natural selection. I want to go back to graduate school to finish my PhD in a few years, and perhaps be a visiting professor at a university. I have seldom met people I considered more intelligent than I am, and I treasure those I know who seem as intelligent as I am.
Financially, the last few years have been tough for me. I had a good run in computers topping out over six figures a year, but then the industry died. But being me, I always had a backup plan and now my backup plan is my primary job. The only real limit to how much I make on the job I currently have is how much I am willing to work at it. Since I enjoy working, I will probably make six figures this year.
I do not generally perceive submissives as being "weaker," per se, than I am. I think the dynamic at work in the relationship is not really a question of strength: As in, I am more powerful than she is therefore she must be weaker and more frail. I stand in awe of a person who can willingly allow themselves to be tied up, beaten, etc., by another person. I personally think the dynamic is more about who has needs which demand that they be in control, and these needs being met by somebody whose needs demand that they not be in control.
I think there is a synchronicity at work in the D/s dynamic.
So to answer the question asked, I think what is required to submit to somebody is the desire and the willingness to submit to that person, and who is "stronger" has little to do with it. I have met any number of submissives who were emotionally and intellectually stronger than those Dominating them. Yet within their dynamic, a D/s relationship was in play.
Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.
Sinergy
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