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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:00:46 AM   
DesFIP


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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		She was playing you. She's found someone else to move in with. Be grateful she did, because normal people don't offer to move in with guys they've never met.

And if you were willing to drive 8 hours to Michigan, you ought to be up to an hour or so to DC. Look for jobs closer to there. You can send money home if you move. Explore where the strongest building boom in the country is, and consider moving there. Your parents will understand. And you can cam with them and your little sister.


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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:01:50 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Next time someone wants to visit you, say yes. Just snuggle at home, and beat her ass in the woods or the back of the car.

Ditto, perhaps this is the one true lesson of this story.

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:03:09 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Good grief i just read the last post also, --- you don't have her address?  What Whiplash said, you haven't sent her anything not even a card?  She was in the hospital for A MONTH and you didn't send her flowers, a teddy bear, a card, take out NOTHING?  Geesh dude. 

You know something doesn't sound right from BOTH ends here.  So again, i would chalk it up to a lesson learned and learn from your OWN mistakes and move on.  I would get a new job however, using never having any money to meet someone would get old really fast for many women.


angel

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:09:37 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

I tried calling several times, but she never answered. One day she wrote me after I called and said I had to stop doing that. She said I got her in trouble and the nurses were taking her cell phone away because of the noise the ringer was making. It was a disturbance.
Not to beat a dead horse...but this says it all. Hospital rooms have phones. Hospital rooms have phones that ring. I cannot see the staff taking her cell because the ringing was a disturbance. That is ridiculous.

I seriously doubt there ever was a hospitalization. She didn't want you to call because she was involved with someone else.




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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:16:24 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

She was in the hospital for A MONTH and you didn't send her flowers, a teddy bear, a card, take out NOTHING? Geesh dude.
Not all of us are superficial. Flowers die, teddy bears are for little ones and while cards are nice, i prefer the sentiment be expressed verbally. Any bozo can shop at Hallmark...

My husband never sent flowers, cards or gifts when we were dating, and i was fine with that. I had his heart and there is nothing more precious or valuable than that.


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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:16:28 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
quote:

I tried calling several times, but she never answered. One day she wrote me after I called and said I had to stop doing that. She said I got her in trouble and the nurses were taking her cell phone away because of the noise the ringer was making. It was a disturbance.
Not to beat a dead horse...but this says it all. Hospital rooms have phones. Hospital rooms have phones that ring. I cannot see the staff taking her cell because the ringing was a disturbance. That is ridiculous.

I seriously doubt there ever was a hospitalization. She didn't want you to call because she was involved with someone else.

I noticed this red flag too. I was in the hospital once for 21 days and nobody told me I had to get off the phone. Hell, I even had TV with a remote and other things. Something is very off about this.

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:24:54 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Oh good grief Holly it has nothing to do with being superficial, get off your high horse... Its about livening up a hospital room they are in for a month.  Its about asking them what you can send them if you aren't close that would make their stay easier, just like you BRING stuff many times when you visit people in the hospital..  he was typing to her for god sakes, he never once thought to send a woman he loves who is in the hospital flowers?  You do realize people CAN do both.  Usually when someone is in the hospital, if i am close i not only go visit them but i send them flowers to cheer up the hospital room.  Umm yes they die, and yes the stuff i send is usually for their STAY only not something i expect them to keep forever.  If i am not close i TALK to them on the phone as well as send stuff, ESPECIALLY if they are in the damn hospital for a month. If i am not  It doesn't have to be an either OR thing as you obviously think it does.

Good grief Holly quit being so sanctimonious.  You give your kid gifts don't you -- are you superficial?

angel

I do agree it sounds fishy but it's hard to imagine anyone who loves someone who is 100s of miles away not asking for a hospital name so he can send her something during a prolonged stay. 

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 6/4/2011 5:26:42 AM >

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:29:21 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

he never once thought to send a woman he loves who is in the hospital flowers? You do realize people CAN do both.
Oh put a sock in it Barely.

Of course i realize people can do both.

Do YOU realize some of us do not expect both? Try it sometime.


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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:37:32 AM   
Darrc


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Status: offline 		Easy ladies, I wasn't trying to start a fight.

Angel, I most definitely would have sent flowers. Several times if I had only known where she was staying. I typed to her friend and asked at least 10 times the name of the hospital. Never got a name. Never got an address. For 8 days after her friend said she would keep me updated, I didn't get word one. Nothing.

That's when I typed that I was starting to get pissed. And her friend "magically" responded to that message. Said she wouldn't tell me anything anymore. She said the reason she didn't respond to me for the eight days was she left my girl's phone in the hospital room and they doctor wasn't letting anyone in to see her at all because she was unconscious.

So, the night I asked her friend to keep in contact with me, and she said yes, she must have very intelligently left the phone in the room, where she wouldn't have access to it. Doesn't make a lick of sense, I know.

I was getting ticked because I couldn't do something as simple as send her a gift. I definitely would have.

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:44:43 AM   
sirsholly


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From: Quietville
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quote:

You give your kid gifts don't you -- are you superficial?
Giving a gift makes one superficial?

Please look up the meaning of the word. On-line dictionaries are your friends...


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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:47:05 AM   
barelynangel


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Status: offline 		Well Holly you said -- Some of us aren't that superficial, you bitched about sending flowers, sending a teddybear etc.  So if sending any of that which are gifts in a way to someone in the hospital, then by reason anyone who gives gifts must be superficial.  You said it Holly, not me.  YOU are the one who read into my post Holly.  But its not about what i said here you have issues with you and we both know it.

But i think this is about you wanting to make this personal because of some other discussion.  Is that what this is all about?   Your use of barely when you never have done so before tells me this is personal.


angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 6/4/2011 5:52:36 AM >

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 5:59:36 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		OP, you said you were "talking" WITH HER, you couldn't say hey what hospital are you in?  And if she wouldn't give it, that would have been earlier red flags for you.  I agree with others about the cell being taken away -- there are phones by the beds.   If you were typing to her,  i guess i just am not following.  And as others will come barrelling in here to jump into the bandwagon that Holly is starting with the personal shit with me and this will blow up into BS, all i can say is good luck. 

Without her side of it, no one really can say much but its over and get on with your life.

angel

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:02:29 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

And as others will come barrelling in here to jump into the bandwagon that Holly is starting with the personal shit with me
Put a sock in it, Barely 

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:08:09 AM   
Darrc


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Status: offline 		In reply to other things though, no I don't live near D.C. I'm about 2 hours away, so to get work, I would definitely have to move. Which isn't a problem, per se. I just don't much like living in the city. Where I am now, is fairly nice, aside from the cramped living space. The land though. It's the country. Laid back, nice. I love land. Have a nice little stream.

Even when I work on Kent Island, about an hour away, with gas prices I spend about 120 dollars a week. Just to work I have to spend that much, which is insane.

The only good thing is I make pretty good money when I work. Bad thing is work is so unsteady. Literally, when I get paid for a week, I have to do my best to make that money stretch out 2-3 weeks because I know I may not be working or it may be a spotty job here and there.

So, I wasn't using never having money as an excuse. It's just the truth. And I was completely honest with her up front about it. She was fine with it then. She's the one who changed her mind. But, just in case she isn't lying, I don't blame her. I'm not mad at her. I know we aren't going to work. That's that. But I don't necessarily blame her, as long as she has really done everything she says she has, which I do have doubts about.

All you have to do is read my original post to see that I blame myself for not providing real time. I said that a couple times, that I felt it was my fault. But like I said, that's if she was completely honest, which I have doubts about.

I've checked into getting a job at Ocean City, but a lot of those jobs are for young kids and exchange students making 10 bucks an hour or less. That wouldn't be worth my time. So, a move is most likely in order. Anyway, I feel the topic is starting to stray.

To steven, I had no idea the hospital thing came from the playbook. Thanks for enlightening me. See, a clear case where my youth was definitely detrimental. Now I know, I guess. Yup, 50% are women. I'm not too worried. Thanks for the help.

One other thing, even when we did talk, she often complained about being worn out from work. Sometimes, I would get a response from her until 9 or so. I'd tell her I wanted to talk, and she'd say she was worn out from work. I'm not knocking her job at all, but she's a receptionist. She sits in the AC and answers the phone all day. I drive at least an hour, both ways (so 2 total), and am lifting heavy things, using power tools, working in adverse weather all day. When I get home I am exhausted, but I still have the energy to write her and call her. That never sit well with me either.

Anyway, to all of you who are just going to tell me to move on, I basically have. So you don't need to write it. I'm not hung up or broken. It just kind of sucks right now. More than anything, I feel like an idiot. Thanks to everyone for writing and helping.

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:08:31 AM   
smartsub10


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Status: offline 		The whole hospital story sounds mighty fishy to me.  I was in the hospital for several days after a major surgery and had my cell phone next to me the entire time.  And not on vibrate.  There are still patients who use the room phone and you can hear those ringing down the hall.  The nurses don't stop patients from getting calls and they certainly don't threaten to take away personal property unless it's threatening your care.  I've never heard of anyone getting their cell phone taken away.
I have to agree with DarkSteven that your girl may have made the whole thing up to buy time.  You're young.  You will resolve the issues in your life and move on.  It's sad that you couldn't make things work due to life's circumstances but....it happens.


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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:11:54 AM   
Darrc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

OP, you said you were "talking" WITH HER, you couldn't say hey what hospital are you in?  And if she wouldn't give it, that would have been earlier red flags for you.  I agree with others about the cell being taken away -- there are phones by the beds.   If you were typing to her,  i guess i just am not following.  And as others will come barrelling in here to jump into the bandwagon that Holly is starting with the personal shit with me and this will blow up into BS, all i can say is good luck. 

Without her side of it, no one really can say much but its over and get on with your life.

angel


"talking" meaning typing. Keeping contact. She said she couldn't talk because the tube. Then, when it came out, she couldn't use her phone in the room because the disturbance or whatever.

Thanks. I am getting on with it, as I've written before. I've been use to not talking to her for a couple weeks, so it's been easy. If I could squeeze her side out of her, I'd share it, but since I barely get a couple sentences a day, that ain't gonna happen. Have a good one.

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:21:19 AM   
Darrc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

The nurses don't stop patients from getting calls and they certainly don't threaten to take away personal property unless it's threatening your care.  I've never heard of anyone getting their cell phone taken away.



Neither have I. Like I said, I have recently been in a couple because my grandmother and I had small issue I had to get taken care of. Hospitals are noisy places. Lot of bustle. Phones. And I think if a doctor or nurse tried to take away my personal property, I'd definitely have something to say. They'd have to rip my phone out of my doped up hands.

I chock this up to me being plain stupid. Oh well. Live and learn, right? Thanks smart.

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:41:31 AM   
smartsub10


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quote:

I chock this up to me being plain stupid. Oh well. Live and learn, right? Thanks smart.


Don't call yourself stupid.  It's not that at all.  Emotions and lust make us do stupid things.  It happens. You can't help how you feel.


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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:46:25 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
quote:

She was in the hospital for A MONTH and you didn't send her flowers, a teddy bear, a card, take out NOTHING? Geesh dude.
Not all of us are superficial. Flowers die, teddy bears are for little ones and while cards are nice, i prefer the sentiment be expressed verbally. Any bozo can shop at Hallmark...

My husband never sent flowers, cards or gifts when we were dating, and i was fine with that. I had his heart and there is nothing more precious or valuable than that.


I'm not playing favorites in the friction between you and angel. However, this comment I did find a little offensive. Because I'm one of those Bozo's that will shop at Hallmark, spending time hunting through the racks of cards until I find the perfect one. I'll go into gift shops perhaps several in the Quest for the right gifts with special meaning to it! Which I'm a rather different sort of a Bozo.. I don't simply snag up the first damn thing I see. So Bozo I guess is one of my sub titles for the day. Since after all, I do send flowers, cards, gifts even whole care packages jammed pack full of shit.. why? Because I care and sincerely it's with Love in my heart. I also write little notes and attach it to things too. So Holly I guess I'm one of the Bozos... and thank you very much for your kind words and casting Guys like me into the Group of Bozo that we truly are. Thank you for showing me what and who I truly am and pointing it out so thoughtfully. Bozo the Dom is my new title!! Thank you.

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RE: Am I reading this wrong? My fault? - 6/4/2011 6:49:02 AM   
sirsholly


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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

quote:

I chock this up to me being plain stupid. Oh well. Live and learn, right? Thanks smart.


Don't call yourself stupid.  It's not that at all.  Emotions and lust make us do stupid things.  It happens. You can't help how you feel.

how true this is!!

Intelligent people sometimes do stupid things. It is called LIVING

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