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Chasing away the lonelies - 6/19/2011 8:32:06 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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Status: offline 		Perhaps as a cousin-thread to the "tips for positive thinking" thingie, what are some ways you help yourself avoid or deal with feelings of loneliness?
this might be a good question to ask around the holidays since so many people feel the blues then, but hey -- it's a good enough question for today, too. =p


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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/19/2011 9:27:20 PM   
Arpig


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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/19/2011 9:35:00 PM   
Lockit


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Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If I feel lonely, the very first thing I do is examine how I am physically and if I have had the right foods, enough sleep and have taken care of myself. Most often it is hormone based or one of these things. I then tell myself it will pass in a day or two... rest... watch a good chick flick either for encouragement or maybe even a couple of emotional tears vented. I might come here and look for some laughs or go into wild mode and be playful with someone or a lot of someones.

The best thing for me... create a comedy routine. It used to be that or dance. I don't dance now. lol So I laugh, even if alone... and I don't let the blues get me. It will pass and that is the key thing to know... it will pass.


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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/19/2011 10:06:17 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


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Status: offline 		I often get the lonelies. I've lived alone a good portion of my adult life & I tend to like that better than living with other people, but it can indeed get lonely. And I can also get lonely in a crowd, because I've always felt a bit alien.

What I like to do to chase them away is:

1) make a phone call to a person who I love, my daughter, sister, Uncle, etc. And let them talk to me about what's going on in their world. It gets me outside of myself.

2) put on some favorite music, dance & sing along.

3) watch a stoopid movie or tv show & laugh my ass off.

4) go for a walk & look at all the pretty flowers, admire the architecture in the neighborhood, walk to the water & sit & watch it.

5) sometimes I just go ahead & acknowledge my loneliness & the reasons for it & cry. It takes a long time to grieve & we all do it in different stages & different time frames.

6) pet da Boyz.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/19/2011 10:11:40 PM   
FelineFae


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Status: offline 		i cry for a couple of days, then turn some music on really loudly.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/19/2011 10:54:18 PM   
HannahLynHeather


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Status: offline 		i get in my car, turn up the tunes, and drive.
i love driving, its my retreat from the world. closed up in my private little universe with my music blasting and the road beckoning me ever fucking onwards.

its where i go when i need to think, when i'm sad, when i'm lonely, when i'm stressed. if i feel i need to fucking get away that's just what i do.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/19/2011 11:15:20 PM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		get out either a current quilt of x-stitch project or start another one, find a long podcast or audiobook online and lose myself in someone else's story for a while.

i don't get lonely often, though. had this discussion with my worrying daughter yesterday. i'm comfortable with my own company most of the time, and i'm going to school and shortly to be working, so not much time for lonelies much.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 12:19:40 PM   
LadyPact


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Status: offline 		It sounds a bit odd, but I focus on something that I'm looking forward to, usually something tied to a social situation.  It might be a munch or an event or some other kind of gathering where there are going to be a number of people.  I had the same issue when we just moved here and that cleared it up.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 1:11:21 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

Perhaps as a cousin-thread to the "tips for positive thinking" thingie, what are some ways you help yourself avoid or deal with feelings of loneliness?
this might be a good question to ask around the holidays since so many people feel the blues then, but hey -- it's a good enough question for today, too. =p



I wish I had some deep insightful and helpful something...

I actually really like being alone. More than likely because I rarely am. I went from being the responsible oldest one of 6 kids, that had a constant flow of neighbourhood kids to being a mother.

Now that the kids are all grown up, I still have Generic Dude and when he is gone, I have all the furry babies. Spoilt rotten fur babies definitely do not let me get lonely. Nala and Sophie are not two divas to be ignored. It's just not tolerated.


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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 5:00:00 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I call up Master or my daughter, I turn on some music to either wallow in or make my heart beat faster, I go for a loooong walk, I sleep it off.



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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 5:19:54 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		thanks for everyone's contributions to the thread; loneliness can be a pickle because sometimes you're not sure where it's coming from, or why, or what to do about it.
i mean, in general i'm pretty damn sure of the why. it just goes through cycles of intensity.

i turned down an invite for a cookout at someone's house, which seems counterintuitive -- but the situation/setting/company would've only exacerbated the problem. =p


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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 5:41:15 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		For me? When I'm lonely I cook. Either for myself, or for someone else, or with someone else. There's something very reassuring about cooking something slow and intricate.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 5:58:33 PM   
Kirata


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From: USA
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I talk to my cat.

He listens quietly, then butts me with his head... and reminds me that I have a pal.

K.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 8:18:45 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline 		I get "Lonely in a roomfull" sometimes. Right now, living with 8 other people in a small house sometimes makes you that way. I get to thinking about friends that have passed, or past loves. and it just flat out hurts. But I will listen to songs that make me think of the people no longer in my life, and I cry a little... Then I listen to ones that either Sweets will sing to me, or that just make me smile, and it seems to help. Try listening to the song "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz and be upset... weather you are sad or pissed, you can't help but bob your head to it... lol It always works for me.

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 9:22:03 PM   
soul2share


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Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		Right now, I've been feeling a bit lonelier than usual, and it's an entirely new feeling for me.  I'm really good being alone, but lately, it seems that if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.  The last 6 months or so have been pretty trying, I've found myself in a position I've never been in before, and sometimes, it would be nice to just hand it off to someone else, let it all out, get a hug and an "It'll all be ok".  I talk to my kittehs, but that's not really helping. 

Right now, if I had a bit of light on the horizon, I'd do better, but this constant worry about my bills, rent, utilities.....real life shit that I've never had to worry about before because I've always had a decent job.  It's really beginning to wear me down.  I've had a few days where I've been overwhelmed with the hopelessness.  Having no one to talk to really sux this time!

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 10:12:03 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
6) pet da Boyz.
 

Funny, most women call it petting 'da gurlz'.

Anyway! On Topic:

Since I tend to find myself feeling the most lonely when surrounded by people, I retreat into solitude.  That, and pet my dog.   My dog gets lotsa petters.



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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 10:25:31 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
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Status: offline 		I grab a flyrod and head for the mountains.

I guess it's kind of wierd that I cure loneliness by getting as far away from people as possible,

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/20/2011 10:33:02 PM   
FelineFae


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Status: offline 		MarksFantasyGirl


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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/21/2011 12:19:21 AM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
6) pet da Boyz.
 

Funny, most women call it petting 'da gurlz'.

Anyway! On Topic:

Since I tend to find myself feeling the most lonely when surrounded by people, I retreat into solitude.  That, and pet my dog.   My dog gets lotsa petters.





*gigglesnort* Da Boyz is what I call my large hairy feline beasties.


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Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

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RE: Chasing away the lonelies - 6/21/2011 12:54:22 AM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It sounds a bit odd, but I focus on something that I'm looking forward to, usually something tied to a social situation.  It might be a munch or an event or some other kind of gathering where there are going to be a number of people.  I had the same issue when we just moved here and that cleared it up.


QFT

Read this, then re-read, then re-re-read it again.
Hope is the one spirit left in Pandora's box.

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Individual results may vary.


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