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RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 9:23:20 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I read your profile. Here's what I got.

"Hi, I have no clue what I'm doing really. I have this buddy who maybe knows something and maybe not but he sure thinks he knows something and now so do I. Despite my vast inexperience, I want someone to commit their entire self to me. Preferably, that person should be young, hot, and bi. I'm not really offering much in return but I like lots of blowjobs from college age cuties".

Written like that it's not hard to see why you're not getting much response. By the way, I don't really think that's how you're thinking. It's just how it reads.

What, exactly, are you OFFERING in return other than your magnificent dominance?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to ArcaneDragon75)

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Post #: 21

RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 9:37:33 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

~FR~.. I think it was his BROTHER, not buddy (unless he meant bro)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to leadership527)

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Post #: 22

RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 11:25:38 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Let me give you a couple reasons for actually seeking out your local kink community. First, a friend once told me that 75% of those I meet online would not be who or what they say they are. I've actually found that to be a much higher percentage in my own online interactions. A male might expect that about 10% of the notes he sends out will receive a response from the lady. If you realize that 75% of that 10% are not exactly as stated, well, I hope you get the point. Yes, people do meet online. Yes, you do have a chance to meet someone by restricting your search to online. However, why use only one method of finding that which you seek? Why not use all the methods available to you?

Another advantage to getting involved in a munch and getting involved with real people is your lack of experience. When you go to munch and make friends, those friends will often invite you to a play party or just to their homes to explain or teach you something. I've often been a stunt dummie for a demonstration or for a newbie to learn how to do something like use and control a flogger. By the way, do not expect to be welcomed with open arms and walk out with your dream submissive at your first munch. Single males are often considered horny geeks until the male proves he really is interested by being friendly and continuing to attend munch.

The third reason is while your brother continues to write to submissives and play online, you will actually be meeting submissives. It would give you a huge advantage over your brother.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 7/4/2011 11:26:23 AM >

(in reply to ArcaneDragon75)

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Post #: 23

RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 12:19:00 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I read your profile. Here's what I got.

"Hi, I have no clue what I'm doing really. I have this buddy who maybe knows something and maybe not but he sure thinks he knows something and now so do I. Despite my vast inexperience, I want someone to commit their entire self to me. Preferably, that person should be young, hot, and bi. I'm not really offering much in return but I like lots of blowjobs from college age cuties".

Written like that it's not hard to see why you're not getting much response. By the way, I don't really think that's how you're thinking. It's just how it reads.

What, exactly, are you OFFERING in return other than your magnificent dominance?

Well said, Jeff. In my post, I commented on his evident lack of experience. What I didn't pick up on was his lack of self-description and his lack of understanding what it takes to make any relationship work, kink or other.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to leadership527)

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Post #: 24

RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 12:59:39 PM

smartsub10

Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

And as for the Bi, It is what Im looking for. Mainly for future endeavors.

You are having trouble finding sub #1 and already planning for that hot threesome with 2 women?
Seems to me porn has influenced much of what you believe about M/s.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to ArcaneDragon75)

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Post #: 25

RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 2:05:09 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

quote:

And as for the Bi, It is what Im looking for. Mainly for future endeavors.

You are having trouble finding sub #1 and already planning for that hot threesome with 2 women?
Seems to me porn has influenced much of what you believe about M/s.

Also, I have known women that were bi, which for them meant that they are willing to have monogamous relations with a single person of either sex. Not that they'd do polyfuckery.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to smartsub10)

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Post #: 26

RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 4:58:04 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I have been on here 4 or 5 month and have sent out a decent amount of messages (40 to 50)to different slaves and subs. I think I have had maybe 1 or 2 reply back. My messages are an open greeting. Im not rude or demanding. I send messages that someone outside this community would send to a friend or someone new. Is this wrong?

Please send a sample first letter and I will be happy to critique it.

Additionally, I agree with all of the above responses.

(in reply to ArcaneDragon75)

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Post #: 27

RE: Confused - 7/4/2011 5:07:19 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArcaneDragon75

I have been on here 4 or 5 month and have sent out a decent amount of messages (40 to 50)to different slaves and subs. I think I have had maybe 1 or 2 reply back. My messages are an open greeting. Im not rude or demanding. I send messages that someone outside this community would send to a friend or someone new. Is this wrong? Im I not approaching these woman correctly. Most of my messages arent even being opened. My brother, who is also on here, is a stright up ass to these woman but he gets replys all the time. I read all these profiles that talk about wanting a nice caring Dom but when I send them a message I get nothing, WTF. Is it just me? Am I doing something wrong?

I hope this venue is NOT the only method you are using to find your sub/slave? More often than not, a person ends up finding what they seek at other venues other than this site, whether it's at a munch, a dungeon or a kink event, or even through a mutual kink friend. My own experience in being serioujsly contacted by a Dom was making myself visible in my local community and forming a good solid friendship way before any consideration was put to wanting to form any sort of D/s dynamic.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to ArcaneDragon75)

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Post #: 28

RE: Confused - 7/8/2011 1:45:14 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

OK, so you re-wrote your written profile and made some of the changes suggested. Good on you for that. But there's still red-flags that will pop up. Stating you're not a noob like others who are because you're intelligent and have a mentor isn't saying much. Intelligence has nothing to do with being a Dom/Master. It helps, but it's not the be-all, end-all. And how do we know the "mentor" you have isn't another HNG but is actually a Dom? Someone who's in control of himself, knows what he wants, can act like a man who has honor, integrity and will be truthful and trustworthy is what sub/slaves are looking for in someone to lead them.

Don't put that on your profile if you don't have those qualities, if you need to work on them, then state it so that anyone who looks at your profile will know you're a work in progress. This isn't all about sex, unless that's all you want. But it doesn't sound like it. You want someone who'll be able to trust you with their safety, their life and their well-being. Build up a friendship built on other things than BDSM related. Really, what are you going to do the other 23 or so hours of the day?

BTW, welcome to CM and good luck in your search.

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"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

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Post #: 29