RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (Full Version)

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lthrpup -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 6:56:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: lthrpup
I received one message that simply said "tell me about you" from a woman I had previously noticed but never wrote to because I did not think we were compatible based on my evaluation of her profile. Apparently, she thought differently and took the initiative, which by the way, is not something unreasonable to expect of a dominant person. She tossed off a one-liner of the sort that would have been regarded as treachery if it was sent by a submissive man to a woman. Instead of being offended, I was thrilled to get it.


Why were you thrilled? Me, when I've got cmails like that, I've just deleted them. What I've advised sub males to do regarding contacting Dommes, I absolutely require of Dommes contacting me, too. If I see just the line, 'Tell me about yourself', I just think, 'Why? You've not shown me anything human that I'd want to talk to.'

Perhaps 'thrilled' was an overstatement, but I was happy to receive the message and reply because the person was local and not some spammer from the other side of the world.

Also, I get very few messages, so I do not feel put-upon to answer someone who -- although she did not say anything to indicate she was familiar with the content of my profile -- obviously was aware of my existence and had some legitimacy as a potential correspondent because she was located less than ten miles away.

Another factor is that my demeanor as a submissive includes a lot of passivity and my history is one of responding to the dominant/alpha/pursuer/initiator/penetrator/etc. I find it reasonable to be domineered by those I encounter in my search to be dominated. My impression from various comments around CM (and other places) is that submissive men are a dime a dozen, so why not take a risk when approached by someone who is plausible.

As a group, I don't know how lowly sub men are nor how much mail they receive because I have only experienced my own in-box. Maybe it would be interesting to start a thread asking sub men how much mail they get. Hmm... maybe it would be interesting to ask the same thing of dominant women. Some might share interesting information and those who find it too personal a question are free to NOT RESPOND.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 7:00:12 PM)

Lthrpup, you haven't posted much, so let me clue you in: this is the internet. Not only do you not control it, but you don't get to dictate who posts, or what the content of those posts is. Want control? Try Livejournal.



LadyPact -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 7:04:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lthrpup
A useful response to that original post would be one of the following:
a. a number
b. a number with some commentary
c. an artful redirection of the topic to something more likely to lead to an exchange of ideas

Not useful:
a. insults
b. condemnation that the topic can not possible be addressed (in most threads the rationale for this is that everything is subjective; in this thread it was ludicrously claimed to be inappropriate)

Really? The reason I am arguing is that too often I click on a thread with a promising title and have to read a bunch of non-responsive -- and therefore irrelevant -- replies. I suppose this disappointment might approximate the experience of being a dominant woman who has to waste her time scanning, screening and deleting a lot of rubbish email.

I can promise you that the numbers don't match.  When I was in California, I still averaged ten emails a day from people who don't participate in the forums.  I've gotten more peace and quiet since I've moved.  Before the spam filter, it was a lot worse than that.  I've literally proven that a new profile can receive over seventy messages in less than twenty-four hours.  And guess what?  I'm middle aged, married, and overweight.  My profile here has got as much on it to discourage folks who are seeking from contacting Me.  I still received two emails since My last post.

As I said in My first post here, the numbers really do fluctuate due to a lot of factors.  I could go check the box that says "seeking submissive males" and I would go back to at least five or ten messages a day.  By the way, that average goes up during the holidays (it's called the "holiday effect by OKCupid and you can find a post on the General board through the search feature from a post that I created about it last holiday season), if I do a demo or attend a major event, and other variables.  It's not like we can go back to count to get you a "number" because most of it, I block, and then hit the 'mark as spam and delete' button.



lthrpup -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 7:15:45 PM)

Thank you, LadyPact. That information was interesting and something I would never have known if you did not take a little time to address the thread with some relevant commentary about the topic. Thanks again.



LadyPact -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 7:17:47 PM)

Not an issue.  I've said it probably on a hundred threads in the past.  I've been saying it for over four years.



SexyBossyBBW -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/9/2011 7:18:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ryansub1
So i just wanted to ask any female dommes on here, how many messages would you say you receive from subs a day?
Ryansub1, this question is a lot like your guy friend asking you in front of many other guys: "how many digits/girls have you scored, or are you still a virgin?" I don't think what goes into anyone's mailbox ought to be your business, unless the person wants to share that of his/her own free will.

Don't believe the hype about numbers; if most of what we got in inboxes, were worthwile, or really what we sought, none of the decent, or indecent people for that matter (especially fem doms), people here would ever be single. Granting, we are particular; and like many, I'd rather be single, than go for one of the however many emails I get/week. M



MsMillgrove -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/10/2011 12:57:58 AM)

Ithrup said: Here's another novel suggestion for dominant women whose inboxes are inundated by idiots: Send an email to someone that interests you. If you are sick of sifting through a hundred useless emails a day/week/month, the simple way to make an email stand out is for it to appear as a response to one you sent'

I got a lot of idiot mail, politely acknowledging it sucked up a lot of time. A few times I wrote to someone with a definate purpose--got terrific replies, met them real life. Wonderful experiences and outcomes. Still have them all in ongoing relationships. So it does work for those who might be here for more than posting with friends on the forum. Choosing for yourself as a domme seems to have superb payoffs.

On the other hand, the level of bombardment online, in person-- everytime you peek out the door, physical or virtual--that level is astounding and exhuasting. I get so tired of listening politely to the same drivel. After years of it, you figure out how to cope, help a few people, try to lower the blood pressure. It's daunting. I think most males, especially newer subs, have no idea How tiring it is to shovel this continual snowstorm of bs.



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/10/2011 3:45:38 AM)

quote:

If I see just the line, 'Tell me about yourself', I just think, 'Why? You've not shown me anything human that I'd want to talk to.'
[sm=wave.gif]I know what you should do about those sorts of messages!

Write a long involved bio, starting from birth and dwelling on minute uninteresting details of your life. Drag it out for page after page, so by page 20 you've reached age 7 or 8. Break it up into 2 page chunks, and when you get a "tell me about you" message, you just start firing back messages filled with boring uninteresting childhood trivia. Keep it up till they start coming back Deleted Unread.



sunshinemiss -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/10/2011 4:21:19 AM)

I can't help but notice that in this thread you are not in fact mirroring the dynamic that you are persuing.  Interesting.





LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/10/2011 7:38:27 AM)

It's his modus operandi IRL too, Sunny. We femdoms have looooong memories.



lthrpup -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/11/2011 5:40:14 PM)

IRL? have we met in person? I'm sure i would remember.



PeonForHer -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/11/2011 7:17:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

If I see just the line, 'Tell me about yourself', I just think, 'Why? You've not shown me anything human that I'd want to talk to.'
[sm=wave.gif]I know what you should do about those sorts of messages!

Write a long involved bio, starting from birth and dwelling on minute uninteresting details of your life. Drag it out for page after page, so by page 20 you've reached age 7 or 8. Break it up into 2 page chunks, and when you get a "tell me about you" message, you just start firing back messages filled with boring uninteresting childhood trivia. Keep it up till they start coming back Deleted Unread.


Heh. Thanks for that ace suggestion. *Chortle*.

I could send a job application I did recently. (Crucial details changed, though, natch)



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/11/2011 7:20:28 PM)

Someone sent me his resume once, Peon! You never kn ow :)



MissEmery -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/13/2011 12:38:33 AM)

I have 14 pages of mail from subs. I have an additional 10 pages in the bulk mail spam folder (most are out of town - by several states).

I joined around February and I have deleted numerous emails.

I am considering a local speed dating event for Dommes/subs to avoid sifting through the mail.



ReginaMirus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/13/2011 7:42:38 AM)

My gf and I have also considered organizing this. Sadly, the vast majority of subs never make it through the initial filtering process (not local, not single, no transportation, no job, etc). Of the ones that do, those become no shows. We do have other dominants interested in a "speed dating" meet, but we'd all just be sitting there staring at each other, listening to the crickets in the background.

We really do organize realtime lifestyle events, but sadly this would be a waste of time.



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