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Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 8:49:21 AM   
luluwishes


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline 		I have a question, please forgive me if it has already been covered at some point but I really feel the need to bring it up.
What to you is a perfect submissive?? do you expect to find the perfect one all ready made or do you expect to have to work on a few things?
What is important to you, could you take someone with all the right qualities but with a few issues, for example body issues, or would you prefer the perfect body and to work on the submissive traits?

How far and how long would you be willing to work on these things?

What would make you walk away??

Thank you
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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 8:57:26 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		no one is perfect. Anyone who expects perfect is living in a daydream.




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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 8:58:57 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  There is none.  Perfection doesn't exist and what constitutes an ideal sub is an individual aesthetic.

For myself, self-awareness, mental health, compassion and the desire to grow are all essential qualities.  And ask any man - we generally aim for the hottest chick we can find, but if she's crazy then we'll fuck and run.

All in all, we'll tend go for a woman who's a little better than what we think we deserve.

Oh... and only one cat.  That's very important.


< Message edited by Awareness -- 6/11/2011 8:59:43 AM >

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 9:49:00 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If he wants you to be perfect physically and in every other way, he better be perfect himself.
Beyond that, there is no such thing as perfect, only perfect for you.

In person, I'm shy. The Man finds this endearing. To him, this is a perfect quality, that I'd rather be with just a few very close friends than at a large party. To an extrovert, this would be far from perfect.

As far as issues go, we all have them. What matters is how well you handle them. Do you try to work on them yourself or not? Are you honest about them?The ability to take responsibility for yourself is always valuable. And if you meet someone who doesn't want that, run. That's a red flag.


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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 9:50:51 AM   
sirssubk2008


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/1/2011
Status: offline 		I agree with littlewonder and Awareness...people are flawed, period.


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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 10:03:52 AM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		With the "no one is perfect" comments aside, I think perhaps your question would be better phrased as, "What is your preference for a submissive?" And although each is a valid question, they both are very subjective, depending on the dominant involved. There is no "one size fits all" answer.

As a BBW with (sometimes) body issues, I have found many dominants that are more interested in my intelligence, ethics, behavior, and personality than my number on a scale. However, I have also expressed interest in doms who do not find my body type attractive and therefore are not interested in pursuing what I'm like as a sub. I don't fault them for that -- we all have our preferences.

I personally prefer to have a dominant who not only likes me for me, but also is attracted to BBWs. I feel a lot more comfortable that way.

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"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 10:16:13 AM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Oh... and only one cat.  That's very important.


Oh, Awareness, I thought you were the perfect Dom until you made that statement.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to Awareness)
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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 10:25:45 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		1. She wants to please me.
2. I find her attractive.  Physically and in all other ways.
3. The conversations between us show a match in temperament, intelligence levels, etc.

To answer your question, I expect to have to work on a few things.  Both her things and my own.




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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 10:30:13 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Asking what the perfect submissive is, is like asking what the perfect music is; it is completely variable.

What is perfect for you is not for another.

There is no perfection and I believe that we all find what works for us and if you come close, you are lucky.

Just do not try to change someone's essential nature; other things can be worked on or changed, but not the essence.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 10:36:39 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I am the perfect sub.
I don't even poop.

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 11:15:10 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		The "perfect submissive" to me means

  • Someone I like, respect, trust and love.
  • She feels similarly about me.
  • She is competent and stable
  • She has Carol's submissive personality.
  • She has Halley Berry's body.
  • She is wealthy


Having said that, I'm not personally expecting that Halley Berrry knocks and the door later on today then falls to her feet proclaiming her undying love & submission for me. Even if she did, I wouldn't touch her with a 10' pole (fails points 1-3). I expect my partner to "work on a few things". That's not my job, it's hers. But yes, I expect there to be more than a few things to work on and I expect that list to grow and change over a lifetime. I expect the same sort of list applies to myself.

I would, any day of the week, select a strong, submissive [by MY definition of both strong and submissive] personality type over a perfect body. Give me the first and I can have the second... or close enough that it doesn't matter.

I'd be willing to work on anything not in the first four points above indefinitely... and I fully expect to.

What would make me walk away is a failure in any of the top 3 bullet items.

_____________________________

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 11:33:13 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I am the perfect sub.
I don't even poop.


most girls don't poop, we simply emit glitter. ^.~ haha







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"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 1:20:02 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I am the perfect sub.
I don't even poop.


most girls don't poop, we simply emit glitter. ^.~ haha


THIS! (read: in MY world, everyone's a pony, and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies. Oh, and the girls all bellydance..)

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 1:31:56 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies merely glow

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 1:33:24 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I don't fault them for that -- we all have our preferences. I personally prefer to have a dominant who not only likes me for me, but also is attracted to BBWs. I feel a lot more comfortable that way.


(in reply to bamabbwsub)
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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 1:48:21 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		All relationships are about compromise.

And to an extent, the person we're with can influence what it is we actually want and/or need.

On paper, my Master does not fit all of the 'must haves' I would list. Similarly, I do not fit all of his.

And yet together, it just feels amazingly good. Our relationship has changed to fit what we are, and it feels wonderful.

As long as the basics are there (in our case sadistic Dom and masochistic sub), the rest can be tweaked as long as both care enough to do so.



edited for clarity

< Message edited by myotherself -- 6/11/2011 1:51:36 PM >

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 2:01:21 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I am the perfect sub.
I don't even poop.


Didn't I read somewhere that you poop on command?

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A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 5:39:04 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't want a perfect submissive, and I think it is our flaws and how we deal with them that makes someone beautiful.

I like a pretty face but if her smile doesn't warm my heart, it doesn't matter.
I like a woman with curves but those curves can be a size 7 to even a 16 and I have found them irrisistable, the more they love and accept their body, the hotter they are.
I like big breast but have found women with B cups intoxicating
I like a curvy ass, I have to admit, a flat ass is one of my few deal breakers

I want a woman, someone who can match wits with me, who can enrich my life with laughter, joy, insight, and vision. Those things mean far more to me than tangible things.

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 6:10:35 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

What to you is a perfect submissive??
somebody just exactly fucking like heather.

quote:

do you expect to find the perfect one all ready made or do you expect to have to work on a few things?
work on things, i mean shit, i don't know exactly what i'm going to want in the future, so of course there's going to be shit to work on.

quote:

What is important to you, could you take someone with all the right qualities but with a few issues, for example body issues, or would you prefer the perfect body and to work on the submissive traits?
most important is that i love her and she loves me. if you've got that, who the fuck cares about the rest? anything can be sorted out given patience and love.

quote:

How far and how long would you be willing to work on these things?
if i loved her, as long as it takes. love is fucking patient. and if being with the woman i love means i give up all this kinkiness, i'd give it a go. not sure if it would work, but i'd sure as fuck be willing to try for the sake of one i love.

quote:

What would make you walk away??
fucked if i know. i suppose if heather started microwaving kittens i might, but anything less than that i'd probably stick around and try work it out.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: Perfect submissive??? - 6/11/2011 10:15:32 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		What to you is a perfect submissive??
Slaves not submissives.  A perfect match for me is poly/bi/slave/maso that wants to part of a family, is as romantic as they are kinky and as passionate as they are intelligent.  They are balanced. 

do you expect to find the perfect one all ready made or do you expect to have to work on a few things?
Work on a few things?  Like one or two... maybe.  Remaking a nightmarish submissive riddled with issues into Frankenslave . . . no thank you.  I've always done really well with ex-Dommes because they already know the ropes.

What is important to you, could you take someone with all the right qualities but with a few issues, for example body issues, or would you prefer the perfect body and to work on the submissive traits?
A physique is easier to change than "deep seeded issues".  Everyone's personality is trainable but liposuction and implants cost less than a used car and are much more fun to 'ride'.

How far and how long would you be willing to work on these things?
90 days.  If we can't get it fixed in less than 90 days, how will we cope with future problems in a timely manner?

What would make you walk away??
I have taken on a few slaves that were a great fit except "a few issues" but I ended up breaking it off at the 90 day point.  Whether it's hidden agendas or people that honestly misrepresented themselves because they weren't self aware . . . there is no room for that crap in a healthy poly.   



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I give good thread.

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