how to say no (Full Version)

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sylorkitten -> how to say no (6/5/2011 2:19:26 AM)

I am looking for some one a bit more agressive than me to play with while I figure myself out but I'm picky and what's a good way to decline offers face to face and online I don't have a Dom and I would just love to be able to say so with out them geting more agressive



fadedshadow -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 2:29:44 AM)

um...just say no? it's not that hard



DomThoughts -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 2:34:47 AM)

Unfortunately, it so often occurs that in attempting to be easy on someone's ego (us men do have fragile ones!) does end up giving mixed signals. "you're being really nice to me, and saying no, surely you're just playing"

"thank you, but you're not what I'm looking for" or its ilk is often the best way forward. Be honest and polite. make sure you're somewhere public so they can't do anything aggressive, but just be firm and unwaivering about it.

failing that, something along the lines of - "can we have sex once my herpes has cleared up, 'cause I can't wait to do you bareback" (though that one does run the risk of "that's ok, I'm a carrier too")




sylorkitten -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 2:34:51 AM)

its supposed to be :/ I say no firmly
they go psssh and try to drag me into things I'm not into
I'm just trying to see if there are different words or something that does not end up with me joint locking some guy 20years older then me



sylorkitten -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 2:46:10 AM)

thanks that might work
I don't meet guys in private though I was at a party and he just stalked me and tried to pull me no matter what I said. after he put his hands on my hand I had to pin him

I just want to avoid it as much as possible



DomThoughts -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 2:46:27 AM)

If a guy is going to not listen to the extent where that is needed, I doubt there is *anything* you could say that they would listen to.

When 'thanks but no thanks doesn't work' go with 'quit being pathetic, and fuck off' if you're capable of handling what that might bring.

Though I would question the sort of guys you are meeting, if you're getting into situations like that on a regular basis. Maybe a touch more due diligence before meeting would be useful



DesFIP -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 6:30:50 AM)

I'm sorry, there's no chemistry. Good luck with your search.

And then don't continue talking to them. Don't respond to more emails. If at a party, walk to the other side of the room and start talking to someone else.



GreedyTop -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 7:09:15 AM)

what Des said.  If the guy continues to hound you, call the cops.  at that point, it becomes stalking/harrassment.



DarkSteven -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 7:29:22 AM)

syl, you handled it just fine. 



IrishMist -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 3:55:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sylorkitten

I am looking for some one a bit more agressive than me to play with while I figure myself out but I'm picky and what's a good way to decline offers face to face and online I don't have a Dom and I would just love to be able to say so with out them geting more agressive

I have found that just saying no, thanks works quite well. After all....YOU ARE an adult who can think independently, correct?



windchymes -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 4:42:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sylorkitten

I am looking for some one a bit more agressive than me to play with while I figure myself out but I'm picky and what's a good way to decline offers face to face and online I don't have a Dom and I would just love to be able to say so with out them geting more agressive



Jesus, sorry about the hijack, but don't they teach using punctuation in school anymore??? Even periods at the ends of sentences???



Killerangel -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 5:44:43 PM)

I usually decline online by saying "No thank you. I've looked at your profile and we wouldn't be a match. Good luck in your search."  I have had a few men come back and insist that they were perfect for me, but at that point I don't answer their emails anymore. For in person situations I guess I would say something like what Des proposed....something polite and to the effect that there isn't any chemistry.



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 6:51:58 PM)

Online is really easy. You just close the window and block them if they don't accept a no from you.

In person, I don't usually have that problem, I usually hang on Hanners' arm at parties or when we go out. One time though I was circulating and there was a guy who kept pestering me. I told him "No thanks, I'm in a relationship", I told him "Sorry, I'm a lesbian". None of it mattered to him, he was one of those guys who thinks his cock is magical and if I tried it just once I would be cured and be hetero.

Anyway, I scurried to Hanners and stood next to her, figuring that would do the trick. It didn't. He kept pestering me. Hanners paid no attention to him for a bit and kept on talking to the couple she was chatting with. Then out of the blue she stopped in the middle of a sentence and turned to the guy and said in a very quiet but intense voice (as best I can remember): "Listen you fucking little shit of a cocksucker, if you so much as even look at my girl again I'm going to gouge your fucking eyes out with my thumbs and shove them down your motherfucking throat. Do I make myself clear shit for brains?" And then smiled an evil little smile and went back to her conversation.

That did the trick. :)

So my recommendation? get yourself a tough talking foul mouthed girlfriend who people think just might be crazy enough to do that sort of thing. [:)]



Aylee -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 7:04:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sylorkitten

I am looking for some one a bit more agressive than me to play with while I figure myself out but I'm picky and what's a good way to decline offers face to face and online I don't have a Dom and I would just love to be able to say so with out them geting more agressive



No, thank you.



fadedshadow -> RE: how to say no (6/5/2011 9:52:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sylorkitten

thanks that might work
I don't meet guys in private though I was at a party and he just stalked me and tried to pull me no matter what I said. after he put his hands on my hand I had to pin him

I just want to avoid it as much as possible


maybe carry some mace or something in case someone does shit like that



fallon0627 -> RE: how to say no (6/6/2011 2:31:04 PM)

There should be someone in charge at the party that you can bring this up with. If he won't take no for an answer then I would report it. My group doesn't tolerate that and sounds like he needs to grow up.



mynxkat -> RE: how to say no (6/9/2011 8:14:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fallon0627

There should be someone in charge at the party that you can bring this up with. If he won't take no for an answer then I would report it. My group doesn't tolerate that and sounds like he needs to grow up.


This. If you're at a party and some douchebag won't take 'No' for an answer, find the host or hostess of the party and tell them you're being harassed by another guest and point out the person to them. If they don't or won't take steps to stop the harassment, then... well, I'm not usually a violent person, but if the creep lays a hand on you, it's your option whether he gets the hand back still attached to his arm or not.



Kana -> RE: how to say no (6/9/2011 8:27:32 AM)

Tell em you unfortunately have to say no because you just got the blood work back...



littleone35 -> RE: how to say no (6/10/2011 9:49:13 AM)

Just say no i am not inteested.  Leave me alone.

Matt's littleone



catize -> RE: how to say no (6/10/2011 5:36:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Tell em you unfortunately have to say no because you just got the blood work back...


[:D]
I've always wanted to use "Unhand me, you cad!' but yours is scarier by far (and funnier!)



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