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Asshole - 6/19/2011 11:16:19 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

This guy is flying down the road and he comes over a bridge. Sure enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side of the bridge and pulls him over.

The cop walks up to the guy's car and asks, "What's the hurry?"

The guy says, "I'm late for work."

"What do you do?"

The guy responds, "Well, I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop says, "What? A rectum stretcher?"

The guy says, "Yeah. I start with a finger, then work my way up to two fingers... eventually I get a hand in, then both hands, and I slowly stretch it until it's about six feet wide."

The cop asks, "What do you do with a six-foot asshole?"

"Well, you give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge..."

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RE: Asshole - 6/20/2011 9:34:15 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

I can tellya that this technique will NOT help to talk your way out of a ticket.

T^T

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

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RE: Asshole - 6/21/2011 1:21:22 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

<<<--- smirks. **** M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

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RE: Asshole - 6/23/2011 4:55:36 AM

richfrist

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/2/2011
Status: offline

ROTFLMAO - I just got a ticket today for not wearing a seat belt. The $20 ticket will wind up costing me $142 here in Sonoma County --$20 is the base fine for the seat belt violation, Then there are these additional fees:

–A 20 percent surcharge: Add $4.
–State and county penalty assessments at $17 for every $10 of the base fine
($10 for the state, $7 for the county). Add $34.
–Court facilities construction fund at $3 for every $10 of the base fine. Add $6.
–State court construction penalty at $2 for every $10. Add $4.
–State DNA program assessment at $1 for every $10. Add $2.
–Additional DNA assessment at $1 for every $10. Add $2.
–Night court fee at $1 per ticket. Add $1.
–Emergency medical services assessment at $2 for every $10. Add $4.
–Courthouse security fee at $30 per ticket. Add $30.
–Criminal conviction assessment of $30 for a felony or misdemeanor and $35 for an infraction, which the seat belt violation is. Add $35.