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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 12:40:03 PM

GreedyTop

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because at one time, I considered Tammy a friend,,,

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 12:42:08 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Then be one and encourage her or at least stop bringing up her past.

oh....

POS, doormat that fell apart the first time it rained. You're really on a roll aren't you ~snerk~

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 12:43:47 PM

GreedyTop

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sometimes, being a friend requires you to say the things the person you care about doesnt want to hear......

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 12:45:59 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Yes but if that's all you ever say it becomes counterproductive, especially if it comes with a message of "I don't think you will ever change.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 12:48:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I have my fingers crossed. It CAN happen.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 12:51:23 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Of course it can. Having her past behaviour shoved in her face won't help though. Neither will being kicked when she's down.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 1:26:23 PM

AlwaysLisa

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I think it's great zephyr that you are being so supportive of someone you consider a friend.

Let me preface what I am going to say next, with the statement that I will be the first one to apologize and admit I was wrong, if things do indeed change.   I won't kick a dog when they are down, and like a dog, I believe people can be taught, no matter the age or past.

That being said, this sounds very similiar to a junkie being given cash handouts while begging in front of McDonalds.   You pretty well know he/she isn't buying food, and that money you just dished out will end up in a needle, but you give in and slip them a 10.00 bill.   I prefer to offer to buy them food, I know then where the money is going and I am not supporting a habit.

I'm on a wait and see program, to see if she will buy the hamburger, or the syringe.    It's difficult, on a message forum, to know the person typing. I've been fooled before, so now I tend to always have my radar on, and I gotta say, these two folks have sent it off the charts!   As Art himself (we think it was Art), said.. "no one here knows the real reason Tam is leaving".   *bing, bing, bing* Radar alert!    Even though things were pretty laid out, not all the facts were given, so it's hard to come to any reasonable conclusion.   I hesitate to say it was anyone's fault, since we don't know details. Maybe the dog developed uncontrollable farts and it was too much for them to take...sounds silly, but hell, this whole thread is sort of like that, lol

My wish would be for them both to find happiness and financial security.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 1:27:42 PM

DavidLee44UK

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some people are scared to grow or scared for others to grow

because they are scared that the personal will see where he/she is when she grows and may not be comfortable

and may loose that persons love friendship etc

anyone can be anything they want

and if someone doesn't want their friend partner to grow

then i believe that's selfish

< Message edited by DavidLee44UK -- 7/12/2011 1:30:07 PM >

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 1:49:43 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Exactly Lisa, all we have to go on is what's written here. That's why I'm not totally emotionally invested in helping Tammy HOWEVER I'm also not going to continue to hit her over the head with her past. That serves no purpose at all.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 2:08:35 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Don't be hating the llamas!!!

one school in peru (in arequipo, I think was the name of that area) had 2 llamas in the middle of their sportsground...which made me wonder if that helped their students to run faster their rounds....

Arequippa... Ahhh I have some seriously fond memories of Arequippa..... I gotta get back there. Wanna join me for a vacay? Heck why don't you take that shiny new degree and come work with me and let's go be bad all over the world together! Yes, it's a plan. Def. a plan.... come to think of it... I'm a start a thread.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 7/12/2011 2:17:18 PM >

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 2:56:30 PM

Phoenixpower

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I admire your Support zeph but i agree with greedys View. I wish tammy well and Evry success but am not jumping into hasty beliefs. Anyhow good luck to tammy

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 3:17:01 PM

Phoenixpower

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Oh sunshinemiss, seriously if i would Be younger or had different Goals in Life than i do, or Even when i wouldnt have my Zoo of cats, i would actually Be up for it As Yes my degree would help me Even over there *blushes with pride*. however, i was so Dirty in the uk, there is no more left for another Country for the Years to Come, i'm afraid

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 3:40:41 PM

tammystarm

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Jesus, with friends like these.... well i am glad i am back to school with my new found friends.

i just read back two pages, and everyone is still going on.......

thanks for the support to those who have been supportive
and those who just wanna knock someone down.... doesnt bother me, anymore, once you were my life, now i am in a much better place.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 4:29:58 PM

LafayetteLady

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Tammy what you have is a resume with not only lots of holes from time off, but a bunch of job hopping. Add to that your medical issues and you are not a great risk for employers.

You are a dreamer refusing to face reality. I can't help but wonder if part of your reasoning for your recent relationship was the ability to stay in school.

And incidently, if your total income WITH the kids social security benefits is $850 then you really have very little work history. If you are excluding their income and instead using their payments to make sure they have the latest electronics you are a fool.

Cash assitance is hard to come by and an income of less than $200 bucks a week can exclude you but food stamps and medicaid qualify using different criteria.

I don't care what you claim to have applied for, I've worked helping direct people on disability, after divorce or whatever find the necessary services, and I was one of the best at what I did.

You have already put your kids through enough with your relationship to Art and choosing school instead of your health or providing structure for your kids. It's time to stop being so God damned selfish and self centered. Grow up and focus on your kids. If that means not working and not having everything then so be it.

At this point, it seems as though most of us don't find you to know the truth from a lie and are seriously deluded. Do you really think in this economy, with so many out of work, and much younger people than you who are healthier and haven't job hopped, you are the much better job candidate?

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 4:50:27 PM

AlwaysLisa

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quote:

At this point, it seems as though most of us don't find you to know the truth from a lie and are seriously deluded. Do you really think in this economy, with so many out of work, and much younger people than you who are healthier and haven't job hopped, you are the much better job candidate?

A friend of mine who manages a large employment agency, was just telling me at our last lunch, how right now is an employers market. They are requesting background checks, credit checks on most, and even what used to be called a "lowly" receptionist, a degree is being asked for. Whats more, they are finding people with degrees, jumping on those barely above minimum wage positions! So, if your resume isn't spit and polished, filled with all kinds of goodies and your work history is somewhat iffy....it might be a long wait for that job.

I'm thinking of becoming a survivalist on the next mountain range over, if I could just figure out a way to live off the land, have no expenses AND keep my cellphone.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 4:56:33 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

I'm thinking of becoming a survivalist on the next mountain range over, if I could just figure out a way to live off the land, have no expenses AND keep my cellphone.

~sigh~ that sounds really good, can I join you?

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 4:56:41 PM

LafayetteLady

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Quite frankly Art, I don't know your "history" around here, and am not all that interested.

But to be honest, based on what your former partner has said for the last 40 pages, I would say you had your hands full with all the baggages this woman carts along with her.

I'm sure you played your part in the failure of the relationship, but based on her comments, i would have been done with her long befor three years.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 5:10:12 PM

tammystarm

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa

quote:

At this point, it seems as though most of us don't find you to know the truth from a lie and are seriously deluded. Do you really think in this economy, with so many out of work, and much younger people than you who are healthier and haven't job hopped, you are the much better job candidate?

A friend of mine who manages a large employment agency, was just telling me at our last lunch, how right now is an employers market. They are requesting background checks, credit checks on most, and even what used to be called a "lowly" receptionist, a degree is being asked for. Whats more, they are finding people with degrees, jumping on those barely above minimum wage positions! So, if your resume isn't spit and polished, filled with all kinds of goodies and your work history is somewhat iffy....it might be a long wait for that job.

I'm thinking of becoming a survivalist on the next mountain range over, if I could just figure out a way to live off the land, have no expenses AND keep my cellphone.

I have great references at a long standing med spa... i dont have that much of a worry GETTING the job, my worry is more of being able to handle the job...yanno.

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 5:54:03 PM

tammystarm

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and just so you know, not for nothing, everyones opinion did count, even the ones i didnt want to see. thanks for many who cared...

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RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 - 7/12/2011 7:35:34 PM

wandersalone

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Tam how are things going with the kids? Have you been able to be consistent with any changes that you implemented? You will generally find that it does take a while for them to change their old patterns and that you still need to badger them to get them to make their beds, wash dishes etc, but over time the nagging should become less as they adopt the new habits and realise that each time they don't do as required that there will be consequences.

Hope it is working out

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