is this a dumb idea?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

is this a dumb idea?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> is this a dumb idea?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 6:06:05 PM

BogusProfile

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/20/2011
Status: offline

i'm just starting out and things are moving very quickly. i find myself involved with two dommes, one local and one online. they are aware of eachother and even communicate, and they seem to be ok with it. but they each claim to me to be the one ultimately in charge. i don't see this ending well.

what do others think, is this headed for a cliff, or can this sort of thing work?

the profile name should make it clear that i don't want to take the chance that either of them will know for certain that it's me asking this question. thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 6:10:52 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Uhh and they won't figure out by your story?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to BogusProfile)

Post #: 2

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 6:13:43 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Is one of them willing to *not* be the one who has the ultimate authority? If they both know about each other and work together well, they might be agreeable to both having some control over you, while one is really the person who is the authority in your life. Not something that I would do personally, but other people might want that situation. As a Domme, I'd pass on it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BogusProfile)

Post #: 3

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 6:15:31 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Could make for interesting doubles ;)

I just wonder how they are aware of each other and the communication and all that, seems a bit much of a coincidence and could be the local one also the online one and is just playing a bit of a headgame?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 4

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 6:52:42 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

i don't think i'd go for it either, but maybe if the local was a newb and the online more of an experienced mentor, well i guess it could work. but both claiming to be the boss, nah sorry, ss fucking titanic here. blow off the online and go with the local she's there, she's real, and she can actually spank and fuck you, and that's what you're actually after right?

i do however love the fucking honesty of the profile name. when you're done with it you should make it available to anybody who wants to ask embarrassing questions with total fucking anonymity.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to BogusProfile)

Post #: 5

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 8:29:30 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

One of three things is happening here. Either these two women are really one woman who is playing you, these two women, who you say are communicating with each other, are fucking with your head by each of them claiming to be the "ultimate authority" while plotting behind your back, or one of these women is really in charge and the other is seriously deluded.

Regardless of which it is, I don't see it ending well. This is why I don't share my subs with other dominants. Run away from this situation. Run far, run fast and don't look back.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 6

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 8:50:23 PM

Giermo

Posts: 77
Joined: 7/12/2011
Status: offline

The one in the real world probably has more of the authority since the physical is a bit more powerful than the online. But, that is just my opinion.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 7

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/20/2011 11:15:17 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

If it really was something that could work, both wouldn't be claiming to have the final say.

I hope you own and know how to use, a hand glider.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Giermo)

Post #: 8

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 12:21:57 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Yes, very.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to BogusProfile)

Post #: 9

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 12:53:31 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

FR

Oh, lighten up a little everyone.

OP, what does 'involved with' mean? If they're both telling you how many peas to eat with your icecream or what colour of underwear you should be wearing each day and there's a clash, you might have a problem. If one of them's occasionally beating you and the other one's occasionally sitting behind a webcam telling you to beat yourself it is likely to be all be fine and dandy, especially if they really like each other and get on well.

Think of that as a spectrum - specific underwear/pea demands to occasional whacks. Where on that spectrum are you? The further to the left the more issues you might have. But if you're somewhere around the right then there's a lot of fun to be had.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 10

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 1:02:37 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BogusProfile

i'm just starting out and things are moving very quickly. i find myself involved with two dommes, one local and one online. they are aware of eachother and even communicate, and they seem to be ok with it. but they each claim to me to be the one ultimately in charge. i don't see this ending well.

what do others think, is this headed for a cliff, or can this sort of thing work?

the profile name should make it clear that i don't want to take the chance that either of them will know for certain that it's me asking this question. thanks.

This one is easy..

You pick the one who is ultimately in charge.

Done.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to BogusProfile)

Post #: 11

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 1:07:55 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I didn't really think it was that bad, VC.

Some people can own someone along with another person. I'm not one of them. I'm not even willing to own somebody along with MP, so that should tell you something right there. Pretty much forn the same reason. If I said black and he said white, it creates an immediate power struggle.

Stuff like co-topping and such, I'm all for it. There might be a way for the OP to designate certain areas of authority to one and leave the rest for the other or something like that. If they both know each other and are already even talking to each other, there's no reason that they might not make some kind of arrangement where one is the Alpha and the other is the Beta.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 12

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 1:32:17 AM

SweetShySubgirl

Posts: 64
Joined: 6/15/2011
Status: offline

I say you all three sit down together and talk in person if you all can meet otherwise, on the phone (Skype, maybe?) and have a chat about how all this is going to work out. Because I'm thinking it could be a ticking time bomb but, on the other hand it might work. You three just need to work it out.

_____________________________

Formerly YBS

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 13

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 6:25:49 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

*Stomps her feet and screams* I DO NOT SHARE MY TOYS...oh wait you aren't my sub...forget I said that part. Playing is fun and all but I agree with the thought that the person who can actually reach out and smack you is more then likely the one in real power. The idea of you picking what kind of power they each have is nice too, but as a domme it would tick me off and make me think that you are actually the person in power and just playing games. So I guess if you are looking for advice mine would be man up and pick the one you would really rather be in a realationship with.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to SweetShySubgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 9:02:58 AM

RqrCompanionS

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2011
Status: offline

Yes, it is a dumb idea, mostly because, as you say, they both make the claim of being the one ultimately in charge. This is bound to lead to you having to make choices regarding telling untruths to both of them, like, whether you hurt his feelings and make him upset and ruin the session now or if you hurt his feelings when he finds out you've been telling him you believe he is the one in charge when he is not,

My suggestion is that, since they are both talking, and, since they are supposed to be the one(s) in charge, you write the same message to both of them, making sure to tell them that this is what you are doing, and, explain the situation from your viewpoint, and, in that message, tell them that you respect them both, enjoy serving them both, but, you are worried about how this will turn out, with both wanting to be the ultimate authority figure in your life, so, you, being the good little submissive sort that you are, will wait for them to sort it out between them. Or, something like that.

Or, you could assume that, since both are in denial of reality, and, you are obviously not ready to settle down, it is just never going to work, dump them both, and, be on your way.

Or, you could, of course, just tell them straight out that you are still just learning and not ready to be in a committed relationship, as you are exploring, so, you would be quite glad to have them be the ultimate authority, at whatever point you are playing with them, but, that's as far as it will go, until you know more about yourself.

In other words, there is a lot of potential for change and growth, in the situation, but, yes, as it stands, as you described it, it is a truly dumb idea.

(in reply to BogusProfile)

Post #: 15

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 11:26:37 AM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

blow off the online and go with the local she's there, she's real, and she can actually spank and fuck you, and that's what you're actually after right?

I agree. Bias warning: I think online only is lame, ymmv.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 16

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 2:01:54 PM

SuzeCheri

Posts: 483
Joined: 7/19/2011
From: Outside looking in
Status: offline

quote:

whether you hurt his feelings and make him upset and ruin the session now or if you hurt his feelings when he finds out you've been telling him you believe he is the one in charge when he is not,

I think I missed the bit where one of the Dommes got a sex change.

(in reply to RqrCompanionS)

Post #: 17

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 2:19:08 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Uhh and they won't figure out by your story?

Sorry, Lady C, but I don't think the OP's is an uncommon story. I've heard of femdoms vying for 'overall ownership' many times. Even felt shades of it, at times. For a sub male - or this one, anyway - it's a deeply baffling and screwy feeling. It's *very* difficult to relate to. I understand that a lot of femdoms feel this sense of ownership of their sub, but I can't grasp how that feels to the femdom.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 18

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 2:23:31 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BogusProfile

i'm just starting out and things are moving very quickly. i find myself involved with two dommes, one local and one online. they are aware of eachother and even communicate, and they seem to be ok with it. but they each claim to me to be the one ultimately in charge. i don't see this ending well.

OP,

Per my comment to Lady C above: Jesus, tread really, *really* carefully. All available diplomatic skills front and centre. To me, this looks like a right old minefield. Personally, I'd rather take to the mountains in my tent. Good luck!

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to BogusProfile)

Post #: 19

RE: is this a dumb idea? - 7/21/2011 2:34:23 PM

LadyRedRose

Posts: 104
Joined: 1/28/2011
Status: offline

seriously, which do you want to be in charge? the one you could be with in the real world or the fantasy woman online, because really that's all online is. she can be the perfect dominant, doesn't burp, have a lousy sense of fashion, a cat that hates you, none of that challenging real life situation thing going on. doesn't complain about the toilet seat, moving her car seat so you can drive, all that annoying messy relationship stuff. make up your mind what you want and stick with that one.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> is this a dumb idea?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078