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LafayetteLady -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/11/2011 2:27:51 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tammystarm
ok anyone interested, I have never and will never put my kids last in anything. We have and will do without alot of things, probably for a good while..... my kids are stable, though extremely stubborn and hates doing any kind of work, which really aggravates me cause i did have a major high standard work ethic, and i just dont get them.... but i promise if my kids could tell ya, they dont want any other mom in the world, that they are very lucky and spoiled.
The main reason just so yanno with Art and i, is that when we moved in together, our relationship changed so drastically, he had to share me with the kids ALOT, he saw the hidden im in so much pain that i could kill you side, we never went out and did anything together, and then he never wanted to raise anymore kids, and mine as i said are stubborn, they saw that, even though he spoiled them as well, and they used it to tear at every angle, it was too much for him to handle. My depression got so bad i started doing things like spending money alot and that caused major havic....... so the mutually love is still there, but we have fought so much and said and did so much that well it could never work. Its rather disturbing..... i am have certainly come to the conslusion that i/we (the kids and i) are better off on our own. We (again kids and i)carry so much baggage no one can survive us. We've been through too much together.
Yet, Art's journal talks about how often he went to the Mark. Guess you just stayed home and he went alone.
How, when living with someone else, did you manage to run up bills that you now must be responsible for? I guess Art graciously took your disability checks for your contribution to household costs. Of course, considering the cost of housing in Tennessee is far less than where I live up north.
Do your children get Social Security benefits? Not only would they qualify because you are collecting disability, but they qualify due to the death of their father. I'm not sure how much extra it would be, but my memory tells me it is at least a third each of what you get. If the $850 a month in disability includes their benefits, then you never really worked much at all, since disability (as well as "regular" Social Security) is based on the income you made during the time you worked.
As for not qualifying for any benefits, you get medical benefits with your disability and the kids should also get medical benefits. If TN has a form of "kid care," then they will have very good benefits. Also, you could qualify for medicaid which would not only give you added insurance, it would cover the cost of your medicare payments. Given the cost of housing and utilities, you very well might qualify for food stamps, even though you will not qualify for any cash assistance.
You are permitted to work part time while collecting disability. Even if you only made a hundred bucks a week part time (which would be about 13 hours a week at minimum wage), that's $400 a month. Problem is you need to be diligent about looking, which you obvioiusly have decided not to be.
If you haven't applied for benefits for your children, then get out and do it. If you were turned down for any Social Services help because you were living with Art (which would have disqualified you), then go and apply again. You could even get help from them for a security deposit on a new place.
Social Security, disability and Social Services are not regulated at the state level, they are federal programs. Most Social Services agencies also have contacts with organizations that donate further.
Yes, getting all these things is a lot of work, but it is for your kids that you keep saying come first.
There is no excuse for why you haven't applied for Social Security benefits for your children. Your shame and embarassment makes no difference. That money is for your children. If you let your personal feelings interfere with getting those for your children, then you have no right saying your kids come first, because your actions belie your words.
I've no doubt that once you finish school and get your certification, which won't arrive before January, that you will either work in the field for a short time before deciding you want to do something else, or you will just choose to go on to something else.
Oh yea, and one of the reasons you might not qualify for Social Services assistance is because they feel with all of your degrees, certifications and qualifications, you should be looking for a job, not deciding on a new career. Social Services is funny that way, they expect you to make every effort to find a job, which you don't want to do, being the perpetual student and all.
I repeat what I and others have said all along. Use your insurance and get yourself to a therapist to find out why you would rather stay in school "perpetually" instead of being a grown up and supporting your children.
ETA:
Also, no "court ordered" community service program requires children to go on field trips as a reward for doing what they were court ordered to do. Likewise, if you had doctor's notes to prove your child's sickness was the reason for missing so much school, community service wouldn't have been ordered. In fact, they would have put your child on home tutoring during that time. How do I know this? Been through it with my own kid.
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