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RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 1:48:28 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think a lot of people who are trying to give this thing a shot are folks that believe that it's a relationship shortcut.  From the outside looking in (translation - no experience in a long term dynamic) someone might think it doesn't really take relationship or communication skills with a partner.  They just see the hype of 'I say, you do' and think it's easy to slip into that with someone they haven't even met.


Kerbingo. Spot on.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 2:06:21 PM   
whatisthewhat


Posts: 43
Joined: 4/12/2011
Status: offline 		From this hetero female sub's perspective, some of this Dom/Master control everything from the outset/bark some orders and be done with it nonsense is actually an excuse to bring some internalized hatred of women to fruition. "Women are nothing but whores and sluts, by god, and here's one that proves it!" I once knew a sub who saw her dom about once a month, and all she did was clean his bathroom and get paddled until her ass cheeks were two huge, angry bruises. After about 3 months, she realized this was ridiculous and that she was being used. Thankfully, the only thing I ever fell for was the married man and "my wife doesn't understand" routine as a way to get some (my) tail on the side.

Now I have a Dom who likes women, who likes that I am opinionated and intelligent, who thanks me for even the routine tasks I do...Yes, I serve his needs, but really, I think he serves mine even more.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 2:08:19 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whatisthewhat

From this hetero female sub's perspective, some of this Dom/Master control everything from the outset/bark some orders and be done with it nonsense is actually an excuse to bring some internalized hatred of women to fruition. "Women are nothing but whores and sluts, by god, and here's one that proves it!"


goodness have i met my share of those guys.
i've actually even met FEMALE dominants who felt the same. =p


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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to whatisthewhat)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 2:35:03 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

that the men being the most demanding about the degree of submission in their mates (whom they hope to meet) seem to be the ones least deserving of any submission at all?


I can't answer that one. I don't read many profiles written by dominant males. I'll take your word for it. I do read profiles written by submissive females and your logic definitely applies there.


_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 3:09:50 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whatisthewhat


Yes, I serve his needs, but really, I think he serves mine even more.


To me, this is really the crux of the matter: are your needs being met? Do you get enough satisfaction from the dynamic to make it worth your while? Certainly does simplify things, doesn't it?

As for the OP: what most everyone else said: shortcuts, laziness, immaturity, unrealistic expectations, plain fucking stupid (channeling Hannah) and PORN CONTAMINATION!

(in reply to whatisthewhat)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 9:25:41 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
that the men being the most demanding about the degree of submission in their mates (whom they hope to meet) seem to be the ones least deserving of any submission at all?

It's what Carol calls "the guy in the Lamborghini" syndrome... or in this case, the guy not in the Lamborghini.

If you're driving a Lamborghini and a kid in a souped up honda civic pulls up next to you at the stoplight and revs his engine there's no need to drag him out of the light.

Look, I'm confident... confident in myself and what I have to offer a life partner. I'm also confident in my ability to take charge and assume authority when I want or need to. So it'd be pointless for me to spell out some long laundry list of crap I "demand" sight unseen. I'll get whatever I want when I decide I want it.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 10:08:55 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

that the men being the most demanding about the degree of submission in their mates (whom they hope to meet) seem to be the ones least deserving of any submission at all?

I just read the profile of a 27 year old TPE Master....



Because both sexes have what they believe is the definition of what submission is. Unfortunately it seems that people who share the same opinion rarely ever find one another.

< Message edited by Acer49 -- 6/30/2011 10:09:52 PM >

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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 10:13:36 PM   
orchid77


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/20/2011
Status: offline 		DarkSteven a lot of men young and old are insecure and they view this lifestyle on a completely different level- usually a dangerous one. These men have no respect for those who submit to them, will often abuse, control, use, misuse, and then like tissue wallow the sub up and put them in the trash. They have never done any research, been mentored, nor even care about learning the D/s lifestyle on any level. These are the same men who often state they have No Limits, No Safe Words, and will beat the hell out of you FOR REAL. And because we have submissives out there who are sometimes desperate to serve- they fall into the traps and snares of men who say they know what being a dominant is all about, but really their only mission is to tear down the person bit by bit.

I have said this before men are the reason they are having so many problems in this world. This is a male-dominated society but instead of cherishing those who would look up to them. They prefer to have tantrums or rape or kill innocent victims. They want to be treated like kings but don't know how to go about doing it. They play dirty mindgames. Are very good manipulators and really have lots and lots of issues. And instead of dealing with them...they take it out on everyone else.

Sorry to say a lot of men these days fit this category. So when a good man comes along...you have so many burned out subs they don't trust anyone.

And the cycle continues...

< Message edited by orchid77 -- 6/30/2011 10:16:47 PM >

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why is it.... - 7/1/2011 1:17:54 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Too much porn


*LOL* But you're probably right, or at least partially so...sad as that is. (Not the you being right part, but the part you are right about.)

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why is it.... - 7/1/2011 2:39:09 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5


I just was perved by a 28 yo master with 13 years of experience!!!



Woman, use logic, clearly he was a prodigy and snatched candy from girls or pulled their pig tails! Don't you know nuttin? He possibly was already dominant in kindergarden so he was underplaying his experience

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why is it.... - 7/1/2011 10:45:56 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Yes, many of us didnt come by getting into our 40s and 50s and 60s and alone by being good at relationships, one hopes we learn.


Maybe it wasn't being good at relationships, but rather, sucking at who we picked to have them with.


I would rather look at the positive side of this, the relationships I was involved with worked for as long as they worked, and then they ended. I do not think that it means you lack relationship skills because some of your relationships do not last. I think it maybe that people who have ended their relationships knew when the getting was good and were not willing to settle for being in a relationship that was not satisfying for them. Or their needs changed.

Some of the most unhappy people I have ever known knew how to keep a relationship going, I do not think it takes any skill to be afraid to leave a piss poor relationship...

Just playin' devil's advocate here.

edited to add: Most people think of relationship skills as just being about romantic relationships... that is only one type of relationship to have. Most healthy people have relationship skills that engulf other sorts of relationships... like with friends and family. I do not think it is reflective of how good someone is at relationships to measure only their romantic ones.


< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/1/2011 10:48:46 AM >

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why is it.... - 7/1/2011 1:51:45 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  For the same reason there are a bunch of train-wreck subs out there.  People are fundamentally imperfect.

Riddle me this:  Why do people on these boards do so many threads whining about other fucking people?  I'm reminded of the Eleanor Roosevelt quote - which I've seen turn up in someone's sig recently - about small minds discussing people.  Give it a fucking rest, this bullshit is nothing more than toxic self-validation.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why is it.... - 7/1/2011 3:56:52 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

that the men being the most demanding about the degree of submission in their mates (whom they hope to meet) seem to be the ones least deserving of any submission at all?

I just read the profile of a 27 year old TPE Master....




because regardless of deserving.. many still seem to be able to get from someone what they want.

It's a question of who is the bigger fool..... The fool... or the person that listens to the fool?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why is it.... - 7/1/2011 4:40:05 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Think about the typical person in a pub somewhere, guys talk "Oh hell, Kate Moss, she's a bit of a skunk really, Keira Knightley hasn't got enough tits, Angelina Jolie, oh she's that freak with tats and into BDSM, ewww and now she had kids, wouldn't do her..." Then you turn around, look at the guys and you think "WTF? Have you ever looked into a mirror?" And the fact is, if any woman would even look at them, they'd have a serious case of soiled pants, if one of the women they discussed and rejected in their minds would enter said pub, another case of screaming diarrhea, but in fantasy land, they are those hot studs where the super models beg to be shagged by them. Unfortunately the internet is fantasy land for a lot of blokes...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 34
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