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ORIGINAL: LoneGoddess
When I break a submissive down to the root of his core issues, it's not done for the sake of hurting him, it's not a punishment, it's not even the same process as it is for Ebony and her slaves, it's a healing process. It's something I do out of love for him, to learn more about him, show him things about himself he may not have seen, as I said before.  Liken it to a "vision quest" done BDSM style... or holding up a mirror.  If ya can wrap your brains around that .

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Does that sound fun? It isn't. Trust me. You're not taking something for your dominant. You're being hurt and abused.

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ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

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ORIGINAL: LoneGoddess
When I break a submissive down to the root of his core issues, it's not done for the sake of hurting him, it's not a punishment, it's not even the same process as it is for Ebony and her slaves, it's a healing process. It's something I do out of love for him, to learn more about him, show him things about himself he may not have seen, as I said before.  Liken it to a "vision quest" done BDSM style... or holding up a mirror.  If ya can wrap your brains around that .

Relevant thread of discussion here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_374431/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#374810


For some, this "space beyond subspace" becomes a transcendant experience that they specifically seek for various personal reasons.  I have "service topped" a number of people into this extreme place, generally at their request.  In two cases it was to help them integrate a negative life experience into a positive lifestyle choice; these were former Vietnam veterans who had experienced nonconsensual captivity.  In another case it was more of a spiritual or shamanic initiation, and the bottom was seeking an "out of body" experience to help them gain spiritual perspective.  This theme can also be seen in a number of primitive societies, such as the fakirs of India with skewers through their cheeks that transport them to an ecstatic state, or the Native American pole dance where braves seeking to break through the barriers between flesh and the spirit world hung themselves from piercings by hooks and pulled them free, dancing. 

Make no mistake: this is highly, highly advanced play, and it is NOT RECOMMENDED for everyone.  One of my recurring nightmares is to have somebody turn to me and say  brightly, "But what could possibly go wrong with this red-hot branding iron scene with inverted nipple ring suspension?  I've read three whole books by John Norman...."  I don't want to sound like an elitist, but I get worried when I hear about people playing on this level unless I am confident that they have an extremely high level of competence with the human body and psyche.  And even then, confidence is not always enough. 

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Does that sound fun? It isn't. Trust me. You're not taking something for your dominant. You're being hurt and abused.

Depends on the individual and the situation.  I've agreed to take people to that "space beyond subspace" several times, but only once was it for the purpose of deepening my D/s relationship.  The other times I was acting as a service top, a shaman, a healer, a priest, a guide to someone else's inner space.  It really depends on the individuals involved and their goals and agendas.

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ORIGINAL: MLadyQueenowands

I have broken and remade the personality of a beautiful but dangerous horse that hated people.  It took two years to teach him to love me and by extension others.  It involved continuous application of punishment and reward.  I had to work hard and carefully to make sure that his new found love and respect for people passed on to the people who bought him from me.  His submission and joy in service was a beautiful and deeply moving thing.  However I determined I would never put such effort into a horse with such character faults again.  I would seek out the genuine animal and mold them to enhance what was already there.  That is the approach I am using with my slaves.  It is true that respect and love are earnt and taught and bonds are deepened as the relationship grows; relationships have crises where the bonds are tested and reformed.  Breaking in can be considered to be part of the process where the slave learns your rules and preferences and you how to work with their personality, a kind of settling and acceptance; as not every horse is suitable for every rider or the rider the horse so not every slave is suitable for every Mistress vice versa and processes will vary.

~ MyLady Queenowands

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ORIGINAL: bobbyoral2

i am a submissive male, have been for about 6 years now and just began a new relationship. problem is, i'm having a bit of trouble accepting the "break" concept. it seems to bring up very hostile feelings in me, feelings which i do not wish to show to my lady. my last domme had lots of physical issues, and so my spankings and whippings were limited to how long she could go on. now i am in a situation where the lady of my life speaks of this "breaking" concept as if it is always the thing to do, the reason for our time together. though i have some masochistic tendencies, the very word fills me with a burning rage. i am more the hero than the healer. i am a strong alpha male in public, but my nature is one of sacrifice and saving others from disaster. i cannot wrap my head around the concept of "breaking" someone.
is it that important? is not submission sufficient to please most dominant women?
your thoughts are most appreciated, as i struggle daily with this.

R.

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ORIGINAL: peterK50

I have been a slave over 30 years to Mistresses, Masters & Couples. I have at various times been "Broken", but then rebuilt into the kind of slave my Owner<s> wanted

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is it that important? is not submission sufficient to please most dominant women?

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ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei
He was not broken in a damaged way (who would want that?), but it was like a deeper connection existed afterwards due to the special bond we shared.  It made us closer, we remained closer from that point on, and  no one turned into a doormat.