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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/14/2006 4:53:00 PM

mitsu

Posts: 67
Joined: 9/7/2005
From: New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Sweety I hate to burst your little pre assumed and frankly ignorant point of view but NO ONE that has replied to you here is a pro.

Ahem!

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/14/2006 4:53:18 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

all i know is if i was a sex worker, id have en eff lot more money!

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/14/2006 4:58:48 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Hadd, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I see you are from across the pond in London. I am wondering if you have tried typing into the Browser on your computer and or Google, BDSM London, UK. I believe there are a few groups in London directly.

May I suggest contacting:
http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdi ... iew_records=View+Records&ww=on

One of these listings should be anything "but" the escort services. The Tabou Club has been around for ages, was there as a guest in the 1990s.

Good luck with your quest.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Haddaway)

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/14/2006 5:12:30 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

all i know is if i was a sex worker, id have en eff lot more money!

uhmmmmm yeah mix

K

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/14/2006 5:31:53 PM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Yes, this is a community, and the common interest is BDSM, that's why most of the posts you read, will have something to do with BDSM. Pros are part of the BDSM community, The only difference between a pro and non pro is that sometimes, when the pro plays with someone, she gets paid for it. It is kinda like a professional baker and someone who likes to bake. One gets paid for it, and the other one doesn't. i am not sure why so many male subs are upset by this. If you don't want to see a professional, then by all means find someone to play with that doesn't charge. Not a hard concept if you think about it. As far as finding a site where there are no professionals, i haven't seen one, but it might be out there. If you have a problem with CM, it might be a good idea to keep looking. However, according to your profile, you have only been here a couple weeks, so maybe if you stick around, you will find all kinds of people you can relate to. Choice is yours

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/14/2006 5:38:38 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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While this site offers a place for Pros of all kinds...it doesnt outwardly promote it.
It also offers plenty of Non Pros...That have made relationships work.

I wonder if your just looking for the sex without the having to pay part...I hate to inform you of this,Most (not all) dont have sex in anyway,because they could get arrested for prostituting.

I also want to add I agree with some others here,Pros are part of the community.

Perhaps you need to look in the mirror and figure out what it is you really want.

Dont worry about Us "sex workers" We will survive just fine without you.

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Post #: 26

RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/14/2006 7:52:22 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Hello A/all,

Interesting thread, although I get the impression reading it that the person who posted initially used the famous "I have a question, so I will ask it in a way that may insult everybody" approach.

We talk about this in the classes I help teach. If you changed the sentence

("You are" format)
"Everybody that seems to be here are pro-Dom(me)"

to

("I feel" format)
"I am having trouble finding somebody here on Collarme apart from professional Dom(me)s, could somebody please steer me in a direction where I might go / look up and search for some non professional contacts local to me?"

The former is an accusation and an insult, whereas it really is impossible for person X to be insulted by something person Y feels.
Person X may feel insulted by how person Y feels, but that simply implies person X needs years of therapy.

Good luck in your search,

Sinergy

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 1:02:53 AM

shivvy

Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

all i know is if i was a sex worker, id have en eff lot more money!

lol - i agree with mixie... and also, i'm not a professional anything

- ask my employer!

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 3:29:28 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Haddaway

Im a bit confused, I am new to this site and pretty much the scene too. I read the bit that said 'The largest BDSM community on the planet'. So I thought it would be a good idea to join. I think maybe I was a bit naive to think that that phrase meant what I thought it did which was community as in a group of people having common interests. What I mean by that is I find that the word 'community' being used here as a bit ambiguos seeing as many if not most of the Domme's (I am looking for a Domme!) that I browsed where looking for some kind of financial or material benefit in different forms be it a Pro Domme or something else, as far as my concern over the word 'Community', that involves the fact that I have little in common with these people and going by the defenition of what I stated 'Community' actually means, perhaps that that word is a tad ambiguos in its use here for me. I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviously designed to cater for sex workers in their many forms and their clients so ultimatly I think maybe this place isnt really for me!.
   Therefor if anyone could point me in the right direction to the communities where people looking for actual freinds in the scene for whom money is not the reason they are interacting I would be very greatfull!. I notice that there are lots of sites out there for only Pro's and similar where that is the main and often only theme of the site. So there must logically be places out there that cater for people like myself!.  Anyway, I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviosly the wrong place for me as it seems mostly for sex workers etc while I'm not looking for that so I hope not to offend and Im sorry if I have.
    If you could just point me in the right direction to where I need to be it would be much appreciated!


Thanks

Hadd.

Hello Hadd.......as you're in the UK...you could try the LFF (London Fetish Fair) or the BBB ( Birmingham Bizarre Bazzare) .....also if you look on Informed Consent many UK munches etc are listed, also.

I haven't noticed any *sex workers*, ...certainly not prominantly and as for it being *designed to cater for* .......that really isn't the case ( in my limited experience).

These boards seem to be people interacting..........maybe I missed the money changing hands......lol

Regards, agirl

(in reply to Haddaway)

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Post #: 29

RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 7:30:50 AM

Haddaway

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Before you continue your search you might learn a little bit about what you're looking for because you've just done the equivalent of walking into a black church in a white sheet and saying christians suck and where can I find someone that's not like "you people".

With all due respect, I dont think it is anything like that. The klu klux clan are diametrically opposed to blacks. I did mention that I dont want to impinge on Pro Dommes etc right to advertize here as this is clearly a site desinged for this just like mitsu said mentioning her obsevervation of the majority of women in London who are 20-35 (all be it not outwardly promoted like MisstressSassy66 says). If anything what I have done is really more similar to coming to a fishing club with a pair of bowling shoes on. In which case one would expect the fishermen to direct me to a bowling club and I see no reason why they should take offence.

(in reply to theRose4U)

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Post #: 30

RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 7:37:18 AM

Haddaway

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Dear Hadd, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I see you are from across the pond in London. I am wondering if you have tried typing into the Browser on your computer and or Google, BDSM London, UK. I believe there are a few groups in London directly.

May I suggest contacting:
http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdi ... iew_records=View+Records&ww=on

One of these listings should be anything "but" the escort services. The Tabou Club has been around for ages, was there as a guest in the 1990s.

Good luck with your quest.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

Thanks.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

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Post #: 31

RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 7:57:58 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Im a bit confused, I am new to this site and pretty much the scene too. I read the bit that said 'The largest BDSM community on the planet'. So I thought it would be a good idea to join. I think maybe I was a bit naive to think that that phrase meant what I thought it did which was community as in a group of people having common interests. What I mean by that is I find that the word 'community' being used here as a bit ambiguos seeing as many if not most of the Domme's (I am looking for a Domme!) that I browsed where looking for some kind of financial or material benefit in different forms be it a Pro Domme or something else, as far as my concern over the word 'Community', that involves the fact that I have little in common with these people and going by the defenition of what I stated 'Community' actually means, perhaps that that word is a tad ambiguos in its use here for me. I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviously designed to cater for sex workers in their many forms and their clients so ultimatly I think maybe this place isnt really for me!.
   Therefor if anyone could point me in the right direction to the communities where people looking for actual freinds in the scene for whom money is not the reason they are interacting I would be very greatfull!. I notice that there are lots of sites out there for only Pro's and similar where that is the main and often only theme of the site. So there must logically be places out there that cater for people like myself!.  Anyway, I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviosly the wrong place for me as it seems mostly for sex workers etc while I'm not looking for that so I hope not to offend and Im sorry if I have.
    If you could just point me in the right direction to where I need to be it would be much appreciated!


Thanks

Hadd.

Ok this is probably going to come off as being shitty, and its supposed to, but Hadd you obviously are confused to sit there and say that the people on here are sex workers. Thats likening people to prostitutes and thats a load of shit. Yes there are several ProDominas on this site, but in a lot of cases their service is a good service to the BDSM as a whole because there are not enough FemDoms to go around with the mass numbers of male submissives. You however come across as a child whining because you havent taken the time or put the effort into asking around or even looking around to find a lifestyle Domme versus a Pro. Often times too many of the ProDominas are looking for or will end up in a 24/7 fulltime relationship with a submissive or a Master.

Now usually in most cases I will not jump to defend a Pro because it is not a lifestyle choice that I make, but in this case a flat out bashing of someone because of their job and then lumping everyone else into that catagory is crap. Then to say you yourself are looking for a Domme, you're right to want to go to another site because IMO you've just insulted and dumped on the FemDoms here and no longer belong. Pro or Not a woman is a woman and there is a level of respect to be given to a Top period and you've shown a disreguard for that respect in your mannerisms, maybe you could go back to the sandbox and dig your head out of a pile because you obviously left the respecting parts of yourself back there somewhere.

(in reply to theRose4U)

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:02:22 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
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and yep I did take the offensive with this one because I do happen to believe when you're new somewhere you dont just jump off on insulting.... period. That doesnt mean ok after you've been around a while you should either but dayum....

Sorry to be such a grump about it but its something I feel pretty strongly about and I dont appreciate being lumped into the same group as a prostitute and I highly doubt a lot of other women do either.... ( and thats the part I take the most offence to)

(in reply to theRose4U)

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:03:06 AM

sabswife

Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

i can't think of anywhere else i have found on that net that embraces all possible aspects of bdsm and D/s then this one, if you don't see right away the people you personally connect with--- look harder, because they are out there. i am pretty new here, but i have made friends, and quickly-- without being a sex worker....

making a snap decision about collarme without taking the time to see it for what it really is-- is your loss.

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:15:15 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
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I also feel a need to say that just because someone is a Pro does NOT mean they have sex with their clients. Yes they are providing a fetish kink to that client but they arnet just going to jump their cock n ride em to kingdom come. To say they are sex workers is IMO foul and it just shows your true lack of knowledge of what a Pro is. Ignorance breeds hatred, so please refrain from spreading it here.

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:17:34 AM

bklynbbw

Posts: 147
Joined: 10/19/2005
Status: offline

you mean all these years i could have gotten paid for what i did......why didnt anyone tell me ...... lol

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:19:15 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
These boards seem to be people interacting..........maybe I missed the money changing hands......lol

Psssst *Hands her a brown envolope under the table, a la New Labour style*

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:45:04 AM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Haddaway

<snip>I did mention that I dont want to impinge on Pro Dommes etc right to advertize here as this is clearly a site desinged for this <snip>

<snip>If anything what I have done is really more similar to coming to a fishing club with a pair of bowling shoes on. In which case one would expect the fishermen to direct me to a bowling club and I see no reason why they should take offence.<snip>

I would like you to clarify what you mean by 'clearly a site designed for this'. Perhaps it is all in your perception. What I see the site designed for...as it relates to me...is a sharing of information. Then again, you obviously don't spend any time on this side of CM so perhaps you aren't all that aware of how the 'community' was designed to work over here. First lesson: Look, listen, learn...then speak.

And you really didn't just walk into a fishing club with bowling shoes on. You walked in, stomped all over the toes of the fishermen with your ugly bowling shoes, then proceeded to ask for help in the form of a backhanded insult. Is it really so surprising that you felt the sharp end of their...er...hooks?

With the lack of profile, the minimal time invested, the snide remarks and yucky attitude, all you've managed to portray of yourself is, "I'm not really looking to talk, share or listen. I just want what I want now and I don't want to have to pay for it or invest in it in any way, shape or form!" It has the distinct taste of a cheap 'do-me' sub and I can't imagine what a Domina would see in that. But, stranger things have been known to happen.

Happy trails, bub. Good luck.

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:50:55 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca
With the lack of profile, the minimal time invested, the snide remarks and yucky attitude, all you've managed to portray of yourself is, "I'm not really looking to talk, share or listen. I just want what I want now and I don't want to have to pay for it or invest in it in any way, shape or form!" It has the distinct taste of a cheap 'do-me' sub and I can't imagine what a Domina would see in that. But, stranger things have been known to happen.

Happy trails, bub. Good luck.

*applauds* well said indeed!

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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 8:58:11 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca

I would like you to clarify what you mean by 'clearly a site designed for this'. Perhaps it is all in your perception. What I see the site designed for...as it relates to me...is a sharing of information. Then again, you obviously don't spend any time on this side of CM so perhaps you aren't all that aware of how the 'community' was designed to work over here. First lesson: Look, listen, learn...then speak.

And you really didn't just walk into a fishing club with bowling shoes on. You walked in, stomped all over the toes of the fishermen with your ugly bowling shoes, then proceeded to ask for help in the form of a backhanded insult. Is it really so surprising that you felt the sharp end of their...er...hooks?

With the lack of profile, the minimal time invested, the snide remarks and yucky attitude, all you've managed to portray of yourself is, "I'm not really looking to talk, share or listen. I just want what I want now and I don't want to have to pay for it or invest in it in any way, shape or form!" It has the distinct taste of a cheap 'do-me' sub and I can't imagine what a Domina would see in that. But, stranger things have been known to happen.

Happy trails, bub. Good luck.

BRAVO! Very well said.

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