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Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 3:07:03 PM   
Acephale


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Public humiliation is out of the question, but I need a suitable punishment for his disobedience. He has masturbated without my permission. I'd like inflict upon him something both physical and mental. Since I am a novice I require your advice, but I have constructed a punishment of my own.

I will have him sit in a tub of cold water for 10 minutes or have him place his balls in a cup of ice (for a shorter period of time as to not cause any kind of damage.) I will require photographic evidence as proof. I would then like him to record himself reciting a degrading piece of literature written by myself after having just consumed the entirety of a hot pepper. He will have no access to fluid until the recording is finished. If he fails to complete this he will be required to repeat until he is successful.

Be gentle ladies, this is my first punishment and I am more than open to your advice.

FYI: This is an on-line relationship.

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The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.
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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:24:06 PM   
Acephale


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Oh for fucks sake, 40 views and no responses. Is this really that bad?

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The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:25:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Yes.

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:26:27 PM   
Acephale


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fml

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The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:27:29 PM   
mnottertail


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I'd rather have him listen to Der Ring Das Nebulungen.

But then I am strict like that. Hateful motherfucker.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:35:03 PM   
Acephale


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Well I can't learn if you don't teach me now can I? I'm setting up an appointment with someone I met on here in hopes of getting this shit down to a science, but in the mean time...

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The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:37:39 PM   
mnottertail


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Hey, the world don't owe you a livin laddie buck.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:40:33 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acephale
I will have him sit in a tub of cold water for 10 minutes or have him place his balls in a cup of ice (for a shorter period of time as to not cause any kind of damage.) I will require photographic evidence as proof. I would then like him to record himself reciting a degrading piece of literature written by myself after having just consumed the entirety of a hot pepper. He will have no access to fluid until the recording is finished. If he fails to complete this he will be required to repeat until he is successful.
If this doesn't work, drop him, and find another online sub. M


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"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:41:17 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


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Well obviously the desire to serve you, isnt all that important, instead of thinking up of 100 and one ways to destroy someones life... through punishment

Try having a conversation and asking... why...


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"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:41:32 PM   
mnottertail


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I woulda kicked that bitch to the curb at hello.  

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:44:17 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
I woulda kicked that bitch to the curb at hello.
You only say that, because she wasn't in person, doing the deed ordered of her.

When menz try to ask to serve me online, I say sure! If you can figure out how to do the dishes from where you are. M


< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 6/14/2011 9:46:08 PM >


_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:45:50 PM   
mnottertail


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Well, suck me off with a breast pump.  I feel so vulnerable.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 9:47:20 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


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Well hell, I didn't even think of that option. You so crazy! M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 11:14:43 PM   
richfrist


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Whoa Whoa Whoa!, where did all this hate come from?   I think that Acephale's punishment is perfectly appropriate under the circumstances and frankly I am a bit surprised that she came up with it right out of the starting gate.   The cold bath is quite appropriate for the horny little sub who had to jerk it without her permission.   I thinkthe literature reading is a good way to personalize the experience since it is on online relationship and she cannot be there for him to feel her witnessing it.  Further, I think the hot pepper adds a measured amount of discomfort which may provide some deterrent from future mishaps.  
Acephale, this is between you and your sub, If YOU feel its appropriate, then go for it.   Since its on online relationship he can always call out his safe-word by not performing the punishment.  Then you can check in with him and discuss what might be his limits.    

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)
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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/14/2011 11:22:02 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


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Hate?! I got nothing but love for you babe.

MY position was: if he doesn't obey, trade him in for another online submissive.

You see, online subs are completely useless to me. How about you? M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 6/14/2011 11:36:11 PM >


_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to richfrist)
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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/15/2011 12:03:38 AM   
richfrist


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SexyBossyBBW  -  well although I've switched, I identify myself as a sub.   Nevertheless, as a sub, I've found that online can work sometimes for me... particularly when I have met the person in real life before.... or as a precursor to meeting in RL.  I think its probably very difficult to develop the trust you need to have in your Domme, without having looked him/her in the eye before, but I don't think its impossible.  

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/15/2011 12:19:12 AM   
undergroundsea


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From: Austin, TX
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I think your ideas for punishment are creative and will indeed cause discomfort. I appreciate that you are thinking about things like safety. I do not know what amount of time is safe for immersing in ice. And I do not know how this amount of time differs across the testicles versus any other part of the body. Unless you know someone who has reliable expertise, I think the cold bath would be the better option; it would remove the question about the ice and it would bring discomfort to more than just the balls. For example, the torso might feel equally uncomfortable in cold water. Doing something to the water (soaking socks in it first) could add a mental dimension to it.

I think the pepper part will cause discomfort and is also creative. I cannot immediately think of any gotchas unless the sub has ulcers, but I base this statement not on any detailed knowledge and simply my experience with eating peppers. I regularly eat spicy food and could handle a pepper, so my input is skewed towards tolerance..

In general, I think asking about safety of a technique on a message board is not always reliable; in the past I have seen people chime in to say an activity is safe without really knowing it. And some people will say they have done it without any consequence, which does not mean that they would not face a consequence if they tried it again, or that differences in bodies and body chemistry might not lead to a consequence for someone else. It helps if the question is asked to someone with reliable expertise, either by adequate experience or by professional knowledge.

While many or most people prefer real time relationships, there is also value in online relationships, whether for sake of starting out, or whether for sake of circumstances. BDSM covers many types of activities. Some can be done effectively despite a distance and online interaction only. It seems you are finding those things and that is fair enough.

I am glad you are thinking about safety  and wanting to learn. As for the person with whom you have set an appointment to learn, one point I wish to leave with you is that there are people who present self as an expert to either feed their ego, or for sake of some agenda. So it would be a good idea to pick the teacher wisely, and to seek people who are regarded as an expert by others versus by self-acclaim only. I think the best way to learn is to become involved in the local BDSM community and seek to learn from those who impress you with their conduct and skill.

Lastly, there is a philosophical question about punishment; what is your objective with the punishment and how does your sub view the punishment you are proposing. If your objective is funishment (punishment done in the spirit of BDSM as fun and games), I think you are spot on. If your objective is punishment (to genuinely and specifically prevent future such occurrences), we cannot know whether the ideas will have the desired effect.

Even if he feels discomfort, he might enjoy those activities for sake of SM. If he does, he will have reason to repeat the offense rather than avoid it. If your objective is to avoid it, I do not know enough about the situation to say whether it will work. If you have him do these activities naked and you see an erection, there is a good chance you will see a repeat offense.

One of the prior posts suggests talking to him to ask him why he broke the rule; I think that suggestion is a good idea.

As for whether to dump him or not, no one in this thread knows about the sub and the situation as much as you do. I don't think one infraction is necessarily reason to dump him. But if you find that he is deliberately disobeying in a disrespectful or manipulative (to manipulate you into punishing him) manner, and there is no fun in it for you, the question about moving on becomes a legitimate one.

I wish you well with your exploration.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 6/15/2011 12:24:03 AM >

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/15/2011 12:37:25 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
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Acephale,

Okay.  Possibly to the chagrin of others, I'm going to give you a serious answer.

After reading your OP, my first thought was "what are you trying to accomplish"?  The submissive broke an agreement the two of you made and it seems you're disappointed by this.  If that's the issue, then I highly doubt the "punishment" you've devised will have much effect.  When there are issues of this sort between D/s partners (online or otherwise), usually straightforward communication is required.  You could ask the submissive to explain why he broke the agreement and you yourself can explain why you're disappointed and whatever other feelings you have.  Get more feedback from him and make adjustments so this doesn't happen again.

Only you can decide, based on what the two of you agreed to and on the feedback you get, what the seriousness of the infraction is and what actions you should take.  It's possible your submissive broke the agreement simply to get attention and if that's the case, giving him the kind of play punishment you've described is, in my opinion, the totally wrong approach.  You'll just get more bad behaviour because you will, in effect, be rewarding him for the behaviour.

I suggest restating expectations, having the submissive repeat these, and asking if there are any issues that might prevent your submissive from doing as asked.  Set reasonable expectations, not idiotic ones.  Now, true enough, if you say "no masturbating without permission", that's clear and, depending on the submissive, it may be easy to follow.  But, keep in mind that unless this achieves some kind of mutual goal and this goal is clear to both of you, it will be harder for him to follow a blind command.  In fantasy D/s, the dominant issues a command and the submissive need not know why.  Makes for hot literature.  In real life, people usually perform better when they understand what is going on and what the goals are.  Your goal may simply be to take control of his sexuality because it suits you to do so.  Fair enough.  If you've not explained this to him, I suggest doing so and I also suggest finding out if he wants to grant this kind of control to you.

You generally cannot force a submissive to do something they don't want to do.  Yes, this goes against the pseudo-rulebooks, but that's the reality of human relationships of this sort.  Therefore, if you've not done so already, I suggest having a chat about what you want and expect, and see how this lines up with your submissive's desires.  As long as the two of your are reasonably on the same page, you can guide this boy toward what you want.  But, if the two of you want completely different things, you're fighting a losing battle.  And really, who wants to "fight" in their BDSM relationships anyway?  This should be about exploring together, supporting one another, and having fun working toward mutual and reciprocal goals.

Now, having said all of this, I'll approach from a different angle.  Perhaps you really do want to do a play punishment scene with this boy because it turns you on to do so or because you want to see him jump through hoops you set up.  That's fine, but realize this is play and not actually problem solving.  It's possible some small modicum of problem solving could be involved in the play, but I suggest keeping play for play's sake and problem solving as a separate activity.

So... you want to put him "on ice" (literally), have him take pictures, and, after he eats a red pepper, have him recite humiliating literature you've written and only after he finishes is he allowed fluids to rinse his mouth.  Hmmm.  I see at least two issues with this plan.  First, continued exposure to ice will burn the skin.  I'm talking about cold burns.  Thus, as you've noted, you'll want to be careful as to how you expose him to this.  Short periods may work, but you'll have to devise a mechanism to measure his reactions and to ensure he removes himself from the ice periodically.  Second, regarding the pepper, have you ever eaten a super hot pepper?  I have (mistakenly) and I couldn't read or do anything!  My mouth burned so badly that even significant amounts of milk and water did little to help.  As an alternative to the pepper, you could have him wash his mouth with soap and only allow him to rinse when he's completed his task.  Toothpaste is another alternative as this isn't nice to have in ones mouth for long periods of time.

If you have a desired outcome but also set up the situation so failure is quite possible, this is something you should consider how to deal with.  Just bitch-slapping someone for failing generally builds resentment so I'd figure out how to encourage success and how to deal with failure in a supportive, fair way so that if your submissive has to try again, he feels empowered by you and supported by you.

Good luck,

Elan.

(in reply to Acephale)
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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/15/2011 12:38:56 AM   
ElanSubdued


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*looks up*

Sea, you beat me to the punch while I was composing.  Sassy little bitch! :-)

Elan.

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RE: Severe Punishment - 6/15/2011 12:49:34 AM   
ExquisiteStings


Posts: 391
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To Acephale:
This brings back memories of fear factor; with the hot pepper that is. How hot will the pepper be? A jalapeno? A chile/chili (not sure of the spelling on that one)...or a good old habanero? Thing is: you gotta make sure he has no kind of gastro intestinal disorder before you make him consume a hot pepper> or there could be serious consequences; esp if he has an ulcer. You gotta take these things into consideration before you order someone to do something.

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
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