needlesandpins
Posts: 3901
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather quote:
If you need validation from an online community that you cannot find in yourself, you need a better GPS. It's not so much validation, as acceptance. Think about it, you'll take the time to answer my questions, correct me when I've got something wrong, confirm things when I've got them right. How much of that would you be willing to do in person with an 18 year old girl who blushes all the time, says "like" every third sentence, and giggles, stutters and stammers with nervousness when trying to speak seriously about something? In real life you'd all probably just think I was an annoyingly immature, silly little teenager, but here I'm an earnest newbie wanting to learn. I'm both, but here I get taken seriously, out there, you probably wouldn't take the time. I'm comfortable talking to a woman of your age and experience on here, I can address you as an equal, but in person I'd be so intimidated I'd be tongue-tied and fighting the urge to just burst into tears and run away. I'd be terrified to speak with most of you face-to-face, but I can do it here, I can joke and laugh, and flirt, and learn. And yes, sometimes even teach, because my words and ideas are listened to here, because they are presented in the same package as everybody else's. So an online "community" can be a very important thing, depending on where one is in life and what you're looking for from that community. Heather, we are not a sum of our age. i know some 18yr olds that are like silly school girls, and i know some older women who are like silly school girls. i hadn't read any of your posts and thought that you were a teenager until i saw you actually mention it. even the shyest person can come across with far more maturity and sence than some. don't allow others to intimidate you for no-one is better than you no matter what their age. it certainly doesn't make your opinions and thoughts any less valid. the right attitude and appearance can mean everything. when i was training to give lectures i was as nervous as hell for my first one in front of my group. at the end our tutor asked the group what they thought of it and if i had been factually correct. one of the ladies who i admired alot said 'i have no idea if her facts are right or not, she spoke about it with such confidence that i believe every word she said.' it meant alot to me that she said that and she commented on my aparent 'confidence' a couple of times in other situations where i hadn't really been feeling that way. but that in itself made me feel more confident in myself. as for asking questions. anyone who makes you feel less than positive for asking has obviously forgotten that they also didn't know the answer at one time. those people usually have ego problems and for some bizzar reason it makes them feel better to belittle others for not knowing too. in that instance, smile, shrug your shoulders and seek someone better. needles
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