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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/16/2006 2:17:13 PM

slavejali

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Thanks for everyones replies. We get national geographic channel here, so will look out for that program the dog whisperer. We got pita at around 7 months old so havent had her from a very tiny puppy, she turned up in the back yard of work one day and just stayed, she was very thin and scared, I think she may have been mistreated. She formed an attachment to Master straight away..and possibly because I had my dog at that stage I didnt really concern myself with asserting my position with her. Ive always fed her. She will let me cuddle her etc though, whereas anyone else trying to do that she will growl at them and not like it, so she does accept me as part of the family, probably like you all have mentioned, she just thinks I'm below her in the hierarchy with Master because it wasnt established in the beginning.

Re the biting: she hasnt done that often and when she has Master has disciplined her, generally she is a very sweet dog, she just is possesively loyal to Master and tries to dominate me for his attention.

Also, we have moved recently...and we suspect her increasinly strange behaviour has something to do with that. All this hiding stuff and acting sick until Master is here didnt start till we moved. lo.l/.... (just now...I just watched her follow Master into the toilet, she wont leave his side...now as soon as he goes to work, she is going to find somehwere to curl up and I wont see her till he is back for morning tea.).

Had a giggle over the harley story (Ive known some harley owners who acted exactly the same way) grin.

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/16/2006 4:22:36 PM

ravn

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oh boy do I have something to compete with.....Master's mother. He was in the middle of punishing me once and He stopped to answer her calls...all of them, then sex....she always manages to call during sex, and We have to go up there at least once every 2-3 days......it's insane. I love the woman to pieces, but there should be a limit

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/16/2006 4:36:31 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Master is going tog et home and tell me im PMSing...which possibly thats the reason for all of this...thats been one hard aspect of having a partial hysterectomy, I still cycle but dont get the bleed so lose track of where I'm at in all of that.

Oh sweetie, I so relate! It's hard to recognize that the irrationality, and hyper-sensitivity, are hormone based, when you no longer have that undeniable visual clue. It took me awhile to realize what was happening after my surgery too, although in retrospect it seems obvious.

All I can do is offer you a cyber-hug, and if you ever feel like chatting on IM, just message me on the profile side and I'll send my yahoo ID.

Cin

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/16/2006 5:17:30 PM

slavejali

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Thanks cinful - i actually went on the chats this week which i dont do normally .Why do emotions want to talk? lol

ravn: ogod you poor thing!!!! Is your Master cancer? they are usually really attached to their moms.

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/16/2006 7:42:12 PM

Rayne58

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From: Sydney Australia
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A little off the topic:-

My daughter has been staying with us for a month. She's 18 and lives in NZ with her father, and has done since she was 14. It was her first visit to us and she has been having a hard time sharing me with Master - she doesn't really understand the dynamic and I think sees it as me running after Him and ignoring her (which has not been the case). He has not been well some days and I have had to forgo taking her places to stay and nurse Him.

She has a rather dominant personality and is used to having her own way at home, and it's been a hard learning curve for her to have to make allowances

However after a few clashes we have sorted things out and she's keen to come for another visit next year

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/16/2006 7:46:48 PM

slavejali

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We had my daughter here last year Rayne....same kinda thing happened....I really dont know how people do it with kids in the house without causing clashes etc.

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/16/2006 8:14:47 PM

Evanesce

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I've had to deal with the dog issue, too. When I moved in with Master, His dogs were 7 and 8 years old. One was a 90-lb lab, and the other a 65-lb hound mix. They begged, ate off His plate, slept in the bed, climbed all over the furniture, and were completely untrained, except for one thing - they wouldn't run off if we took them outside without a leash, which is good because we lived on a 4-lane road.

The dogs learned quickly that begging wasn't going to get them anywhere with me, because I do not believe in giving pets people food. A rare nibble now and then is ok, but every day isn't good for them, and I'm still trying to convince Master of that fact. But within just a couple weeks, they stopped staring and drooling at me whenever I sat down with a plate, because they knew they weren't getting any of it.

The next thing that went was them being in the bed. A queen-sized bed is not big enough for two large dogs and two adults. Bruce (the lab) and I had more than one disagreement over this, and on several occasions, Master had to help me with him because he was acting like he was going to rip my arm off. But after a couple months, he quit fighting me on it. Then it came time to get them off the furniture so people could sit down without wearing a coat of dog fur when they left. To effect this change, I put boxes and hangers and things on both couches, so the dogs wouldn't jump up there. That was all I had to do. It took a while, but eventually they learned they weren't going to be allowed up there any more.

In the fight over the bed, Bruce growled and snapped at me more than once. But I stood my ground, and you can too. Don't let the dog get away with it. Make your voice deeper, and command her in an authoritative tone. It takes time to teach them who's boss, and right now she thinks she is, which is why she bit you - she was actually chastising you.

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/17/2006 2:55:04 AM

DsBound

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I agree with Mavis... you need to try some training techniques. Since dogs are pack animals a chain of command follows... clearly the dog thinks she's above you and if she hasn't been shown any different, then it's understandable. Most dogs are fine with their position, where ever that may be but it does take everyone in the house being consistent. You could always try doing general obedience with her... 6' leash and 15 minutes a few times a week, something to form a bond with her. Some breeds are very loyal and he is her best friend. He is her Master and chances are you fall into the "buddy" role. We own a training academy and by all means if you have any specific questions on dog training techniques feel free to drop us a line.

On a different note... PMS'ing makes you emotional??

As long as there isn't an underlying issue and this is a catalyst for your feelings of jealousy, you need to remember that she is a dog. If your Master is like many of us, our animals are part of the family and pull at our heart strings... but she is still a dog and doesn't have the rationalization skills you do. There is no competition... you're human.

Take care,
Laura

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/17/2006 8:28:29 AM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ravn

oh boy do I have something to compete with.....Master's mother. He was in the middle of punishing me once and He stopped to answer her calls...all of them, then sex....she always manages to call during sex, and We have to go up there at least once every 2-3 days......it's insane. I love the woman to pieces, but there should be a limit

Ohhh talk about flash back to the past. Main reason my ex and i divorced was because of his mother. She always came first etc. example. Our daughters birthday was a couple weeks ago. He didn't send her a card but made sure to buy his mother $300 worth of perfume for mother's day. (mutual frineds ran into him while he was paying for it)

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/17/2006 8:42:02 AM

angelface183

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Jali,

thank you for starting this thread. I have a dog, a nine year old shepahard mix that looks and acts like a puppy. He is fairly well trained, but I let him get away with a lot. After all, he is my baby!

Anyway, my Beloved came over yesterday and they met for the first time. SacredDom took Buddy for a walk on a very short leash. He was given time to do his business, but it was made very clear that the new addtion to this pack was the BIG dog.

Buddy is used to sleeping on the bed with me and spent a good portion of the night whining about not being let on the bed. Apparently though he snuck up next to SD while I was sleeping and he had to get firm with him.

This may be difficult, but I want for Buddy to understand the dynamic, so I have to stay out of it. Even avoiding eye contact with Buddy when SD puts on the leash helps to enforce that SD is the one with the control.

I have taken to heart some of the things written here and am adapting them to fit my situation. Thanks again for starting this conversation.

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/17/2006 2:09:08 PM

slavejali

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My pleasure angelface....kinda a mundane topic but its the little things in life we have to deal with on a day to day basis...like laundry and dogs *grin*

Ive really really enjoyed reading the responses, so appreciate everyone who has contributed..thanks so much..Master has started putting into action some things already...well He had even before starting this topic..but he has increased changng the way she is dealt with.

This thread has also made me realise just how much I miss my dog..so I'm dealing with my grief for him now in a positive way. I have a tendency to put hurts under the carpet and just not think about them...which is good in the respect of not obsessing about the bad things that happen in life....but bad in the respect that they can come back and bite us in the ass when we are feeling vulnerable.

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/18/2006 8:21:13 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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mommies boys suck. My next relationship it's going to be a hard limit against mommie boys.

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

quote:

ORIGINAL: ravn

oh boy do I have something to compete with.....Master's mother. He was in the middle of punishing me once and He stopped to answer her calls...all of them, then sex....she always manages to call during sex, and We have to go up there at least once every 2-3 days......it's insane. I love the woman to pieces, but there should be a limit

Ohhh talk about flash back to the past. Main reason my ex and i divorced was because of his mother. She always came first etc. example. Our daughters birthday was a couple weeks ago. He didn't send her a card but made sure to buy his mother $300 worth of perfume for mother's day. (mutual frineds ran into him while he was paying for it)

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RE: Competing for attention... - 5/18/2006 11:06:28 PM

mastersayed

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there is a thing in psychology called conditioning. you can encourage behaviors with rewards and discourage them with punishment. lookup classical conditioning on the web. its the same way you get an animal to walk a tight rope or jump through a ring of fire. if you associate a punishment with her bad behavior she will star avoiding bad behaviors. also lookup pack order on the web (alpha, beta, omega...etc.) every pack has several roles in it. you have to be the dominant female. lookup wolf behavior and how places are determined in a pack. stare her down, smack her if necessary. you should know about the dynamics of dominance/submission since you're in a dom/sub relationship. also talk to your master. i wouldnt let an animal be superior to my slave.

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