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collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:10:24 AM   
bashfulgirl


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		Sir, i have two jobs that require me to work in public. Do i need to wear my collar?
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:13:07 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I had two collars, one for public wear and one for play. I manage a pub and did not feel comfortable wearing a collar that was too 'obvious'.

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:14:42 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not sure who you are asking this question to but.....shouldn't you be asking YOUR Sir? He is the only one that can answer that.

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:15:05 AM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		i am not a master, but i am going to reply

i wear mine in public,

but most importantly this is really a question to ask your master b/c he is the one who is going to decide this



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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to missturbation)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:15:29 AM   
bashfulgirl


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		my one job is im a scjool bus driver and with the collar i dont want to scare the kids on my bus

(in reply to missturbation)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:16:59 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bashfulgirl

my one job is im a scjool bus driver and with the collar i dont want to scare the kids on my bus


Again....noone here can answer this for you other than your Sir. You need to communicate your concerns to Him.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:20:04 AM   
Ceyx


Posts: 89
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		This would really be between you and your 'Sir,' but if you're looking for more general advice...

My miss has a collar that she can wear publicly-- it's a beaded choker, but the symbolism is clear to both of us and it doesn't get her into any trouble with the mundanes. I don't insist that she wear it whenever she goes out, but sometimes the fancy strikes me. If this is a problem for you, the two of you may wish to invest in an additional 'public collar' of this sort: something both low-profile and reflective of your relationship.

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:21:23 AM   
talibahh


Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline 		depending on the couple, if a collar in itself is not able to be worn for whatever reason, then a specific piece of jewelery can be substitued, such as a thick chain style necklace, which Your "Sir" has chosen/bought.
 
i know this will be so in my case... if my Master sees it is not appropriate for me to wear His collar somewhere for whatever reason, He will substitute it for His necklace, which will symbolize the same thing to U/us but subtly. But the choice will be His.
 
tali

edited for typos

< Message edited by talibahh -- 5/17/2006 7:23:49 AM >

_____________________________

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in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to mixielicous)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 7:30:35 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		A good Dominant will take real life into consideration. Things such as if it will damage your job, is one of those things. If you go to your job wearing a "slave collar" and someonefigures it out, you'll most likely lose your job. Most parents are not very forgiving of alternative lifestyle when it comes to them being exposed to their children.

If you are going to do this, I would suggest something unobtrusive. A lot of people where necklaces and similar things. Or you can do something like an Eternity collar which just looks like a piece of Gen X jewelry.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Ceyx)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 8:44:18 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Whatever you guys want to do will be the right thing to do.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 9:21:34 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		I agree with most of the comments here it has to be between  the Master and their slave. If the Master wants to keep in consideration the slaves outside (vanilla)lifestyle then that is their choice.
Due to current fashion however it is VERY possable for a slave to wear a collar 24/7 and not cause a neighborhood stur. My slave has had a collar on since Sept.of last year and except for some metal allergy issues (that we finely solved) it has not come off since and will not be removed for the rest of her life on earth and beyond.
(Unless there is a medical reason that it absolutely has to be removed)
She is wearing a light titanium collar from Axmar and when someone does ask what it is she states with a smile its her "collar",  If asked further she explains that its like a wedding band on steroids.
The only way we as a society "sub group" can be accepted is to put a positive "spin" on who and what we are to combat the negative press and fears that we are all abusers and perverts (ok perhaps we are perverts).

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Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
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RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 9:27:11 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not quite sure why you would ask here either, but yeah, whatever the two of you decide is the right thing.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 12:01:12 PM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		There are a lot of subtle pieces of jewlery that you can wear in public if your Dom requires you to wear a collar at all times. Talk to him about it.

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 2:12:53 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Actually with collars becoming more and more a fashion statement, at least among people my age, I have worn my choke chain (no D/s connections) in public and no one blinks an eye. Of course, I usually go for the full on goth look, but the point is, it is becoming more acceptable in society. My friend up north wears her collar to work all the time, and no one has given her a headache about it. In fact she has gotten a few compliments, and she works in a grocery store.

But agreed, as to the OP, you should ask your Master, and let him decide.

< Message edited by Slipstreme -- 5/17/2006 2:13:36 PM >

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to sweetbbwsub31)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 5:34:53 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Slipstreme

Actually with collars becoming more and more a fashion statement, at least among people my age, I have worn my choke chain (no D/s connections) in public and no one blinks an eye. ... My friend up north wears her collar to work all the time, and no one has given her a headache about it. In fact she has gotten a few compliments, and she works in a grocery store.

But agreed, as to the OP, you should ask your Master, and let him decide.


Agreed, especially in our age group. I get comments on mine occationally, but they're almost all positive.

Ask your owner, not us.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Slipstreme)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 6:19:23 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		I've noticed too, that whether you wear a collar in public, how people react to it is usually defined by how you act in it.

Ie: If you are afriad someone will notice the collar and figure that there is some perverse reason to wear it, then people likely will ask you about it. If you wear it proudly, or even, not pay any attention to it all, people are less likely to question the meaning behind it. They just assume it is your style.

I've found this actually to be a powerful tool doing anything in public you don't think the public will accept. I am a member of the furry community, and furries are often portrayed as sick perverted freaks, and I draw my anthropomorphic art in public whenever I want to. When I acted secretive about it is when people noticed and took offense. It was when I acted as if everything was ok and not gave any outward sign of doing something "deviant" that people didn't care, and even when people would come up and say something to the effect of "cool art!" It is a strong perception to be aware of and know that how you act will influence how people react to you and can be a powerful tool to enjoy some of your alternative lifestyle in the presense of others.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 6:24:37 PM   
CmotDribbler


Posts: 83
Joined: 1/17/2006
From: canada
Status: offline 		My Kitten wears hers in public, but then again we made sure to get a low key one that wouldn't really stand out too much.
If you are worried abit more about public try something a little subtler A bracelet, or anklet, something that is special to the two of you.


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"Better that I devote myself to studying the Other great mystery of the universe; women!"
Doc. Emit Brown

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: collars in public - 5/17/2006 8:19:14 PM   
HoosierScorpio


Posts: 164
Status: offline 		This Thread has come up before and allot people have different viewpoints about public collar. I made a leather collar that looks more like a leather choker than a collar but the young lady loves it and has wore it in public. I know a couple who make her own collar and wears it all the time and she works at a university she has no problem telling  people what it is when they are asked. I know a Master who had Jewelry made that looks great and looks more like a joker and it is lockable. I came across a young lady wearing something that look like a collar and I asked her if she was in the lifestyle and she was puzzled. Collars are starting to become a common place for people to wear in public as is Piercing and tattoos. A collar can be any thing you want it to be. I used a Dog tag on my first girl as a collar because her parents had no ideal she was in the lifestyle. Matter her mom thought is was cute for her to wear my dog tags. Good luck this is a personal choice and you guys must decide if you want to be open and honest or keep it private.

< Message edited by HoosierScorpio -- 5/17/2006 8:21:41 PM >

(in reply to bashfulgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: collars in public - 5/18/2006 12:29:41 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I would say that when kids are involved, don't wear the collar.

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(in reply to bashfulgirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: collars in public - 5/18/2006 4:16:07 AM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline 		My girl wears a thin "vanilla" gold necklace with a "D" on it (my first initial) which I gave to her about a year and a half ago.  I didn't intend it to be a collar, just a symbol of my love and ownership, something pretty to show how much I cared.  For her, it took on a meaning, and she hasn't removed it since it went on.  I like that.

In some ways, I would like to get her something more substantial, tighter, perhaps silver or stainless steel, a thin chain type thing maybe.  Perhaps down the road.  And no, I wouldn't be upset it she wore it in public, as long as it didn't look out of place for her clothing or for the company involved.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 20
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