A girl should only give a guy a year...

A girl should only give a guy a year... (Full Version)

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tj444 -> A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 4:52:58 PM)
So, I happened to watch Millionaire Matchmaker ( [8\|] ) and she said that a girl should only give a guy a year before she gets a commitment from him (marriage or in my case living together). And she said the guy should know if he wants to buy her a ring/commit by 6 to 8 months... So, the question is,.. when you first start "dating or seeing each other when you are looking for a relationship, how long do you give the guy? and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit?

hardcybermaster -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 4:54:31 PM)
everyone is different,I did not realise there was a timetable

Daddysredhead -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 4:54:47 PM)
.

Lucylastic -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 4:59:19 PM)
He asked me to move in with him the next day... we didnt get married for three years after that, .. but we are on year 27 now..........I know of no timetable,

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 5:04:40 PM)
I have no timetable. I have leaped into committed relationships & I have dragged my feet. But for the most part, I know very quickly if the other person is someone to whom I want to commit myself. Sometimes within minutes of meeting, in fact. I am not a patient person. I was taught a hard lesson: life really can be too short & it can definitely be too long to live in unhappiness. So if I am wanting a committed relationship & the other person doesn't seem to be on the same page, I don't wait very long at all before I will be alone again.

LadyPact -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 5:10:38 PM)
I don't know if I agree with the timetable thing. MP says it was a love at first sight thing for him. I took a bit longer. He did propose relatively quickly and we were married within a year. It's still working for us a decade later, so I guess we're ok.

DesFIP -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 5:17:56 PM)
If we're not on the same page as far as the timetable goes, then we're just not compatible. With that said, I've known of people who dated for years but they never did move in or marry. It seems as if the guy just wants her for a place holder. Because in all those cases, the guy eventually did throw her over to commit very quickly to someone else.

DarkSteven -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 5:22:05 PM)
The one time I made a firm commitment, it took just under a year.

hepburn27 -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 5:23:36 PM)
Usually 216 days, 17 hours, 23 minutes and 45 seconds.

tj444 -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 5:38:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP If we're not on the same page as far as the timetable goes, then we're just not compatible. With that said, I've known of people who dated for years but they never did move in or marry. It seems as if the guy just wants her for a place holder. Because in all those cases, the guy eventually did throw her over to commit very quickly to someone else. Yeah, that is what I would be afraid of and why I think there does need to be a deadline of some sort.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 5:44:27 PM)
i don't go into any interaction with too much attachment to expectations or timetables. my last relationship did progress to "we should live together and have kids" in a year, but i wouldn't say that i'd expect that the next time around. (edit to remove a wonky "s")

LadyConstanze -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:11:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tj444 So, I happened to watch Millionaire Matchmaker ( [8\|] ) and she said that a girl should only give a guy a year before she gets a commitment from him (marriage or in my case living together). And she said the guy should know if he wants to buy her a ring/commit by 6 to 8 months... So, the question is,.. when you first start "dating or seeing each other when you are looking for a relationship, how long do you give the guy? and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit? Year 8, 4 of them living together, he asked me to marry him fairly soon (I think a week or two into the relationship) and I thought it was a joke, then proposed (but the ring he had didn't fit, nothing like proper planning eh, so he used one of my own rings, which I found hilarious), oddly enough I was always the one being afraid of commitment in relationships, not committing to a person but just having it official. Or maybe the idea of "living in sin" just appeals more to me ;)

kalikshama -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:22:10 PM)
My ex husband is the only man I ever considered marrying...he proposed in six weeks, we were married in four months and the marriage lasted 14 years.

imperatrixx -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:25:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tj444 So, I happened to watch Millionaire Matchmaker ( [8\|] ) and she said that a girl should only give a guy a year before she gets a commitment from him (marriage or in my case living together). And she said the guy should know if he wants to buy her a ring/commit by 6 to 8 months... So, the question is,.. when you first start "dating or seeing each other when you are looking for a relationship, how long do you give the guy? and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit? I think once you get to be a certain age and you decide you're ready to get married, a year is a decent amount of time to propose. I think that only applies to people looking for their first marriage, in new relationships at a certain age though. If you're 20, you probably don't even want to get married right away. But if you're in that age range where you're looking to settle down, and only interested in dating people who are also looking to settle down, then yeah, that's a good time frame.

angelikaJ -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:27:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP If we're not on the same page as far as the timetable goes, then we're just not compatible. With that said, I've known of people who dated for years but they never did move in or marry. It seems as if the guy just wants her for a place holder. Because in all those cases, the guy eventually did throw her over to commit very quickly to someone else. I was in a relationship in which we did live together eventually. The relationship ended after 9+ years because I did not fit his template of someone he could be in love with; I ended it. Between the time I ended things and he had his happily ever after there were 2 women that he loved but it wasn't right away. The first one he discovered quickly that he loved what he thought he saw and not what was there and the second woman he married and had at least one child with. I think for some men love is not instant. Attraction may be, lust or infatuation but some men are very serious about the use of that 4 letter word. They are not committment phobic, just careful.

DomImus -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:35:46 PM)
What would have served me better in the past would have been a waiting period, not a timetable.

LadyConstanze -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:37:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ I think for some men love is not instant. Attraction may be, lust or infatuation but some men are very serious about the use of that 4 letter word. They are not committment phobic, just careful. I think that is very true, when I was 15 or 16 a guy I snogged (kissed) didn't want to be in a relationship, I was heartbroken for at least 4 weeks (an eternity for a teen) later on we met, both on the rebound, both didn't want a relationship and we were "friends with benefits", it was cool, he was a good friend and sexually we meshed pretty well but I felt there was no pressure on me to be "serious", in fact he was commitment phobic, which suited me fine, 3 months into the non-relationship he started to refer to me as his gf and became a bit possessive and I disengaged carefully. Some guys just need time and pretty often their timing is off, I mean 8 years earlier or so, I would have been the gf...

Arpig -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:46:23 PM)
quote: and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit? As long as it takes. I don't think moving in or marrying really should be the goal, happiness should be. If that happens to involve living together full time great, but if it doesn't that is great as well.When I start a relationship I commit to that relationship for the duration. The intent is for it to last, but if it doesn't it doesn't. I did the til death do us part thing...I didn't know it at the time but aparently I had only ten years to live. Zombie Bob

littlewonder -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 6:49:32 PM)
For me personally in the past when I was still dating if a guy could not commit after 4 or so months..give or take a month or two, then I walked away. If he couldn't do it by then then he most likely never would from my experience. The men who have been the longest in my life committed pretty quickly and it was never even an issue.

KeriB -> RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... (7/11/2011 7:02:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig quote: and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit? As long as it takes. I don't think moving in or marrying really should be the goal, happiness should be. If that happens to involve living together full time great, but if it doesn't that is great as well.When I start a relationship I commit to that relationship for the duration. The intent is for it to last, but if it doesn't it doesn't. I did the til death do us part thing...I didn't know it at the time but aparently I had only ten years to live. Zombie Bob I think this(the bolded part) is the key, as long as both parties are committed to the relationship for the duration of it and not just using each other as place holders, then there doesn't need to be a time table.

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