RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting upset.

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RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/29/2011 4:46:26 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Despite whatever issues the OP has, she is still 30 and not 18.

Even if she lives at home for any reason, which is not the topic here, the one thing I keep hearing in all her threads is a profound lack of maturity and an edge of sub frenzy.

By age 30, you have developed some common sense, if not the tools to deal with everything life throws at you.

If someone comes here to ask question like this, then I find common sense lacking to a high degree.

Even if you want to learn about BDSM and are new to it, this is not a BDSM question.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 5/29/2011 4:48:04 PM >

(in reply to PhilSlave)

Post #: 61

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/29/2011 4:54:40 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

@ the OP.....
I am very offended at the way you insinuated that Lady Pact is a bitch. You should count yourself honored and privledged that a wise and wonderful woman such as Lady Pact is even spending her time attempting to help you. Having said that: I notice that you have nicely evaded the question of how it is that you are 30 years old and still living with your parents. Whether you were raped or not is really none of my business. What is my business is when you pull out the Victim card as though it thereby absolves you from all responsibility!! Furthermore, I was going to offer you some tips, pointers, etc. on how to get your needs met and find your next relationship and finding your healthy boundaries while maintaining safety for yourself. And then I looked at your profile and you categorize yourself as a switch!!

My advice to you is to take some time away from collar me for a while..... take some time away from relationships....specifically bdsm type relationships.....get yourself into some therapy!!

If you don't the results won't be pretty.....The results will be something along the lines of you meeting some douchbag off of here and him convincing you to come to his house and you going there where he rapes, beats and otherwise assualts you.... And the police have to bust down the door to get you out.

Been there done that.

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to PhilSlave)

Post #: 62

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/29/2011 5:53:21 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Ok, look, when you came to this site to find a partner and include some BDSM activity in your life it didn't mean you dropped your responsibility for yourself at the door for someone...anyone...to pick up and carry on. You are in charge of the direction of your life and your own actions no matter what orientation you check off on a form.

You have a life, there are responsibilities in that life...things like work and family. Not everyone you meet that calls themself a Dom or Master is actually worthy of that designation. YOU decide if they are ready to be entrusted with guiding you after you get to know them better. Take your time, sometimes a person's true colors don't show right away.

If the person in charge asks you to do things that would endanger your job, family, or living situation then they do not deserve to be in charge. This man asking you to carry on in a sexual manner while in close proximity to your family and complains when you don't...it should be obvious, dump his sorry ass. He doesn't deserve to be entrusted with your care if that's how he rolls. What if your relationship with your family is strained or weird by them hearing you masturbate and cry? What if they ask you to find a different living situation...is he going to be there to pick up the pieces and help you out with that? I'd say probably not. A Dominant would try to think ahead to see what they were asking you to do and the possible repercussions of that act and if it was still wise to do it.

My youngest son is home from college for the summer, it's putting a crimp in my personal life. This boy was supposed to work all day today and the man in my life was supposed to come over for a day of wild make-up sex and fun. The boy went in to work and was home 10 min later, he got the times wrong and didn't need to be there for 4 more hours. The man had already left home for my house, it's a 1 1/2 hour drive here. Did he get angry with me when he got here and saw that my son's car was still here....? No. Did he insist when he got here that we have sex with my son in the house (sleeping upstairs).....? No. He told me we were going to fix the broken light in my bathroom, which we did, then we had lunch with a friend, and then went home for the wild sex because the son was at work by then. It was an awesome day.

My Dom tells me that my family comes first and he'll be here waiting for me after my responsibilities with them are done for the day/week/whatever. He also tells me school comes first and he'll be here when I'm done studying. He is also fond of telling me that my future job comes first and he'll be there when I get home. Are you sensing a pattern? He knows that my life is not all centered around him and that I have responsibilities outside of him. I know that too. In the end it's nice that he says these things but I would never let things with him take precedence in any area that they don't belong in. I actually can't stand it when a submissive or slave sits back and says that their Master said to do it this way so they can't help it if they didn't do the right thing.

You said you stated your boundaries, that's not enough. You have to stand by them too. Its very simple, if someone can't understand that, then there isn't anything more to talk about with him.

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 63

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/29/2011 7:18:34 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LikesEmYoungNHng

i live with family and over the phone it is hard for me to please my Teacher. (my Daddy)

he wants me to call and cum for him while i cry, but i cant do that living under a roof that is not mine, i must respect my family but how can i do that while i am in training?

If you can't, you can't... and if he can't deal with it, then move on to someone who can. Period.

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 64

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/29/2011 7:28:06 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LikesEmYoungNHng

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

You tell him that it's not possible while at home, and explain why.

If you can find somewhere else you CAN do it, then let him know in advance.

If he continues to push it, then maybe it's time for some hard thinking on your part.

i have told him time and again, yet he's always telling me that i am not TRYING hard enough. i even started to cry and took a pic and sent it to him to help him...

i guess i could go in the car and drive to a secluded area and help him but when he wants it now he gets so frustrated.

i do want to please him. but maybe i need someone more open to communicate and a bit more understanding.........

I'm sorry to sound so judgmental, but seriously, he sounds like a big spoiled, self-centered baby. If he can't understand your situation at this stage of the game, and you two haven't even met, how is the relationship going to be when (if) it moves to real time?

Just my opinion, but I'd dump him now since things haven't gotten to the meeting stage yet. Tell him that since he can't understand your situation, you have to end things. I would almost bet money that he will have one of two reactions: he will either accuse you of not being truly submissive/serious or he will suddenly be very willing to work things out with you. But I'm leaning towards the former reaction.

I haven't read all of the other posts, so I'm sure others have stated similar comments.

Good luck! You can find better.

Edited to correct a typo. Damn I hate those! :D

< Message edited by DeviantlyD -- 5/29/2011 7:42:42 PM >

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 65

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/29/2011 7:31:40 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Wait. You're thirty and living at home? Do you have a disability? Did you lose your job in a cutback? Is there some issue that doesn't allow you to understand mature, human relationships? Please do tell Me what the problem is that you aren't being a grown adult here. You'll have to excuse Me, but I am not seeing why a thirty year old woman doesn't have the common sense that God gave a rock to even have to ask this ridiculous crap.

LadyP, please don't hold back on your thoughts here! :D

I'm sorry for the irreverence, but this post was funny. ;)

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 66

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/29/2011 7:36:29 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LikesEmYoungNHng

so sorry lady pact for being new about this and not knowing.

not everyone was born a bitch.

I get that you have no real life experience in kink/BDSM/etc. but what Lady Pact is saying is that you don't have to give up your common sense, just because you're interested in exploring your submissive nature within a relationship. I get the idea of wanting to please, but don't let it override your common sense. I'm almost certain this guy you've been talking to on the phone is using this as a way to get off and he's less interested in the dom/sub dynamic and all it entails.

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 67

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 4:46:43 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

I've read the thread, and I've got the solution to your problem. Just cut the following and paste it into an email to your beau..

-----------

Dear [Insert Beau's name here]

I'm trying hard to be a good and obedient partner for you, but despite my explaining, many times, that there are some times when it simply isn't possible for me to drop everything and help you get your rocks off, you seem to be unable to understand.

So, I think you might just be too stupid to be my Dom.

So I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to snag me the kind of Dom that is capable of exerting a scintilla of self control, in the mean-time you can fuck off.

You Jackass.

-----------

There ya go. Sorted.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 68

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 4:59:34 AM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

*LMAO*

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 69

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 5:32:47 AM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

Good to see America has great parenting.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 70

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 7:01:40 AM

calamitysandra

Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline

Completely off topic, but regardless of how you came to be on moderation, the new avatar you choose for it is hilarious.

_____________________________

"Whenever people are laughing, they are generally not killing one another"
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(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 71

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 7:28:23 AM

imperatrixx

Posts: 903
Joined: 3/29/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LikesEmYoungNHng
i need to take my blinders off. i think all men will love me then i get hurt....

The second line in your profile is "call me a slut."

Your pics are either in lingerie or of your naked butt.

Your friends list is naked women and guys with cock shots.

And your description of guys you're attracted to is not only purely physical (pretty and fit) but also sexual (thick/hung).

What exactly are you expecting here? Seriously.

< Message edited by imperatrixx -- 5/30/2011 7:34:48 AM >

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 72

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 8:08:23 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imperatrixx

The second line in your profile is "call me a slut."

Your pics are either in lingerie or of your naked butt.

Your friends list is naked women and guys with cock shots.

And your description of guys you're attracted to is not only purely physical (pretty and fit) but also sexual (thick/hung).

What exactly are you expecting here? Seriously.

Yeah, I'd have to chime in with this same thought. OP, you say you think men will 'love' you and then you get hurt - news flash, the type of man attracted by your photos, suggestive text, and what you say you want, isn't necessarily looking for love. You are yourself making the whole thing about sex to begin with, not something loftier. That's fine, but the men that you are getting in response to your particular search aren't the cream of the crop for a love relationship then. It's not their fault really....you present yourself as being focused on sex. It's a fair guess to say that the men who respond to an ad for sex will be interested in sex and perhaps nothing more.

Look for better quality and you may get it, or keep looking for cock size as a primary concern and then settle for a guy who wants you to do inappropriate things to get him off. Believe it or not that's not a dig at you at all....you're perfectly entitled to look for cock size, but then don't be surprised when the person that you find may put sex at the front of his own personal agenda and not give a flying fuck about your family or your concerns.

I had to say something about the training thing too....i know it's personal hot button for me, but this word in D/s is used in some stupid ways. Training pretty much means you do what he says as long as it doesn't violate a hard limit. Dominants who talk about it as some real skill set that you have to acquire in order to submit come across to me as HNG's. That could have been a clue as to this particular guy's skill level when he said you'd need to be trained. I'm not really criticizing him because everyone starts as a newbie, but realize what you're getting and maybe you won't be too surprised when he acts new.

It keeps coming back to you and your own responsibility here. What are you looking for and what are you getting? What should you do to get what you want? How does that mesh with the person you are considering and what they want? This guy seems to have been upfront with what he wanted...he wanted someone to get him off whenever he felt like it. If that didn't work for you then you are responsible for attracting another type of person and/or stopping things when they don't work for you. I agree with imperiatrixx...look at the message that you are putting out there about yourself and then don't be disingenuous when people take you at your word.

(in reply to imperatrixx)

Post #: 73

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 9:05:18 AM

LikesEmYoungNHng

Posts: 68
Joined: 5/24/2011
From: In My Place
Status: offline

lol

_____________________________

"No woman truly knows what she is, until she has worn a collar."- author unknown

"Only a life lived in the service to others is worth living."-Albert Einstein

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 74

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 9:09:44 AM

VideoAdminTheta

Posts: 3967
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline

The personal attacks that I have seen on this thread are being left for a couple of reasons I will not get into. However, if there are any further personal attacks, they will be removed and letters will be sent as well as any further action that must be taken.

Please consider what you are posting before you cannot take it back.

Thank you

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 75

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/30/2011 5:35:32 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

By age 30, you have developed some common sense

Really? Damn, I guess I was too stoned the day that was supposed to happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F15thKUEECQ

< Message edited by Arpig -- 5/30/2011 5:40:32 PM >

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 76

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/31/2011 8:44:32 AM

KnotYerRomeo

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/20/2011
From: Texas
Status: offline

::::::: Sniff Sniff Sniff::::::: I smell a troll.... She/He Yankin Ya'lls chains? "And a child shall lead them"..around by th nose? Does anybody know her real time?

< Message edited by KnotYerRomeo -- 5/31/2011 8:54:00 AM >

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 77

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/31/2011 8:55:18 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

By age 30, you have developed some common sense
Really? Damn, I guess I was too stoned the day that was supposed to happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F15thKUEECQ

That video was cute. Seriously, no matter how stoned anyone was, by age 30 some common sense has been injected; even by osmosis.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 78

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/31/2011 9:12:51 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

This thread is still going on? Srsly?

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 79

RE: i have stated my boundaries, yet He keeps getting u... - 5/31/2011 6:23:22 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

whats it tell you about long distance relationships?

(in reply to LikesEmYoungNHng)

Post #: 80

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