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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:13:41 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

...because shouting 'HA! HAVE AT YOU!' like some demented fencing chicken doesn't blow your own domly creds at all...



I'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you pesky kids!

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
And to get this back on track:

That meet-up we're talking about was organised by an owned woman. She made the decision that she wanted to come up to London and say hello, after she and I (and presumably she and RF) talked online.


No I'd never had any contact with any of them. I was lured into the area with the promise of free beer, then drugged and kidnapped. When I awoke I was sitting with a bunch of mentalists.

On the more serious side (coz we all know drug-derived kidnapping is just a bit of fun), I think I disagree with you; I don't allow other "Doms" to contact anyone I considered to be mine, not because of any great insecurity, but because (from previous experience) I have found them to be a bunch of irritating idiots (the "Owned Sub Contactors") who can end up upsetting the girl, requiring me to un-fuck their heads, thus wasting my time.

In the example above the (lovely, smart, owned) lady had contacted me first, in order to say hi and chat socially after (if memory serves) I'd written something that she and her Master found interesting; I would not approach someone owned first – it’s simply bad manners, IMHO.

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:20:35 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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Status: offline 		Well then we'll have to disagree (but we can cope with that, right? )

I don't pay much attention to people's relationship statuses when I talk to them, unless they specifically bring it up. If someone makes me laugh I'll say hello, and I'd be gutted if any partner of mine said something funny/amusing/interesting and was avoided because of her/his relationship to me. Also, I expect my partners to have a sense of proportion and a bit of common sense - that means not allowing themselves to be upset by internet randoms. (We are just talking about the internet here, right? I'm guessing you wouldn't avoid someone in a room full of people because of their relationship status...)

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:26:28 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Well then we'll have to disagree (but we can cope with that, right? )



Fx: <slashes wrists>

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I don't pay much attention to people's relationship statuses when I talk to them, unless they specifically bring it up. If someone makes me laugh I'll say hello, and I'd be gutted if any partner of mine said something funny/amusing/interesting and was avoided because of her/his relationship to me. Also, I expect my partners to have a sense of proportion and a bit of common sense - that means not allowing themselves to be upset by internet randoms. (We are just talking about the internet here, right? I'm guessing you wouldn't avoid someone in a room full of people because of their relationship status...)


Yes, just the net and, returning to what I just said, I wouldn't, as a Dominant, contact an owned sub first. Maybe I'm over mannered (although if I am it's absolutely the first I've heard of it and, further, I demand a recount), but the question strikes me as ... what is the "Dominant" making contact with the owned sub actually after? If it's just "liked you post X" then sure, fine, whatever. But my experience is that it almost never is. And I only put "almost" in there coz it may have happened innocently to someone else - I can't recall a single, solitary occasion when any girl of mine has, at a point where she identifies as mine, and has clearly labelled her profile as such, had contact with a Dom who wasn't after something else*.

*and by "something else", I mean "a fuck".

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:34:08 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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Status: offline 		Dodgy logic - what 'most men' are motivated by needn't impact your actions if you're motivated by something different.

If the OP was intending to poach someone, do you really think he'd be here asking about etiquette? To me that's a sign of someone wanting to do the thing properly - he could be the one man in your 'almost' clause. Maybe I'm young and naive, though. Or maybe you're old and cynical.

<ed for small but vital piece of syntax>

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 6/11/2011 5:35:12 AM >

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:35:38 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

If the OP was intending poach someone, do you really think he'd be here asking about etiquette?


I do, yes.


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
To me that's a sign of someone wanting to do the thing properly - he could be the one man in your 'almost' clause. Maybe I'm young and naive, though. Or maybe you're old and cynical.


Or both. Both works for me :)

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:37:10 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

If the OP was intending poach someone, do you really think he'd be here asking about etiquette?


I do, yes.

Well then we're back to having to disagree. In my experience men like that don't much care about propriety - they just try and slide right in there (as it were.)

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:39:53 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Dodgy logic - what 'most men' are motivated by needn't impact your actions if you're motivated by something different.


And that is even dodgier logic. All I'm saying is that, to date, I've observed a 100% swing towards “wants to poach or denigrate”. That's 100%. Not 90, not 80 ... 100.

It never works, obviously. But I still sometimes have to expend my time and effort un-fucking the head of someone who has been roundly abused in written form, as the “Domly Dipsticks” always eventually turn, and that's time and effort I don't have to expend if I simply say “no accepting contact from fuckwits who claim to be dominant”.

It’s simplistic, I grant you, but then again Occam’s Razor does actually work.

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:40:10 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Well then we're back to having to disagree. In my experience men like that don't much care about propriety - they just try and slide right in there (as it were.)


hardy har har =p i have to say i agree with ya


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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:44:00 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

All I'm saying is that, to date, I've observed a 100% swing towards “wants to poach or denigrate”. That's 100%. Not 90, not 80 ... 100.

Sure. And all I'm saying is that needn't stop you from contacting other women if you aren't aiming to poach or denigrate.

I'm not telling you how to run your relationships. I'm saying that I don't think it's necessarily rude/a breach of etiquette to contact an owned woman if her profile doesn't say otherwise. (Obviously if it does say otherwise then that's about as rude as you can get, but I'm guessing the OP can figure that out on his own.)

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:46:20 AM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: analyticalmaster

Lets see, first of all your 19, sorry but this means you dont have a clue as yet, 

Very few if any owned submissives want to hear directly for males they do not know personally.  For the rare one who's Master might let them talk to you, assuming they even wanted to, you would write him and ask permission politely.  The only acceptable way to talk to another's submissive is either on a forum list, where conversation is remote and about a topic, or at a social event with the sub's Master present and with his permission. 


I have sons this age....... they DO have a clue and so do their friends. Being 19yrs doesn't mean *doesn't have a clue*. It undoubtedly means that there are MORE *clues* to be gained.......and I'm still *getting clues* at 53yrs old.

When it comes to talking to people, or people messaging me, I talk to them as I would anyone else in the world. I don't need regulating on a web site anymore than I do when I'm out and about. I don't know how M could allow me outside of my front door if he was antsy about men finding me interesting to talk to or me finding other men interesting to talk to.

AS Jeff mentioned regarding Carol....It doesn't occur to M to limit who I can or cannot talk to, I'd find it vaguely insulting if he did and I doubt we'd have lasted all these years if he'd introduced that kind of nuttiness into our relationship.

People who speak to me can have any motive under the sun but all they'll ever get from me are genuine responses from someone who is owned, taken and clearly contendedly attached. If they DO have undisclosed motives, they'll lose interest and move along, so no harm done.

I'm with Heather on this....What about friendly conversation? Interesting exchanges of ideas?

I don't know about anyone else, but that's generally why I talk to people.

agirl




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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:46:24 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

hardy har har =p


You say that in a sarcastic way, but we all know that you laughed coquettishly at my masterful (mistressful?) use of innuendo.

Don't be embarrassed that you find my humour irresistible. It's nothing to be ashamed of.




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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:46:30 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Well then we're back to having to disagree. In my experience men like that don't much care about propriety - they just try and slide right in there (as it were.)


hardy har har =p i have to say i agree with ya


But for the sake of the one in a million (even allowing that your assertion is true, which I don't agree with), why on earth should I be even slightly inconvenienced by the other 999,999?

What are the upsides? One "hey I think you're really cool" email. And the negs? 999,999 grasscutters, foisting themselves and causing aggravation.

I don't like them thar numbers.

Subs contacting Doms; fine, if their owners are happy with that. But Doms/Masters contacting girls they know to be owned? Pur-leese.

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:48:28 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

hardy har har =p


You say that in a sarcastic way, but we all know that you laughed coquettishly at my masterful (mistressful?) use of innuendo.

Don't be embarrassed that you find my humour irresistible. It's nothing to be ashamed of.





*swoon* ^.~


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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:48:54 AM   
MrHCurious


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Joined: 6/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

hardy har har =p


You say that in a sarcastic way, but we all know that you laughed coquettishly at my masterful (mistressful?) use of innuendo.

Don't be embarrassed that you find my humour irresistible. It's nothing to be ashamed of.



Yes it is. Don't stroke her ego, people, it's big enough as it is!

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:49:37 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

why on earth should I be even slightly inconvenienced by the other 999,999?


You shouldn't. I don't think I'm being clear. I'm not talking about you choosing to set limits on your own relationship, I'm talking about interactions with women with no limits on their relationships, and how you think it's rude to contact them.

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:50:04 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

I'm not telling you how to run your relationships.

*chortle*

That's damn good of you :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I'm saying that I don't think it's necessarily rude/a breach of etiquette to contact an owned woman if her profile doesn't say otherwise.


And I disagree, and wouldn't do it - it's simply not good manners.

It's official; I'm over-mannered. I'm going away now to weep copiously, and I reserve the right to kill myself in an entertaining and amusing way.

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:51:28 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		At the risk of seeming heartless:

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

It's official; I'm over-mannered. I'm going away now to weep copiously, and I reserve the right to kill myself in an entertaining and amusing way.


Pics or it didn't happen.

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:52:14 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

why on earth should I be even slightly inconvenienced by the other 999,999?


You shouldn't. I don't think I'm being clear. I'm not talking about you choosing to set limits on your own relationship, I'm talking about interactions with women with no limits on their relationships, and how you think it's rude to contact them.


Hmmmmm ... well that's ok then ... I guess ... I still can't help shake the feeling I'm being sold a time-share property here though ...

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:53:09 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I...have no idea what that means.

Cultural reference has gone over my head.

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RE: Proper Equitte? - 6/11/2011 5:54:44 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

At the risk of seeming heartless:

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

It's official; I'm over-mannered. I'm going away now to weep copiously, and I reserve the right to kill myself in an entertaining and amusing way.


Pics or it didn't happen.


Oh way to make the whole thing more difficult!

Honestly, I've never seen a situation or debate that became easier once you got involved.

I demand a refund.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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