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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 6:41:26 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Holly, Holly, Holly. You and your giant brain! ~adores Hols~

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 6:41:26 AM

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i would agree wholeheartedly.... BUT now that we will be living on our own with the new bills that i have acquired since moving in with art, i need to finish and finish now, get the job asap.... will graduate in oct. .... But i do know what your saying and your absolutely correct and if i could figure out the budget with my bills, i would do that . But yes, i will keep every appointment with doctors, my school knows im on disability...they work with me.... so if anything just say a big fat prayer!!! and your support is greatly appreciated more than any of you know.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 6:50:05 AM

AlwaysLisa

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quote:

Jesus Christ, I truly know that my writing is NOT that hideous and I also know that you guys can read

Tammy, I am not "picking" on you, merely pointing out that if you want people to understand what you write, quit waffling, it's not the fault of the reader.

As to everything else, if you can go to school, you can hold down a job. You have stated "its not what you want", life isn't always about getting what "we want", alot of times it s about doing what is needed for our responsibilities. Such as children.

I agree with others, get your house in order, then deal with self improvement.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 7:05:04 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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Tammy, taking this at face value, Holly offered you sound advice. Never mind school for now, you are on Disability, deal with your pain, get it squared away and under good control THEN deal with school and such. That way you are free to see doctors.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 7:42:03 AM

tammystarm

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see above not much option... we dont qualify for any assistance programs such as food stamps etc. Our bills before any new bills like rent utilities is extremely high and there is very little i can do to cut them.... (although some i am)....... BUT my first objective is my children and my health. Yeah i know it sounds like its ridiculous but i still dont see any other choice. Yes i am going to school for something I LOVE however its the money that is needed. Most aestheticians gross more per week than nurses. Especially if your in a medical setting. All my scheduled appointments are handled on mondays , i dont goto school on monday...... and if the kids do their chores than coming home i can spend quality time with them. Even if it is reading a book in bed, and chatting about our day, plans etc. and not to mention now that we are moving out (Somehow) the house doesnt even have to be perfect.
I talked with the kids last night about housing. Of course they want the cool house or apartment. But I explained to them, that if we lived in a cheap cheap cheap place (not filled with bugs ), than we might be able to get furniture.... have just that tad bit of money to buy a pizza once a month etc....

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 7:46:59 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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Okay then my advice changes slightly. Clearly you need money. Are you allowed to work part-time and keep your Disability? If so, I suggest scraping school for now and finding part-time work so you have some money coming in. THAT is putting your priorities in order. School will wait, it'll still be there when your pain is under control.

Look, I know you are keen on getting your degree, I understand that. But it simply isn't a priority right now. Good luck kiddo! ~smiles fondly~

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 8:02:59 AM

tammystarm

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Yes i am allowed to work part time, though the hell they put you through. And i have tried for a part time job.... this economy is so bad in this area, well everyone was lined up at mcdonalds for jobs. Not even a convenience store job is open......
however if i can stick it out till december when i take the practical and written test, then there is a great chance of getting a great job.....
there are alot of options if i do graduate, that i have the upper hand on almost any candidate looking for the job... having managed and worked in a medical spa..... that i am a massage therapist, advanced aromatherapist etc etc etc (blahh blahhh)....
I know one girl who works two days a week all day long (mind you), does only microdermabrasions... and banks almost 150,000 a year.
I have the business skills, i have the technical skills, i have had extensive training on camaflouge makeup, i am very familar with obagi line.... and high end medical grade peels....and i come with my own equipment... i could park myself in a plastic surgeons office or even a dermatologist office... without marketing the heck outta myself, and not be of any consequence to the doctor if it didnt work out.
Then i could take the utmost care of me the kids and our lives.

Now i do really really do see everyones point on this...... but i am a really tough cookie, if i wasnt than i would just be home making the kids clean the house etc..... but even though sometimes the pain is so bad you want to shoot your best friend.....i make it though... maybe not gracefully.... but i thank God for my stubborn survival skills.... yes i sure as hell break down to all you guys and WAAAH is me.... but during that time, i see what my problems are that i didnt/couldnt see before and i come out stronger and ready to continue fighting.
Now just pray i make it....... ( i just spent several weeks out of school in may for severe migraines)
I am taking my vitamins, i am eating the best i can, i am trying my damnest to limit sodas coffee etc..... drink my water (that is my biggest problem) do my stretches and yoga, think positive thoughts, use the aromatherapies, alternative medical proceedures, my tens unit, a ton of hot bathes..... and i take those damn pills....

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 8:12:09 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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I (grudgingly) agree with what your plan is. Please continue to look for work, you never know.....

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 8:14:32 AM

LinnaeaBorealis

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I don't know if I've posted this already here & I'm too lazy to go back to look. When my daughter was 10, I was working two jobs, 60 hours a week, 7 days a week, to make sure that we had food & rent & that sort of thing. One day I realized that I couldn't continue at that pace, so I decided to go back to school to do something that I loved & that would pay buckets of money. I quit my weekday fulltime job, my parents agreed to pay my rent & I went back to school to get a 2-year degree in computer programming. This was 30 years ago, so a 2-year degree would have gotten me a great job. I was really tired of having to tell my daughter we couldn't have something because we couldn't afford it. I took 15-18 credits per quarter. School was really cheap back then so I could afford that. Near the end of my 6th quarter, I was run over by a car & ended up in a wheelchair for a couple months & had to take incompletes in my courses. And it gave me time to think. A LOT of time to think.

I looked at my priorities & realized that I was putting material stuff before my kid. Programmers back then got very little time off. They worked 16 hours or more each day & then were on call the rest of the 24. Many didn't get to sleep even all that much. And I'm looking at this 12 year-old kid who is getting needier as she enters her teen years. And I realized that my priorities were backward. Sure, I could do something I loved that would make me very happy, I could work really long hours, which also would make me very happy or I could raise this kid I brought into the world & after that job was done, I could do whatever I wanted to do.

So I finished school while I rehabbed, got my degree, even applied for a couple of jobs in the computer field, & then took a job in a hospital that paid enough for us to have a home & food & a few extras & made my daughter my number one priority. She grew into a fantastic woman who has morals & values & ethics, I never had trouble with her, except for the usual teenage shit, & I've never ever regretted that decision. After she was ready to be on her own, I moved to San Francisco, got a really well-paying job & had a great time. Then I got my CDL & drove a truck long haul.

The point is that I was able to raise her & then go out & do what made me happy. My strongly held belief is that when one decides to have children, one's job in life is those kids until they're grown. With your degrees & certificates you could get some piddly-assed job that only required just so many hours each week, spend the rest of your time raising those kids & when they're grown, go back to school & be whatever your little heart desires.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 8:14:40 AM

tammystarm

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agreed. woooahhhh lets agree to never agree again!

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 8:16:20 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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Can't promise that and fair warning, if you start with the drama again I'm going to smack you, fibro or not

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 8:28:02 AM

tammystarm

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ok anyone interested, I have never and will never put my kids last in anything. We have and will do without alot of things, probably for a good while..... my kids are stable, though extremely stubborn and hates doing any kind of work, which really aggravates me cause i did have a major high standard work ethic, and i just dont get them.... but i promise if my kids could tell ya, they dont want any other mom in the world, that they are very lucky and spoiled.

The main reason just so yanno with Art and i, is that when we moved in together, our relationship changed so drastically, he had to share me with the kids ALOT, he saw the hidden im in so much pain that i could kill you side, we never went out and did anything together, and then he never wanted to raise anymore kids, and mine as i said are stubborn, they saw that, even though he spoiled them as well, and they used it to tear at every angle, it was too much for him to handle. My depression got so bad i started doing things like spending money alot and that caused major havic....... so the mutually love is still there, but we have fought so much and said and did so much that well it could never work. Its rather disturbing..... i am have certainly come to the conslusion that i/we (the kids and i) are better off on our own. We (again kids and i)carry so much baggage no one can survive us. We've been through too much together.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:15:52 PM

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I can't decide whether the play by play coverage of the breakup of this relationship is trendy and therapeutic or tacky and embarrassing. Art came across as a real tool, what with the making you get rid of the cats and his defense of his free loader daughter, but if you loved him so much, why oh why are you disclosing all these personal details? That might be painful for him. So, is this some passive aggressive way to get even for his wrongs?
In any case, now I remember why I hate reality tv shows. This stuff is entertaining in a train wreck way, but not in a healthy way.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:35:15 PM

AlwaysLisa

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quote:

I can't decide whether the play by play coverage of the breakup of this relationship is trendy and therapeutic or tacky and embarrassing.

Depends on how you were raised. Before the Jerry Springer mentality took over, people discussed private matters in private. Like alot of things, I'm not sure this is a step "up" in society. I can still hear my gramma, giving us the "dirty laundry" lecture.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:35:59 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

ok anyone interested, I have never and will never put my kids last in anything. We have and will do without alot of things, probably for a good while..... my kids are stable, though extremely stubborn and hates doing any kind of work, which really aggravates me cause i did have a major high standard work ethic, and i just dont get them.... but i promise if my kids could tell ya, they dont want any other mom in the world, that they are very lucky and spoiled.

The main reason just so yanno with Art and i, is that when we moved in together, our relationship changed so drastically, he had to share me with the kids ALOT, he saw the hidden im in so much pain that i could kill you side, we never went out and did anything together, and then he never wanted to raise anymore kids, and mine as i said are stubborn, they saw that, even though he spoiled them as well, and they used it to tear at every angle, it was too much for him to handle. My depression got so bad i started doing things like spending money alot and that caused major havic....... so the mutually love is still there, but we have fought so much and said and did so much that well it could never work. Its rather disturbing..... i am have certainly come to the conslusion that i/we (the kids and i) are better off on our own. We (again kids and i)carry so much baggage no one can survive us. We've been through too much together.

Tammy,
It just is not a good thing to bring up one's kids in the You and Me Against the World bubble.

I made numerous suggestions that the kids and you need counselling of the family type.
I think you need your own therapist but from what you have said I just do not envision you being able to reign them in without professional help. Generally what will happen with kids who do not have boundaries is that they will keep pushing until they find them and if a parent can't or won't provide boundaries and limits they will push outside the parental bounds (because there are essentially none) and find themselves under the control of first law enforcement and then the judicial system.

The kids aren't just stubborn and if they are "spoiled" it is in part because you allowed it (no matter who else was in the house).
Messy house and disrespectful children is a sign that something has gone wrong. Get the help you need to turn it around.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:36:05 PM

Lucylastic

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I havent gone thru this mess until today, but honestly its lining up to be as tragic as Tap tap tap
thats all I have to say

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:39:13 PM

GreedyTop

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but not as amusing.....

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:43:42 PM

Lucylastic

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Im ajust zip my mouf

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:45:34 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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I disagree, this thread is nowhere near the ridiculousity of the Tap, Tap thread.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/11/2011 12:52:38 PM

Iamsemisweet

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I have always believed when ending a relationship, regardless of who shoots it in the head first, it is best to end it in such a way that the other person has some regrets and wonders if breaking up is REALLY the right thing. That's how you turn into "the one that got away." I imagine the ex in this sad story is not going to feel that way. His thinking will probably be more along the lines of "thank god and grayhound she's gone" (to quote an old country western song).

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