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What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 3:02:25 PM   
elex


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/19/2008
Status: offline 		Hi all
I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on a few things.
Firstly ive been interested in this lifestyle for a year now but never really had a proper relationship in it.
Now i feel the time as come to get serious with this and thought what better way to gain some more knowledge than to ask a Sub/slave themselfs..So below are a few questions that would be greatly appreciated if some of you could answer some or all.

What makes a good master? (Whats the difference between a good one and a bad one.)
What do you think makes a good Sub/slave? ideally...how do you think a D/S relationship should work? What do you expect from a Master and what do you think he should expect from you?
Hopefully you will find some time to share some advice! - Also if you know of any good websites..a mail wouldnt go a miss :)

Thanks!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 3:48:14 PM   
SlaveKelly4life


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline 		Elex,

Now, these are just my opinions and others may well have a different viewpoint.  But to my way of thinking, a good Master is one who has experience and knowledge when it comes to knowing how to train and/or interact with His slave.  But perhaps even more important, is one who sees the submission of His slave as a gift and treasures that, and has enough consideration and respect to be able to get to know His sub/slave very well and effectively communicate with her.  Anyone can hide behind the label of a Master and bark orders at another person, but it takes a good Master to be able to genuinely gain the trust and respect of His slave and to interact with her in such a manner as she will happily and willingly be with Him and serve Him.

On the other hand, a good sub/slave is one who will also be able to communicate with her Master.  One who genuinely wishes to serve, please and enhance His life.  One who will do as she is expected to do, within the parameters of a specific relationship dynamic, which hopefully will have all been mapped out and discussed beforehand.

Everyone's D/s relationship works differently.  What works for couple A, may not work for couple B. That's why communication and trust are so important!  Discuss with any potential Master, what works or may work specifically for the both of you. 

What the Master and Slave should be able to expect from each other, is pretty much what you should be able to expect from a vanilla relationship. Honesty, compatibility, knowing that a successful D/s relationship, as with any other is one built on trust and again, communication.  I hope this helps!

(in reply to elex)
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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 4:32:20 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I think the question is not necessarily what makes a good Master but more importantly, what makes a good Master for you and that would be compatibility.

But in general, a good Master knows what they expect of you and can communicate their expectations clearly.

I have a Master who is not of the one size fits all variety: he has made adjustments in his style to adapt to my personality...and to do that he took the time to get to know me.

And the most important thing in anyrelationship is good communication between the people involved.

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 4:44:04 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I think the question is not necessarily what makes a good Master but more importantly, what makes a good Master for you and that would be compatibility.


It's this, right here. It's all about works for us as individuals.

We relate to each other first as a couple, secondly as D/s. I actually like him as a person and didn't go into this with a list of expectations.

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 5:02:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Keep your word. Don't make promises if you can't deliver. If you do break one, then someone better be in the hospital. Otherwise you're just a garden variety liar.

Make good decisions. You want someone to trust you to make decisions that impact her life? Then you better be a top notch decision maker. Demanding she gives you her paycheck and then wasting it on a new tv instead of paying the bills is a good way to get your ass kicked out stat. Do better by her than she does by herself.




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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 5:07:53 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

What makes a good master? (Whats the difference between a good one and a bad one.)
A good Master is named Bob, a bad one is named Steven, anything else makes them mediocre.

Real answer: It depends on what you're looking for. What constitutes a good master to one would make a crappy one to another.

quote:

What do you think makes a good Sub/slave?
Not dead.

Real answer: same as above.

quote:

ideally...how do you think a D/S relationship should work?
The s-type ceases to think, feel, want, or anything at all except exist solely for the D-type's entertainment and pleasure.

Real answer: same as above.

quote:

What do you expect from a Master and what do you think he should expect from you? 
I expect a Master to do nothing he absolutely can't avoid, and he should expect you to do anything and everything he manages to avoid.

Real answer: same as above.

I know this seems a flippant reply, but really, each of these questions is something to be explored in depth in it's own thread.


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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 5:55:29 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What makes a good master? (Whats the difference between a good one and a bad one.)

Brown eyes.



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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 6:13:51 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: elex

What makes a good Master?



Someone who can hammer a six-inch spike into a block of wood with their penis.



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 6:57:00 PM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline 		I agree with everyone else. What makes a good master or dom, sub or slave, will vary depending upon the type of relationship being sought, so I am a tad confused as to what sorts of answers you are looking for. Are you looking for us to give you a brief look into the kinds of relationships we seek, and how each of us would answer these questions for ourselves, so that you can get a broad look at different dynamics?

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 7:35:17 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: elex

What makes a good Master?



Someone who can hammer a six-inch spike into a block of wood with their penis.



BUT...does that make him a 'good' one or a 'bad' one?



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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 7:41:05 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Someone who can hammer a six-inch spike into a block of wood with their penis.



Bah!  I can do that with a strap on any day of the week.  You've got to make it tougher than that. 


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 7:45:12 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		since I cant find my hammer (I think a former roomie grabbed it).. perhaps I should consider using one of the dildos?  I want to hang pictures, dammit...

*giggles*

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 7:49:32 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: elex

What makes a good Master?



Someone who can hammer a six-inch spike into a block of wood with their penis.



BUT...does that make him a 'good' one or a 'bad' one?




So good they're bad, maybe?!!



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 7:50:52 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Someone who can hammer a six-inch spike into a block of wood with their penis.



Bah!  I can do that with a strap on any day of the week.  You've got to make it tougher than that. 



Show off...



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 9:10:36 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Show off...

Admit it.  You laughed. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 9:30:24 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		"What makes a good Master?" Same thing that makes a good slave:

1) First and foremost is honesty to be able to build trust.

2) From trust, one can build open and (redundantly) honest communication .

3) From open and honest communication with (redundantly) trust, one can build all kinds of play and all kinds of Dom/sub dynamics.

4) If the play or dynamics are not "working" for one or both, fix it using honest, open trust and communication. (See sentence 3)

--------------

Gee, Lance...... you really packed a lot into those 4 sentences.

--------------

Yep, I agree.  But that's what I have learned in more than 25 years "in the scene."  Take it, or leave it (or ask for a refund.) 

_____________________________

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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 9:46:45 PM   
DecadentDesire


Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Someone who can hammer a six-inch spike into a block of wood with their penis.



Bah!  I can do that with a strap on any day of the week.  You've got to make it tougher than that. 



That reminds me of a man I knew once who could drive thumbtacks into cement using only the foreskin of his penis.

You ladies ever heard of Bill Brasky?


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RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 9:47:03 PM   
winspiritsbaby


Posts: 141
Status: offline
quote:

What makes a good master? (Whats the difference between a good one and a bad one.)
What do you think makes a good Sub/slave? ideally...how do you think a D/S relationship should work? What do you expect from a Master and what do you think he should expect from you?


Same answer for the first two questions: Honesty and communiction

I don't have any expectations of how D/s relationship should work or anything like that. It is whatever Win and I choose to make it, and we will form the relationship to fit our needs by using honesty and communication.


(in reply to elex)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 9:56:31 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Show off...

Admit it.  You laughed. 



Laughed? No.  Squealed? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!!!



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What makes a good Master? - 7/10/2011 11:14:12 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		I really liked Arpig'r responses here, both the honest ones and the cheeky ones!!

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 20
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