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RE: Blame the Dom - 7/27/2011 7:24:31 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I think here on the boards the male doms get blamed pretty darned often, mostly b/c 90% of the time it's the fem subs who come on here whining, and wringing their hands, and asking for advice. We only have her side, and like many such stories they are skewed to put the teller in a more favorable light. So as a group, we tend to blame the dom, since he/she is supposed to be who is accountable, anyway.

JMO, YMMV

I think you hit the target on that one.

Here on the boards, when somebody presents what boils down to a relationship problem, I think sympathies fall to the OP a great percentage of the time. Not always, as can be demonstrated by the thread that I think the OP based this thread on, but it does seem to happen quite a bit.

(The rest of this is general and not specifically towards CP.)

I couldn't say if Doms tend to blame other male Doms or offer sympathy in certain situations with the ulterior motive of thinking it will get one more person back in the dating pool. I think it's possible, but it's not especially a phenomenon that we have over on the Mistress board. There's more than enough fish in the sea when you swap the genders around. It might, however, explain why folks are so quick to side with anybody who has joined a couple when it comes to the poly board. It isn't all that often that there is an overwhelming recommendation to try to work things out. More often than not, folks jump on the "you should leave" bandwagon no matter what the original problem brought the person to the board in the first place.

I could be wrong thinking this has more to do with percentages and ratios, rather than gender, but it is something to think about.

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(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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RE: Blame the Dom - 7/28/2011 2:16:57 AM

rosanegra

Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm of the opinion that we're all adults and we all have responsibilities and to lie all of that responsibility at the dom's feet is just sheer lunacy and there's no way no one human being can possibly handle all that and his own responsibilities. It is just calling for a mental meltdown and an emotional breakdown of the relationship.

No one person can take on all the burdens of the world and I personally don't want my dom taking on every single mistake I make up because sometimes I'm simply a fuckup. It's not his fault so why should I blame him and why should he blame himself?

A relationship takes two people...not one and really when it comes right down to it...we're in a relationship.

This is kind of what I was getting at, but I wanted to find out if anyone else had a similar take on the issue before putting my opinion out there.

< Message edited by rosanegra -- 7/28/2011 2:21:20 AM >

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Post #: 42

RE: Blame the Dom - 7/28/2011 3:01:31 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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I disagree. It is all his fault =p. lol

I am responsible for my behaviour. If i follow down a path that i know is going to cut up my feet, i knew it was going to cut up my feet.

(but don't tell him just in case i decide to blame him later okay?)

(in reply to rosanegra)

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Post #: 43

RE: Blame the Dom - 7/28/2011 4:13:01 PM

HardtotheKore

Posts: 78
Joined: 7/21/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra

I had a whole long post typed out, but realized I was more stating my personal opinion than asking the question I really wanted to ask... so here it is, short and sweet.

Do you think we blame the Dominant too often when things go wrong?

It's simple to lay blame. If you take the time to study a true and wise Dom and at the same time discover what a true sub is, it's all relative and in most circumstances, you'll find that the ones that profess the ability of being a true Dom and true sub, they're only kidding themselves. It is both to blame. We are all responsible for our actions. The key is to know who is right and who is wrong. Even is the "almighty" Master is to blame, it takes a strong person to admit to mistakes, a greater person to solve them.

(in reply to rosanegra)

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Post #: 44