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RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/14/2011 4:16:24 PM   
SternSkipper


Posts: 7546
Joined: 3/7/2004
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Everybody Sing along:
"Who's that knocking at my door? Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?" said the fair Young Maiden. "It's me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."It's me and my crew and we've come for a screw!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor. Alternate Responses: "It's only me from over the sea" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."It's only me from over the sea" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor. "Open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."Open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor. "Open the door, you dirty whore!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."Open the door, you dirty whore!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"What if I should lock the door? What if I should lock the door?
What if I should lock the door?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"I'll smash the lock with my diamond-hard cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll smash the lock with my diamond-hard cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"What if my parents should come home? What if my parents come home?
What if my parents should come home?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"I'll kill your pa and then fuck your ma!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll kill your pa and then fuck your ma!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Are you young and handsome, Sir? Are you young and handsome, Sir?"
Are you young and handsome, Sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'm old and rough and dirty and tough!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"What is your intention, sir? What is your intention, sir?
What is your intention, sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Will you take me to the dance? Will you take me to the dance?
Will you take me to the dance?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"To Hell with the dance! Now off with your pants!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."To Hell with the dance! Now off with your pants!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Will you vow to marry me? Will you vow to marry me?
Will you vow to marry me?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"No, we won't wed. Getcher ass in the bed!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."No, we won't wed. Getcher ass in the bed!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"What's that thing between your legs? What's that thing between your legs?
What's that thing between your legs?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"It's only me pole to shove in your holes!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."It's only me pole to shove in your holes!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"What if I should have a child? What if I should have a child?
What if I should have a child?" said the fair Young Maiden. "We'll smother the bugger and fuck for another!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."We'll smother the bugger and fuck for another!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
Alternate Response: "I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll open your crack, and shove it right back!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if we should have a boy? What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll take him to sea, teach him to fuck like me!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"What if we should have a girl? What if we should have a girl?
What if we should have a girl?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"What if you should go to jail? What if you should go to jail?
What if you should go to jail?" said the fair Young Maiden.
"I'll smash down the walls with my forty-pound balls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll smash down the walls with my forty-pound balls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor. Alternate Response: "I'll pick the lock with me wagglin' cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

“What if you should get the gas? What if you should get the gas?
What if you should get the gas?” said the fair Young Maiden.
"I'll stuff the gas right up my ass!” said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll stuff the gas right up my ass!” said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if you should get the chair? What if you should get the chair?
What if you should get the chair?" said the fair Young Maiden. "I'll lay a fart and blow it apart!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll lay a fart and blow it apart!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor. Alternate Response: "I'll absorb the shock with my steel-hard cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor."I'll absorb the shock with my steel-hard cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.


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RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/14/2011 4:21:13 PM   
FelineFae


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Here's a cute version of a Rugby tune i've picked up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GutnwiNsPU&feature=youtu.be

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RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/14/2011 4:38:39 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
Forgot to add name and title: Melissa Ferrick doing Drive

Not dirty in the least, but very sexy.


http://youtu.be/OsG-eN96fVc

"If you want this
if you want this
if you want this, you�re gonna have to ask
nicely please
yeah if you want this
you�re gonna have to ask me
you�re gonna have to ask me

Whatever you want
I�ll give it to you
I�ll give it to you slowly
�till you�re just begging me to hold you
ya whatever you want
whatever you want
but you�re gonna have to ask me

Your mouth waters
stretched out on my bed
your fingers are trembling
and your heart is heavy and red
and your head is bent back
and your back is arched
my hand is under there
holding you up

I�ll hold you up
and drive you all night
I�ll hold you up
and drive you baby �till you feel the daylight
I�ll hold you up
and drive you all night
I�ll hold you up
and drive you �till you feel the daylight
that�s right
that�s right

In the kitchen
in the shower
and in the back seat of my car
I�ll hold you up
in your office
preferably during business hours
�cause you know how I like it when there�s people around
and I know how you like it
yeah I know how you like it
I know how you like it when I tease you for hours

Your mouth waters
stretched out on my bed
your fingers are trembling
and your heart is heavy and red
and your head is bent back
and your back is arched
and my hand is under there
holding you up

I�ll hold you up
and drive you all night
I�ll hold you up
and drive you baby �till you feel the daylight
I�ll hold you up
and drive you all night
I�ll hold you up
and drive you �till you feel the daylight
oh and this has just begun

Yeah this has just begun
because we haven�t even gotten started yet
I haven�t even
I haven�t even tied you up
I haven�t even turned you over
this is where I want to live
right here between your hips
where all the love you hold and hide
it�s where it lives
right here between your hips
this is where I want to live
it�s where all the love you give exists

Your mouth waters
stretched out on my bed
your fingers are trembling
and your heart is heavy and red
your head is bent back
your back is arched
my hand is under there
holding you up

I�ll hold you up
and drive you all night
I�ll hold you up
and drive you baby �till you feel the daylight
I�ll hold you up
and drive you all night
I�ll hold you up
and drive you baby ��till you feel the daylight
that�s right
yeah
that�s right
that�s right
that�s right
I�ll hold you up
that�s right
that�s right
I�ll drive you all night"


< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 6/14/2011 5:04:30 PM >


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RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/14/2011 4:53:55 PM   
mynxkat


Posts: 240
Joined: 5/7/2011
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Well, it's far from the dirtiest, but one of the all time sexiest songs, IMO, is Deeper, by Nine Inch Nails.

Far as dirty goes.... The Jolly Rogers with 'The Ladies All Loved Me.' It's a fun one, full of very thinly veiled innuendos. 'A Port in Every Girl' is another one of theirs that's funny and quite dirty.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/15/2011 2:10:22 PM   
PhillyNewGirl


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/14/2011
Status: offline
Probably Kelis's "girl version" of The Whisper Song:

Hey how you doing lil daddy let me whisper in ya in ear...i like how you sippin on that belvediere, got a sexy ass body and ya tongue look soft..just the right type of shit to get me off, and i ain't playin and i know you will, you got gold teeth now shine ya grill and they say closed mouth don't give in
so i don't mind askin for bread
you heard what i said
you want me to get in your bed
you can lick it while i'm grabbin you dread
you like to fuck
well i like to put my legs in a buck
do it up and let it licked all in my butt
switch positions, let me sit on your face
while i nut you gon love to taste
you might had somethin
but you never had nothin like this
just wait til you taste my clit

ay boy wait til you taste my clit
wait til you taste my clit
ay boy wait til you taste my clit
you gon eat this pussy up

eat the pussy up, eat the pussy up
eat the pussy up, eat the pussy up
eat the pussy up, eat the pussy up
you gon eat this pussy up

like uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah

you fine but i aint gon sweat cha
see you wanna fuck
i want you to suck
walk around the club with a straw in your mouth
put my kitty in, eat me out
that might be a little hard to deal with
i might fall in love if you make me spill quick
keep me on hot while you puttin in work
i'ma skeet skeet skeet while you make it slurp
just eat this cat like a dog
don't stop til you hear me go oooohhh and ohhhh
yea somethin like that

but i got you real good if you can do it from the back
eat my pussy in the shower when its clean and fat
I don't need no soap just lick my crack
my crack, my crack
put cha whole face in it yea just like that

ay boy wait til you taste my clit
wait til you taste my clit
ay boy wait til you taste my clit
you gon eat this pussy up

eat the pussy up, eat the pussy up
eat the pussy up, eat the pussy up
eat the pussy up, eat the pussy up
you gon eat this pussy up

like uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah uh ah

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/15/2011 3:50:47 PM   
adventurestobeha


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/31/2011
Status: offline
There's this video gem by Buck Naked and the Barebottom Boys called: Up Your Butt


in fact anything by the late Phil Bury (Buck) will most likely be "dirty" in the lyric department. They are lyrics though that, for those not marred within by sexual-repression and the constraints of social mores, will make you chuckle within and feel a little something as well on the outside.

Here's a few more links to songs by Buck and the band. . .

Sit on my Face and there's an actual video you can see for Teenage Pussy From Outer Space and catch the Joan Rivers Show appearance Buck made as well here.

If you are a Cramps fan, then you should like Buck - rest his soul. . . although it looks like there is currently a drag king using the name Buck Naked - Buck's career can be found out about here: Wikipedia about Buck

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/16/2011 7:43:20 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
Another favorite, and also performed by a female. How convenient!

Lick - Joi Campbell

I lose all control
When you grab a hold
And you do your trick
I love it when you...Lick
Lick

You got lock and key
Every part of me
Know what makes me tick
I love it when you... Lick
Lick

I'll put my heels on for you baby oooh
Ones that'll wrap all around my leg
Your every touch excites me
And damn it I ain't too proud to beg
And even when you're not around me
The tingling just won't go away
Don't make my body wait no longer
Because this pussycat's here to play

It feels so good I'm going crazy
My eyes roll back inside my head
Explore my inner walls of pleasure
And hold on tight, hope you ain't scared
I promise I'll return the favor
I'll do that trick you can't resist


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RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/18/2011 3:36:58 AM   
BendingGender


Posts: 176
Joined: 1/15/2007
Status: offline
Again, not the dirtiest... but they're fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J0utfYWJvg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu-hK10aApY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8A88GyEWG14

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RE: Dirtiest song you have ever heard? - 6/18/2011 2:34:30 PM   
adventurestobeha


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Joined: 5/31/2011
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i cannot believe i forgot about The Dwarves - who generally are pretty raunchy on all songs - the video is called FEFU and this stands for Fuck Eat & Fuck You Up and can be witnessed here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR0aPlCVjGM if you are at work this is NSFW by any means unless maybe you work in an adult book shop or some other place fairly liberal about S and M imagery, naked flesh and copious amounts of foul language. After the upcoming colon, shall be the link to youTube for those who are curious about one of the largest freakshow spectacles i've ever had the distinct pleasure of witnessing. Beware though, The Dwarves are Thee Very Underbelly of the music industry: The Dwarves - FeFU

Additionally, if you want to preview the lyrics for this song, i've included them below.

They circumcise
They tell you lies
And they get ya
Yea, they take you
Yea, they hate you if you ever wonder why, why

We don’t need no re-education
School’s out, drop out, time for vacation
I’m getting an A in anatomy
It’s doesn’t matter me, the rest is history

I wanna fuck
I wanna fuck
I wanna fuck, eat and fuck you up, yea
I’ve been in love
But that ain’t enough
I wanna fuck, eat and fuck you up

Yea, they take ya
Separate you
And they rape you if you ever wonder why, why

We don’t need no re-education
Classed violence, regeneration
Let them loose in the land of the lilly-white
Their giant appetite, we’re really good tonight

I wanna fuck
I wanna fuck
I wanna fuck, eat and fuck you up, yea
I’ve been in love
But that ain’t enough
I wanna fuck, eat and fuck you up

This life is simple, it’s ain’t complex
We masticate, then we fight and sex
It all comes down to just those three
That’s enough for us, that’s enough for me
That’s enough for me [7x]
That’s enough!

I wanna fuck
I wanna fuck
I need a ride but, they need it stuffed, yea
I got no love for those who suck
I wanna fuck, eat and fuck you up

I wanna fuck!


(in reply to BendingGender)
Profile   Post #: 49
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