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LadyNTrainer -> RE: "Tribute required" (6/23/2011 5:22:03 PM)
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ORIGINAL: errantgeek
I make an effort to decide ahead of time whether someone is compatible with me when pursuing them for a relationship. Though, if someone has a feature that I find particularly striking, I'm definitely going to compliment them...within reason, anyhow. I wouldn't just walk up to a woman and say "you have a fantastic rack!" so I don't do it online.
There are shades and shades of doing this. "You have a fantastic rack" is one of the cruder ways, though I've heard worse. However, pretty much any comment on her looks or physicality is likely to be perceived as shallow, and consequently as disregarding who she is as a person in favor of being judged for her sexual attractiveness. It can be a pretty sensitive spot for women, for good reason, so it might be wise to be even more careful than just avoiding the cruder variety of "looks-ist" remarks. *All* comments on her physical appearance are, in essence, judging her for what she looks like and not who she is, and that can set off the "shallow asshole" alarm bells for a lot of women.
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And, I agree with you on other networking sites...ha. I'd just delete my profiles here entirely and stick exclusively to fetlife, but for FL's lack of a search option...though, that alone I suppose would make it more of a meat market. Genderfucking, by the way, is awesome! :)
I think so, too. On sites that have more flexible gender options, I usually identify as genderqueer. I might consider identifying as trans, but that would be rather confusing (I am a biological female who presents visually as female except on rare occasions) as well as possibly disrespectful to actually transitioning or transgendered individuals. Mostly I'm a genderfucker, or just plain gender flexible, which is not quite the same sort of critter. The gender boxes on most adult sites are way too narrow to accommodate me.
I won't keep a social profile on a site that has A/S/L, for the reason that any woman on such a site will be inundated with shallow and often crude one-liners that are usually misspelled to boot. If you are not adult enough to write legibly about it, then you are not adult enough to be doing it, in my opinion. Certainly not with me.
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Ironically, I've never actually been to a con. Conglomeration in Louisville always happens on a weekend I'm busy, and I've never been able to go to Gencon for one reason for another and it sucks. Especially this year's Conglomeration when a good friend of mine ended up running a Dark Heresy pen-and-paper game with Andy Freakin' Chambers and I was going to be in that game and already had a Sororitas rolled up goddamnitsomuch (why yes, I am a Warhammer fanatic).
Sucks to miss a con you wanna go to. One of my boys does GenCon every year, but for me it's too close calender-wise and budget-wise to another major event in a different geeky realm that my other partner and I are committed to. Alas. Warhammer isn't one of my vices, but I've seen some of the elaborate minis setups and been substantially impressed at the time, energy and money that has to go into a 40K army. Personally I can't even be bothered with D&D minis or a tactical map most of the time, being a near diceless, primarily storytelling focused GM. But they certainly do look nice on other people's tables where I can admire them while someone else does the work of painting them and lugging them around.
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