It's just so silly

It's just so silly (Full Version)

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Asherscorp1 -> It's just so silly (6/30/2011 6:59:23 AM)
Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts? This is all just so silly." Calling someone "Master" or being a "pet," objectifying another person, expecting them to obey commands, when set up in the context of "real life" with kids, board meetings, elections, does it ever strike you as a ridiculous way to spend your life? Last night Master had to correct the way I was arranging the kitchen three times and each time I had to kneel at his feet while he explained. In the middle I almost grinned once, thinking, I am grown woman, this is MY kitchen after all, how silly is this? Yet, I'd never want it any other way. Anyone else ever have brief flashes where you just shake your head at your own absurdity?

DecadentDesire -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 7:17:40 AM)
I would be lying if I said I never had those kind of feelings. However, I deal with those feelings by recognizing that I don't feel that way it's because it's "wrong", but because what I want out of my love life conflicts with what I have been raised and socialized to view as "normal"

leadership527 -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 7:20:36 AM)
LOL - ALL the damned time. If someone had tried to tell me 5 years ago that I would come to see Carol as my property I'd have fallen over laughing. OK, it seems to be working out for us, but this is a REALLY odd way to run a railroad.

Asherscorp1 -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 7:29:29 AM)
I am so glad you, specifically, said that since I love your posts and look forward to your insights. I definitely would have laughed and perhaps hit someone if they had told me three years ago I'd "belong" to a man or be obedient in every-day life. It amazes me how right it is yet how strange it all seems when I examine it.

DesFIP -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 7:56:51 AM)
I can't imagine him being so silly as to rearrange a kitchen he doesn't work in. Especially because it will cause him more work in the long run as everything I have on lower shelves so I can reach them, would then be out of my reach and he'd have to keep getting them for me. But we don't use honorifics and such. We know what we are to each other in the heart and that's more important here.

IrishMist -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 8:33:36 AM)
quote: Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts? This is all just so silly." No; never thought that. quote: Calling someone "Master" or being a "pet," objectifying another person, expecting them to obey commands, when set up in the context of "real life" with kids, board meetings, elections, does it ever strike you as a ridiculous way to spend your life? Of course not. quote: Anyone else ever have brief flashes where you just shake your head at your own absurdity? I never have

VaguelyCurious -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 10:28:56 AM)
FR Yeah, all the time. But I also think that about my irrational kitchen habits (peelings go in the brown bowl and only the brown bowl, unless potatoes are involved in which case everything goes in newspaper), CreepyStalker's hatred of cowboy hats (unexpected but VITRIOLIC), my inability to sit and watch someone else clean their glasses without wanting to do it for them... Basically, life is ridiculous. People are ridiculous. Anyone who doesn't at some point look at the behaviours they've developed and go 'hah! That's actually kind of silly!' just isn't looking hard enough.

littlewonder -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 10:42:13 AM)
no. just seems natural to me. it's always been like this for me in my relationships. it would seem silly for me to think of it in any other way

Missokyst -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 10:44:18 AM)
Nope, never thought of it. But I don't get silly rules to follow, or requirements to call anyone master, or any other signifier that many do when enjoying ds.

MsKittyValentine -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 10:50:48 AM)
Not generally as we are not high or even medium protocol. We seem to just live like two people in love with one in control. He does sometimes call me Mistress normally if I am actually doing something sexual or painful but then it feels right, not laughable. I honestly feel my life with paulss is a very natural way for me to live.

LaTigresse -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 10:51:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious FR Yeah, all the time. But I also think that about my irrational kitchen habits (peelings go in the brown bowl and only the brown bowl, unless potatoes are involved in which case everything goes in newspaper), CreepyStalker's hatred of cowboy hats (unexpected but VITRIOLIC), my inability to sit and watch someone else clean their glasses without wanting to do it for them... Basically, life is ridiculous. People are ridiculous. Anyone who doesn't at some point look at the behaviours they've developed and go 'hah! That's actually kind of silly!' just isn't looking hard enough. This.

Muttling -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 11:10:43 AM)
I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful.

lizi -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 11:27:43 AM)
My disconnect comes more from the ridiculously cutsey things we say and do as two people who are just goofy in love. The hurty things seem more acceptable to me. It's more the lovey dovey things that make one part of me go 'good God woman, what did you just say!' and the other part melt into a puddle when he says it first. Pookie, darling, sunshine, cutie pie....the horror, the HORROR! Part of me watches from a distance and gags, the other part gazes adoringly waiting for the next bit of sweetness to come my way.

SailingBum -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 3:25:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1 Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts? This is all just so silly." Calling someone "Master" Actually no. Ive called my boss "boss" sometimes I call ppl mister, Call a priest "father" Call my mom "crazy lady" So is the priest really my father not that I'm aware of. Is my mom really crazy well that's debatable. Absurd I don't think so. My kids call me Dad. Their kids call me Pops you get the idea. Aint no thang BadOne

sunshinemiss -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 3:28:06 PM)
A lot of things in life are silly. Have you seen some of the things that pass for fashion?

SailingBum -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 3:29:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Muttling I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful. I really can't relate as Im in charge 24/7 it's just my nature to be in or take charge of a situation. That's not to say Im always barking orders. You can be in control in very subtle ways. BadOne

Muttling -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 5:35:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: Muttling I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful. I really can't relate as Im in charge 24/7 it's just my nature to be in or take charge of a situation. That's not to say Im always barking orders. You can be in control in very subtle ways. BadOne It's not a relationship that many can fully relate to and you can see that from other posts on this topic here on CM. Most folks who have vanilla and kinky relationships keep them separate. A quirk of mine is that I'm not comfortable in a kinky relationship (even a play partner one) unless the vanilla aspect of mutual respect is there and right first.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 6:40:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1 Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts? The orgasms tend to obscure such thoughts. [;)][:D] lol

SailingBum -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 8:23:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Muttling quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: Muttling I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful. I really can't relate as Im in charge 24/7 it's just my nature to be in or take charge of a situation. That's not to say Im always barking orders. You can be in control in very subtle ways. BadOne It's not a relationship that many can fully relate to and you can see that from other posts on this topic here on CM. Most folks who have vanilla and kinky relationships keep them separate. A quirk of mine is that I'm not comfortable in a kinky relationship (even a play partner one) unless the vanilla aspect of mutual respect is there and right first. Therein lies the rub. I can only speak for myself as I have no idea nor do I care about other ppl dynamic. I don't view life in terms of vanilla and kinky that entire concept makes zero sense to me. I am the dominate one in all areas of my life. I dont have a switch that I turn on and off. I dont view myself as kinky I just have different needs shall we say A bit left of mainstream. My girl and I dont have a kinky relationship <whatever that is> We have a relationship based on what works for us. BadOne

playfulotter -> RE: It's just so silly (6/30/2011 8:38:14 PM)
In my last few relationships I have done it and thought it was silly at times but wanting to please was more important....but over my last 10 years being into this I have done it less and less or I should say said things less "silly"....Only when someone brings it out it me does it seem "right"..then not silly at all....

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