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How do they treat the waitstaff at the restaurant?

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just as long as he doesnt snore...

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ORIGINAL: Arpig

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just as long as he doesnt snore...

Ah shit!!

Scratches tj off the list.......

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ORIGINAL: Arpig

To littlewonder & NuevaVida
Then what word would you use to express the concept I'm expressing?

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ORIGINAL: Arpig

Job interview? Prove you are suitable for the position.  - I am interviewing them as much as they are me. They have to show me they're a place I want to work.  It is not an intimate/emotional/romantic involvement. I am doing a job for them and they are giving me money for it.  An interview is us feeling each other out to see if we're a good fit.  In every great job I've had, I didn't care (during the interview phase) if I got the job or not.  It was simply a discussion to see if they wanted to pay me for my skills and if I wanted to give them my skills for money (in my mind that's what it was, anyway). It sure makes for a relaxing interview when coming at it with that approach.

First date? Prove you have something to interest me, other than your tits..  - again, I didn't have to prove anything on my first date with him, nor him to me.  We got together, we talked, we laughed, ate, drank, walked.  And then we continued talking and seeing each other, showing each other who we were.  If we didn't like what we saw, we'd have moved on.  I was totally ok if he didn't want to continue with me.  I didn't need to be in a relationship - but it just so happened he was so cool (and he thought I was so cool) that we made a commitment to have a relationship with each other.  The men I went out with prior to him, I had the same approach.  We weren't compatible, acknowledged that, and moved on.

Driver's license? Prove you know the laws of the road. - In my view this is a completely separate concept.  Exams are not always subjective (the paper exam for a driving test isn't, for example).  I want the privilege of driving so I need to learn how and to pass my state's exam to show I'm not going to go out there and cause accidents.

Need a loan? Prove you can make the payments. - Again, a loan is a privilege and subject to the banks qualifications.  Banks are looking for risk factors.  They don't take the time to get to know the individuals applying for the loan, to determine if they're really a good person or not.  They have risk assessments (same with insurance companies - it's all about risks) - so going back to my concerns with the word "prove" when it comes to relationships, I'm not sizing him up looking for risks.  I'm spending time with him and observing who he is - the good, the bad, and everything in between.

My list could go on and on...the point is that we are constantly proving ourselves to others. You prove yourself in myriad ways daily, and you require others to prove themselves to you as well. We are constantly judging people's worthiness in one context or another. To claim otherwise is either being dishonest or naive.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I don't know but for me I like the word synchronicity. For me there is no trying, no proving, no working at it, no looking at the person and hoping or thinking or wanting...it is either there or it isn't. It either happens all on its own, naturally, organically or not at all.

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ORIGINAL: Arpig

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I will see her for her compatibility or not...

And thus...she proves herself to be compatible or not.

I realize that its the word "prove" that most are objecting to, but the OP is correct, we do it all the time.

Job interview? Prove you are suitable for the position.
First date? Prove you have something to interest me, other than your tits..
Driver's license? Prove you know the laws of the road.
Need a loan? Prove you can make the payments.

My list could go on and on...the point is that we are constantly proving ourselves to others. You prove yourself in myriad ways daily, and you require others to prove themselves to you as well. We are constantly judging people's worthiness in one context or another. To claim otherwise is either being dishonest or naive.

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The way I live my life is working really well for me right now. I simply don't view people as potential risk factors.

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I just observe and experience.

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I don't know but for me I like the word synchronicity. For me there is no trying, no proving, no working at it, no looking at the person and hoping or thinking or wanting...it is either there or it isn't. It either happens all on its own, naturally, organically or not at all.

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ORIGINAL: Arpig

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The way I live my life is working really well for me right now. I simply don't view people as potential risk factors.

Now, now, I didn't say anything about risk factors, simply that one does prove, or show, or demonstrate (or whatever word feels the best to you) to others the type of person one is.

In your example of the first date, you said "If we didn't like what we saw, we'd have moved on." Therefore, there was a second because he had proved himself to be somebody of interest.

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I just observe and experience.

And based on what you observe and experience you form an opinion of the person. In effect, they have proved themselves to be good, bad, or whatever it is you end up judging them as. Its a matter of the connotations the word "prove" has to you, which is why I asked what word you would use to describe it. I'm not wedded to the word. its the word used in the OP, and in the thread from which this one sprung, so I am using it. It's the concept that is important, not the word used to describe it.

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I simply prefer to use other words and descriptors because of the connotations that word has to me.

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How many times on these boards do we see the advice "Meet face to face and see if there is actually anything there, see if you click". It is this "seeing" that is being referred to in the OP (well, at least that's what I think is being referred to).

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder
When I met Master I didn't even go into it thinking that. He asked me for two years to meet him. I never had any interest in meeting him. One day I finally said yes because to be honest I wanted a mini vacation and figured if nothing else I'd get a free coffee outta the deal and a weekend away in a great city lol.

I never even went in thinking I'd see if there was anything there. I just met him because I figured "what the hell..why not?" LOL

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You can call me naive, Arpig. I'm totally ok with that. The way I live my life is working really well for me right now. I simply don't view people as potential risk factors. It's like I told the Mister - eventually we'll come to really know each other and trust in what we've shown each other. Time together, observing how we handle things and treat friends, family, strangers and each other goes a long way in painting that picture.

I read something recently - if you look for something to be wrong, you'll find it. Same as if you look for something to be right. Me? I just observe and experience.