RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., etc.......

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RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 4:12:39 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
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From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
You can't change the species of the flower you find as a bud, you can only help it blossom and bloom.

Well said, excellent!

No, but you can hybridize and breed it!

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Post #: 41

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 4:48:23 PM

Reflectivesoul

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quote:

No, but you can hybridize and breed it!

Thus changing the original, taking away its individuality to turn it into something else, therefore defeating the entire purpose.

I dont feel the goal to any relationship should be to change someone.

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Post #: 42

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 5:04:07 PM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

quote:

No, but you can hybridize and breed it!

Thus changing the original, taking away its individuality to turn it into something else, therefore defeating the entire purpose.

I dont feel the goal to any relationship should be to change someone.

Okay, but what about cloning?

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Post #: 43

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 5:07:53 PM

Reflectivesoul

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Just as long as you intend to keep the clone, incase it gets out of line and decides to run rampant through the streets naked and peeing on sidewalks!

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Post #: 44

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 5:37:18 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I agree with merc. No one can make you change or force those changes upon you. You change because you want to...because it's the natural course for you.

This reminds me of that old joke: How may psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

The majority of thr work that's done in psychotherapy is actually done by the patient. The counselor simply acts as a guide. They ask questions and make suggestions, but if the client is resistant change, there's little that can be done. Every breakthrough, every realization has to be made by the person in therapy.

You can compare this to D/s relationships, thus I agree with you. The submissive must want to change in order for any change to really take place. But if the Dominant wants to change too much about the submissive, that brings in to question whether or not they are a good match. I do think it's important to discover ahead of time whether or not you're a good match. In a previous thread, I talked about matching puzzle pieces. You can't force mismatched puzzle pieces together any more than Bizarro Superman can shove a square block into a round hole. Okay, it can happen, but it's going to be really, really messy and something's going to be broken, and not in a good way.

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Post #: 45

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 5:41:52 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
You can't change the species of the flower you find as a bud, you can only help it blossom and bloom.

Well said, excellent!

No, but you can hybridize and breed it!

And that's the fun part!

_____________________________

"Open up your mind; Let your fantasies unwind." -The Phantom, Phantom of the Opera

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -Toulouse-Lautrec, Moulin Rouge

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Post #: 46

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 5:54:58 PM

Reflectivesoul

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Michael

( although if this in any way pertains to giving you nice pretty flamin nails then I have to admit then yep its kinda fun lol heeheehee.... but I'm not changing anything, just making the outside a little prettier so

lol )

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Post #: 47

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 6:28:12 PM

CERCKL

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Joined: 3/4/2006
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quote:

Ahhhh....but how is this "training" accomplished? Do you make her go stand in the corner for an hour, kneeling on rice with a butt plug up her ass?.... do you beat it into her?.....or can you go to her, one adult to another and say "I really admire and value that quality and trait in you and I would love for you to work on expanding upon and accentuating it" and know that she will do that because she has a desire to please you? If it is the latter, I would suggest that what you call training and molding is merely communication between two adults that are trying to give each other the fulfillment they seek within this dynamic.

This is communication but I also believe just saying it, at least for me, is also presented with things which will help her achieve this; finding out more so I can give her information; guidance; support...it isn't an attempt to mold what isn't there already but rather to discover not only what she is capable of and talented in but to access what is important to her...as well as realizing that by developing these areas not only pleases me but serves in an area...

C

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Post #: 48

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 6:38:40 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Training, brainwashing, mind control, molding, hypnosis to make one submissive....the list goes on and on.......

Does anyone just approach this from the perspective of a Dominant personality building an existance together with a submissive personality because that is who you are as people and you have a sincere desire to find a counterpart in life that you can expand upon those qualities in yourself with?

Two ADULTS who know who they are and can function within their Dominant and submissive personalities without having to resort to a multitude of mindgames to reinforce or prove their predisposition to their nature....

When you meet someone, do you meet them and think "This is going to be the perfect match for me....as soon as I transform them into somebody else?". Or do you say, "This is a human being who possesses the qualities that I desire in a partner and who I feel that I can communicate with as an adult and share our expectations of each other, make our compromises and have a fulfilling relationship where we both honor and respect the other"?

Am I the odd man out here? Is it the majority who believes that you can not live this lifestyle unless you are constantly incorporating headgames?

No, you're definitely not the odd man out, but then, I often feel I am the odd man out myself, it's nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel. Now if I could just find a dominant man that feels the same way!

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Post #: 49

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 6:46:24 PM

piscess

Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Training, brainwashing, mind control, molding, hypnosis to make one submissive....the list goes on and on.......

Does anyone just approach this from the perspective of a Dominant personality building an existance together with a submissive personality because that is who you are as people and you have a sincere desire to find a counterpart in life that you can expand upon those qualities in yourself with?

Two ADULTS who know who they are and can function within their Dominant and submissive personalities without having to resort to a multitude of mindgames to reinforce or prove their predisposition to their nature....

When you meet someone, do you meet them and think "This is going to be the perfect match for me....as soon as I transform them into somebody else?". Or do you say, "This is a human being who possesses the qualities that I desire in a partner and who I feel that I can communicate with as an adult and share our expectations of each other, make our compromises and have a fulfilling relationship where we both honor and respect the other"?

Am I the odd man out here? Is it the majority who believes that you can not live this lifestyle unless you are constantly incorporating headgames?

Nope, not alone and great post thanks.

piscess

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RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 7:45:17 PM

Sinergy

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Hello A/all,

I believe the term "breaking" goes back to raising horses to be ridden by people. A horse is a pack animal, naturally submissive to the alpha male, but driven by the need to belong to their herd, pack, whatever. A human is perceived by the horse on a visceral level as a predator and/or enemy. To break a horse is to train that horse to the point where it will allow itself to be ridden by this predator, and to consider the human to be the Alpha in the relationship.

In essence, breaking a horse turns it from what it naturally IS (a horse that is frightened by predators) into something it IS NOT (a horse that relies on predators to control it and survive.)

Applying that idea to having a submissive seems a bit strange to me. I dont want to force a woman to be a mindless drudge who will clean my apartment and provide me with 24x7 blowjobs. I want somebody I can go to her PhD graduation and applaud. Somebody I can share her triumphs and sorrows. Somebody I can meld with in the D/s lifestyle. To me, a powerful and intelligent submissive is the greatest compliment to my being a Dominant that I can think of; she is strong and powerful and yet submits to me. In a relationship with me the sum of the two of us is a greater quantity than both of us apart would add up to.

The testing thread seemed weird to me. I prefer the surprises and not knowing what she is going to come up with tomorrow. Additionally, I dont get a big ego thrill out of witnessing or causing other people to fail.

Just me, could be wrong, yadda yadda yadda

Sinergy

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RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 7:51:19 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

Michael

( although if this in any way pertains to giving you nice pretty flamin nails then I have to admit then yep its kinda fun lol heeheehee.... but I'm not changing anything, just making the outside a little prettier so lol )

*LOL* No thanks! I do cross-dress, but I draw the line at pretty flamin' nails!

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Post #: 52

RE: Testing, being broken, regular punishment, etc., et... - 5/16/2006 8:01:33 PM

gooddogbenji

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MUST...... HAVE..... BRAINS......

*Wanders off, looking for more victims to zombinize*

Yours,

benji

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Post #: 53