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What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:25:09 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline 		I am facing a dilemma... it's not a D/s dilemma, per se, but I am really interested to see what others would do in my shoes...

I will need to leave the house I am living at, by the end of this coming week, namely Friday.
This roommate situation that began as a vanilla/fetish relationship, 15 years ago next month, was based, the last 11 years, to a mutual understanding, that we are best of friends, and we will support one another. At the time, I shifted from being a Club DJ/Radio producer to a less physically demanding job, translating technical charts and blueprints.
The last 4 years or so, I lost that job, and have been shifting between small-time jobs, from telesales, to phone poll interviews, to an occasional DJ job, to whatever I could grab my hands on.
Until September 2010, things were based on the terms we both had set a decade ago.
At that time however, she met someone... which of course was none of my bussiness, since we were only roommates... but...
She started emptying the house of things, taking everything to the guy's place.... up to a point, I was understanding, thinking that "the man has job issues, he needs support, I'm not really better"... I had a job at the time...I even shared money, to the level that I could, holding a household on my own, plus supporting them, as little as it was, due to my limited funds.
I couldn't fail to notice that her story about the man was smelling like stale bullshit... especially his "I am a radio producer and had not been paid for months"...
I pushed the ropes and got the station he was supposedly working, and did some asking... I wasn't surprised to find out they never heard of the man.
When I mentioned it, and pushed my friend to demand some serious answers, I was given a different station, claiming it was a misunderstanding...
As I already expected, nobody knew the man on the other station either.
A few months passed, during which, he was receiving full support, even if I was boiling mad, and had huge fights everytime they came at the house to strip some more stuff... all until I lost my job... the whole mess got into me, and I ended up getting fired after argueing with everyone.
When I told them I am out of a job and I'll leave the apartment, looking for any resolution, even as homeless, she seemed to have awakened, and "noticed" everything I had been telling her, as to how he is exploiting her love and support, and ended up "leaving him".
She asked me to not leave, and aranged for us to move to her old parents house... which happened last month.
A week after moving in, she started visiting him again, despite my concerns that it was a bad move... A week after that, she ionformed me that I must leave within a month, because he will be moving in.
I was still unemployed at the time.
I started a frantic job search, and thank God, I found a job, though a little too late to have an income so I can move out already.
But...
The way things are turning out, and the way she avoids speaking since that moment, has me certain this all period of "leaving" was a farse... a way for her to have me take the labor of moving things from one place to the other, with a minimal cost for them two...
And, today, after another argument, I am certain, beyond doubt, that she had this whole thing staged, since I lost my job.... Having no need for me , since I was unable to pay the bills for her...

I am seriously considering sabotaging the place... not to hurt them, or kill them. But, having an electronics degree, I have thought about getting my vengeance, by killing his favourite PS3 unit, and frying the washing machines the night before I leave.
It may sound cheap, or awful of me... but what would you do, if it was you in my shoes?

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:31:40 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Deviant,
When you look in the mirror, what does that guy say?
Best,
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:35:23 AM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		Hugs, but no.

pam

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:35:57 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline 		This is my problem...
When I look in the mirror, the guy tells me to fuck the bitch, and her gigolo wannabe. And I mean literally, fuck their brains out, in the non-pleasant way.
I am furious, and whatever sadism is in me boils.
On the other hand, I was never the destructive type, which is why I am writing down here, instead of shortcircuiting the wirings already

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:41:08 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		We ask advice when we already know the answer, but don't like it.

Revenge is so tempting, but it will bring you down to their level.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:42:28 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I know you are feeling hurt.

I think it is more than likely that she did not con you and she is still being conned by him.

The sad fact is women caught in abusive situations often go back; often convince themselves to re-believe the lies for any number of reasons. I think her silence is because she can't look you in the eye... she is ashamed she went back, even though she knows better.
She knows what you think of him and is probably worried that you think less of her.

She has been your friend and as hurt as you are, I think you really don't want to hurt her. You can't hurt him without hurting her.


Don't give in to the temptation to resort to childish retaliations that you will regret.

You have a job and will soon find a place to live.

I am sorry for your circumstance but taking the high road will give you no regrets.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:46:48 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline 		So, like another Odysseus, I am standing between Scylla and Charybdis. Revenge will satisfy me, and then I will most likely spend God knows how many years regretting it... and, swallowing my pride and walking out, will have me accept defeat to a man I see as inferior, and will damage my already wounded ego.
I already decided that I'm going to at least rip the computer's Hard Drive and take it with me... I'm not compromising half a Terrabyte of music, plus all my personal details, to anyone, especially these two people. I'd get the computer as a whole, but, until I get a proper place to live, carrying out heavy luggage is not an option.

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:50:09 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		I think you should get out, and then just turn the page in your life. One of my grannys fav sayings was "good riddance to bad rubbish".

Good luck with whatever you do.

Revenge is not a good thing to me, but a well placed "fuck you ya stupid cunt, I aint buying your line of shit no more", well, I see nothing wrong with that, as long as immediately after you walk away and leave her trying to ecplain how you are wrong about her and her intentions.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 5:52:23 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

swallowing my pride and walking out, will have me accept defeat to a man I see as inferior, and will damage my already wounded ego.
*shrugs*

I have always felt the bigger man with the stronger character is the one that walks away.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:01:21 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline 		A "Fuck you bitch" is not the only thing they will BOTH hear.
One thing I regret, right now, is that I was a better man (Yes holly, I totally understand what you mean, and I generally agree to it 100%), back when the HR manager of the first radio station wanted the details about the man who claimed to be their unpaid employee... If I would not cover them that day, he would probably be stuck into deep shit with the legal department of the station.
Oh, well... c'est la vie.

P.S.
One of the reasons that got me mad, is that, after he learned, that I sniffed around, and uncovered his fake job story, he started trying to push me off the board... he felt threatened, and never stopped trying to get me gone.

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:01:26 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

So, like another Odysseus, I am standing between Scylla and Charybdis. Revenge will satisfy me, and then I will most likely spend God knows how many years regretting it... and, swallowing my pride and walking out, will have me accept defeat to a man I see as inferior, and will damage my already wounded ego.
I already decided that I'm going to at least rip the computer's Hard Drive and take it with me... I'm not compromising half a Terrabyte of music, plus all my personal details, to anyone, especially these two people. I'd get the computer as a whole, but, until I get a proper place to live, carrying out heavy luggage is not an option.


A question:
IF she was "only a roommate" then why are you feeling like you have been defeated by a man you see as inferior?

You were best friends.

Your best friend has made a piss-poor choice in a partner and sadly you are being forced to leave your living situation.

I do understand feeling betrayed, but defeated?
That implies you had other feelings for her.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:03:52 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantMan

So, like another Odysseus, I am standing between Scylla and Charybdis. Revenge will satisfy me, and then I will most likely spend God knows how many years regretting it... and, swallowing my pride and walking out, will have me accept defeat to a man I see as inferior, and will damage my already wounded ego.
I already decided that I'm going to at least rip the computer's Hard Drive and take it with me... I'm not compromising half a Terrabyte of music, plus all my personal details, to anyone, especially these two people. I'd get the computer as a whole, but, until I get a proper place to live, carrying out heavy luggage is not an option.


A question:
IF she was "only a roommate" then why are you feeling like you have been defeated by a man you see as inferior?

You were best friends.

Your best friend has made a piss-poor choice in a partner and sadly you are being forced to leave your living situation.

I do understand feeling betrayed, but defeated?
That implies you had other feelings for her.


I paid his damned overdue bills... bought and delivered them food directly to his apartment, I even went as far as giving up my own food...
Yes, I feel defeated, because I was being used, until I dried out and became useless.
As for the feelings...
I made her first CM profile, about 5 years ago, as well as her first Alt.com profile back in 2001. I was giving her date tips, and I even acted as a scarecrow to harrassing people, while I kept her appontments in order, when I had free time. If I had other feelings, I'd not be doing any of that, ever, nor would she be keeping my appointments in order for my own local ads.

< Message edited by DeviantMan -- 6/5/2011 6:06:37 AM >

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:11:41 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Again, I think it is possible she did not have you move things with the intent of conning you.

She went back to him and is feeling shame for all sorts of reasons.
You caught him in lies.
She knows what you think of him...  and just going back to him, you must have looked at her as if she had rocks in her head at the very least... if you did not look at her with glimpses of contempt.
It is not a surprise that she couldn't look at you.

It would not be a tenable situation for the 3 of you to live together for that and other reasons.

I am NOT condoning her behaviour.

I do think you are probably ascribing motives that did not exist.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:12:51 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Based upon what you wrote, you allowed this whole mess. Red flags everywhere and yet you continued to ignore them and hope things were going to work out, even when it was obvious it was all a fucking mess.

I mean seriously, you supported the two of them and are now whining when they want to continue to use you???

You share equal responsibility for the situation. Don't increase the disaster by acting like an immature twat. Pack up, move on, learn from your mistakes and be done with it.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 6/5/2011 6:14:31 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:15:06 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		You will regret your revenge, SO MAKE IT WORTH IT !

I shit you not. The best way is to deliver bad luck. Electrical something or other you say ? Well then you know how important that white or uninsulated wire coming from the meter to the electrical panel is. It must be tight. Get your harddrive before you check that.

Are there any bugs in the house ? Possible dead animals in the walls or anything ? Is the phone in your name ?  

Use your imagination, be creative.

Just remember, anything good you can't take back. So have your second thoughts first. Whatever it is, does the punishment fit the crime ?

T^T

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:18:53 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

You will regret your revenge, SO MAKE IT WORTH IT !

I shit you not. The best way is to deliver bad luck. Electrical something or other you say ? Well then you know how important that white or uninsulated wire coming from the meter to the electrical panel is. It must be tight. Get your harddrive before you check that.

Are there any bugs in the house ? Possible dead animals in the walls or anything ? Is the phone in your name ?  

Use your imagination, be creative.

Just remember, anything good you can't take back. So have your second thoughts first. Whatever it is, does the punishment fit the crime ?

T^T



And remember that shit like this CAN be used against you in a court of law....

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:28:46 AM   
DeviantMan


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/27/2011
From: Greece
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

You will regret your revenge, SO MAKE IT WORTH IT !

I shit you not. The best way is to deliver bad luck. Electrical something or other you say ? Well then you know how important that white or uninsulated wire coming from the meter to the electrical panel is. It must be tight. Get your harddrive before you check that.

Are there any bugs in the house ? Possible dead animals in the walls or anything ? Is the phone in your name ?  

Use your imagination, be creative.

Just remember, anything good you can't take back. So have your second thoughts first. Whatever it is, does the punishment fit the crime ?

T^T


Ha... I was thinking more along the way of simply turning the 220/110 AC to 110... it is guaranteed to fry shit harmlessly...



quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Based upon what you wrote, you allowed this whole mess. Red flags everywhere and yet you continued to ignore them and hope things were going to work out, even when it was obvious it was all a fucking mess.

I mean seriously, you supported the two of them and are now whining when they want to continue to use you???

You share equal responsibility for the situation. Don't increase the disaster by acting like an immature twat. Pack up, move on, learn from your mistakes and be done with it.


I agree here. It's more of my own mess than I want to see it, and I acknowledge that much. I was partially stripped of options, which is pretty much the same case here, only I have to take it up the chin (or the ass, or wherever), and walk out with my head up...

Sometimes though, you feel secure in a situation... You keep your end of the bargain, you have your private life, you do not allow your playmates, Dommes, or subs, mess up your home... and, suddenly, you find out that, what you thought was common sense, got raped into chaos... red flags, and I (perhaps consciously) ignored? Yes... My own mess? Yes... Should I not feel betrayed and hurt, or raging mad? No, I have every right to feel like that, when I first proposed I take a hike, when this relationship started, and I was begged to not do it.

_____________________________

And, what if I told you that it's more sick to live a masquerade life, hiding your nature, until old age turns you into a bitter, and sore caricature of your former self?

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:31:44 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

(Yes holly, I totally understand what you mean, and I generally agree to it 100%)
it's easy for me to give that type of advice when i am not the one in your shoes.
But you have a responsibility here, and that is to honor the one in your shoes.
You lost a great deal...do not lose the character of a good man. It will haunt you.
But again...this is easy for me to say....


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:53:02 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		You can't get played unless you hand them the instrument.

It is done, it is over.

Turn the page

With apologies to Bob Segar, it is just more of a Metallica morning here.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to DeviantMan)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What should I do? - 6/5/2011 6:53:24 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Can you afford a small storage unit to put all your things in? Would a friend let you store your computer at his house till you get a new place? Take all your things elsewhere. Including everything you bought to replace the stuff she took to his place.

She's been your friend for years on end, she is involved with a con and it's obvious her relationship will go badly. When it does, you'll be in a better place and the situation will be reversed. Allow karma to work out without you damaging your own self esteem. Because if you reduce yourself to his level, then you're no better than he is.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 20
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