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Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 2:06:07 PM   
Iamsemisweet


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I have been seeing a very nice, basically vanilla man, although he is more and more exhibiting some Dom tendencies, which I am thrilled about.  Yay.  He makes a pretty good income in a professional field that doesn't require him to, shall we say, dress for success.  What's a polite way to encourage someone to invest some money in their appearance?  I certainly don't want him to feel like I am taking control of his life, but if I see his butt crack in public one more time, I may scream.  I know he can afford it.
I know this seems petty, but what can I say?  It's important to me.


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.
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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 2:10:43 PM   
Aileen1968


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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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Stick something down the crack. He'll get the message.

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 2:19:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
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Go shopping.

Seriously, ask him to go shopping with you one day and say "This would look really nice on you. Why don't you try it on?" and then delight in how well dressed he looks, compliment him. By then he should get the point.

I've done this. My girlfriend had to do it with the guy she is currently dating. I know other women who have done this and it seems to work every time.







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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 2:45:54 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
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From: The Great Northwest, USA
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I like your idea Littlewonder.  More polite than yanking his pants up 5 times a day.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 2:58:50 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I have been seeing a very nice, basically vanilla man, although he is more and more exhibiting some Dom tendencies, which I am thrilled about.  Yay.  He makes a pretty good income in a professional field that doesn't require him to, shall we say, dress for success.  What's a polite way to encourage someone to invest some money in their appearance?  I certainly don't want him to feel like I am taking control of his life, but if I see his butt crack in public one more time, I may scream.  I know he can afford it.
I know this seems petty, but what can I say?  It's important to me.



There is always the option of being honest and having a talk with him. I did the same thing with my dominant male fairly early on in our relationship.

Now I buy all his clothes, and make suggestions as to what to wear for special events. His basic work wardrobe (business casual) has been coordinated so most shirts match most pants and he can get it together without help.

BTW: I have learned to be in on each and every purchase, even belts, shoes, socks, eye glasses, or there is just no telling what he will choose on his own.

My guy loves that I take care of him this way, and I love to do it for him. I think it's a very common problem and one you may have to initially be diplomatic about, but if he's a keeper he will see you are acting for his best benefit.

And I am not saying looks or clothing is the be all and end all of a person, but how you present yourself in certain situations is important. And the butt crack thing, oh no way, that is soooooooooo not putting your best side forward.




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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 3:00:34 PM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Go shopping.

Seriously, ask him to go shopping with you one day and say "This would look really nice on you. Why don't you try it on?" and then delight in how well dressed he looks, compliment him. By then he should get the point.

I've done this. My girlfriend had to do it with the guy she is currently dating. I know other women who have done this and it seems to work every time.




This, and it does work... Had to do it myself, I guess he might be in IT from the sound of it, other half was wearing a freaking Spiderman shirt when we met.

Another solution would be to get him something as a present (if it is not too early in the relationship) and say you saw that somewhere and just thought how good it would look on him so you got it (he will be flattered) then you compliment him and say that it doesn't go with his pants (a sweater or top would work) and suggest a shopping trip. Don't make the same mistake I made and introduce him to knitted silk and cashmere - unless of course you make sure that you are never responsible for the washing...

Most guys are not used to compliments but they love them, so yes, think dogs, never yell, always positive encouragement....

_____________________________

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 4:47:30 PM   
slaveluci


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Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Stick something down the crack. He'll get the message.



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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 4:50:33 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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also agreeing with littlewonder -- it does work. ^_^ have fun! 

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 6:21:07 PM   
agirl


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Does he know that he shows his arse? If he doesn't, tell him.

It doesn't take money to cover your arse, it takes buying the best clothes for your shape. (which is easier for most men)(take it from me, it is)

agirl



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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/21/2011 8:50:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Buy him a belt?

Seriously, tell him that he's flashing the general public and as nobody over the age of 18 should wear those oversized clothes that fall off them, he needs to stop doing it.

Or buy him this: http://www.amazon.com/John-Molloys-New-Dress-Success/dp/0446385522


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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 10:33:22 AM   
leadership527


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What's a polite way to encourage someone to invest some money in their appearance?
It's the same as the polite way to say to a woman, "Your fat. You should really invest in a gym membership and a diet plan." My question is "Why would you even make the attempt?

I know this seems petty, but what can I say?  It's important to me.
I don't see it as petty. I think people get to choose partners on whatever basis they feel is appropriate. I want HWP women and I don't make any bones about it nor do I feel petty about my preference. What I do NOT do is get involved with obese women then try to fix them. THAT isn't petty, but it's downright rude and inconsiderate.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 10:45:36 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
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From: The Great Northwest, USA
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I understand what you are saying Leadership, and ordinarily I would agree.  I am certainly not looking for a project, or someone to fix.  However, he has some awesome qualities too, and this seems like something that is fixable.
So, it actually was just as simple as taking him shopping.  He has lost some weight recently, and I told him I thought he should reward himself.  He obviously cares what I think, since he spent about 900 bucks buying some great clothes that actually fit. Of course, the plan back fired in the sense that I can't walk in to Nordstroms without spending about 300 bucks myself.  Ah well, now everyone is happy, including the salesman at Nordstroms.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 10:45:43 AM   
LadyConstanze


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Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

What's a polite way to encourage someone to invest some money in their appearance?
It's the same as the polite way to say to a woman, "Your fat. You should really invest in a gym membership and a diet plan." My question is "Why would you even make the attempt?

I know this seems petty, but what can I say?  It's important to me.
I don't see it as petty. I think people get to choose partners on whatever basis they feel is appropriate. I want HWP women and I don't make any bones about it nor do I feel petty about my preference. What I do NOT do is get involved with obese women then try to fix them. THAT isn't petty, but it's downright rude and inconsiderate.


I think dressing better is slightly different from being obese and a lot of guys simply don't have a clue that what they are wearing might look a bit odd.

I haven't got a clue what HWP women are, but helping somebody to pick better clothes is not rude and inconsiderate, it's actually a nice thing and I would hope that if I pick something that doesn't suit me, my other half would tell me that it makes my bum look big or that the colour makes me washed out/clashes with my hair, etc.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 11:06:04 AM   
leadership527


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Joined: 6/2/2008
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OK then. My litmus test for such things...

If you would take him as a life partner whether or not he changes his wardrobe then it's in the acceptable category and offering up your own preferences as a way to make him even more attractive to you is a positive thing.

If, on the other hand, he does not change his wardrobe styles and you would not be willing to spend the remainder of your life with a guy who dresses as he currently does then it becomes "just plain rude & inconsiderate".

@LadyConstanze
HWP = Height weight proportional... 20-30% body fat give or take... what most Americans would call "skinny" and what the rest of the world would call "normal".

I'm glad you don't think that counselling someone on their wardrobe choices is rude & inconsiderate. That, however, is a uniquely female viewpoint. Us men do not get the same sort of latitude. To be fair though, the OP is female and so perhaps she can pull this off in a constructive way.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 11:17:15 AM   
hlen5


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


...........I think dressing better is slightly different from being obese and a lot of guys simply don't have a clue that what they are wearing might look a bit odd.

I haven't got a clue what HWP women are, ........


Height and weight porportionate (not fat).

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 11:21:17 AM   
RqrCompanionS


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Tell him how much it would turn you on to help him select some clothes and see him wear them, to have him reminded of your caress every time he put them on, and, see them wrapped around his beautiful body and know that he was dressed that way for you.

That's the simplest way, if it's true, and, if he cares about turning you on.

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 11:22:12 AM   
mnottertail


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Look, just wear nothin'.  That's ALWAYS gonna be in style. (And it has to match as well, as a side benefit).

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 11:29:11 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

OK then. My litmus test for such things...

If you would take him as a life partner whether or not he changes his wardrobe then it's in the acceptable category and offering up your own preferences as a way to make him even more attractive to you is a positive thing.

If, on the other hand, he does not change his wardrobe styles and you would not be willing to spend the remainder of your life with a guy who dresses as he currently does then it becomes "just plain rude & inconsiderate".

@LadyConstanze
HWP = Height weight proportional... 20-30% body fat give or take... what most Americans would call "skinny" and what the rest of the world would call "normal".

I'm glad you don't think that counselling someone on their wardrobe choices is rude & inconsiderate. That, however, is a uniquely female viewpoint. Us men do not get the same sort of latitude. To be fair though, the OP is female and so perhaps she can pull this off in a constructive way.


I have yet to meet a guy that wasn't willing to take some advice on clothing and how to dress better.

The OP reminded me of a sight I saw last Friday. Large guy on a chopper with ape hangers (which I think are ridiculous looking ANYway, but that is beside the point) wearing a wife beater and low slung jeans. The problem was that his wife beater had ridden up to expose half of his big ole belly, his love handles, and a good six inches of butt crack. The funny part........ALLLLLLLLL of the exposed flesh had obviously been exposed for quite some time as it was fire engine red.

The cute little moral of that story... while that dude might have believed he looked like one tough, bad ass, biker on a Harley chopper........he actually looked like a fat, sun burnt fool. Any good biker babe would have helped her man see the error of his costume ways and given him a belt, and shirt that fit. Not to mention a helmet for his sunburnt balding head.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 11:31:42 AM   
RqrCompanionS


Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

What's a polite way to encourage someone to invest some money in their appearance?
It's the same as the polite way to say to a woman, "Your fat. You should really invest in a gym membership and a diet plan." My question is "Why would you even make the attempt?

I know this seems petty, but what can I say?  It's important to me.
I don't see it as petty. I think people get to choose partners on whatever basis they feel is appropriate. I want HWP women and I don't make any bones about it nor do I feel petty about my preference. What I do NOT do is get involved with obese women then try to fix them. THAT isn't petty, but it's downright rude and inconsiderate.

quote:

What I do NOT do is get involved with obese women then try to fix them. THAT isn't petty, but it's downright rude and inconsiderate.


Ah, but, there are polite ways to say it, if your intentions are good. Such as "I am worried about your health and you don't seem very happy with your size. Is there something I can do to help you?"
As for getting involved with obese women and trying to fix them, it is only rude if, in fact, you are doing it when they don't want to be fixed, or, doing it in a manner that is not at all helpful to them. If they want help to change, if they need help to change, and, you are offering to do what they need, it is called being a friend.

Says the obese woman who is damned tired of everybody judging her for what was caused by several horrible people in her life, and, compounding the problem (since it is mostly related to extreme stress and bad doctoring), and, who are never willing to listen, consider that maybe she, as the inhabitant of her body, knows what is needed to be done, and, then, do something constructive rather than something just assholeish.

I want a slave who is perfectly fine with getting involved with an obese woman and fixing her, because, I have the knowledge of how to do it and no resources to get it done. So, what I think is rude and inconsiderate, is for people to ignore me when I say that, then give me bad advice that does not apply to my life (and, seldom applies to any females life, for that matter), or, tell me that they like bigger women so they wouldn't want to help.

If that's the case, they should get out of the way, because, I only have room in my life for those slaves who are actually going to be helpful in me changing my life, so that is more comfortable for me, and, then, who are willing to help others do the same.

PS: While my body fat percentage is not 20 -30 percent, it is, in fact, lower than a whole lot of women I know who are size 2 - size 7, who people look at and judge as not obese and as socially acceptable. So, HWP obviously doesn't really mean anything about actual physical fat content, or, those men who say they want women who are HWP would be chasing me in favor of the smaller women with less muscle and bone. It has shite to do with actual health, and, everything to do with looks.

< Message edited by RqrCompanionS -- 7/22/2011 11:41:35 AM >

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RE: Wardrobe challenged - 7/22/2011 11:47:42 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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This is NOT another one of those, fat threads...........mmmmmmmmmmmK!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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