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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/4/2011 5:07:51 PM   
AlwaysLisa


Posts: 1088
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline
quote:

1) You don't see a three plus year relationship lasting.


Based on what I have seen here, no, I don't.  Just my opinion.  I've seen it before, nothing personal.

quote:

2) You skimmed only but have decided we both fail as parents.


Yes, again, based on what I read.  I did manage to read what was written by star and yourself, and that is all that really matters.  

quote:

You say my 22 year old daughter is playing house because she has no house of her own yet or is not married or something


Because she is living under your roof, playing house with a live in boyfriend when by all accounts, at her age, they could be in their own place.   It was not mentioned that they were full time students at college, or my opinion may have been different.  How is this preparing either of them for life as adults?  

quote:

You say I taught her to manipulate because I let her live her with her boyfriend of two years knowing she would live on the street with him if I did not?


Don't twist my words.  You didn't teach her to manipulate, you allowed it.  Why do you think she would live on the street?  Does she have a car?  I'm assuming she does, though it was never mentioned.  Lots of down and out people live in cars while trying to better themselves.  I do apologize, for the conclusion she threatened you with living on the street, it's what I read between the lines and that isn't fair to you.   However, with two adults working, an apartment should not be a problem. 

quote:

You say her boyfriend of two years is a deadbeat even though he is working all the hours they give him at a difficult and physical job at least four days a week while still tryng to save money for a place of their own in an economy when having any job and keeping it means you are doing very good.


Is he in school?  If not, and he isn't harboring any physical problem that prevents him from hard work, there are manual labor jobs.  4 days a week, won't pay the rent, if he truly wanted out from under your roof, a second or third part time job could probably be found.  What is his motivation?  He has a roof over his head, food in his stomach and no worries.  He doesn't appear to be a "go getter", just by your statements here.

See, Art.... I have little sympathy for the situation, because I have seen what your type of parenting does to kids.  I have also seen the "tough love" approach, and while it may cause a rift between you and your daughter for a short while, when she is self supporting and out of your house, she will mature and you will have no concerns of her well being if either you, or the boyfriend should leave her life.   THAT is parenting, getting them on their feet, making sure they can handle anything life throws at them.   It's not fun, it's not pretty at times, but your job is to turn out adults, able to survive without you.   As for the younger ones, they are already forming opinions, watching their mother attempt to run the entire show and having difficulties.  Don't discredit them because of their age, they understand plenty. 


Remember, this was all shared, you allowed tammy to bring it to a public forum, asking for input.  So, mine wasn't all warm and fuzzy,...thats the beauty of input, you can take it or leave it.


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Just an old flower child, trying to survive in today's chaos and confusion.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 201
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/4/2011 5:38:40 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Oh FFS,  in this day and age, there are college graduates even all over the country living with mom and dad; couples living with mom and dad, hell families living with mom and dad because of the economy and such.  Anyone watch in the Company of Men lately?   Has anyone stepped back and thought maybe they CAN'T find other work or jobs??  I mean you can't judge these two kids without judging 10% of the Nation who is out of work or can't find work.  You can't judge these kids unless you judge all kinds of college and graduate school graduates who can't find jobs. 

From what it sounds like, this kid is working as many hours they will give him.  Something tells me if he is traveling so far out of town to get a job this may be the ONLY job he could get right now.  He sounds like he can't afford housing and so Arturas and his ex allow him to stay with them, and it sounds like they both pay rent (the daughter and the bf).

So i really don't get this JUDGMENT against Arturas for allowing his 22 year old daughter to live at home (as MANY 20 somethings are nowadays due to the economy) or the negative judgment because he is allowing her boyfriend to stay there when he isn't working.

HOWEVER, that being said, both of these kids should be helping around the house when they are there.  It sounds like they are. 

And Lisa, i believe Art and Tammy live out in the suburbs of Nashville area if not farther out, do you realize HOW MANY people are looking for jobs in those areas.  Most people are doing their OWN manual labor.  I suggest you get your head out of the sand and realize that in many places the economy still sucks.  Did you happen to MISS the day when i believe over 1,000,000 people applied for jobs at McDonalds. 

Before you start thinking people can get third and fourth jobs, understand there are people struggling to find ther FIRST jobs around here.  And before you start saying well he can look far and wide, the gas prices while they are going down will still put a big hole in your pocket so working for minumum wage at a job you spend 1/2 your paycheck simply in gas is not conducive to getting on your feet.
angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 7/4/2011 5:48:45 PM >

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(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 202
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/4/2011 8:04:57 PM   
AlwaysLisa


Posts: 1088
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline 		BA,

Where there is a will, there is a way.   I don't recall reading they were college students.  I also am well aware of the current economy.  However, if you pick up your local paper, you will find jobs.  Lawn care, tree trimming, asphalt companies, etc.   It may not be glamorous, but it's work.   Which was my point, why should they bust a gut, if there is no need?

Now, before you ride in on that horse, Tammy came here to bemoan the fact her kids and Arts kids didn't listen to her, she felt put upon, that she had to deal with the entire household and all that entails.   Was there a sudden change in that story that I missed?  I hope not, cuz I don't want to read the thread again.  

I chose to not offer input on her relationship with Art, for reasons I stated, however I did share my thoughts on child rearing.   Frankly, if things are as Tammy posted, and she is getting no respect from those in the house beneath her age, then there is a parenting problem.   This is a BDSM forum, so you should understand the bit about respect, and what happens when it is not there. 


_____________________________

Just an old flower child, trying to survive in today's chaos and confusion.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 203
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/4/2011 8:50:06 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		My issue with the daughter and the bf is that they help outside the home, the daughter cooks three meals a week, and they pay what they can afford.

At 16, I had a part time job, school work, two smaller brothers to watch, animals to feed before school every morning (farm), a small part of the garden to weed in the evenings and between those times there was dishes, laundry and meals to cook.

Then again, I didnt have a cell phone or a computer, FB or twitter.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 204
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/4/2011 8:51:51 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
~ FR ~

After wading through the first five or six pages of this train wreck, and then the last few, I still have a question. Is it safe to assume that this is not a household of cretinous slobs who don't wipe their asses after they shit, who enjoy watching the rats race after tossed food bits, and who consider roaches to be a form of entertainment? Okay, good. That's a start.

So, now, tammy says she wants the house neat and organized, but between her schedule and her fibro she can't do it. On the other hand, it's not as if the place is a disaster area, there's no film crew coming in, and, as she observed in one of her posts, sometimes she feels like the best place for her and her kids might somewhere else, just so the freaking dishes could be ignored for a day. So it sounds like she's capable of being realistic about what's possible.

But, there's a problem...

Master Manly Man expects to come home to an immaculate house every day, and doesn't give a bat's shit how it happens. Now I'm not a scientist, but I do believe that with a little math we can figure out where the source of the problem is here, and what's causing all the stress in the home.

K.


< Message edited by Kirata -- 7/4/2011 9:18:07 PM >

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 205
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/4/2011 9:24:16 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		My ex demanded a clean home. I had a daily chore list. If it wasnt done, and I was off, it was my ass. If it wasnt done, and I worked, he pitched in and did some. If it wasnt done and I was sick... he did it all without a complaint or criticism. And he worked 50 hours a week.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 7/4/2011 9:25:21 PM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Kirata)
Profile   Post #: 206
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 2:19:48 AM   
tammystarm


Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline 		Hey no worries, Ive got a week off from school, spring cleaning. YAY! ok not so much, but....yanno.....

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~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~



(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 207
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 6:36:55 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Delegate delegate delegate!!!

... grab a single tail whip and let the cleaning begin!!



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to tammystarm)
Profile   Post #: 208
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 10:14:25 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

Is there a chance that your master is resentful of your time at school?


of course not, he's the PERFECT master.


Not really, but I did encourage her to better herself in all things especially in things she loves and this subject is one she dearly loves and is good at. Hence, (I think) she is better than she was a year ago and I expect her to be even better a year from now working at what she loves to do.

You should try it.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 209
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 10:30:43 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		try what? encouraging someone to take on full time responsibility for not only her own kids, but someone elses? someone elses home? working/school on top of all that? while dealing with a debilitating disease?

whatever.

if it is working for ALL of you, and tammy is consenting to it.. wtf do I care? 

I mean, I used to...

but fuck it... my dog has decided that this hunt aint worth it.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 210
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 10:59:58 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


~ FR ~

After wading through the first five or six pages of this train wreck, and then the last few, I still have a question. Is it safe to assume that this is not a household of cretinous slobs who don't wipe their asses after they shit, who enjoy watching the rats race after tossed food bits, and who consider roaches to be a form of entertainment? Okay, good. That's a start.

So, now, tammy says she wants the house neat and organized, but between her schedule and her fibro she can't do it. On the other hand, it's not as if the place is a disaster area, there's no film crew coming in, and, as she observed in one of her posts, sometimes she feels like the best place for her and her kids might somewhere else, just so the freaking dishes could be ignored for a day. So it sounds like she's capable of being realistic about what's possible.

But, there's a problem...

Master Manly Man expects to come home to an immaculate house every day, and doesn't give a bat's shit how it happens. Now I'm not a scientist, but I do believe that with a little math we can figure out where the source of the problem is here, and what's causing all the stress in the home.

K.



Tam's never said "I don't give a bat's shit how it happens"? This is her OP...

[quote I need a neat, tidy and organized home, but I cannot do it alone, it is causing major stress along with severe flare ups with the fibro. I am a student at heart and cannot imagine not being there, in fact I get rather depressed when not in classes. But coming home with the house a mess, homework to do and pain from the roots of my hair to the bottom of my feet, well it is overwhelming. Master feels the same way about the house, when he comes home he expects it to be emaculant, I dont blame him, it is his home, he has worked hard for.]



< Message edited by Arturas -- 7/5/2011 11:02:57 AM >

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

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Profile   Post #: 211
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 11:29:36 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Reading comprehension issues? Kirata said MR MANLY MAN doesn't care how it happens. Which is evident.



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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 212
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 11:31:16 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		THANK YOU, HIBBIE!!

I couldn't figure out how to say that without being mod-level snarky..

but hey.. double vice stoppage... I *warned* folks!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 213
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 11:42:43 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		Easy to say. Tuff to prove. Why is it evident?

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"We master Our world."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 214
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 11:44:14 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		He made text up and inserted it in the original OP to suit his purpose. Yes, it is evident.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 215
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 11:45:15 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Really, Artie? We've all watched the trainwreck that is your lives. All you have offered up is excuses, no solutions. You don't owe us anything, of course, but your woman felt the need to display your household to the internet at large. Is all you have to offer her is an excuse?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 216
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 11:47:38 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		NM.

sending hunting dog back to kennel and Snarkmonster back to the cave.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 7/5/2011 11:50:05 AM >

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 217
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 11:59:57 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

try what? encouraging someone to take on full time responsibility for not only her own kids, but someone elses? someone elses home? working/school on top of all that? while dealing with a debilitating disease?

whatever.

if it is working for ALL of you, and tammy is consenting to it.. wtf do I care? 

I mean, I used to...

but fuck it... my dog has decided that this hunt aint worth it.


Try bettering yourself by posting with positive substantive encouragement rather than negative ones lacking substance with the "get rid of that pussy master" spin you've been using. Tam deserves better and you can do better and you have no idea what kind of a Master I am except from what tam writes and she has written nothing but good things and who is the best judge of a man? Additionally, she has nothing but good things to say about you and so she values you even from a distance and so do I for that reason.

Your post her is a good example, it is an extreme exaggeration and makes highly negative assumptions unsupported by anything tam has written or believes. This is because tam has no responsibility for someone else's kids. This is her home. She loves her school. We together deal with her fibro and other issues. It is an exaggerated highly negative and discouraging post based little on substance and more on spin.

Now she is here for encouragement and ideas from those sharing her plight. If you wish to simply trash her home, her master, her parenting skills, her name, her dog, her whatever then you are part of the problem and not the solution. Try doing better or as you say, "what the fuck do I care" and in that case perhaps it would be better if you don't say anything but I hope to hear from you.



< Message edited by Arturas -- 7/5/2011 12:07:28 PM >

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

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Profile   Post #: 218
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 12:05:19 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Really, Artie? We've all watched the trainwreck that is your lives. All you have offered up is excuses, no solutions. You don't owe us anything, of course, but your woman felt the need to display your household to the internet at large. Is all you have to offer her is an excuse?


Can we be a little bit more substantive and specific or its that all you have?
What exactly do I need to offer up an excuse for? Giive me one thing, just one.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 219
RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/5/2011 12:06:14 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		liek I said.. if it works for you, and tammy is consenting to it (notice I didn not say HAPPY with it).. then carry on.

personally, artie, I think you are an ass, and always HAVE thought so.

I am at the point now that I think tammy is happy being a doormat/victim/martyr.

hey, if it works for you both.. have at it. 


I'm done with you both.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 220
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