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Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 11:03:18 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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So while I was eating my strawberries and yogurt I was thinking.

On here, we all talk about the worst case scenarios, the worst people. And yes, it exists and yes, I really feel we need to be able to discuss the evil and horrible, without worrying about stepping on the toes of the sensitive souls.

BUT......I think it's always good to, well, honour good. And, since we've been doing a fair bit (at least some of us have....

) of bashing the fucktards of the male variety of the human animal, I figured that maybe and possibly because Father's Day is fast approaching, we could honour some of the stellar men in our lives.

Not necessarily our fathers, but men that we admire, look up too. Men that have been an almost overwhelming positive in our lives. One, two, or all. Let's talk about them. Let's talk about why they are so awesome, what influences they've had on your lives and/or others.

A 'Yay for the good guys!'

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

Post #: 1

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 11:31:22 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

And yes........I am going to tell you all about at least one, really fab, guy I know. My Generic Dude. It's just going to take awhile so I decided to start the thread, then write about him. Because I really don't think I can be brief.

I've known him for 22ish years. When I met him I was managing a nightclub and pretty much not interested in ever being in a relationship with a guy. I had two small kids and was fine with doing it by myself. I had seen enough of male behaviour to really not much care to have one EVER AGAIN.

But one night, in previously mentioned night club, in walked this guy. Very Alex P Keaton and totally not a guy I would have EVER been interested in even if I was interested in a guy. The owners of the nightclub had already met him and thought he was just perfect for their precious LeeAnn (they kinda thought I was awesome). 22+ years later and we've been married for 21 years. And now I am going to tell you why.

I admire him for the gentleman he was, the first time I went to his house and we talked so late, he didn't want me driving 17 miles home on winter roads.

I admire him for putting clean sheets on the only bed in the house that night, giving me some of his sweats to wear to bed.........and without a thought, going to sleep on the couch. Even though I knew he wanted to be in the bed.

I admire him for the way he has treated my family upon meeting each of them, and every day since.

I admire him for seeing the woman I was, and the woman I was going to be, even when his family flipping freaked out at the idea of him marrying me......a divorced woman that managed a nightclub and had two kids with an absentee drunk addict father. And I refused to convert to Catholicism..

I admire him for doing the best possible job of trying to be a father to my kids......even when they were far from lovable.

I admire him for standing by my kids when they were asshole adults doing really asshole things......even to the point of quietly, without me knowing, using his legal and law enforcement connections to make sure my son was safe while he was paying the consequences of his assholishness. Especially since said assholishness goes against everything he believes in.

I admire him for his patriotism and service to his country. I admire him for the looks in his soldiers eyes when he was awarded the Bronze Star. I admire him even more for the fact that he values the commemorative sword his soldiers gave him when he retired, far more than he does the Bronze Star. The sword is displayed in his office, the Star is not.

I admire him for his honour and personal values. Greater than my own. Just by respecting him, sometimes, causes me to hold myself to a higher standard.

I admire him for the way he has supported me, wanted nothing more than me to be happy and fulfilled, even when it scared him, confused him, and he just plain doesn't get me AT ALL. I admire him for the way he trusts and respects me to do what is best for ALL, which in turn gives me good reason to always be worthy of that trust and respect.

I admire him for his courage, his intelligence, his depth of character, his ability to forgive, his annoying Felix Unger-ness which helps balance my Oscar artist bossy ass self.

I admire him for the way he has treated the women in my life and for making them feel welcome, and safe, in our home.

And a bazillion other things that alternately annoy the fuck out of me and make me smile and laugh. A lot of laughter.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 2

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 11:39:06 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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WHAT?!?! Y'all can't come up with one good thing to say about the fuckers????

Jesus fucking Christ........pathetic bunch for sure.

Sooooooooooo, am I the only person around here that knows a decent guy?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 3

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 11:55:18 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

If I picked one guy in my life to write about it would be my son...

He is one of the kindest people I know.

He is extremely loyal to his friends and his family.

He is the type of person you can tell a secret to, and he would carry it to his grave.

He is one of the most articulate people I have ever talked to. He is curious. He has well formed and logical ideas about the world.

I do not think I have ever heard him say a denigrating thing to anyone. He is tolerant, not just of ethnic and religious differences, but of people's political opinions too (even when he can't understand them, he doesn't put them down for them).

He has a wonderful sense of humor... sometimes as dark as my own.....

I think he is one of the finest people I have ever met. I respect him deeply. I am tremendously proud of him. He shows me my flaws because of his strengths, and that doesn't make me feel bad about myself, it has taught me to be a better person. He has in many ways set an example for me, even though he claims that I set one for him.

As far as how he treats girls, well I have never had one complain to me about him. He is very shy, and he does not see himself as God's gift to woman kind. Women fall all over him because of this, and because he is 6 foot 4 and built line a linebacker....but he isn't big headed or a braggart. He enjoys talking to women and girls, even if he adores games like Halo and gaming with his guy friends.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 4

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 11:55:58 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
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From: Insanity & beyond
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As soon as I drink a cup of coffee & dry my tears, I'll contribute.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 5

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 11:57:54 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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My grandpa -
This guy became my primary father figure because my dad took off. =p Grandpa died last December because of a brain tumor, but he was the strongest, hardest working guy I ever knew. I grew up in a small town and everyone knew him. He'd built a business that lasted for decades (50 years) and was pretty much known throughout the region as being an upstanding, truth-telling, hardworking, all-around decent guy.
He had some old fashioned beliefs that used to irritate me, but he was from another generation and he changed a lot of his opinions over time.
When we were little kids, my grandma would always give us really cool stuff for Christmas, and we'd say "thanks Grandma!" Grandpa would sit there and smile and that was it. Finally Grandma told us "you know your Grandpa's the one who has the idea to get you guys this stuff, right?" Grandpa was always a behind the scenes kinda guy -- he loved puppies and babies, but would pretend to be too macho to play with them. =p

My uncles --
both of my uncles were born with a really awful genetic disorder. One of them was affected from the day he was born and the other had no problems until (seriously) the night of Prom. But despite being sick, they were both hardworking, caring, thoughtful people who always thought about other people before themselves. One uncle became a pharmacist, and it took him YEARS to finish that degree, but he didn't let anything stop him. He was always reading and absorbing tons of knowledge from a variety of sources, and liked to talk about all sorts of brainy things. The other was quiet, soft-spoken, but everyone in town loved him. He would do the x-rays of Halloween candy for kids.

My brother --
my brother has a very fancypants job that he got by working super hard and taking lots of chances. he taught himself almost everything he knows about his field, but took classes during his years of college just because he was "supposed to;" he's ridiculously smart and talks about stuff i literally can't understand. but he's the sort who punches people in the face if he notices them trying to sneak off with a drunk/incapacitated chick at a party, and then spends his entire evening making sure someone else doesn't try to sneak off with her. =p

My late M -
out of nearly everyone, he probably had the greatest effect on me. he was the first non-relative male i felt 100% safe around (especially in the post-resolution-of-the-past phase), and i felt that feeling pretty much instantly with him which was scary in its own way. he was thoughtful, well spoken, an individual who really didn't care what anyone thought of him, and a person who steadfastly kept his word, regardless of what was going on around him. he believed in honesty, and everyone's right to discover and express the truth about who they were, regardless of gender, race, etc. he was a fantastic artist and he loved to read and have complicated discussions about whatever he'd read. he loved kids and would've been a spectacular Dad, too; if only he hadn't died.

my Toppy friend --
another hardworking, honest, friendly sort -- he's probably one of the friendliest people i know. he has absolutely no visible social issues; he seems to be comfortable everywhere and has no problem striking up a conversation with people. sometimes he's TOO blunt, but he always generally means well. he'll listen to you cry and blubber on the phone and take you to get ice cream. he's actually quite a bit like M was, which always seemed weird to me, and yet it gives me hope for the future of mankind. =p he's always doing something, there's never really any extended time when he's just sitting around doing absolutely nothing.

my last Philosophy professor --
i didn't even want to take that stupid philosophy class, but it was a requirement for my degree. i ended up with a pretty great professor who was able to break down all sorts of nebulous concepts into something more easy to understand. he also encouraged me to pursue philosophy because he thought i would do very well with it. i would never have even considered taking more philosophy classes without his advice and helpful guidance.

(there are some others, but i've been hammering away at this for a while)

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 6

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:00:58 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

LaT, you already saved Me a ton of keystrokes. Except for the meeting at a nightclub part, a lot of the above is very much the way I see MP. Right down to the part about putting up with My kids. (I swear, My daughter was hell on wheels there for a while.) Not to mention he puts up with Me. Some funny thing about that he loves Me.

The man tells people flat out. He's not a submissive, just a good husband. In his mind, that means doing what he can to make Me happier in My world. Doesn't matter what it is, really. He'll tell you that I don't ask for much. Nah, just drag Me across the state because I want to go to some three day event or some other silly thing. Put up with Me in My various quirks.

Geez, I'd barely know where to start.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 7

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:03:52 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Okay fine then! I will just write about important man in my life.. My dad.

Now here's the deal. It's not a conventional, white picket fence, kind of relationship. Yes my dad is a serious, hard core, alcoholic. No doubt about it. And yes, after my parents divorced, my dad pretty much just left and didn't visit regularly, didn't do really any of the dad stuff. And yeah, he pretty much shit on my younger siblings.......they just don't really know him at all. A lot of hard feelings there.

But.........there are other factors, as always, to what made him the man he is, and how I see him. Glaringly huge ass faults and all.

I remember being a little girl and the best place in the world was curled up with him, in his big chair, watching Sunday football together. Sharing some cheese and crackers.

I remember getting sick in my sleep, made a huge mess all over myself and the sofa I fell asleep on. My dad asked my mother which she wanted, the couch or the kid. Meaning, he would clean up one but it was up to her to choose which. She chose couch. He carried me into the bathroom, filled the tub and cleaned me up, washed my hair and put me in clean clothes and then in their bed so they could keep an eye on me the rest of the night.

I remember him teaching me to swim and roller skate.

He knew that one of my siblings was not his and never ever let on he knew. He never once treated them as though they were not his. He also stayed with my mother, through her many issues for far more years than he should have.

As an adult, I recognize that I have never, since I was quite young, been able to count on my father. He was never there for me in my most difficult times. I could not go to him for help or advice.

In many ways my father is not a strong man, or an admirable man. Having lost his own father at a young impressionable age, having no real father figure, being married to my mother......it all left a deeply faulted, and in many ways, weak, man. Yet, I've never ever been physically afraid of him, never. And more importantly, even today, with our limited relationship because of the booze......I still know, without a doubt, I am loved. The rest, I let go of a long time ago. He taught me about unconditional love, how to give it and what it feels like.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 8

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:06:49 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

My English teacher - a wonderful man who immediately saw through my shy, introverted facade and drew out the writer within. And with that, the confidence that was buried deep.

My dad - the man that every partner of mine has to measure up to. No mean feat.

My best friend - a wonderful man who would drop everything and come to help me. And very recently has done so on several occasions. I have no idea why he thinks I'm worth so much of his time, but I'm grateful every day that he thinks so.

My Master - I waited a long time to find my soulmate. I had given up on him, and as soon as I stopped looking, he appeared. The intensity of our connection is scary at times, but I wouldn't change him for the world.

And finally, my gorgeous little westie boy. I know he's not strictly a 'man', but his love and care has kept me going when there seemed to reason to go on. He may be 'only a dog', but he's the most amazing dog in the world. I'm blessed that he chose me to take him home all those years ago

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 9

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:15:25 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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Damn LaT....that brought tears to my eyes. yay for Generic dude.

eta the rest of the posts brought more tears. Sheesh I hate my sensitive side.

I will have to post about the men in my life later. I am going to savor ya'lls men for a while first though.

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 6/16/2011 12:17:35 PM >

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 10

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:22:51 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I probably cannot post about my two, 4 legged men. Technically, since they've no balls, they really are not men! (But I guess I did anyway!!!!!)

But yeah, Maj and Mo. Two horses that couldn't be any different in temperament but damn, I love those big knuckleheads.

I cannot even imagine how many thousands of miles Maj and I have put in together. He still gets excited when he hears the trailer door open. "Yay!!! We are going on an adventure!"

Mo is a pain in the ASS. Too smart for his own good. High strung. Likes to act up just to see if I am on my A game. Pretend spooks......just a motherfucker. But he would NEVER do anything to hurt intentionally hurt me. I don't think he knows how to buck. Just loves the fast, unexpected take offs, side steps and turns.

Oh yeah.....Generic Dude.....not so much a horse guy and he isn't allowed to ride Maj and wouldn't even attempt to ride Mo. Buuuuuuuuuuuttttttttt, he will never say anything like "It's the horses or ME!" or "Those horses have GOT to GO!" He figured out a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg time ago he just might be on the losing end of that discussion. Nice guy that he is.......he will feed them if I am sick or running late from work and he will help me with the hay loading, hauling and unloading...with a great deal of eye rolling and deep dramatic sighs of course.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 6/16/2011 12:27:25 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 11

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:46:34 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

I know that you said it didn't have to be our fathers, but I honestly have to start with him.

My Dad (known to several people here on the boards, in person) is an amazing human being. He is everything that I could ever dream in an example of what it is to be a real, honest man; a hard worker; a provider; a Christian (he follows his faith in action and word); a wonderful husband; and a father.

He married his first wife right after he came back from WWII, and they had three children. She passed away from a brain aneurism very unexpectedly, leaving him with 3 young kids. He kept working, raised his babies with the assistance of his mother and older sister who would watch them while he was working during the summer when they weren't in school, and a few years later, he met my Mom. My Mom had four children of her own and was divorced. My parents never once shied away from the idea of getting married to each other, helping raise each other's kids, and having one of their own (me).

My Dad always called my Mom his "best girl." He gave her things in life that her ex-husband never did: unconditional love, a happy home, a co-parent, security, and a partner in life who would have laid down his life for her. He cherished her till the day she passed away, and still keeps her in his heart. I love my Dad. Other men kind of pale in comparison... It's not to say they aren't wonderful, too, but I'm a Daddy's Girl from day one till the day I die.

~ Red

(wee typo)

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 6/16/2011 12:49:08 PM >

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 12

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:47:38 PM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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My art history professor --
This is one guy who completely reshaped my educational experience. Even though i'm an art person, i absolutely hated art history. i think because it was boring and passionless, while art classes were where you got to go crazy and feel and create and get into the whole process.
i'd tolerate art history classes just because you were supposed to, and somewhere wrapped up in all the boring lectures were useful tidbits and interesting slides that could inform and inspire.
Enter This Particular AH Professor. I've never met anyone so completely passionate about art and art history -- especially someone who isn't a working artist himself. if you went to one minute of his classes and came out still hating art history, you were probably a dead body. He can talk for hours about some tiny detail that you would otherwise miss, and you would be more than willing to listen and absorb everything that was said. He's the only teacher i ever really felt intimidated by, just because he is so vital and absolutely cares about his subject and his students.
And for students who are artists themselves, he will actually take time out of his day to come to the studios and look over your art and give you critiques.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 13

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 12:49:21 PM

NuevaVida

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I can not say enough good things about my Dad. He was my safe place in a very chaotic and volitile world. He taught my brothers to be admirable gentlemen, and he brought me the love of music, decency, and dry humor. I miss him terribly.

My uncle was my 2nd Dad (still is). I knew from a very young age I could call him for anything and he'd be there. He brought amazing love, especially when I was divorcing.

Another uncle in Spain was the epitome of goodness and love. He called me to say goodbye a few days before he died (several months after I went to see him in Barcelona, to hug on him a bit, knowing his days were numbered). He told me to never lose hope, to know I am loved, and to find a peaceful heart within me. He was a beautiful man. He died six months before my Dad did.

The Mister is the first person I've really felt completely emotionally safe with. He accepts all that I am, and loves my quirks. He has brought joy to my world, and makes sure I know how loved and appreciated I am. And he's good to my mother.

Despite the abusive men I allowed into my life, I am so fortunate and grateful for the GOOD men, who have outnumbered the bad.

Great thread!!

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 14

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 3:09:04 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
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I will start with the most important & influential man in my life.

Father was my knight in shining armor. I knew one thing for sure my entire sentient life: he loved me unconditionally, no matter what! He knew that I was "different" & he nurtured the belief in me that it was a desirable trait. He taught me to think by debating with me, exchanging ideas, insisting that if I made an argument I could back it up, that I'd thought it out thoroughly enough. He wasn't perfect. He was so flawed, but basically he was a good man. He was one of the most brilliant people I have ever met.

From the time I was old enough to talk, we'd spend hours talking together. He took me fishing, most of the time just me & him out on a little boat. I never caught anything but a dogfish, but he made sure I understood that catching fish for dinner wasn't the be-all to end-all where fishing was concerned. It was about bobbing around out in the middle of the water, sometimes talking, mostly just thinking & being. It was about a celebration of nature & life & each other. We also used to go to the old Seattle Rainiers games, usually a double-header on a Sunday, sitting in the bleachers. I didn't really get the game, but what I got was hanging out with my father.

When my daughter was a few months old, I brought her to visit my parents & he sat in his chair & acted all macho & gruff & I put her in his lap & watched him turn to goo. I have pictures of those moments & they're among my favorites. When he was dying, I called the family & told them all to come visit him one last time. And then I told him that everyone was on their way, including his 1st great-grandson who was an infant. He got all pissy with me & cursed & I told him to shut up that maybe he could fool other people with his shit, but he didn't fool me for a minute! And I have pictures of him turning to goo with that baby in his lap while he marvelled at the fact that he had known his great-grandmother & now he had met his great-grandson & what a blessing that was. The picture of the two of them looking into each others' very souls is awesome.

When he was on his death bed, he insisted that his wife get a tape recorder & he made me a cassette tape of his thoughts & feelings. He did this, he said, because he had never said the words, "I love you" to me & he was afraid I didn't know how very much he had loved me from the first moment he laid eyes on me. He allowed me to be with him the last night he was alive & I sat at his bedside & I held his hand & I soothed him as he slipped away. At one point, I said something trying to calm him & he came out of his coma long enough to say, "I hear a strange voice" to which I replied, "I ain't that strange, old man!" & he went back to wherever he'd been. And I sat there holding his hand & thought, "Crap!! What if those are his last words???"

At his memorial, I had prepared this whole beautiful eulogy & I sat there in this room full of strangers who had only known him the last 16 years of his life & I tossed my notes aside. I decided to paint them a picture of my Father as I had known him, in all his silliness, which he often only showed to me & his wife. So I told stories of his antics while I was growing up & with each story, those people laughed harder. And I ended it with my favorite memory of him: After my mother died, he married one of their friends, Beth. They loved each other to distraction. One night I came to stay at their house & at bedtime, I climbed into my bed in the room across the hall from theirs & I could hear them in bed, singing love songs to each other. She'd sing a line & he'd sing the next line & so on & so forth. How beautiful that they could both find that!!

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 15

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 3:19:57 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

I know I don't log on here often these days....but this caught my attention. Because of the timing, I thought I'd share what I wrote earlier this week and then follow it up with a commitment to honor a man who had a great impact on my life....talk about celebrating the men in our lives.

You had to know the man. Ma’am introduced me to him and MsM pretty quickly once getting into the Detroit scene. He was a strong guy…like super strong….like lifting 700 lbs strong. Like the story I tell folks about the picture in his apartment where the bar is bending in his hands because the weights are so heavy strong (it’s something out of a cartoon, I tell ya). He was emotionally strong too. He lived his life in service to a woman he loved for the last 8 years; finding men to serve her because he knew that’s what she needed; serving his community by reaching out to other men and offering guidance. Always having the funniest thing to say; so much so that he did a short stand up routine for my 21st birthday. He even went and did a few armature nights locally. You could find him joking in the style of the Marx brothers rather than the style of the Three Stooges.

The last time I saw him, we had a standing bet about who could hold their breath the longest and endure the most in a face sitting competition. He had HUGE lungs and an even bigger heart. He wrote a book that encouraged straight s-type men to seek the relationships they want because he lost a friend to the stress of being closeted and ashamed and he didn’t want to see good men hurt because of these things. His confidence was infectious. And he knew the line between confidence and arrogance and he’d be the first to call out arrogance. He was fond of stating that it was no one’s business what happened between consenting adults behind closed doors and claimed libertarianism as his political affiliation because of it. He was out about his politics and his relationship dynamic. Told me once how one of the women at his job noticed the lock around his neck…”Nice lock.” His response was “Nice boots!”

He was creative beyond belief and let it show from his comic con costumes to his famous rickshaw he built for MsM-and he was last looking forward to taking MsM out in the rickshaw on Detroit’s Riverwalk. And with that, because of who he was, who he’ll always be in the hearts of so many….

He taught me about brotherhood and living one's life in service (mostly just doing for whomever he could whenever he could); from helping coach and encourage others in the powerlifting circuit, to telling just the right joke at the right time, to making a point to encourage others to vote, to having a job that served the very future of his immediate community.

Because of Kal, I promise to live my life from now with the attitude "if I can, I will". And even though he wasn't a father, he was a brother to many of us.

All my love,

boi Jen Laws

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 6/16/2011 3:20:50 PM >

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(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 16

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 3:28:59 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

that's loverly beyond belief, BoiJen -- really makes me wish i knew Kal.

Attachment (1)

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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 17

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 4:10:12 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

SPECIAL MENTION GOES OUT TO THE FOLLOWING:

TONY
I started work at the bagelhouse thinking it was just another job. You gave me my first job that was mentally challenging and where much was expected of me. You also showed me what professionalism, work ethic, and competance is, in an industry where so many people (especially managers) just coast by on autopilot. You set an example for me and gave me a taste for excellence that influenced my decision to make cooking into a career.

MR. RATCLIFFE
Thank you for showing me a way of life that was totally different from anything i had experienced when i entered your 9th grade biology classroom. i was profoundly affected by that class, not only the ideas you taught, which were completely at odds with my strict religious upbringing, but by your utter honesty, lack of pretension, and lack of hypocrisy. You are the first honest person i ever knew. You were the one who showed me that it is possible for people to be honest with each other, and also that it is cool to think outside the box and be unique, in a world where EVERYONE was focused on conforming.

CHEF
Thank you for kicking my ass all day long for two years. You taught me to pursue perfection with a religious fervour, and elevated cooking from a job to a fine art. The principals you taught me of honesty, hard work, fairness, self discipline, accountability, aggression, organisation, and above all, the ruthless pursuit of excellence, have become the guiding principals of my life. You are what i aspire to be, and the standard i measure myself against.

TERMY
You are one of the only truly honest people that i know, and an awesome guy.

JOE
For all Your moral support.

ALBERT
A true artisan, devoted to his craft.

SEAN
For being an obsessive motherfucker and a stand up guy, and for showing me a new level of what a boss can be.

JOHNNY AND MARTIN
For introducing me to the lifestyle.

RENE AND AQUILINO
You both had big hearts. i'm sorry i fucked things up.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 6/16/2011 4:11:11 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 18

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 4:46:03 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

My dad. A difficult person these days. Chemo killed that internal censor, inasmuch as he ever had one. He loves my mom and I, though I have to remind myself of that quite a bit.

My grandfather (mom's dad) we lost when I was 5. My life would have had an entirely different landscape if he had lived. An gentle, devoted, intelligent person. He came to this country purely through the kindness of relations that lived here. His family emigrated to Argentina, and his parents died there, leaving him and a sister. He did nothing but work from age 9 onward, except when slowed by multiple heart attacks, a broken back, and finally cancer.

A teacher in grades 7-9. A complete, utter asshole. We hit it off instantly. He loved to make people cry, and embarass them in class. He would use a meter stick (one of those heavy ones) as a pointer, and would bring it CRASHing down on my desk next to my hand. I never flinched. He loved it. He wanted us to stand up to him--aNd I had no problem doing that. Fucker gave me this "outstanding science student" award once. I was furious to be singled out. Only time he got me!

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 19

RE: Celebrating the men in our lives. - 6/16/2011 4:53:42 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of my dad's death. In 2003 June 15th was also Father's Day.
My dad was imperfect.
He was not terribly affectionate and was for the most part a "Sunday dad" after the divorce (they actually alternated w/e days) who just did not know how to relate to kids.
But he was bright and I learned a lot from him.
He introduced me to the worlds of both Robert A. Heinlein and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
(Reading Sir Arthur at such a young age is why I tend to spell certain words with an S instead of a Z, I think.)

He loved me and I loved him.
He was an imperfect but decent man and I miss him.

His dad never finished High School. In fact I think he left school to work in the mills (textile) after the 6th grade. He was one of the smartest men I ever knew and had that quiet John Wayne dignity things going on. He once called me a character and it was a high compliment.

My Master has taught me more about being a woman in the last 2+ years and I am grateful for all of his acquired knowledge via female friends that have contributed to that end.
I love his sense of humor and the positive attitude he has and the little phrases that stick such as "Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good".
He is a combination of Master/Daddy/Owner and those labels do not convey the depth of what He is to me and knowing Him has made me a better person.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 20

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