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Ive been waiting for an opportunity to use THIS... thanks for providing it.

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

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that not only closes the doors to newcomers but also opens the door for people to say whatever they like in a place you so love

That is simply untrue. I'm new here, and not one door has been anything but wide open to me. Hanners is new, and even though she's, well, Hanners. No doors have been closed to her either.

If these people will accept her, then they are by definition very accepting. If Hanners can be part of this place and you can't, I think the answer lies with you somehow. I mean she's the poster child for "In your face, unpopular opinions being very rudely shoved down your throat" postings, and yet somehow....

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If you need validation from an online community that you cannot find in yourself, you need a better GPS.

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1




But for the OP to post something like this, and others like him, is just ridiculous. If you need validation from an online community that you cannot find in yourself, you need a better GP.

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

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If you need validation from an online community that you cannot find in yourself, you need a better GPS.

It's not so much validation, as acceptance. Think about it, you'll take the time to answer my questions, correct me when I've got something wrong, confirm things when I've got them right. How much of that would you be willing to do in person with an 18 year old girl who blushes all the time, says "like" every third sentence, and giggles, stutters and stammers with nervousness when trying to speak seriously about something?

In real life you'd all probably just think I was an annoyingly immature, silly little teenager, but here I'm an earnest newbie wanting to learn. I'm both, but here I get taken seriously, out there, you probably wouldn't take the time. I'm comfortable talking to a woman of your age and experience on here, I can address you as an equal, but in person I'd be so intimidated I'd be tongue-tied and fighting the urge to just burst into tears and run away.

I'd be terrified to speak with most of you face-to-face, but I can do it here, I can joke and laugh, and flirt, and learn. And yes, sometimes even teach, because my words and ideas are listened to here, because they are presented in the same package as everybody else's. So an online "community" can be a very important thing, depending on where one is in life and what you're looking for from that community.

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
It's not so much validation, as acceptance. Think about it, you'll take the time to answer my questions, correct me when I've got something wrong, confirm things when I've got them right. How much of that would you be willing to do in person with an 18 year old girl who blushes all the time, says "like" every third sentence, and giggles, stutters and stammers with nervousness when trying to speak seriously about something?

In real life you'd all probably just think I was an annoyingly immature, silly little teenager, but here I'm an earnest newbie wanting to learn. I'm both, but here I get taken seriously, out there, you probably wouldn't take the time. I'm comfortable talking to a woman of your age and experience on here, I can address you as an equal, but in person I'd be so intimidated I'd be tongue-tied and fighting the urge to just burst into tears and run away.

I'd be terrified to speak with most of you face-to-face, but I can do it here, I can joke and laugh, and flirt, and learn. And yes, sometimes even teach, because my words and ideas are listened to here, because they are presented in the same package as everybody else's. So an online "community" can be a very important thing, depending on where one is in life and what you're looking for from that community.

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I'm comfortable talking to a woman of your age and experience on here, I can address you as an equal, but in person I'd be so intimidated I'd be tongue-tied and fighting the urge to just burst into tears and run away.

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ORIGINAL: DavidLee44UK

red i dont need validation from anybody

i come to a forum to feel i can contribute not to be called a liar etc at every turn and to me the people who do are the ones who need validation from peers etc

but not my prob as wont be coming here much if at all

but if you have to watch what you say do and type 247

then its not a forum

like it or dont theres a lot empire building here

and aren't we all looking for validation from somone from you look nice to that classic line does my bum look good in this

but from post 2 when i was told if i didn't know so and so who was a member of the london scene i was a fake

and the bloke lived across pond lol

im human i have flaws im not perfect god i hope im not perfect

and being bullied isnt the actions of the bully its the perceived bullying by the person that matters

i came here from day 1 to have fun relax not fight my corner from day 1

and if some think thats what a forum is about then dont they need validation to

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
It's not so much validation, as acceptance. Think about it, you'll take the time to answer my questions, correct me when I've got something wrong, confirm things when I've got them right. How much of that would you be willing to do in person with an 18 year old girl who blushes all the time, says "like" every third sentence, and giggles, stutters and stammers with nervousness when trying to speak seriously about something?

In real life you'd all probably just think I was an annoyingly immature, silly little teenager, but here I'm an earnest newbie wanting to learn. I'm both, but here I get taken seriously, out there, you probably wouldn't take the time. I'm comfortable talking to a woman of your age and experience on here, I can address you as an equal, but in person I'd be so intimidated I'd be tongue-tied and fighting the urge to just burst into tears and run away.

I'd be terrified to speak with most of you face-to-face, but I can do it here, I can joke and laugh, and flirt, and learn. And yes, sometimes even teach, because my words and ideas are listened to here, because they are presented in the same package as everybody else's. So an online "community" can be a very important thing, depending on where one is in life and what you're looking for from that community.

Heather, I know you said this to Red, but I want you to know that you don't have to feel this way.  There are lots of us out in the world who would have plenty of fun talking with you someplace other than a computer screen.  There was a strong presence of the younger set at the last munch group that I was associated with helping to form.  The gals that I was out having fun with were your age or a couple of years older. 

I get that you're shy, but you don't have to be intimidated.  There are plenty of folks in the real world that would who would have a great time talking to you.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse



Young people are fun, they have less preconceived notions of how things 'should be'.

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like it or dont theres a lot empire building here

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but if you have to watch what you say do and type 247

then its not a forum

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and aren't we all looking for validation from somone from you look nice to that classic line does my bum look good in this

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and being bullied isnt the actions of the bully its the perceived bullying by the person that matters

i came here from day 1 to have fun relax not fight my corner from day 1

and if some think thats what a forum is about then dont they need validation to

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ORIGINAL: DavidLee44UK
but not my prob as wont be coming here much if at all