RE: A questions for female dommes about messages...

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (Full Version)

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YSG -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/7/2011 8:52:33 PM)
LP, there were alot of people that were nice to me. There were also alot of people that knocked me around, so to speak (and there were times I deserved to be). What Im saying is, this guy asked what I would think is a harmless question. Im just saying, compare him to the wreck I was 5 years ago.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/7/2011 8:55:07 PM)
Now who's being mean? Just kidding, sweetie. :) Dumb questions are dumb questions.

LadyPact -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/8/2011 12:50:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YSG LP, there were alot of people that were nice to me. There were also alot of people that knocked me around, so to speak (and there were times I deserved to be). What Im saying is, this guy asked what I would think is a harmless question. Im just saying, compare him to the wreck I was 5 years ago. I don't suppose it's occurred to you that the above might just be a part of that? There are a few guys on these boards who can tell you that they were a bit clueless when they first came here, went through some rough patches when they were in the newbie stages, and grew because of it. The mail subject has been done to death around here. It's in the FAQ, the Help section, and there is enough material for a person to read for days through the search feature. We can't clobber people enough with, "yes, that really, really is how the mail thing goes around here" if we did it with a real club. I'm not saying that a person shouldn't ask. However, when we continue to say the same thing for year after year, it may sound that we're impatient on the subject because we've answered the same thing repeatedly. However, in this case, I do think the vibe from the other thread came onto this one. I might have reacted the same way.

LadyConstanze -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/8/2011 5:33:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SensualSub27 Lady C, I was just browsing through the forums and have noticed that a) You reply to a lot of threads (well I randomly looked at 3, and you replied in each occasion) and b) your messages are always so condescending, angry, and judgemental. If a male sub is going to use one of these website, to hopefully find a like minded partner, it would be perfectly reasonable to ask if female dommes are getting their inboxes flooded daily by other wannabe subs. If female dommes are getting flooded it means that there is very little chance that they will even bother to read your message, let alone reply. You could be a perfect match, a completely genuine guy who would fulfill what she is looking for, but the fact that most will be getting so many messages makes it pointless. I have seen many profiles where the domme has written "don't be upset if I do not reply to you, I get thousands of messages a day". I think that the OP wanted to know if there are women out there who do not get that many messages, and whether they respond to any. If you are going to use a website, it is perfectly proper to know the state of play. We know that women don't respond to the douchebags that write stupid messages with grammatical errors, or are clearly looking for a cheap thrill. The point is that the potential of these websites is ruined bya lot of factors, mainly that female Dommes get flooded with messages. Other factors include women who are in it for money, or just a bit of attention seeking, and men pretending to be women. The people who also baffle me are the forum posters like Lady C. They are "not looking for anyone" apparently, which begs the question "why are you even on this site". You must have a fulfilling relationship. If I was in a BDSM relationship, I would not be on this website. Further, what is the point of your comments? If you do not want to answer the question, then ignore it. I think that you value your opinion far too much, when it doesn't really have any substance to it. He was also looking for responses from Dommes that are on here "looking" for a sub. You could have answered with something a bit more sensible, like the poster who stated that she filtered out the obviously sad cases. I'm not sure how his post could have offended you, but from your posts, it seems that you like to take offence to everything, and make a meal out of it. It's called the "alternative" lifestyle for more than one reason, and your attitude just seems very "vanilla". I would have serious doubts as to whether you were genuine. Oh hello sockpuppet, if you would have taken the time and looked at threads, I take the time to help people who have genuine questions. If my opinion has value for you or not, I simply couldn't care less, as for me being vanilla, believe what you want, and the fact that I don't treat CM as a meat market obviously makes me vanilla? I guess if you ever should get lucky and find somebody, you will stop interacting with people? Now if you would have looked a bit further, the guy was looking for people to do real time with, I suggested where he could find them and the answer was "You wanna do real time with me?" I still replied politely, and apparently I ceased to exist - well, isn't that the equivalent of a girl in a bar only talking to you if she wants a drink? How happy would that make you? Now Syl answered more eloquent than I did... (Thanks Syl), so why waste more precious keystrokes on an obvious sockpuppet...

lthrpup -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 4:43:15 PM)
Amen. Thank you, Nanako. Every thread is littered with a slew of responses denying the premise of the question. If you don't like the topic, then try to clarify it or STFU! The message boards are practically unusable for all the irrelevant posts that basically amount to "I have nothing to add to this subject but I can't keep my fingers of the goddam keyboard."

LadyPact -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 4:59:54 PM)
In other words, no better or worse than someone who wants to contribute to the thread just to complain about the way the people responded to it?

lthrpup -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 5:25:44 PM)
Here's another novel suggestion for dominant women whose inboxes are inundated by idiots: Send an email to someone that interests you. If you are sick of sifting through a hundred useless emails a day/week/month, the simple way to make an email stand out is for it to appear as a response to one you sent. I received one message that simply said "tell me about you" from a woman I had previously noticed but never wrote to because I did not think we were compatible based on my evaluation of her profile. Apparently, she thought differently and took the initiative, which by the way, is not something unreasonable to expect of a dominant person. She tossed off a one-liner of the sort that would have been regarded as treachery if it was sent by a submissive man to a woman. Instead of being offended, I was thrilled to get it. Very little effort on her part, a lot work on my part to compose a worthy response. Ultimately, nothing came of our exchange but at least it mirrored the dynamic we were both pursuing (she commands, I burn some calories obeying). I have to believe she enjoyed her week on CM much better than if she had received nothing from a responsive, respectful guy like me and was left solely with the mountain of emails from assholes whose method of communicating with women is modeled after spam.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 5:30:29 PM)
Have you actually left the house and gotten experience then? Good for you.

lthrpup -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 5:32:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact In other words, no better or worse than someone who wants to contribute to the thread just to complain about the way the people responded to it? No. I was not complaining about the way people responded to a thread. I was precisely complaining about the people who do not respond to the thread and instead shit on it at the same time they sidestep the question.

LadyPact -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 5:36:12 PM)
Which is a nice suggestion that people make often. Whether they choose to take up on it is up to them. (I'm not the type to do so because I've always had more than enough mail.) It really doesn't change the volume of the incoming mail that you still don't want. You responded positively, but that doesn't mean it couldn't have come back to the tune of....... well, the rest of the crap we don't want. People need to understand that some of us are on the site who aren't looking for anything. We're here for the social side of the forums. Believe Me when I say that doesn't change how much mail a person gets.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:01:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lthrpup If you don't like the topic, then try to clarify it or STFU! The message boards are practically unusable for all the irrelevant posts that basically amount to "I have nothing to add to this subject but I can't keep my fingers of the goddam keyboard." Kinda like this one. Didn't we do this song and dance already? Maybe you need a refresher course. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3708224

PeonForHer -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:12:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lthrpup I received one message that simply said "tell me about you" from a woman I had previously noticed but never wrote to because I did not think we were compatible based on my evaluation of her profile. Apparently, she thought differently and took the initiative, which by the way, is not something unreasonable to expect of a dominant person. She tossed off a one-liner of the sort that would have been regarded as treachery if it was sent by a submissive man to a woman. Instead of being offended, I was thrilled to get it. Why were you thrilled? Me, when I've got cmails like that, I've just deleted them. What I've advised sub males to do regarding contacting Dommes, I absolutely require of Dommes contacting me, too. If I see just the line, 'Tell me about yourself', I just think, 'Why? You've not shown me anything human that I'd want to talk to.'

LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:18:25 PM)
And that's one of your many fine qualities, Darling!

lthrpup -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:24:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan quote: ORIGINAL: lthrpup If you don't like the topic, then try to clarify it or STFU! The message boards are practically unusable for all the irrelevant posts that basically amount to "I have nothing to add to this subject but I can't keep my fingers off the goddam keyboard." Kinda like this one. Didn't we do this song and dance already? Maybe you need a refresher course. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3708224 The original post in its entirety: quote: "I've seen that a lot of female dommes and mistresses complain about how they are 'flooded' with messages... So i just wanted to ask any female dommes on here, how many messages would you say you receive from subs a day? I'm just curious really I'm a male sub btw, and i almost always have to message the mistress first haha :p A useful response to that original post would be one of the following: a. a number b. a number with some commentary c. an artful redirection of the topic to something more likely to lead to an exchange of ideas Not useful: a. insults b. condemnation that the topic can not possible be addressed (in most threads the rationale for this is that everything is subjective; in this thread it was ludicrously claimed to be inappropriate) Really? The reason I am arguing is that too often I click on a thread with a promising title and have to read a bunch of non-responsive -- and therefore irrelevant -- replies. I suppose this disappointment might approximate the experience of being a dominant woman who has to waste her time scanning, screening and deleting a lot of rubbish email.

PeonForHer -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:24:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus And that's one of your many fine qualities, Darling! What, that I don't put up with nutty women? [;)] Actually, it's rare that I've got a cmail like that. Most women seem to know how to be friendly and human even with just a few words. But if I have got a 'tell me about yourself' . . . I've just felt sad, more than anything else. It's made me wince and think, 'Oh, don't do that. It's silly and it's not real'.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:26:14 PM)
Well yes, that you have an idea of your own worth as a person and a man, and don't leap at every tidbit of bait. It's really an attractive quality.

PeonForHer -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:27:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Well yes, that you have an idea of your own worth as a person and a man, and don't leap at every tidbit of bait. It's really an attractive quality. Thank you, Lady Hib.:-)

LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:29:23 PM)
You're quite welcome, Darling! This doesn't count as banter, does it? I can't keep the rules straight anymore...

ModTwentyOne -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:36:12 PM)
Taking others to task for the way they are responding on a thread amounts to off topic posts. Please stop.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:43:24 PM)
Sorry, 21, I posted before I saw yours.

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