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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 7:48:25 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		um.. it might have been the PEOPLE, not the MUNCH community?

(gawd, I am sleepy, I hope what I meant was clear)

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 7:51:37 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		Isn't that what I said??? I said that the people I met at the munches.....etc.

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 8:14:09 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Exactly, if the drama llamas have taken over the events, there's no point in attending, but you don't know that until you actually leave the house and try!

I know you're all amazed that I agree with LP on many points here. I am not here to feed the wankers. If someone else wants to, fabulous! There have been some very hot threads about fantasies and what-ifs--and they were NOT disguised as "questions".



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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 8:27:05 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis
Personally, the people I met at the local munches in OR when I first ventured into this lifestyle were creepy, cliquey, drama llamas!! I don't know why some posters here think that going to munches is a great way to meet people. These people were flippin nuts!! They were so involved in their drama that was all they were about. In other words, they acted like a lot of the idiots on CM. I met one person at all the munches that I went to who is still in my life, because I want her in my life still.

This always interests Me because My experiences are different.  It's not a place to place thing.  I think it's more an interpretation thing.  Heck, even here on the boards, there are folks who have been in the same areas that I've been in (Atlanta is a good example) that they say the same things about that you do above and the thing is, I never see it.  I know that *everybody* says they don't do drama and I don't even want to put a guess on how many people don't mean it, but I really *don't* do drama.  I guess you could call Me selfish in that way, but if I'm at a lifestyle anything, I really am there for My own personal interests and any of the stuff that you describe just doesn't hit My radar. 

The clique thing?  I really don't know what to say about that either.  I seriously don't know why other people struggle and I don't.  The same with the "creepy" thing that I just started a thread on a couple of weeks ago.  (I should have called it that, rather than "predators" because it really was to address both.)  If I had a magic formula, I really would share. 

quote:

The people at the munches aren't necessarily a better group of people just because they took showers & dressed to go there. Quite frankly, it was the people who I met here on the boards that kept me interested in BDSM, not the ones I met IRL at munches & events.

They aren't worse, either.  Then again, I do know that folks in real time have some level of initiative.

quote:

My experience here in Chicagoland is pretty much the opposite, but that still doesn't really prove anything. I don't like generalizations, because they are said as though they're gospel truth. And when someone points out that's not been their experience, they have been told that that's only an exception.

This is where we are at personal perception again.  A good example is that some folks *have* had items stolen at play parties.  The statement is true for the person that it happened to, but it's never happened to Me.  If anything, I've had the opposite experience where folks have gone way out of their way to make sure My toys got back to My toybag when I overlooked one that I had missed.


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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 8:27:58 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I've often suggested to new people or even some who've had profiles here for several years, to get out to some of the munches & events, because when it does work it can really be fun & one can meet some pretty cool people. But my problem is when the people at the munches & events are held in higher regard than those who don't attend them. Simply not true all of the time or maybe not even most of the time. I'm very happy with the friendships I've made here through the munches & events. But I also think that a big part of the difference here is that there are so many events & one can pick & choose to avoid the crap. Most communities aren't this big & so there really isn't as much choice.

< Message edited by LinnaeaBorealis -- 7/10/2011 8:28:45 PM >

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 9:11:51 PM   
Anaxagoras


Posts: 3086
Joined: 5/9/2009
From: Eire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
A thread or two I read here lately have me thinking. So many times, someone posts something, and the reactions that come are "You are searching for wank material", "Why would you post such stuff for us to see?", "We are not in your dynamic", "Use the search feature", etc so on and so forth.

So, is it the subject that gets folks riled, or is it the fact they do not know, or do not like, the person doing the posting?

I noticed this phenomenon also. Sometimes the posters seem like bullshitters and occasionally it looks like forum spam so I can understand why some get annoyed but newbie's should be given the benefit of the doubt unless its very obvious whats going on.

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 9:35:18 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

The types of OP's that bring out my best snarkiness are the ones that go something like, "Oh woe is me, I've done this stupid thing yet again and am looking for advice and wisdom as well as boatloads of coddling and sympathy knowing full well that after I get it all, it's going to blow right over my head and I'm going to go right back and do the same stupid thing over and over again."

I would do the same for someone who made the same statements in real life.


^This^

When middle aged people (typically women) post questions that if they were applying it to a vanilla meeting they would have no question, I wonder about their competency. Still I will, at first, try to politely point out that if they are looking for a relationship, then conduct themselves as they would in the beginning of a relationship.

I'm not big on the whole "search the archives" thing and don't care if people prefer to start their own thread. However, when there are already two or three threads on that same subject that are active, it shows, in my opinion, that they don't want to even read the current shit.

As for spelling and grammar....When someone posts with horrible spelling and grammar, the first thing I will do is look where they are from, since this is an internationally used site. But when I see that they are and have always been in this country and they can't form complete sentences? Sorry, but if you can't manage to do that much, then you certainly don't have the ability to read and learn from other posters.

Those that joined less than a week ago and come to whine "Why haven't I found someone yet?" Instant gratification thinking this is a kink supermarket where people are going to see their profile and jump on wanting to meet that person.

All in all, I don't have much tolerance for stupidity, people who feel a need to constantly say how smart they are, who think they are THE source of sense in absolutely every situation or people who read half the post and think their answer is perfect.

I've never once claimed to be a nice person or that I gave a shit whether or not I was accepted into the "cliques" around here. And yes, there are cliques. The people who I have respect for on these boards are the people who post with no nonsense, this is how it worked for me type of answers.

Sorry, but when someone posts how their "master" told them to post asking for questions and advice or even finding someone to train her for him, they deserve what they get. Laziness is unappealling.

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 9:55:58 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		FR

I want to be in a clique!

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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 10:10:48 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Me too!! The problem with the cliques here is that they are invisible to those who are supposedly in them.

I used to have "clique welcoming committee" as part of my sig.

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 11:08:42 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		Then let's start our own clique! Who else wants in?

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/10/2011 11:51:39 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I want to be in a clique!
*psst* To most of those who complain about 'the clique' around here, you already are. See how that works?




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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 12:06:50 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Then let's start our own clique! Who else wants in?



memeME!!!

I'll even bring pizza

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 12:33:03 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster
I understand where you are coming from and the internet can be a curse as well as a godsend.My partner is a teacher and fights a constant battle against people who just copy and paste answers from the net instead of reading,researching and learning. But buying books and attending munches costs money that lots of people don't have so why shouldn't they take the "easy" way out and ask questions here? Sure if their attutude is wrong they should be told( I know about that!) but a daft question is only that to those in the know,not to a newbie. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to.
Also as a newbie this sort of thing can be very scary so the ability to ask questions and learn anonymously is brilliant for some.
Lastly the same question can have wildly different answers depending on who answers and debates it,and on when it is asked,everybodies ideas and knowledge changes as time passes,or at least it should do therefore it has the right to be asked again


Actually many places at least in my area, allow you to borrow various books about the lifestyle you wish to learn about  to read and return, the Carter Johnson library is country wide in the US and does a lending program of books they have copies of. ( If it wasnt for friends Id never have gotten my pretty little paws on a few things)

And Every munch ive attended has been free to attend just the cost of food, if you dont have cash for the food you dont have to buy anything. Theres only one munch in the area that has a cost to attend and thats because they have to pay for the hall its held at, if you dont have the money one of the members will most likely pay your admission because they prefer you to be there and learn in real life.

And Even being on the net first and having online as my only option for several years, I get tired of it. I much prefer to interact with people real-life, and the drama associated with online is wary. In real life if I get asked a question i dont have to clairfy that this works for me, i dont have to deal with as many people who are just going to put me down because they dont agree my opinion is actually welcomed. The things ive learned in just a year in the scene are amazing....

Not only is it amazing but i wish other people would have the same experiences, but the biggest pet peeve i have online or off is those who want instant gratification or dont take personal responsibility.... those who go to one munch and dont get laid and never return, or the first words out of their mouth after hello is " So do you get an invite to the private party being held and can you vouch for me"


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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 12:45:55 AM   
erieangel


Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

Thanks for starting this thread, JstAnotherSub.  After reading all the previous posts...here is my spewage.

Personally, if there are a lot of people at the munch who behave like a lot of people at CM...I will have no interest in going. 

Apples and oranges.  This doesn't happen at munches because everybody there had to arrange to be there, shower, dress.......  In other words, they made an effort. 




Personally, the people I met at the local munches in OR when I first ventured into this lifestyle were creepy, cliquey, drama llamas!! I don't know why some posters here think that going to munches is a great way to meet people. These people were flippin nuts!! They were so involved in their drama that was all they were about. In other words, they acted like a lot of the idiots on CM. I met one person at all the munches that I went to who is still in my life, because I want her in my life still.

The people at the munches aren't necessarily a better group of people just because they took showers & dressed to go there. Quite frankly, it was the people who I met here on the boards that kept me interested in BDSM, not the ones I met IRL at munches & events.

My experience here in Chicagoland is pretty much the opposite, but that still doesn't really prove anything. I don't like generalizations, because they are said as though they're gospel truth. And when someone points out that's not been their experience, they have been told that that's only an exception.



I shower and dress every single day--sometimes twice a day because when I look good, I feel good. As for munches, I haven't been to one yet in my area, but a week ago I was on FetLife and the woman who i guess usually organizes the munches here was in a rant. Evidently nobody showed to the latest one. She was very very ticked, going on and on about feeling dumb when only she and two others showed up at the munch. I guess she has a dungeon too, and was ranting about being out hundreds of dollars in organizing play parties to which not enough show up. Anyway, not somebody I think I'd want to associate with. Why organize things if you are going rant and rave about the cost afterward? Anyway, I was Fet earlier this weekend and I guess she's calmed down because she has scheduled three events--two munches and a play party. Her rules are that you have to attend three munches before you can attend a play party, but all of munches are scheduled during my work hours. So I guess I won't be getting involved in the local scene here.

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 12:52:04 AM   
erieangel


Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Then let's start our own clique! Who else wants in?




Me!!

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 1:16:42 AM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

*psst* To most of those who complain about 'the clique' around here, you already are. See how that works?
hey! she's in the clique but i'm not?! fuck that!!

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RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 1:30:58 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

hey! she's in the clique but i'm not?! fuck that!!
I didn't say that, now did I?


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 1:56:37 AM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		lol kalishama

thanks for your opinion

that was mine

umm 99.9% of 100 maybe a lot

but multiply it out to the number of people on this site is not

statistics are wonderful aint they

and anyone asked why i think there all fakes nah lol

my reason they act like 13 yr old kids

u dont like it or anyone else simple dont act like 13 yr old kids



< Message edited by DavidLee44UK -- 7/11/2011 2:01:11 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 2:13:26 AM   
DavidLee44UK


Posts: 436
Joined: 5/13/2011
Status: offline 		one the reasons why newbies might not start threads is once again one mine intentionally derailed

1.. can newbies be 100% certain theres wont be NO

2.. to me this reflects badly on this place as it shows me its not monitored properly

just me but it affects whole forum

oh but i haven't used correct grammar

hijacking threads good bad grammar bad


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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: That's so dumb... - 7/11/2011 2:21:33 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

Isn't that what I said??? I said that the people I met at the munches.....etc.


sorry... sleepy eyes misread, and sleepy brain misunderstood..*smooch*

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)
Profile   Post #: 80
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