RE: serious question

RE: serious question (Full Version)

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Focus50 -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 3:45:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA Surely you could grasp that I fully understood what the OP "meant" with their question. The question is not the issue, it's the OP's thinking that's flawed -- hence the use of the word "confusion" in my reply. You and yours may operate under some contrived "mode" of sorts, I do not. And yes, they're most likely new/newish to this dynamic. Crikey, can you get anymore anal??? lol Errrm, this rhetorical question takes into account your subsequent posts, too. So "mode" is a difficult concept for you.... How about "role" (a word I find to be contrived, actually)? I'm always the Dominant in my relationships, but I'm not always in that Dominant mo.... errr.... role. Does that make sense to you yet, or can't you perceive there can be that difference within a happy, mutually rewarding M/s relationship? 'Cause anyone who thinks they've gotta be the "big, bad" Dominant 24/7 is just plain overcompensating for their glaring insecurities, IMO...! Give your ticker a break and lighten tha hell up. <sheesh> Focus.

IrishMist -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 3:56:50 AM)
I agree with what Julia said. The only person you should be asking this question of is your partner. Asking for advice from strangers on how to conduct YOUR relationship is never a good thing because OUR relationships differ from YOURS.

Arpig -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 8:40:39 AM)
quote: If you are a sub when can you tell when your Master has switched from serious to laid back Flip a coin.

SimplyMichael -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:09:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: DecadentDesire I don't ever really remember standing in front of the mirror with a tape recorder, practicing my dominance. That's seem to be what your implying and if that is the case, then you have misunderstood me. Nope, I don't think you've been misunderstood. I think you're just going to have to join me in the ranks of the not truly dominant. Honestly some of the happiest couples I know bear that title so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Besides, I like my own little delusion that I'm in control so I'd rather not upset the apple cart. OK, that was tongue in cheek since I doubt that's what MSLA meant. Just chalk this up to incompatible definitions of "dominance". It happens all the time. Jeff, you won't remember DecadentDesire (or at least I don't think so) but he is truly one of us despite his youth.

phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:13:14 AM)
agree with focus here master is always dominant wheather we are cuddling watching tv on the sofa or out on a family visit to the zoo or when he tells me to go stand in a corner or get ready kneeling by the bed for a belting or somthing else

agirl -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:33:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything. Now, from a sexual/use/service standpoint? He can simply say something like "Good Girl", or kiss you, or whatever to let you know he's finished using you, and that you're now free to do as you please. (shrugs) *In that case he can ALSO let her know when he's ready* to use and when she's free to do as she pleases. It's not that tricky then in either case, huh?.**

DesFIP -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:34:18 AM)
OP, accept the fact that sometimes you will misread him. At which point all he needs to do is repeat himself or say "Go do it now". It takes all of a few seconds to do so, which really isn't much at all.

DecadentDesire -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:37:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything. Now, from a sexual/use/service standpoint? He can simply say something like "Good Girl", or kiss you, or whatever to let you know he's finished using you, and that you're now free to do as you please. (shrugs) *In that case he can ALSO let her know when he's ready* to use and when she's free to do as she pleases. It's not that tricky then in either case, huh?.** Stop cluttering up the forums with this contrived dominance. Lol

agirl -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:48:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA You and yours may need to "issue commands"... change your "vocal tones and speech patterns"... in order to "broadcast" your alleged "dominance" -- I find that both contrived and lacking in dominance. Examples: Owner Stern Voice/Command: "Get me a glass of water" sub/slave replied comment: "Yes Sir/Master" Owner Normal Voice/Request: "Would you get me a glass of water?" sub/slave replied comment: "Yes Sir/Master" Both produce the SAME response from the sub/slave -- but in the first scenario, the Owner demonstrates an insecure, contrived means of Dominance, where the second does not. Dominance need not be "broadcast"... it need simply be present. I view your means of alleged dominance contrived. YMMV Dearie me, I am dealt a lot of contrived dominance in that case. Let's just say that M suggesting he'd like a coffee while I'm half way through practising a banjo piece does NOT mean the same as Righto, coffee, upstairs......Are you still here?. One means * when you're done* and the other means * Get your scrawny arse going NOW*. The first isn't contrived, it's interested, polite and reasonable. Yes, both means that he'd like something done, but both do NOT mean he wants it done NOW. ONE does. agirl

agirl -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:55:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DecadentDesire quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything. Now, from a sexual/use/service standpoint? He can simply say something like "Good Girl", or kiss you, or whatever to let you know he's finished using you, and that you're now free to do as you please. (shrugs) *In that case he can ALSO let her know when he's ready* to use and when she's free to do as she pleases. It's not that tricky then in either case, huh?.** Stop cluttering up the forums with this contrived dominance. Lol I've tried but it keeps forcing it's way up like a new spud. When will you rubbish doms stop being so reasonable. You know it doesn't work......LOL.

SimplyMichael -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:57:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA You and yours may need to "issue commands"... change your "vocal tones and speech patterns"... in order to "broadcast" your alleged "dominance" -- I find that both contrived and lacking in dominance. Examples: Owner Stern Voice/Command: "Get me a glass of water" sub/slave replied comment: "Yes Sir/Master" Owner Normal Voice/Request: "Would you get me a glass of water?" sub/slave replied comment: "Yes Sir/Master" Both produce the SAME response from the sub/slave -- but in the first scenario, the Owner demonstrates an insecure, contrived means of Dominance, where the second does not. Dominance need not be "broadcast"... it need simply be present. I view your means of alleged dominance contrived. YMMV Oh bullshit. That is only true if someone is so shallow that raising their voice or barking orders is the only way to get obeyed but some of us can "contrive" the tones and resononce in our voices that not only get us a glass of water but it is brought by a woman who's cunt just got wet and who's headspace went from "career" to "slave". I open the door for my woman always, I believe in being a gentleman but sometimes barking an order is hot for both, sometimes simply rubbing the rim of an empty glass does the trick and of course, "my dear woman, bring my paddle on the way to refilling the glass you let become empty" results in a fun afternoon. The reality is that any decent "dominance" is a box full of stuff that that particular dom tends to do with all his partners as well as things that they have discovered work for them. Take "good girl", works for many but not all, same goes for "slut" and "woman". But then again, being a "CrappyDom" what the hell do I know anyway?

stclaircouple -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:57:48 AM)
When I am serious I have my slave put on a small leather anklet with bells on it. The jingle reminds her that I am in control and I am serious.

agirl -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 9:59:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: DecadentDesire I don't ever really remember standing in front of the mirror with a tape recorder, practicing my dominance. That's seem to be what your implying and if that is the case, then you have misunderstood me. Nope, I don't think you've been misunderstood. I think you're just going to have to join me in the ranks of the not truly dominant. Honestly some of the happiest couples I know bear that title so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Besides, I like my own little delusion that I'm in control so I'd rather not upset the apple cart. OK, that was tongue in cheek since I doubt that's what MSLA meant. Just chalk this up to incompatible definitions of "dominance". It happens all the time. Jeff, you won't remember DecadentDesire (or at least I don't think so) but he is truly one of us despite his youth. *What is one of us?.....lol Crumbs , another club I've missed.*

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 10:23:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA Surely you could grasp that I fully understood what the OP "meant" with their question. The question is not the issue, it's the OP's thinking that's flawed -- hence the use of the word "confusion" in my reply. You and yours may operate under some contrived "mode" of sorts, I do not. And yes, they're most likely new/newish to this dynamic. Crikey, can you get anymore anal??? Sure... I could act like you. quote: So "mode" is a difficult concept for you.... No... is not needing to flip some mythical toppy switch too difficult a concept for you? You may as well buy a hat, scribble "Dommy Ding-Dong" on it and wear it every time you need to bark orders at the s-type minions so they're assured of your Uber-Toppiness. In fact, wear it when you're talking to your cat as well, just to ensure he knows you mean bin'ness too. Now, as to your below blathering... quote: ...anyone who thinks they've gotta be the "big, bad" Dominant 24/7 is just plain overcompensating for their glaring insecurities, IMO... Uhhh... maybe you missed that this is the EXACT PREMISE I've put forth in this very thread, Captain Obvious?!! Here, let me help ya out... I stated, "...what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a 'serious' stance with you for anything." Did ya miss that, or weren't you in "reading mode" at the time?!! You feel the need to fabricate some "mode" or "role" or whatever? Knock yourself out. I find THAT "just plain overcompensating" for ones "glaring insecurities". Is that too difficult a concept for you to grasp?!!

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 10:31:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything. Now, from a sexual/use/service standpoint? He can simply say something like "Good Girl", or kiss you, or whatever to let you know he's finished using you, and that you're now free to do as you please. (shrugs) *In that case he can ALSO let her know when he's ready* to use and when she's free to do as she pleases.** Sure... but I do think there's a difference between mere words (as one could say the same of using someone's name, for example), but I feel mere words are a far cry from putting on one's "serious" face and/or "serious" tone as a crutch for alleged dominance. 'Round these parts (i.e., our home), it doesn't matter... whatever is said/stated is followed. Period.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 10:34:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: DecadentDesire I don't ever really remember standing in front of the mirror with a tape recorder, practicing my dominance. That's seem to be what your implying and if that is the case, then you have misunderstood me. Nope, I don't think you've been misunderstood. I think you're just going to have to join me in the ranks of the not truly dominant. Honestly some of the happiest couples I know bear that title so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Besides, I like my own little delusion that I'm in control so I'd rather not upset the apple cart. OK, that was tongue in cheek since I doubt that's what MSLA meant. Just chalk this up to incompatible definitions of "dominance". It happens all the time. Damn Jeff if you're in the ranks of the Not Truly Dominant, where can I get me one?

LadyPact -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 10:34:18 AM)
There's an old expression that used to be called, "tugging the leash". It means with a look or a tone of voice that someone knows there is a yank on the collar.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 10:34:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael ...being a "CrappyDom" what the hell do I know anyway? I don't know... if you're a "Crappy Dom", then that's between you and yours to sort out.

LadyPact -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 10:35:58 AM)
Just a mention. You folks do know who "CrappyDom" really is, don't you?

SimplyMichael -> RE: serious question (7/10/2011 10:36:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael ...being a "CrappyDom" what the hell do I know anyway? I don't know... if you're a "Crappy Dom", then that's between you and yours to sort out. I wish the mods would make my ice cream cone name CrappyDom because the right people would get it and the rest wouldn't have a clue.

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