RE: Sharing your sub or slave.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/3/2011 4:17:02 AM

kalikshama

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Nice kitty!

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/3/2011 4:37:42 AM

DecadentDesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Errastas

I must admit, I will not share; I'm possessive and I generally only practice sub/dom in permenant relationships. However I do know people who will use sharing their sub in public as a punishment for the sub and similar. Comfort level and trust.

In all 3 of your posts I've read, you've managed to start out logical and sensible and then manage to say something that just completely blew my mind. The bold statement above is no exception.

I imagine that in the above post your talking about punishment in the context of "you do something bad and I think of some cute, sexy punishment that we both get off on". That's cool if that's the people's thing, but I wish people would make some kind of distinction between "punishment" and "kink" when posting stuff like the above.

Why? Because it suggests that the above is a "good" idea for administering punishment in the form of real discipline within a relationship.

Punishment to me is "we have a serious, no bullshit problem and I need to use immediate negative action to correct it NOW". If the act of being with another man besides me was disliked enough by my girl to be considered a "punishment", using it as a "punishment" would probably be severely detrimental to the relationship. Any trust and comfort level I had developed could be thrown out in a heartbeat and not to mention the self esteem issues and issues regarding her sense of value as my girl it could induce.

In conclusion, the thought of using it as a way to correct behavior simply defies sanity and common sense.

If you have a different perspective on this, I would love to hear it.

< Message edited by DecadentDesire -- 7/3/2011 4:39:09 AM >

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/3/2011 10:02:15 AM

UberBrat

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The thought of being used by anyone other than my owner, and being shared out, makes me shudder, and is something I could never do. Luckily, it's never something He would want either. Then again, I'd never be with someone who would do that! For me, being shared would just make me feel cheap, and horrible.

That was something I'd wondered about as well - for those who like to "whore out" their sub/slave to (practically) strangers - how do they deal with the risks.

< Message edited by UberBrat -- 7/3/2011 10:03:42 AM >

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/4/2011 4:42:56 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

Punishment to me is "we have a serious, no bullshit problem and I need to use immediate negative action to correct it NOW". If the act of being with another man besides me was disliked enough by my girl to be considered a "punishment", using it as a "punishment" would probably be severely detrimental to the relationship. Any trust and comfort level I had developed could be thrown out in a heartbeat and not to mention the self esteem issues and issues regarding her sense of value as my girl it could induce.

In conclusion, the thought of using it as a way to correct behavior simply defies sanity and common sense.

Thanks for articulating what I was thinking.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/4/2011 5:11:09 PM

Tristan

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quote:

Funny, I've always observed just the opposite. I've found - in my OWN personal experience - that it's the ones with low self-esteem, fear and very little confidence who are so territorial that they can't stand the thought of sharing. On the other hand, a man who is not afraid to experiment with what his partner wants/needs and what he himself may find enticing on some level - that guy always had a level of intelligence, confidence, esteem, etc. that was not to be found in the "mine, mine all mine and I ain't never, evah, evah sharing" types. YMMV...........luci

Or it's simply not your thing. I don't share in spite of what my kindergarten teacher said. lol.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/4/2011 5:32:15 PM

strangedesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire

After that, it's just a question of whether or not you're willing to take the risks.

Im not willing, neither is he.

And anyone who thinks that isn't ok should be kicked. To each his own limits.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/4/2011 9:22:21 PM

Buzzzz

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I like and enjoy sharing. Std trest and vouchers from fellow kinksters required.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/5/2011 9:21:39 AM

abt10025

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if i may. speaking as a sub/slave, i have been shared and it has always been on the condition of safety first.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/5/2011 11:05:12 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
Gary had a transplant several years ago. He can't take the chance of catching anything as his immune system is suppressed to save his transplanted organ. We stay monogamous to protect his health and life.

This is bullshit for several major reasons. Please educate yourself. Or, if you know it's bullshit and are just using that as the excuse, fair enough but we don't want your BS :)

I'm sure you're not a mannerless jackass, but I hope you can see how I might have fallen into this misunderstanding?

In the interest of educating me as well as peppermint, could you possibly point me in the direction of a couple of these "several major reasons"?

I only ask, because having heard from a couple of posters with real and direct experience I'm beginning to get the, doubtless erroneous, impression that you're talking shit.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/5/2011 11:12:32 AM

crazyml

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To the OP...

I have to say my initial thought was... "what sort of cunt would put his sub (and himself) at risk of STD's by casually sharing her without taking some really sensible precautions, and what sort of idiot would let their dom share them casualy without taking some really sensible precautions?"

Then I reflected a little.

And that's still pretty much what I think.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/5/2011 9:20:39 PM

SashaSteel

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So here is another question to add on to the previous question. Since statistically, one in five harbors an STD of some sort, and everyone claims that they are STD free -Who is lying?

Sincerely,
Sasha

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/5/2011 9:47:33 PM

LadyPact

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Who says they are lying? I'm sure that some people do. I'm not living in a fairy tale world. At the same time, I'm sure there are some folks who honestly don't know. More still that don't see the need because they do practice safer sex or abstinence. Some tests will come up clean, even though something is still in the gestation phase. That's why testing every six months is recommended.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/6/2011 3:37:52 AM

Sunny27

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Ok this'll probably sound a little strange but 2 years ago myself and My Master were talking about bringing another girl into our playtime. He was quite amazed that I was up for that. It works well as I told him before that I could only play with one guy ie. him.
When he heard this he was actually delighted as he didn't want me to play with other guys ie. having sex with them. I've never been with two guys in my life and I never want to but thats my desision!

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/6/2011 4:13:15 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SashaSteel

So here is another question to add on to the previous question. Since statistically, one in five harbors an STD of some sort, and everyone claims that they are STD free -Who is lying?

Sincerely,
Sasha

Well, maybe some people who aren't STD free don't even know it and were never tested? Personally I wouldn't take the word of somebody that they are STD free as the gospel but would demand to see a recent test, then still have safer sex until the test is repeated due to the incubation period where it might not show up in tests. I'd rather take the very boring and conservative approach than run the risk.

I've found some interesting facts here: http://www.livestrong.com/article/13924-std-information/

Livestrong does seem to do their research, so I'm tempted to trust them on it

quote:

One in five people in the United States has an STD.
Two-thirds of all STDs occur in people 25 years of age or younger.
One in four new STD infections occur in teenagers.
Cervical cancer in women is linked to HPV.
Hepatitis B is 100 times more infectious than HIV.
STDs, other than HIV, cost about $8 billion each year to diagnose and treat.
One in five Americans has genital herpes, yet 90 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it.
At least one in four Americans will contract an STD at some point in their lives.
HPV and chlamydia are the most common STDs in the United States.
More than 5 million people are infected with HPV each year.
Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD other than HIV/AIDS.
At least 15 percent of all infertile American women are infertile because of tubal damage caused by pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), the result of an untreated STD.
Two-thirds of Hepatitis B (HBV) infections are transmitted sexually. HBV is linked to chronic liver disease, including cirrhosis and liver cancer.

In the United States, the number of people affected by:

Chlamydia: 4 million
Trichomoniasis ("trich"): 3 million
Gonorrhea ("clap"): 1.1 million
Genital Warts (HPV): 750,000
Genital Herpes: 40 million, with as many as 500,000 new cases each year
Hepatitis B: 300,000
Syphilis: 120,000
HIV: 1 million, with as many as 45,000 new AIDS cases reported each year

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/13924-std-information/#ixzz1RJxQH7HM

The 2 bolded comments could be the answer - if you're unaware of it and you haven't ever been tested, you'd be thinking you are STD free too, wouldn't you? For example somebody might have been in a long term relationship, they believed it was monogamous, the partner was playing around and infected them, they broke up for other reasons, have no symptoms and also no check - they would believe they are STD free...

I recall years ago as a student working in a medical environment, I basically had every test imaginable before being allowed to work there, because they wanted to be sure that I couldn't claim I got infected and sue, when I might have had it before.

Seriously, would you trust the word of somebody that they are STD free? I wouldn't, I'm rather boring than diseased... Trusting somebody that they are really STD free is neglecting your own responsibility.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/6/2011 3:15:52 PM

SashaSteel

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that answer really rocked !!

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