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RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 9:57:40 AM   
Haddaway


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

I also feel a need to say that just because someone is a Pro does NOT mean they have sex with their clients. Yes they are providing a fetish kink to that client but they arnet just going to jump their cock n ride em to kingdom come. To say they are sex workers is IMO foul and it just shows your true lack of knowledge of what a Pro is. Ignorance breeds hatred, so please refrain from spreading it here.


I didnt realize the term 'sex worker' actually has to mean prostitute who has penetrative sex and neither did I think or say that Pro Dommes have penatrative sex with their clients.    I thought that sex worker is just a general term in which Pro Dommes fall in as part of the gamut of sex workers such as phone sex operaters, Domination phone sex operaters, strippers, prostitutes, porn actors and so on so I apologize for thinking that a Pro Domme was a sex worker.  Im sorry, I assumed that the reason people paid to see a Pro Domme was to pay to get their sexual fantasies fulfilled.  Im sorry for my ignorance, at least I am learning here, I suppose thats one good thing for me.


< Message edited by Haddaway -- 5/15/2006 9:59:14 AM >

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 10:06:31 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		If you get to know me and my posts, you'll see that I quite often put the word -community- in quotes. I'm in total disagreement that everyone involved in the lifestyle are in any way a community. I find the concept laughable at best. I'll be the first to dispute that someone can find even so much as one common interest that we all share.

As for the money thing, there are dozens of threads on that topic, so I'm not even going there.

As for pointing you in the right direction.... which I'm guessing was the point of the OP... Well, that'd be difficult since I don't know your interests, beliefs, and proclivities in the lifestyle. Maybe you could make a lengthy post about what type of community you are specifically seeking out besides "making friends in the scene". Are you more interested in fetish play or power exchange? Do you want a heterosexual community? Homosexual? Bi? Are you looking for people in a certain age group? Goreans? Vampires? High or low protocol? Sexually inclined or more platonic? Kink specific? Real time interaction or online?

You aren't even wearing bowling shoes, but rather a T-shirt that says "Leisure activity."

Narrow down your focus and some of us will be more than happy to point you in the direction you seek. The more general you are in what you seek, the bigger lot of people you'll find. (i.e. you seek "lifestylists" you end up on a website of thousands of people). The more narrow and specifically you are in what you seek, the smaller the group you end up in. (i.e. you seek real-time interaction, with 24/7 FM/ms TPE high protocol, you end up in someone's house 200 miles from home, with 6 other people.)

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 11:25:19 AM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		Haddaway,

I think your initial assesment is absolutely correct.  This site is nothing but whores and pimps.  I think you should close your account on this site and keep looking for one that better reflects your unique style of ignorance and short sightedness.  Furthermore, when you find that elusive 'community' I hope you never, ever tell them about CM.  ... ohhh, and for that matter alt.com or bondage.com either.  Both of those sites are just as bad .. bad, bad, bad!!!

Hey Folks, it was better than my original post that simpy said 'You're an idiot!' - lol

Wickad (and of course that was my opinion)

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 11:32:03 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		The best communities will be those that you find in meatlife and where you can mingle face-to-face. Look for munches or organization near you, near may mean an hour or two away mind you.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 12:49:26 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Haddaway

Im a bit confused,  I am new to this site and pretty much the scene too.  I read the bit that said 'The largest BDSM community on the planet'. So I thought it would be a good idea to join.  I think maybe I was a bit naive to think that that phrase meant what I thought it did which was community as in a group of people having common interests.  What I mean by that is I find that the word 'community' being used here as a bit ambiguos seeing as many if not most of the Domme's (I am looking for a Domme!) that I browsed where looking for some kind of financial or material benefit in different forms be it a Pro Domme or something else, as far as my concern over the word 'Community',  that involves the fact that I have little in common with these people and going by the defenition of what I stated 'Community' actually means, perhaps that that word is a tad ambiguos in its use here for me.  I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviously designed to cater for sex workers in their many forms and their clients so ultimatly I think maybe this place isnt really for me!. 
   Therefor if anyone could point me in the right direction to the communities where people looking for actual freinds in the scene for whom money is not the reason they are interacting I would be very greatfull!.  I notice that there are lots of sites out there for only Pro's and similar where that is the main and often only theme of the site.  So there must logically be places out there that cater for people like myself!.  Anyway, I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviosly the wrong place for me as it seems mostly for sex workers etc while I'm not looking for that so I hope not to offend and Im sorry if I have.
    If you could just point me in the right direction to where I need to be it would be much appreciated!
   

Thanks

Hadd. 


If you have no intention to offend, why do you repeat that 2 or 3 times.
Offending and Judging on your part was quite clear in your post so cut the crap!
 
Leave already if this place is not right for you and do your own research on finding one that is. Oh and don't let the CM door hit you in the Ass on the way out!
 
*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 12:55:31 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mitsu

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Sweety I hate to burst your little pre assumed and frankly ignorant point of view but NO ONE that has replied to you here is a pro.


Ahem!


Sorry dear, in our...ok MY midst I don't think of you as a pro but a peer.

(in reply to mitsu)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 1:06:04 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Haddaway

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Before you continue your search you might learn a little bit about what you're looking for because you've just done the equivalent of walking into a black church in a white sheet and saying christians suck and where can I find someone that's not like "you people".



With all due respect, I dont think it is anything like that.  The klu klux clan are diametrically opposed to blacks.  I did mention that I dont want to impinge on Pro Dommes etc right to advertize here as this is clearly a site desinged for this just like mitsu said mentioning her obsevervation of the majority of women in London who are 20-35 (all be it not outwardly promoted like MisstressSassy66 says).  If anything what I have done is really more similar to coming to a fishing club with a pair of bowling shoes on.  In which case one would expect the fishermen to direct me to a bowling club and I see no reason why they should take offence.


Humm yeah, I shouldn't possibly be upset or bothered by someone walking into a place that I've frequented for quite some time and ASSUME that I'm a whore, prostitute, professional sex worker or any of the other things that your wide brush you've painted every person male & female on here...globally no less...  encompasses. The most amusing part to me is that you want to be a male sub and have in 1 swoop managed to piss off Dommes on at least 6 contintnts...pretty freakin impressive for a newbie.
You're right you're ignorant, have no desire to be educated and aren't worth my time...damn where's that block button and idiot repellent when I need it.


(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 1:07:41 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

Haddaway,

I think your initial assesment is absolutely correct.  This site is nothing but whores and pimps.  I think you should close your account on this site and keep looking for one that better reflects your unique style of ignorance and short sightedness.  Furthermore, when you find that elusive 'community' I hope you never, ever tell them about CM.  ... ohhh, and for that matter alt.com or bondage.com either.  Both of those sites are just as bad .. bad, bad, bad!!!

Hey Folks, it was better than my original post that simpy said 'You're an idiot!' - lol

Wickad (and of course that was my opinion)


Yup second that...would have saved me some typing.

(in reply to Wickad)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 1:10:11 PM   
Haddaway


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

Haddaway,

I think your initial assesment is absolutely correct.  This site is nothing but whores and pimps.  I think you should close your account on this site and keep looking for one that better reflects your unique style of ignorance and short sightedness.  Furthermore, when you find that elusive 'community' I hope you never, ever tell them about CM.  ... ohhh, and for that matter alt.com or bondage.com either.  Both of those sites are just as bad .. bad, bad, bad!!!

Hey Folks, it was better than my original post that simpy said 'You're an idiot!' - lol

Wickad (and of course that was my opinion)


I never used the word whores and pimps.  If Pro Dommes etc is what you really mean then I have already said I dont want to impinge on their right to advertize here to make money as this site is clearly made mainly for but not totally for this purpose from what I and also mitsu have established knowing that for example the majority of Female Dommes in London between 20 -35 are looking for paying customers.   
  With all due respect as much as going on to an actual sexual service site that was portrayed as such and asking where I need to go instead because I thought it was for people looking for partners would be naive and stupid I think that the people there might want to either help or not as opposed to call me an idiot even though they would have more reason to call me an idiot, I am detecting a certain amount of paranioa around here.  Actually speaking of alt. I did once browse there and noticed that the overwhelming majority of Dommes there where advertizing for money in exchange for services.  This is why I am looking for a place thats designed for people looking for a relationship, I cant see why such a concept of a place designed for people looking for partners should seem to offend you.

< Message edited by Haddaway -- 5/15/2006 1:23:20 PM >

(in reply to Wickad)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 1:17:32 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I will be as blunt as possible, Haddy - you are an idiot! 

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 2:10:32 PM   
AHeadMistress


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/28/2004
Status: offline 		Haddaway, I've been following these postings for sometime.  I'm appalled at some of the replies I see here.   I hope they do not serve to make you turn away in disgust from CM.  I don't see how answering a post that appears rude with outright insulting posts does any good. 
How many damn times does Haddaway have to apologize?  Lay off already.   So much ado about nothing....
I saw 2 posts where the people were actually HELPFUL.  LadyHugs comes immediately to mind along with agirl...and there was someone else who actually sort of supported your claim.

Good luck to you Haddy.  You must be very even tempered.


< Message edited by AHeadMistress -- 5/15/2006 2:12:08 PM >

(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 2:13:45 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Haddaway
I cant see why such a concept of a place designed for people looking for partners should seem to offend you.


I don't think that concept offends people.  I strongly suspect that what offends people is you or at least your method of expressing yourself.

But, of course, I've never understood why someone coming to a source of water in the desert and feeling it wasn't as perfect as it should be would shit in it rather than taking a drink anyway.  Do you really think you've impress any potential partner who might have been reading this board?

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 2:32:31 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
These boards seem to be people interacting..........maybe I missed the money changing hands......lol


Psssst *Hands her a brown envolope under the table, a la New Labour style*



Snatches your hand off......with a cute John Prescott smile (ewww) .Do I get a title along with that?..

tee hee



(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 2:45:59 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I didnt realize the term 'sex worker' actually has to mean prostitute who has penetrative sex and neither did I think or say that Pro Dommes have penatrative sex with their clients.    I thought that sex worker is just a general term in which Pro Dommes fall in as part of the gamut of sex workers such as phone sex operaters, Domination phone sex operaters, strippers, prostitutes, porn actors and so on so I apologize for thinking that a Pro Domme was a sex worker.  Im sorry, I assumed that the reason people paid to see a Pro Domme was to pay to get their sexual fantasies fulfilled.  Im sorry for my ignorance, at least I am learning here, I suppose thats one good thing for me.


Do you honestly think that someone will genuinely feel that you are trying to learn something here when your every comment is dripping with disdain, especially in response to someone that you are so called looking for? Take your narrowminded ass down the road because you do not belong here.
 
I really do hope that the other FemDoms FemSwitches take a real good look at this morons general disrespect to women, but yet he says he wants one *laugh*.
 
On a serious note, boys if you happen to come across this, here is a shining and PRIME example of why FemDoms and FemSwitches do not reply or answer people that fall outside of their guidelines. Also a good example of a reason why male submissives catch a bad wrap as a whole and why most of the Ladies here arent exactly friendly.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 2:57:08 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AHeadMistress
Haddaway, I've been following these postings for sometime.  I'm appalled at some of the replies I see here.   I hope they do not serve to make you turn away in disgust from CM.  I don't see how answering a post that appears rude with outright insulting posts does any good. 
How many damn times does Haddaway have to apologize?  Lay off already.   So much ado about nothing....
I saw 2 posts where the people were actually HELPFUL.  LadyHugs comes immediately to mind along with agirl...and there was someone else who actually sort of supported your claim.

Good luck to you Haddy.  You must be very even tempered.



As soon as an apology that isnt dripping with backhanded further insults then maybe it'll be accepted!!!!!!! Grand thought huh that a COMMUNITY of people expect a normal courtesy that most would extend to a dog.... respect. Oh but wait I forgot everyone here are cyber people and dont really exist anyhow, and I forgot that this isnt a lifestyle based on respect. Silly me for being offended by a retard with a keyboard and a general disrespect of all people here. I guess we ALL must learn that this ignorant behavior is the way the BDSM and Community are supposed to be run huh?
 
All hail AHeadMistress because she's the only one that has a true understanding of the BDSM that we are just supposed to embrace and adore some idiot that slings shit at everyone.
 
 
*laughs* it never ceases to amaze me at what kind of people come out of the woodwork to support other idiots.

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 3:25:01 PM   
Haddaway


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AHeadMistress

Haddaway, I've been following these postings for sometime.  I'm appalled at some of the replies I see here.   I hope they do not serve to make you turn away in disgust from CM.  I don't see how answering a post that appears rude with outright insulting posts does any good. 
How many damn times does Haddaway have to apologize?  Lay off already.   So much ado about nothing....
I saw 2 posts where the people were actually HELPFUL.  LadyHugs comes immediately to mind along with agirl...and there was someone else who actually sort of supported your claim.

Good luck to you Haddy.  You must be very even tempered.



To be honest, I thought that I was being polite.  I did a number of times say that I didnt want to impinge on Pro Dommes etc right to advertize here for business then ask if there was anywhere I could go that was geared for people looking for relationships, I think its a little bit of a shame that people take such offence at this.  As far as being very even tempered, Im not in the slightest offended anyway for that to be a issue.  All I see is people getting wound up reading into my words far too much such as where relfectivesoul quotes my post and interprets it to be dripping with disdain.  I did infact in that quote however apologize for wrongly thinking that a Pro Domme is a form of sex worker seeing as I originally thought they are paid to fullfill clients sexual fantasies, I dont know how many times I have to apologize for this until people realize I am actually sorry!.  She accuses me of having general lack of respect for women but I really cant see what that means seeing as like I have already said I dont have a problem with Pro Dommes etc advertizing here for business while Pro Dommes etc is not the sum of women anyway.  As far as I see it people think I am being offensive by saying that a site is mainly full of Pro Dommes my age is not for me.  From this I can detect a certain element of paranioa seeing as if I tell someone Im not into the same style of music they can manage to live with that.  Oh well, *shrugs*.

(in reply to AHeadMistress)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 3:48:26 PM   
Haddaway


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		Oh and I nearly forgot to mention!, thanks to all the people who have helped of course!

(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 4:01:29 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

As far as I see it people think I am being offensive by saying that a site is mainly full of Pro Dommes my age is not for me. 


Here's a clue, and the first one is free. That's about the 4th or 5th time you mentioned that this site is 'mainly full of Pro Dommes'. How do you suppose all the submissives feel to be completely and utterly discounted in one fell swoop. I don't charge, I don't pay so I don't matter? Of course, I don't matter to 'you' because you can't get anything from me.. but guess what.. I am here and so are a lot of other female submissives/slaves. The site is just 'full' of us in fact, so collarme does not 'mainly cater to Pro Dommes' .. it's here for everyone.. it's just that not everyone can help you get whatever it is you think you're going to get. So, fuck the rest of us. We don't count. Rather insulting, no?

You are discounting everyone BUT Pro-dommes and people get offended by being shoved away as if they don't exist. Or how about all the dominants, both male and female who don't fall into your sweeping generalization? You apologized for calling pro-dommes sex workers, but apologies come from the heart, not with explanations as to WHY you insulted in the first place then continue to do so over and over again. If you think your words were misinterpreted as being disdainful and insincere, it's generally the fault of the writer in getting their true point across.. not the fault of the masses who just didn't 'get' what you had to say. In other words, that's your bad for not saying what you meant to say without coming off as an arrogant ass.

Oh, and by the way, apologies with caveats are not apologies at all. They are insincere at best. You don't 'have' to apologize if you think you didn't do anything wrong.. but thinking you are right and going ahead and apologizing anyway is hypocritical and you won't be believed.

All clear now?

You've already said that this site is full of Pro Dommes.. and if that's all you see it's because that's all you want to see. You've already said it's not for you.. we're not 'your kind of people'.. so, why are you still here? Do you just want to stick around to continue to insult people or what?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 4:20:29 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Snatches your hand off......with a cute John Prescott smile (ewww) .Do I get a title along with that?..

tee hee



Just toss the hand in the trunk with the rest, put the money in the safe, and come back to bed. I'm not finished with you yet.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: I think Im a bit lost here! - 5/15/2006 4:36:31 PM   
MichMasochist


Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Haddaway

Im a bit confused,  I am new to this site and pretty much the scene too.  I read the bit that said 'The largest BDSM community on the planet'. So I thought it would be a good idea to join.  I think maybe I was a bit naive to think that that phrase meant what I thought it did which was community as in a group of people having common interests.  What I mean by that is I find that the word 'community' being used here as a bit ambiguos seeing as many if not most of the Domme's (I am looking for a Domme!) that I browsed where looking for some kind of financial or material benefit in different forms be it a Pro Domme or something else, as far as my concern over the word 'Community',  that involves the fact that I have little in common with these people and going by the defenition of what I stated 'Community' actually means, perhaps that that word is a tad ambiguos in its use here for me.  I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviously designed to cater for sex workers in their many forms and their clients so ultimatly I think maybe this place isnt really for me!. 
    Therefor if anyone could point me in the right direction to the communities where people looking for actual freinds in the scene for whom money is not the reason they are interacting I would be very greatfull!.  I notice that there are lots of sites out there for only Pro's and similar where that is the main and often only theme of the site.  So there must logically be places out there that cater for people like myself!.  Anyway, I dont mean to offend anyone seeing as this site is obviosly the wrong place for me as it seems mostly for sex workers etc while I'm not looking for that so I hope not to offend and Im sorry if I have.
     If you could just point me in the right direction to where I need to be it would be much appreciated!
    

Thanks

Hadd. 


Welcome. Your observations are completely correct. I only ask if you find such a site please do share the secret with me.


< Message edited by MichMasochist -- 5/15/2006 4:38:46 PM >

(in reply to Haddaway)
Profile   Post #: 60
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